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#177245 - 07/11/06 08:58 PM Door to door Mormons
WolfMoon Offline


Registered: 04/03/06
Posts: 735
I normally would not do this, but today I was relaxing after work reading a book and the doorbell rang. I looked outside to see two men (Mormons) dressed rather nicely. I opened the door and they began preaching their nonsense to me. I stopped them and said "hold on I'll be right back". I came back a couple minutes later and proceeded to have a conversation with them. I figured, hell, I'm bored I might as well have some fun with this. They were preaching me their "gospel" and I came back with many questions as if I was interested. Then I started playing Devil's advocate. I figured "these assholes can come to my house and preach to me, then I will do just the same". Of course, what I offered was logical reasonings against their 'biblical authority'. I remained courteous and calm and would contradict their words with biblical quotes (that always throws them off). Using their own 'holy book' against them works the best. They kept pushing their faith and realized I wasn't buying it. They knew what I said made sense. They just could not admit it. All I know is that tonight, as they lie in bed, they will be doing something that they aren't used to : thinking. It was a gratifying experience.

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#177246 - 07/11/06 09:02 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: WolfMoon]
$lesk Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 10/29/02
Posts: 2318
Loc: Norway
Quote:

All I know is that tonight, as they lie in bed, they will be doing something that they aren't used to : thinking. It was a gratifying experience.




Nah, they'll be praying for your soul.
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#177247 - 07/11/06 09:07 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: WolfMoon]
D. Macabre Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 07/02/06
Posts: 1539
Loc: The South Bay, CA
I have always wanted to come to the door naked when they stopped by, if they ask to come in; I'll sit around naked with the AC off, I think that would keep them from coming by in the future.


Edited by Mogg (07/11/06 09:08 PM)
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#177248 - 07/11/06 09:25 PM My last answer to them [Re: D. Macabre]
Assabrah Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 01/17/05
Posts: 2062
The last time they came knocking at my door ( months ago ), I just went like :

"What??? Jesus is coming now ??! Woow wow guys you do suck now ! I only have 1 beer left in the fridge ! Couldn't you have warned me before damnit ?"

They never came back.... Damn, they tell me that and I have no drink, that's not polite at all !
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#177249 - 07/11/06 09:27 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: WolfMoon]
S_Magazine Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 05/17/06
Posts: 197
I had a pair of Mormons drop by my apartment one cold and blustery day. They were actually very courteous when I told them that I was a Satanist. Apart from making them remain outside in the cold, I was just as courteous. I didn't feel any need to try to debate with them or act in any sort of outrageous manner. I'm sure they made a note of where I live, but, in the three or four years since that visit, I haven't been paid any further visits. I actually find that odd, since the local LDS Temple is right down the street.
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#177250 - 07/11/06 09:33 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: D. Macabre]
ThaDeej Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 06/15/06
Posts: 241
Loc: Greenville, SC
I can't help but LOL...I'm reminded of the scene in "Grandma's Boy"

"Oh, I am naked! Come on in!"

That would be a riot.
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#177251 - 07/11/06 09:34 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: $lesk]
ThaDeej Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 06/15/06
Posts: 241
Loc: Greenville, SC
Agreed...it's much easier than actually doing something on their own...let alone think.


Edited by ThaDeej (07/11/06 09:35 PM)
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#177252 - 07/11/06 09:41 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: S_Magazine]
WolfMoon Offline


Registered: 04/03/06
Posts: 735
I was a little more subtle in my approach. I didn't openly affiliate myself with any religion. Towards the end, I did say something like "if my individuality aligns me with Satan, then so be it." One of them did not say another word for the next 10 minutes and looked rather nervous. The other however, kept talking. He asked me if they could return in a few days. I said "I believe we have said to eachother what we needed to, I am who I am, nothing will change that."

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#177254 - 07/11/06 10:12 PM Re: Door to door Mormons become porn stars [Re: WolfMoon]
Lust Offline


Registered: 11/02/05
Posts: 4214
This makes me want to rent the movie Orgazmo.

