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#177261 - 07/12/06 12:26 AM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: WolfMoon]
Dallas Offline

Registered: 06/11/06
Posts: 69
Loc: Utah County, Utah, US
Apparently, they came by my house late last week. My girlfriend, being the nice girl that she is. LET THEM THE FUCK IN! Although, she knows I don't want those stupid, lying, child molesting little sick fuckers in my house.

I've been hoping that they come by again while I'm home. But, I think she told them that if I caught them here I would kill them.

#177262 - 07/12/06 04:37 AM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: WolfMoon]
newblood Offline

Registered: 07/05/06
Posts: 1
Loc: Utah
I grew up in Salt Lake City, I've had many experiences with the missionaries. We used to get stopped on our way home from school. Then if we ever saw them from a distance we would stop, turn around and go the other way, they will follow you!
now I avoid eye contact with them. they havent been to my house in about three years.
If they did I would probably spout some mumbo jumbo and make them think I put a curse on them.

#177263 - 07/12/06 05:48 AM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: WolfMoon]
ElJago Offline

Registered: 03/01/06
Posts: 427
Loc: Northumberland, England
I think sometimes it can be fun to have discussions with the faithful of any denomination. It's always suprising how fragile their rhetoric and dogma is when questioned in a rational way.

I've read the bible a few times (it's a tad preachy but full of blood and thunder) and having a basic knowledge of its contents can be handy when having a debate or discussion with someone whos a believer.

I must say though that the few mormons that have called at my door are always polite and well mannered, Jehovahs witnesses which are more common where I live tend to be more confrontational and rude.
Man: An animal so lost in rapturous comtemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be - Ambrose Bierce - The Devil's Dictionary.

Alice laughed. "There's no use trying," she said, "one can't believe impossible things."
"I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was younger, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." - Lewis Carroll, Through the looking glass.

#177264 - 07/12/06 05:56 AM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: ElJago]
x9x Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 12/10/04
Posts: 967
Loc: Flanders - Europe
Be it a door to door salesman that is trying to sell his crappy vacuum cleaner or fanatics trying to sell the 'watchtower', i think it's a waste of time to go in argument with that kinda folks. As they think they're selling 'the truth'.
He who turns the other cheek is a cowardly dog.
||.TSB Page 33.||

An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.
|| Benjamin Franklin ||

The lack of money is the root of all evil.
|| George Bernard ||

#177265 - 07/12/06 06:37 AM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: S_Magazine]
Bill_M Offline
CoS Magister

Registered: 07/28/01
Posts: 11651
Loc: New England, USA
In my experience the Mormons, and most proselytizers in general, tend to not wait around if they known you've already made up your mind about religion. Their real target audience is the spiritually ambiguous. You could stand there and debate with them, but that would brighten their otherwise dull afternoon.
Reverend Bill M. Carnal Comedy Clips, Netherworld Novelty Numbers,
New hour every week. Download the mp3 now! Tales of Combat Clutter and other Adventures

(Wenn du Google's ‹bersetzer verwendest, um diese Worte zu lesen, dann bist du ein Arschloch.)

#177266 - 07/12/06 07:24 AM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: WolfMoon]
HellofallHells Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 10/31/05
Posts: 3524

They knew what I said made sense.

Don't count on it.
Hell of All Hells

#177267 - 07/12/06 07:58 AM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: x9x]
ThaDeej Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 06/15/06
Posts: 241
Loc: Greenville, SC
Couldn't agree more. I've never heard a more circular argument than that of an xtian and their bible being the end all truth.

"How do we know Jesus is the son of god?"
"Because he says so."
"But who is he to make that claim?"
"He is Jesus, king of kings, lord of lords, son of god!"
"Says who?"
"Jesus. In the bible."
Repeat this until one or more involved parties tires...
"Good and Evil liveth only in men's minds," Ragnar Redbeard

#177268 - 07/12/06 11:40 AM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: WolfMoon]
Maya Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 04/21/05
Posts: 1447
Loc: New England
Why bother arguing with them? Once a shithead, always a shithead.

I've never had a problem with missionaries. If I did, I would deal with them in a very direct way. I would first ask them for their full names. I would then politely ask them to leave and inform them that refusal on their part would constitute trespassing and that I would immediately call the police in such a case. If they did indeed refuse to leave, I would indeed call the police. Problem solved.

#177269 - 07/12/06 11:42 AM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: Maya]
Neko Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 05/05/04
Posts: 798
Exactly. There's no need to get all worked up when it's not really neccessary.
I am a Vampire.

The Temple | The Elite

#177270 - 07/12/06 11:45 AM Re: My last answer to them [Re: x9x]
Helliott Offline

Registered: 09/17/04
Posts: 217
Loc: VA
I would prefer to take the Baldar Conehead approach. Invite them in, say things like "What do you know of the Doom awaiting this planet?" and just generally mess with them and have fun.

Then I'd remind them that since only 144,000 people can get into heaven, their chances aren't too good, are they?

Maybe I'd even get dressed up like Lincoln.

Edited by Helliott (07/12/06 11:54 AM)
"I come from hell, presently, to take you there!" -Edward "Blackbeard" Teach "You can't spell Slaughter without Laughter!" "What must one do to become blessed? That I do not know, but I say to you: 'Be Blessed, and then do whatever you please." -Friedrich Nietzsche

#177271 - 07/12/06 12:13 PM Re: My last answer to them [Re: Helliott]
Assabrah Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 01/17/05
Posts: 2062
That is just funny when they knock at your door. Especially when it's young women, and you look at them on purpose like if you were suggesting another way to see a religion...A horizontal one.

