By Magister Svengali, Church of Satan
The day before yesterday I recieved an "add me" request on myspace.com from Stanton LaVey.
I added him just to see what would happen. I expected some kind of overture and only noticed his profile statement later.
A slow afternoon yesterday and a large cup of black coffee impelled me write this.
Thankfully he had globbed it all into one paragraph, which allowed me to break it down into a numbered list by hitting “enter.”
Ok, point by point:
1. I am Stanton Zaharoff LaVey, the first person ever born into Satanism and the first atheist religion recognized and accepted by the American Armed Forces, The Church of Satan. This makes me America's first born Satanist (I'm making this point for a couple of creeps that are going to read this and cringe because they know it's true and they can't deny it!)
SL seems to be forgetting the well documented public baptism of his mother.
The question of defacto Satanists aside, there were many children born to Satanic parents, some Satanic some not, including his mother Zeena, who along with Stanton seem to be the most explicit demonstration that Satanic parents do not guarantee Satanic children, or grandchildren. How many Satanists walk a path entirely contrary to their parents? Or their grandparents? That street runs both ways.
Also, let’s see how many times in this tirade SL can refer to the Church of Satan to bolster his ego, while simultaneously denying its relevance.
2. I am a baptized Satanist and Magus of The Church of Satan, founded by my grandfather, Anton LaVey, and my grandmother, Diane LaVey aka Diane Hegarty.
“Baptized” a Magus? Used the word “magus” in a baptism ceremony, maybe, but give me a fucking break.
3. Contrary to the beliefs of a certain aforementioned few, I AM a Satanist, always will be dammit! I do NOT represent Church of Satan.
I thought he was supposed to be a “baptized Magus of the Church of Satan.”
4. Being a Magus I can not be confined to any organization other than my own.
Except for inconsistently referring to the Church of Satan whenever he feels like it makes a point.
5. I am a nondenominational Satanist and Satanic High Priest.
Like we’ve never heard THAT ONE before.
6. I spent my formative years in the original HQ of the Original Church of Satan and I am very close with my grandmother, Diane, who the Satanic Bible was dedicated to and who co-founded the Church with my grandfather.
Diane, who also renounced Dr. LaVey, changed her name, and filed lawsuits against him. I think the “heritage” continuity was broken there, some time ago. Although not as explicitly as by Stanton’s mother Zeena.
7. I am also good friends with Tony Vincent, my grandfathers "left hand man" for over 30 years. They are the my consigliere.
I’m sure Mr. Vincent is a worthy person if Dr. LaVey held him in such esteem. I’m also sure whatever endorsement of Stanton owes something more to his loyalty to Dr. LaVey, more than any philosophical or organizational leadership abilities of Stanton, that have yet to be demonstrated in any way whatsoever.
8. I have formed an impressive council of men and woman who's names I will reveal when the time is right.
You can’t make caviar out of fish bait, no matter how many people line up to tell you it’s caviar.
9. It's time for some Satanic Scandal and I'm just the man to bring it!
Again, old hat. It’s been done. And will probably be attempted by others long after Church of Satan officials have said “….remember back when Stanton posted all that stupid shit on internet.”
10. The COS was an extension of my grandfathers personality, charm and talents and when he passed away in 1997, it went with him.
Aside from the fact that nearly a decade later it is still the oldest and largest international Satanic organization in the world?
11. The people who currently own the name and organization "The Church of Satan" are not Satanists at all.
Interesting assertion considering Stanton has had no interaction with Central Grotto aside from superficial correspondence. That is ASSUMING he would have the criteria to judge one way or another, an assumption that is in direct conflict with his case history. Maybe Miss Cleo told him so.
Consider this: Dr. LaVey appointed any number of people to the Priesthood of the Church of Satan well before his untimely death. People who were not only capable of representing Satanism, but who were also REPRESENTATIVE OF Satanism. That includes the ability to ascertain the Satanic nature of anything or anyone in question. The lion’s share of these people, APPOINTED TO THE CHURCH OF SATAN HIERARCHY BY DR. LAVEY HIMSELF, have thrown themselves behind Magistra Blanche Barton, Magus Peter Gilmore, and Magistra Peggy Nadramia in 100% support of their leadership. These are all people who have met and known one another.