And Choda Boy.
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#177255 - 07/11/06 10:21 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: WolfMoon]
Viking Offline


Registered: 06/28/06
Posts: 33
Loc: Tennessee, USA,
I have had the experience of having an on-going bible study with them in my home. I wrote down everything they said, everything I said and logged which books we were reading for every sepereate meeting we had.

Mormons didn't treat Native american indians very nicely. Or mexicans either. The study lasted for 6 weeks until they came to an understanding that I was actually reading their study material and had taken the time to write down questions in a log book. They told me that they had never met anyone who kept accurate records of study meetings and complimented me alot.

Soon after the 6 weeks I was invited to one of their church meetings. I went dispite my own feelings of discust for their inability to admit the slavery of Native american indians and mexicans to work their lead mines.

They gave me their bible, their big book of interpeting their scripture, and sent elders to my home to discuss my conversion to their faith. I told them I believed in Mother earth and Father sky. And that it was rather forward of them to ask such a thing. They saw my prayer head band displayed, arrowheads and my bow. Along with pictures in my home of Wolfes and Fox's. They said I was without guidance accourding to their faith.

I asked them to leave. They came back several times, but I discouraged them from returning again. After awile they let me be.

I was told that the Mountain Meadows Massacre was from god and that they were taking their rightful land given them by god.

I didn't respond. Just said; " Let me alone. and thank you for the reading materials. "

viking
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#177256 - 07/11/06 10:26 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: WolfMoon]
The Countesss Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 57
Loc: The Makhpiyá
Well done, Brother... I simply chalk a body outline in front of my door and toss a few pamphlets about. Keeps them far from the doorbell for some odd reason!
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#177257 - 07/11/06 10:32 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: WolfMoon]
London Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 02/15/04
Posts: 965
Loc: The Inmost Dens
I used to get these weirdos knocking on my door every Saturday at around 8:30 AM. After a few weeks of this I decided that not answering the door was a failing tactic.

So next week comes around, and right on time the fundies come around. I open up and see an older woman with a young girl, probably 12 or 13. I could tell right away the kid was very embarrassed and self-conscious about being there. Probably her daughter. The woman asks "Would you like to speak with me today about Jesus?" I look her right in the eye and say, "Would I?!"

We spent the next five minutes talking about Jesus and the good book. Everytime she would bring up a point I would try my best to outdo her enthusiasm. For whatever reason, I could tell the girl knew exactly what was going on. Eventually the woman announced that she was satisfied with the situation and would like to give me some free magazines. While she was digging around in her purse I looked at the girl, rolled my eyes, and gave her the old insider's wink. The kid's demeanor changed instantly and she even let out a smile.

So now I don't get anymore visits and as an added bonus I got to feel good about helping the kid out.

I've considered playing pranks in the past, as this is a favorite pastime of mine, but I'm satisfied with the way I dealt with it.
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#177258 - 07/11/06 10:40 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: WolfMoon]
Serua Offline


Registered: 07/02/06
Posts: 22
Loc: Canada
I had door to door mormons just two days ago. lol

I tried to politely tell them no and ask them to leave four times. Finally, I said, "Look, the only way you're getting me into a church is bound and gagged." One of the filthy little buggers actually smiled and said, "I'll see you on that day."



So, then, I stopped being nice. I told them to leave immediately or I'd take that as a threat and charge them legally. lol They left.

On a funnier note, the next door neighbour couldn't get them to leave, so he said they could come back Monday. That Monday, I watched him hide in his back yard, afraid to be home because he knew "The christians are coming o.O" LOL I've haven't laughed so hard in years. A full grown man hiding in his own back yard!