Has left the board.

#177272 - 07/12/06 01:39 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: Neko]
Ricochet_Rabbit Offline

Registered: 07/05/06
Posts: 22
Loc: Minnesota

Exactly. There's no need to get all worked up when it's not really neccessary.

But why not anyhow? It can be alot of fun argueing with them ( provided you use your sense of humor).And assuming you dont let yourself be suckered into listening to one of their excrusiatingly boring little diatribes( These r the worst ).

When I was a kid one side of my extended family were mostly mormons- thank me not anymore -. So more often then not I'm already in a position to ask them a sticky question before they can even finish their train of thought. I love to pretend to be enthusiastic about hearing "the truth" and put on my "friendly face". I always make sure my questions and statements seem sincere- but sticky icky none the less -. Most of these missionaries arnt really used to being asked hard questions about what they actually believe and usually just kind of filibuster untill they think Iv forgotten my question. I love to see the frustrated looks on their faces as I point out why their response to my question didnt answer the question at all and the blank looks as they try to pull some response out of their asses.... this is probably just a personal fetish of mine stemming from my childhood...still enjoyable thou.

Try asking a mormon why it is they believe black people and other non-white races are inferior to whites(gettin' down with foxy brown is damnable) and watch their faces blush. Then follow up with ," what about shack?... jesse jackson?.... michael jackson?... does he count? ".

But like everything, this gets boring after a while. And then I just tell them sternly and matter-of-factly ,"no, I'm deffinetly not interested" and tell them to leave and not come back ( if by this point they havent invited themselves to do so already). This sudden change in demeanor usually serves as an extra kick in the pants to these guys who believed you were more or less "hooked".

for risk of severely decreasing your I.Q. dont come in contact with these people too often... It's a dangerous game.

I'm not completly sure I'm winning
"The truth is, as every one knows, that the great artists of the world are never Puritans, and seldom even ordinarily respectable. No virtuous man- that is, virtuous in the Y.M.C.A. sense- has ever painted a picture worth looking at, or written a symphony worth hearing, or a book worth reading, and it is highly improbable that the thing has ever been done by a virtuous woman." ..........H.L. Mencken " mmmmmm... sacreligious" - Homer J. Simson

#177273 - 07/12/06 02:51 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: Ricochet_Rabbit]
ModernTantalus Offline

Registered: 05/05/06
Posts: 325
I had a friend who had left the Mormon church and was feeling guilty about it. Still had some clingings of faith. Then I pointed something out that floored him first, and made him feel instantly better once the shock had warn off. The book of Morman is written in King James english. Think about that a second. Why would a man who was barely literate translate a book of the Bible given to him by God into King James english in the late 1800's? Wouldn't it make more sense to translate it into the english that he and everyone else were familiar with. He also lays on the King James english whenever the text starts getting too plain and straight forward, a very obvious attempt to make it easier to swallow by people who were already reading the Bible. It had a psychological effect that just made it "feel right" to other Christians. Whenever I help someone completely shed the chains of any particular faith I feel a great sense of accomplishment. After all, what could be more Satanic than destroying faith with the light of reason?

#177274 - 07/12/06 04:46 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: Maya]
WolfMoon Offline

Registered: 04/03/06
Posts: 735
Well, like I said, it was entertaining at best. It wasn't really an argument, more of a discussion. Also, this way I know they will not be back. I wasn't all fired up about it. It was worth it just for the laugh.

#177275 - 07/12/06 05:46 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: Quaark]
WolfMoon Offline

Registered: 04/03/06
Posts: 735

I have never had a door-to-door Mormon anywhere I've lived.

I've really only known one Mormon, and he was a great friend.

But that was twenty years ago.

If Mormons showed up now though, I know exactly what I'd do.*

It'd be based on my truest and deepest feelings.

I'd welcome them in warmly, with a gracious smile.

Offer them coffee and danish.

Oh wait... scratch the coffee...


When all have been comfortably seated, and they begin their presentation, I interrupt them, (as politely as I can, of course), and say:

"Before you begin, there is one thing I have to ask you. Is that alright?"

Hopefully they agree, seeing that I am so receptive...

"OK. So....

Marie Osmond - damn, when she was young, she was about the most fuckable pussy on the planet, don't you think, I mean, goddamn it, she had the cutest set of lips I've EVER seen, eminently ready for some serious cocksucking, don't you think, and that ASS, DAMN, that ASS, oh shit, I can see some MAJOR assfucking type sodomy there, can't you, I mean, like, SHIT, she had EVERY hole just ready for some hardcore drilling, I'm gonna fucking masturbate my cock bloody just visualizing some major facials on that babe after you leave, but now you know she's older but I still want to fuck her brains out SO bad, and I have NO way of getting in contact with her, and you guys are the first Mormons I've known in twenty years since college, and it's GOTTA be a sign from God that you showed up here tonight because it's just too coincidental don't you think, and like, can you guys put me in touch with her and say something nice about me, because I don't want to come on too strong or anything, but damn, if you could hook me up with her I'd sure as fucking hell convert to Mormonism, it's like, you already have me sold, if your religion has chicks THAT fucking hot, and Christ, she's even sings pretty good too, although it's really not my kind of music, I'm more into Satanic music right now.

So, what do you think?

Do we have a deal?"

*This may not be what I'd actually do.

I mean, if I actually said that, it'd pretty much blow my chances with Marie, don't you think?

Haha. I would love to see their faces then!

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