12. The current Grand Poobah of the COS was not appointed by my grandfather, he bought that title from my grandfathers last mistress AFTER my grandfather passed away.
Another unfounded allegation from the petulant Stanton. Why then is Magistra Barton (the “mistress” referred to) still in such close and friendly association with the Church of Satan?
Not to mention the fact that Stanton’s assumed family “linage” argument falls apart in the face of Dr. LaVey’s FIRST BORN SON, from Magistra Barton.
Lets also not forget that had Magistra Barton not kindly included a photo and comments about Stanton in her biography of Dr. LaVey, few would have known Stanton LaVey existed in the first place.
13. I know that certain people will take offense to what they are reading here - FUCK OFF! –
Very cogent argument, in keeping with the rest of this tripe.
14. The people in positions of "power" in the COS are people who offer the most money and services, like web designing and trinket making. This is the case with most organized religions of marginal repute, Scientology is a perfect example; the more money you bring the more important to the cause, or in this case the "COS", you are. No brainer, right?
This re-hash of accusations that Dr. LaVey “sold” appointments to the hierarchy is abject bullshit. I never paid ANYTHING aside from my original $100 membership fee, aside from willingly chipping in on gifts, dinner, etc. I was appointed to the priesthood by Dr. LaVey, and to the degree of Magister by Magus Gilmore. Anyone holding a degree in the Church of Satan could testify under oath without perjury that this is bullshit. But again the truth value is in keeping with the rest of this tirade from Stanton.
15. The Church of Satan was meant to be the antithesis of any and all formal and fundamental religions - but over time it has become just that, a formal and fundamental religion.
Dr. LaVey intended Satanism to be the antithesis of traditional white light religions, and he did intend it to be an “open source” religion. But he also intended the Church of Satan to be “organized” in the sense of quality-controlled recognition and conspiracy, to serve as a guiding example. Satanism is not, and never was an “anything goes” philosophy, contrary to the strident claims of Stanton and thousands of semi-literate angst-driven teenagers who want to be their counterproductive and mediocre selves and still be able to call themselves Satanists. Not. There is a lesson here.
16. Satanism is a philosophy! Satanism is a way of life! Satanism represents indulgence instead of abstinence!
This is about as deep as the “philosophy” angle gets with Stanton.
Reading some of his erratic and sporadic posts on internet leaves me wondering if he reads much at all.
17. Satanism was created by my grandfather, Dr. Anton LaVey, as a means to provide outcasts of society with a strong and, more importantly, cool identity and social sphere!
Again, this is about as deep as it gets, cashing in on the LaVey name for some feeble counterculture clout to play pied piper to retarded L.A. goth fashion victims.
18. Before Dr. LaVey - a loner was a loser, now loners are rebels!
Curious, how does SL reconcile being a “loner” with his “cool identity and social sphere”….?
19. There's quite a bit of information (mostly true - some false) about me available online. If you type my name into www.google.com, for instance, you might read about me being a "Lifestyle Satanist" in an article for LA Weekly by my friend Ron Athey (creator of Premature Ejaculation with Rozz Williams (Christian Death), considered to be the origin of what we know today as modern "performance art".)
What does Rozz Williams have to do with anything, aside from being another pseudo-“name” to drop for the goth crowd? Talk about sacrificing credibility for the sake of trendy “scene” currency.
20. Or you might read about me robbing pimps and drug dealers and being in and out of jail in an article for Bizarre Magazine by Dan Kapelovitz (Founding Member and "New Keith" of The Partridge Family Temple and mondo-gonzo LA journalist for Hustler Mag, Maxim, Bizarre, etc.)
Yes, I read the article in Bizarre Magazine, which also included some disparaging material about Dr. LaVey. The article should have been titled, “How to be a Pathetic Attention Whore trying to impersonate Woody Harrelson’s role from Natural Born Killers,” or better yet, “How NOT to be a Satanist.”