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#177259 - 07/12/06 12:34 AM Re: Door to door BORmons [Re: Viking]
Ricochet_Rabbit Offline


Registered: 07/05/06
Posts: 22
Loc: Minnesota
[quote]

Mormons didn't treat Native american indians very nicely. Or mexicans either. [/quote]

Mormons believe anybody who wasn't born white sided with satan in the war in heaven. infact up untill 75'ish minorities wernt even allowed to be part of their priesthood ( the president of the church had a revelation from god that it was ok after a few lawsuits were filed ).Your also considered extra freakin' sweet if ur hair is blond and ur skin is "fair and delightsome" . Im pretty popular with mormons I meet... untill I start talking. :FIREdevil: I've deconverted a few in this way before I got bored playing with these morons er mormons. :coopdev

It bogles my mind whenever I see a minority mormon. My first thought is always ,"damn... u must have some serious self-esteem issues". I feel even more sorry for them if they're women.

[quote]

I was told that the Mountain Meadows Massacre was from god and that they were taking their rightful land given them by god.

[/quote]

hmm that's kinda funny. cause when the mormons massacred those other christian men, women and children they dressed themselves as natives. Not sure how that's supposed to be from god ,or concidered taking it back...

It's sad how amazingly dumb people can be. Frued compared religious faith to a mental illness which retards the critical thinking skills, I think he was on to something.
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"The truth is, as every one knows, that the great artists of the world are never Puritans, and seldom even ordinarily respectable. No virtuous man- that is, virtuous in the Y.M.C.A. sense- has ever painted a picture worth looking at, or written a symphony worth hearing, or a book worth reading, and it is highly improbable that the thing has ever been done by a virtuous woman." ..........H.L. Mencken " mmmmmm... sacreligious" - Homer J. Simson

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#177260 - 07/12/06 02:09 AM Re: My last answer to them [Re: Assabrah]
x9x Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 12/10/04
Posts: 958
Loc: Flanders - Europe
A couple of years ago some jehova's came knocking at my door, i opened and was wearing a mercyful fate shirt with three upside down crosses on it,looked at my shirt and said "you're not really interested in what we have to say probably", i just smiled and they just took off after i said "goodbye sirs" in a polite way. They never came back after that, i guess i'm on their list now as the devil.
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#177261 - 07/12/06 02:26 AM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: WolfMoon]
Dallas Offline


Registered: 06/11/06
Posts: 67
Loc: Utah County, Utah, US
Apparently, they came by my house late last week. My girlfriend, being the nice girl that she is. LET THEM THE FUCK IN! Although, she knows I don't want those stupid, lying, child molesting little sick fuckers in my house.

I've been hoping that they come by again while I'm home. But, I think she told them that if I caught them here I would kill them.

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#177262 - 07/12/06 06:37 AM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: WolfMoon]
newblood Offline


Registered: 07/05/06
Posts: 1
Loc: Utah
I grew up in Salt Lake City, I've had many experiences with the missionaries. We used to get stopped on our way home from school. Then if we ever saw them from a distance we would stop, turn around and go the other way, they will follow you!
now I avoid eye contact with them. they havent been to my house in about three years.
If they did I would probably spout some mumbo jumbo and make them think I put a curse on them.

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#177263 - 07/12/06 07:48 AM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: WolfMoon]
ElJago Offline


Registered: 03/01/06
Posts: 427
Loc: Northumberland, England
I think sometimes it can be fun to have discussions with the faithful of any denomination. It's always suprising how fragile their rhetoric and dogma is when questioned in a rational way.

I've read the bible a few times (it's a tad preachy but full of blood and thunder) and having a basic knowledge of its contents can be handy when having a debate or discussion with someone whos a believer.

I must say though that the few mormons that have called at my door are always polite and well mannered, Jehovahs witnesses which are more common where I live tend to be more confrontational and rude.
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Man: An animal so lost in rapturous comtemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be - Ambrose Bierce - The Devil's Dictionary.

Alice laughed. "There's no use trying," she said, "one can't believe impossible things."
"I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was younger, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." - Lewis Carroll, Through the looking glass.

