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I was raised Catholic, went to Catholic grade school, high school, and college. In my early to mid-twenties I started to explore more New Age-y stuff, then slid into a stint with Course In Miracles (lol, I know, I know) then one day I was just over talking about God. I knew it was a hoax. Then came Shamanism. I still dabble in Tarot as a psychological tool. I hug trees and I love them more than people. Went through a brief Goddess-worship phase somewhere in there. It's a mish-mash, and I don't recall the exact timeline.
Now, in my 50's, I've come to understand the truth, and to be willing to embrace it, however awkwardly. My exploration of Satanism and Objectivism is ongoing and I'm grateful to be who I am now. If a bit lonely because there's such rampant insanity everywhere.
I'm diagnosed as schizophrenic and am currently enmeshed in mental health culture. There is a great emphasis by mental health practitioners (some more so than others) on the importance of developing spirituality. The unspoken subtext is, of course, Christian spirituality and all of the various tenets that come packaged with it such as egalitarianism and the idea that submission to authority is both good and in your best interest. These are useful ideas to install in subordinates from a systems management perspective, for keeping your sheep from wandering off to either find a better patch of grass or getting slaughtered by wolves (i.e. calling the child-like dependence they encourage and intensify good because doing so can protect against certain dangers), but potentially harmful to someone who is trying to develop a healthy identity, find happiness, and discover the joy of life in this cold, often uncaring world.
If a mystic were to read the palms of my "peers in recovery", many of them (though there are many exceptions!) would receive the same prophecy Apollonius gave to the sad, foolish woman in The Circus of Dr. Lao:
"Tomorrow will be like today, and the day after tomorrow will be like day before yesterday," said Apollonius. "I see your remaining days each as quiet, tedious collections of hours. You will not travel anywhere. You will think no new thoughts. You will experience no new passions. Older you will become but not wiser. Stiffer but not more dignified. Childless you are, and childless you shall remain. Of that suppleness you once commanded in your youth, of that strange simplicity which once attracted a few men to you, neither endures, nor shall you recapture any of them anymore. People will talk to you and visit with you out of sentiment or pity, not because you have anything to offer them. Have you ever seen an old cornstalk turning brown, dying, but refusing to fall over, upon which stray birds alight now and then, hardly remarking what it is they perch on? That is you. I cannot fathom your place in life's economy. A living thing should either create or destroy according to its capacity and caprice, but you, you do neither. You only live on dreaming of the nice things you would like to have happen to you but which never happen; and you wonder vaguely why the young lives about you which you occasionally chide for a fancied impropriety never listen to you and seem to flee at your approach. When you die you will be buried and forgotten and that is all. The morticians will enclose you in a worm-proof casket, thus sealing even unto eternity the clay of your uselessness. And for all the good or evil, creation or destruction, that your living might have accomplished, you might just as well has never lived at all. I cannot see the purpose in such a life. I can see in it only vulgar, shocking waste."
Mental health professionals are there to help us and steer people away from causing harm to society, but they are also the mouthpieces of the "non-profit" agencies to which they belong. They must keep paperwork to show regulatory agencies that they are actually doing what they must to retain their license to continue billing medicaid and receiving a paycheck for their services. I recently had to explain this to a peer I consider a friend. Her verbage was full of mental health buzzwords like "narcissist" and "drug of choice" (she didn't even use drugs!) that did not apply to her, or were not entirely accurate. She was very confused and depressed, over-intellectualized to distraction. Feeling compassion for her because of my own negative experiences I managed to steer her thinking towards what I view as more reasonable. After a three hour conversation she laughed and smiled and seemed genuinely happier. Some Satanists might think I am wasting my time but I suppose I have a strong sense of the injustice being done to the "mentally ill." I want to embody what I wanted to have for myself for others.
"In the 'modern world', the best do not rule, it is the worst who rule, or, to put it more accurately, who 'manage', in a chaos that they feed and intensify." -Julius Evola
This Evola quote describes the mental health support system in America to a T. You can extrapolate what I've said here and apply it to organized religion as well.
I suppose what I'm getting at is a question: Satanists reject the notion of Noblesse Oblige; the idea that one is obligated to bestow upon others their knowledge or attention just because one is more accomplished, more successful, or has something to offer to the asker when that person can offer nothing in return.
Right now most of my knowledge is about Satanism and perhaps applied psychology. I believe LaVey was perceptive indeed to make titles within the Church of Satan dependent on success outside the sphere of Satanism. As I attend school and become better in my chosen field, will this desire to help others fade away? Are there any pitfalls when your self-identity as a "helpful teacher" fades away?