21. You might stumble across my Auntie Vag (Vaginal Davis, best friends of the illustrious Glen Meadmore and Goddess Bunny - most known for her pioneer efforts in the LA alternative / gay / art scene - she is a legend as well as my Auntie!) depicting me as some kind of Neo-Fascist Casanova?
Again, I’m missing the relevance. This is mindless name dropping.
22. You might read some shit by Zeena Schreck - "yeah the bitch that laid the rotten egg that hatched my crazy ass" claiming that I was molested! - well I wasn't and that's something you'll have to check out my website to learn about once it's up - .stantonlavey.com]www.stantonlavey.com –
As if anyone worth considering ever believed anything emanating from Zeena Dubin. Now it seems to apply to her biological as well as written emissions.
23. in the mean time check out my construction page and upcoming message board!
Oh, I can hardly wait.
24. To understand me you must know me - and to know me means to tolerate me first - once you master that ability, I can be easily manipulated to the advantage of great people!
Very Satanic [sarcasm].
25. I am a darling of Hollywood and the Stars that rise and fall here! I spent weekends as a boy with either of my famous godfathers Kenneth Anger or Richard Lamparski - who would take me with him on his interviews with Iris Adrian, Ish Kabibble, Johhny Eck (The half man from the movie "Freaks"), Dorothy Rever, Billy Curtis (The mayor of Munchkinland in "The Wizard of Oz"), Joy Hodges (Who discovered Ronald Regan and sent him to Hollywood to become and actor) for his series of books called "Whatever Became of...", to name a few of the silver screen greats I knew before they died. I spent evenings in the company of writers like Jaques Vallee and Arthur Lyons and socialites like Samson DeBrier and David DeValle.
Drop more names. Please. Gossip works better when you get SOMEONE ELSE to pass it along, instead of gossiping about YOURSELF.
26. My first 5 years were spent in The Church of Satan on California Street in San Francisco.
My first 5 years were spent on a farm, which hardly makes me a farmer.
27. When I was 5 Zeena wanted to find out how the other half lived so she hooked up with a psychotic asian man who beat me to a pulp for 3 years. She left him for breaking my nose, finally, when I was 8...then, after appearing on a bunch of daytime talk shows, Zeena wanted to swing in the "big league" of acting so she packed our bags and moved us from SF to LA, for the first time. I attended Gardner Street Elementary, on Gardner and Sunset, and Bancroft Junior High - it sucked –
Smart; try to cash in on the genetic lineage angle by breaking the only link in the chain.
28. Zeena fucked literally everyone in the super hip - totally under the radar - "Counter-Culture" scene, including Adam Parfrey (feral house), Boyd Rice (NON), and King Diamond (Merciful Fate) –
More of the same, and too much info into the bargain.
29. and then finally the last turd Barry Dubin aka Nikolas Schreck, an Orange County born Jew who became a cross-dressing, self loathing, neo-nazi, blood drinking, vampire dork! He started a terrible band called Radio Werewolf - does that name sound scary? Pretty Frightening? The true horror of the band was the horrible noise they made...The Worst Goth Music Ever... EEEeeeeeuuuuCH! I would actually have to bite my lip to not laugh at them when we'd be up at Kinko's well past the witching hour glue sticking their album covers together or in the studio with me on keyboards (at age 10) and the two of them arguing bickering about the direction of any one of their atrocious songs. So, at some point "Nikolas" began to fancy himself a Nazi???? And began to dress (kinda) and act (sorta) the part with one big flaw, himself! He is a big and awkward, pigeon toed, pale ghoul of a man that snorted when he laughed, chewed with his mouth wide open, and walked around with his filthy, yes filthy unwashed and very soiled Gothic (black) slacks deep inside his flabby ass crack. I spent 3 years of my life steadily on the brink of barfing from being around this clown. Nikolas proved himself to be useful to me though, because without Nikolas I wouldn't have spent two Easters at Tom Metzgers (Ex Grand Wizard of the KKK and the creator of W.A.R - The White Aryan Resistance) house for egg hunts with his "all white" family. It was Tom Metzgers son that broke Geraldo's nose on his infamous racist episode in the late 80's! I went to Disneyland with Bob Heick, a notorious skinhead that was a champion and leader of the 80's skinhead movement and the creator of The American Front. Gee, thanks Nikolas - what would I have ever done with myself had you not introduced me to the stupidest white people on earth!!! Danke Schoen!!!