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#177264 - 07/12/06 07:56 AM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: ElJago]
x9x Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 12/10/04
Posts: 958
Loc: Flanders - Europe
Be it a door to door salesman that is trying to sell his crappy vacuum cleaner or fanatics trying to sell the 'watchtower', i think it's a waste of time to go in argument with that kinda folks. As they think they're selling 'the truth'.
_________________________
He who turns the other cheek is a cowardly dog.
||.TSB Page 33.||

An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.
|| Benjamin Franklin ||

The lack of money is the root of all evil.
|| George Bernard ||



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#177265 - 07/12/06 08:37 AM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: S_Magazine]
Bill_M Offline
CoS Magister

Registered: 07/28/01
Posts: 11565
Loc: New England, USA
In my experience the Mormons, and most proselytizers in general, tend to not wait around if they known you've already made up your mind about religion. Their real target audience is the spiritually ambiguous. You could stand there and debate with them, but that would brighten their otherwise dull afternoon.
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#177266 - 07/12/06 09:24 AM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: WolfMoon]
HellofallHells Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 11/01/05
Posts: 3524
Quote:

They knew what I said made sense.




Don't count on it.
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#177267 - 07/12/06 09:58 AM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: x9x]
ThaDeej Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 06/15/06
Posts: 241
Loc: Greenville, SC
Couldn't agree more. I've never heard a more circular argument than that of an xtian and their bible being the end all truth.

"How do we know Jesus is the son of god?"
"Because he says so."
"But who is he to make that claim?"
"He is Jesus, king of kings, lord of lords, son of god!"
"Says who?"
"Jesus. In the bible."
Repeat this until one or more involved parties tires...
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"Good and Evil liveth only in men's minds," Ragnar Redbeard

www.vampiretemple.com

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#177268 - 07/12/06 01:40 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: WolfMoon]
Maya Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 04/21/05
Posts: 1447
Loc: New England
Why bother arguing with them? Once a shithead, always a shithead.

I've never had a problem with missionaries. If I did, I would deal with them in a very direct way. I would first ask them for their full names. I would then politely ask them to leave and inform them that refusal on their part would constitute trespassing and that I would immediately call the police in such a case. If they did indeed refuse to leave, I would indeed call the police. Problem solved.

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#177269 - 07/12/06 01:42 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: Maya]
Neko Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 05/05/04
Posts: 798
Exactly. There's no need to get all worked up when it's not really neccessary.
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#177270 - 07/12/06 01:45 PM Re: My last answer to them [Re: x9x]
Helliott Offline


Registered: 09/17/04
Posts: 217
Loc: VA
I would prefer to take the Baldar Conehead approach. Invite them in, say things like "What do you know of the Doom awaiting this planet?" and just generally mess with them and have fun.

Then I'd remind them that since only 144,000 people can get into heaven, their chances aren't too good, are they?

Maybe I'd even get dressed up like Lincoln.


Edited by Helliott (07/12/06 01:54 PM)
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#177271 - 07/12/06 02:13 PM Re: My last answer to them [Re: Helliott]
Assabrah Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 01/17/05
Posts: 2062
That is just funny when they knock at your door. Especially when it's young women, and you look at them on purpose like if you were suggesting another way to see a religion...A horizontal one.

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#177272 - 07/12/06 03:39 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: Neko]
Ricochet_Rabbit Offline


Registered: 07/05/06
Posts: 22
Loc: Minnesota
Quote:

Exactly. There's no need to get all worked up when it's not really neccessary.




But why not anyhow? It can be alot of fun argueing with them ( provided you use your sense of humor).And assuming you dont let yourself be suckered into listening to one of their excrusiatingly boring little diatribes( These r the worst ).


When I was a kid one side of my extended family were mostly mormons- thank me not anymore -. So more often then not I'm already in a position to ask them a sticky question before they can even finish their train of thought. I love to pretend to be enthusiastic about hearing "the truth" and put on my "friendly face". I always make sure my questions and statements seem sincere- but sticky icky none the less -. Most of these missionaries arnt really used to being asked hard questions about what they actually believe and usually just kind of filibuster untill they think Iv forgotten my question. I love to see the frustrated looks on their faces as I point out why their response to my question didnt answer the question at all and the blank looks as they try to pull some response out of their asses.... this is probably just a personal fetish of mine stemming from my childhood...still enjoyable thou.

Try asking a mormon why it is they believe black people and other non-white races are inferior to whites(gettin' down with foxy brown is damnable) and watch their faces blush. Then follow up with ," what about shack?... jesse jackson?.... michael jackson?... does he count? ".

But like everything, this gets boring after a while. And then I just tell them sternly and matter-of-factly ,"no, I'm deffinetly not interested" and tell them to leave and not come back ( if by this point they havent invited themselves to do so already). This sudden change in demeanor usually serves as an extra kick in the pants to these guys who believed you were more or less "hooked".

for risk of severely decreasing your I.Q. dont come in contact with these people too often... It's a dangerous game.

I'm not completly sure I'm winning
_________________________
"The truth is, as every one knows, that the great artists of the world are never Puritans, and seldom even ordinarily respectable. No virtuous man- that is, virtuous in the Y.M.C.A. sense- has ever painted a picture worth looking at, or written a symphony worth hearing, or a book worth reading, and it is highly improbable that the thing has ever been done by a virtuous woman." ..........H.L. Mencken " mmmmmm... sacreligious" - Homer J. Simson

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#177273 - 07/12/06 04:51 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: Ricochet_Rabbit]
ModernTantalus Offline


Registered: 05/05/06
Posts: 325
I had a friend who had left the Mormon church and was feeling guilty about it. Still had some clingings of faith. Then I pointed something out that floored him first, and made him feel instantly better once the shock had warn off. The book of Morman is written in King James english. Think about that a second. Why would a man who was barely literate translate a book of the Bible given to him by God into King James english in the late 1800's? Wouldn't it make more sense to translate it into the english that he and everyone else were familiar with. He also lays on the King James english whenever the text starts getting too plain and straight forward, a very obvious attempt to make it easier to swallow by people who were already reading the Bible. It had a psychological effect that just made it "feel right" to other Christians. Whenever I help someone completely shed the chains of any particular faith I feel a great sense of accomplishment. After all, what could be more Satanic than destroying faith with the light of reason?

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#177274 - 07/12/06 06:46 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: Maya]
WolfMoon Offline


Registered: 04/03/06
Posts: 735
Well, like I said, it was entertaining at best. It wasn't really an argument, more of a discussion. Also, this way I know they will not be back. I wasn't all fired up about it. It was worth it just for the laugh.

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#177275 - 07/12/06 07:46 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: Quaark]
WolfMoon Offline


Registered: 04/03/06
Posts: 735
Quote:

I have never had a door-to-door Mormon anywhere I've lived.

I've really only known one Mormon, and he was a great friend.

But that was twenty years ago.

If Mormons showed up now though, I know exactly what I'd do.*

It'd be based on my truest and deepest feelings.

I'd welcome them in warmly, with a gracious smile.

Offer them coffee and danish.

Oh wait... scratch the coffee...



Anyway...

When all have been comfortably seated, and they begin their presentation, I interrupt them, (as politely as I can, of course), and say:

"Before you begin, there is one thing I have to ask you. Is that alright?"

Hopefully they agree, seeing that I am so receptive...

"OK. So....