Again bolsters the case that Satanic parentage is no guarantee of ANYTHING. The only new development is to confirm that fact can extend for TWO generations, not just one.
That part amused me because I like to read anyone bagging on Dubin - especially after hearing his narration to the Manson interview DVD that was like a contest to see how many verbose fifty-cent words you could cram into one sentence!
30. I became, and have remained friends with stand up guys like Nick Bougas, Boyd Rice, Father Larry Wessel, and John Aes-Nihil.
Again, good for him. I wonder how they feel about their names being promiscuously dropped in desperate internet overtures to bolster one’s identity.
31. I spent a few years in Europe, homeless and in mental hospitals, not because I was crazy - even though I am now - but rather because my mother had lost her mind and her sadistic boyfriend thought I would make for a perfect instrument in his rituals of contempt against my grandfather.
I’d stick with the “crazy” alibi if I were him.
32. You see, the reason Zeena sided with Aquino ("The Bumblebee" - as my grandma and grandpa always called him) from the Temple of Set and denounced Dr. LaVey as her father was because he wouldn't relinquish controlling interest of the Church to her and her crackpot boyfriend.
So why would anyone think he would relinquish it to her crackpot son?
33. My grandfather was a great man, a brilliant man, as if he'd sit idle and watch his organization go to shit at the hands of an incompetent fan boy?!?! Absolutely not! Well not until he died, at least...
No. Not then, not now.
34. If you want to know the truth about the current owners and administrators of my grandfathers organization you'll have to lookout for the whole story on stantonlavey.com. I will tell you this much, if my grandfather where here today things would be working very differently.
I’m sure it will be as coherent and convincing as this little display.
Never having been involved in the Church of Satan, aside from being in proximity before the age of 5, how can he presume to know how it works in the first place, much less how it allegedly works "differently" now?
35. The "dumb guy" part of my personality loves big cars, hot chicks and mexican food! I'm the best to my friends and the worst to my enemies, of both I have few, so if you make either list you can call yourself "special" as my friend Ugly Shyla puts it. I love my girlfriend, Szandora, and my animals!
I have yet to see any other part of his personality.
36. I don't take shit from anybody! I've got a hair trigger temper that has got me into as much trouble as it's gotten me out.
Impressive. A truly unique quality.
37. I pride myself in having exceptionally good taste in everything, so if you want to make yourself a better person, message me!
That was the funniest part of the whole charade. Yes, cookie cutter uniformly pierced and tattooed bile-puking LA goth/fetish disasters are the apogee of taste and discrimination. Really hats off. I can tell he really read the books.
Keeping in mind of course that on the scale of importance in the world, 10 being the most important, internet probably comes in at around 2, and under that umbrella myspace.com probably comes in proportionally at around .0000000000001
The L.A. club scene comes in much farther on the negative scale.
And thats being generous.
THE BOTTOM LINE: Stanton met with Dr. LaVey briefly a couple of times in the months before his death. Stanton's name is not included anywhere in the membership roster, although it is clear from the records that Dr. LaVey took pains to make sure that the right people were included (and excluded) right up to the time of his death.
Stanton made no attempt to pursue membership in the Church of Satan. His statements are an insult to anyone reading this, as he clearly believes that he is more of a Satanist than you could ever be by right of his birth. Anyone who understands the Satanic philosophy knows that this is wrong.
Feel free to pass this along, repost it, etc. Stanton obviously wants the attention.
~ Magister Svengali
Church of Satan