Marie Osmond - damn, when she was young, she was about the most fuckable pussy on the planet, don't you think, I mean, goddamn it, she had the cutest set of lips I've EVER seen, eminently ready for some serious cocksucking, don't you think, and that ASS, DAMN, that ASS, oh shit, I can see some MAJOR assfucking type sodomy there, can't you, I mean, like, SHIT, she had EVERY hole just ready for some hardcore drilling, I'm gonna fucking masturbate my cock bloody just visualizing some major facials on that babe after you leave, but now you know she's older but I still want to fuck her brains out SO bad, and I have NO way of getting in contact with her, and you guys are the first Mormons I've known in twenty years since college, and it's GOTTA be a sign from God that you showed up here tonight because it's just too coincidental don't you think, and like, can you guys put me in touch with her and say something nice about me, because I don't want to come on too strong or anything, but damn, if you could hook me up with her I'd sure as fucking hell convert to Mormonism, it's like, you already have me sold, if your religion has chicks THAT fucking hot, and Christ, she's even sings pretty good too, although it's really not my kind of music, I'm more into Satanic music right now.

So, what do you think?

Do we have a deal?"



*This may not be what I'd actually do.

I mean, if I actually said that, it'd pretty much blow my chances with Marie, don't you think?







Haha. I would love to see their faces then!

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#177276 - 07/12/06 07:47 PM Should drug dealers come to your house [Re: WolfMoon]
Myster_Tale Offline


Registered: 06/17/06
Posts: 95
Loc: Israel
Would you engage in long debates with them on why not to take drugs?

Opium for the masses, my friend, opium for the masses...

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#177277 - 07/12/06 07:49 PM Re: Should drug dealers come to your house [Re: Myster_Tale]
WolfMoon Offline


Registered: 04/03/06
Posts: 735
I understand. But some of you are missing my point. It was entertaining and a good laugh.

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#177278 - 07/12/06 07:53 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: Quaark]
Myster_Tale Offline


Registered: 06/17/06
Posts: 95
Loc: Israel
I don't get any Mormons around here, but would you mind if I used that anyway?

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#177279 - 07/12/06 08:10 PM Re: Should drug dealers come to your house [Re: WolfMoon]
ModernTantalus Offline


Registered: 05/05/06
Posts: 325
I get your point entirely. I love debating with religious people, Christians in particular. As posted in another thread, I'm a Sadomasochist, and LaVey, in his deeply insightful exploration of subconcious psychology, revealed that many things we do and enjoy can be linked to our fetishes. I find that arguing with those of religious faith irritates me to no end, satisfying my inner masochist. At the same time, the idea that I may have shaken their faith and put them in a deep state of spiritual discomfort satisfies my sadistic side. LaVeyan psychology at its best.

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#177280 - 07/12/06 08:29 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: WolfMoon]
CWH Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 04/23/05
Posts: 3746
I was in the 7 day store on base with my wife and little girl last Friday evening in order to rent a few movies from the horrible selection they carry.

We were on our way to the cashier after stopping by the liquor section to pick up a bottle of Jack Daniels and a young man about 18 or 19 stepped in front of me, blocking my way.

He said, "Excuse me, sir, would you like to attend a church ser....." He stopped himself when he noticed the Baphomet hanging on my chest.

I smiled and politely declined saying "I don't think so. But thank you." I waited for him to move out of my way and we walked passed him.

My wife on the other hand HATES to be bothered by "missionaires" She normally is very rude to them. Seeing that the situation was handled, she kept her comments to her self.

That was the first time in a very long time some one had bothered me or tried to invite me to a service, so I wasn't upset, but rather amused at him for not even attempting to finish his invite.

The way I handle a scenario depends on my mood and exactly how they approach me at the time and it also depends how they re-act towards me once they have been rejected.

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#177281 - 07/12/06 11:07 PM Re: Should drug dealers come to your house [Re: ModernTantalus]
Ricochet_Rabbit Offline


Registered: 07/05/06
Posts: 22
Loc: Minnesota
uhh... what tantalus said.

I also understand myster tale, but the fact is... drug dealers don't come to my house. But depending on the drug i may very well mock them. And anyway I dont think I'd necessarly be against the idea of drug dealers coming to my house , at least they sell something tangible -alot of things are drugs if you think about it; who drinks coke?-.
_________________________
"The truth is, as every one knows, that the great artists of the world are never Puritans, and seldom even ordinarily respectable. No virtuous man- that is, virtuous in the Y.M.C.A. sense- has ever painted a picture worth looking at, or written a symphony worth hearing, or a book worth reading, and it is highly improbable that the thing has ever been done by a virtuous woman." ..........H.L. Mencken " mmmmmm... sacreligious" - Homer J. Simson

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#177282 - 07/13/06 11:01 AM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: CWH]
DarkWater Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 07/15/05
Posts: 784
Loc: SinCity
Quote:

He said, "Excuse me, sir, would you like to attend a church ser....." He stopped himself when he noticed the Baphomet hanging on my chest.

I smiled and politely declined saying "I don't think so. But thank you." I waited for him to move out of my way and we walked passed him.



I had a similar experience a few days ago. I had just climbed on my Harley, its somewhat obnoxiously loud pipes singing their song, when a pretty little thing walked up and invited me to attend a special conference. As she reached to hand me a pamphlet, I noticed that she was a Jehovah's Witness. I kindly declined the pamphlet, explaining I was about to ride off. I also told her I would not be attending the conference but thanked her for the offer.

I have never before thanked a missionary for interrupting my life. But, as I mentioned, she was a pretty little thing.


Moral of the story: To all those who wish to save my soul, please don't bother. But if you must, send beautiful messengers. Granted, I care nothing for the message, but this does not mean I cannot appreciate its deliverers!


DarkWater


p.s. The only Satanic emblem visible during that encounter was the 4" Baphomet sticker -- courtesy of the CoS Emporium -- on the back of my helmet, a sight she likely saw only as I rode away.

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#177283 - 07/13/06 12:22 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: Ricochet_Rabbit]
TrojZyr Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 07/25/01
Posts: 12990
Loc: The Solid State
Yeah, it is rather fun and enlightening to ask religionists the tough questions. I personally like to ask evangelical Christians about people who are born intersexed or hermaphroditic---Why did god do that? Are they male or female? Straight or gay? Who can they marry? Are they allowed to get surgery to fix it?

Does the Mormon church still officially think those things about other races? I know they like to proselytize in other countries, especially in the Pacific Islands, so there's a bit of a potential sticky wicket here. Got any good scandalous quotes from the Book of Mormon?

For the most part, though, as long as they don't get cheeky, rude, or presumptuous with me, I usually don't get cheeky or rude with them.
_________________________
"Gentlemen, the verdict is guilty, on all ten counts of first-degree stupidity. The penalty phase will now begin."--Divine, "Pink Flamingos."

"The strong rule the weak, and the cunning rule over all." HS!

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#177284 - 07/13/06 01:48 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: TrojZyr]
Catalyst Offline
Banned

Registered: 03/13/06
Posts: 792
Loc: Atwater, Ohio
I love debating with religionists. They are so predictable in most cases that it has almost become second nature in judging what is next and shooting it down or at the very least bringing up a counterpoint for them to further linger on. I have this one girl, a very beautiful thing, pity shes a christain, but anyway, she still calls me from time to time with more questions that she has "researched and thought about for a while". While most may disagree that this would ever happen, she has become a different person, and almost obviously close to renouncing her faith completely! I love it!
_________________________
catalyst4201@yahoo.com
Catalyst

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#177285 - 07/13/06 05:12 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: TrojZyr]
Ricochet_Rabbit Offline


Registered: 07/05/06
Posts: 22
Loc: Minnesota
Quote:



Does the Mormon church still officially think those things about other races? I know they like to proselytize in other countries, especially in the Pacific Islands, so there's a bit of a potential sticky wicket here. Got any good scandalous quotes from the Book of Mormon?





It's still in there but they dont actively preach that- The mark of cain means your black(so is the devil), native americans got turned red after they stopped following the prophet and later, conveniently killed all the white blue-eyed native americans. I'm not exaclty sure what the problem is with asians.

Most mormons are very careful not to talk about most of this stuff untill after your converted.

As for quotes;far too many... these are only a few examples on a list a mile long. Most of these are from the journal of discourses. Which is found in the back of most books of mormon.



Quote:


Shall I tell you the law of God in regard to the African race? If the white man who belongs to the chosen seed mixes his blood with the seed of Cain, the penalty, under the law of God, is death on the spot. This will always be so.

Author: Brigham Young
Source: Journal Of Discourses




woops... guess I'm goin to hell ... it was worth it

Quote:

God is in the still small voice. In all these affidavits, indictments, it is all of the devil—all corruption. Come on! ye prosecutors! ye false swearers! All hell, boil over! Ye burning mountains, roll down your lava! for I will come out on the top at last. I have more to boast of than ever any man had. I am the only man that has ever been able to keep a whole church together since the days of Adam. A large majority of the whole have stood by me. Neither Paul, John, Peter, nor Jesus ever did it. I boast that no man ever did such a work as I. The followers of Jesus ran away from Him; but the Latter-day Saints never ran away from me yet. You know my daily walk and conversation. I am in the bosom of a virtuous and good people. How I do love to hear the wolves howl! When they can get rid of me, the devil will also go.

Author: Joseph Smith
Source: History Of The Church
Volume: 6
Chapter: 12
Page: 408-409






Here's a particularly crazy one... not really sure what he was trying to convey at the end there- besides the obvious message of him being THE shit.

Joseph smith also said that there are inhabitants on the moon who dress like quakers and can live to be around 1000 years old.

uhhh... brain...stupidifying...

Im done with this... my mental masochism has limits.
_________________________
"The truth is, as every one knows, that the great artists of the world are never Puritans, and seldom even ordinarily respectable. No virtuous man- that is, virtuous in the Y.M.C.A. sense- has ever painted a picture worth looking at, or written a symphony worth hearing, or a book worth reading, and it is highly improbable that the thing has ever been done by a virtuous woman." ..........H.L. Mencken " mmmmmm... sacreligious" - Homer J. Simson

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#177286 - 07/13/06 05:19 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: DarkWater]
CWH Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 04/23/05
Posts: 3746
You should have given her a counter offer and invited her to hop on your hog!


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#177287 - 07/13/06 05:55 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: TrojZyr]
Mile_Highlander Offline


Registered: 03/16/06
Posts: 224
Quote:

Does the Mormon church still officially think those things about other races?




Being a former LDS member, I was going to stay out of this discussion. But what the heck, I'll chime in anyway....

It's difficult to say what exactly "the Mormons" believe as there are many different sects within that religion. But for the most part, the main branch of the Mormon church (headquartered in Salt Lake City, Utah) does not teach that black people and other "non-white" races are cursed -> anymore.
They were cursed at one time because of their disobidience to god. The reminder to everyone is of course the different skin colors. There are many blacks today in the LDS church who believe that their ancestors were "wicked" and that is why they carry the mark of Cain now. Mormons do have a teaching similar to Karma as well.
At first, the Mormons only allowed whites to join their church. Then they allowed "non-whites" to join, but these men could not hold the preisthood and non-whites (man or woman) could not enter the temples. In the 70's the church found themselves in a bad situation - Racism was not good P.R. and the fact that membership in the church had grown considerably in South America, the Phillipines and Pacific Island countries. While this brought in much tithing money, it left large congregations around the world without any leadership (see above), not to mention seething with resentment.
So one day, a "president" of the church received a glorius revelation from god that it was OKAY to allow non-whites into the preisthood and all has been well ever since.

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#177288 - 07/13/06 06:12 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: Mile_Highlander]
TrojZyr Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 07/25/01
Posts: 12990
Loc: The Solid State
How nice of "god" to change his mind.

Oh well, at least they still have gays, or they'd have no one to bash, I mean, er, provide tough love to.,
_________________________
"Gentlemen, the verdict is guilty, on all ten counts of first-degree stupidity. The penalty phase will now begin."--Divine, "Pink Flamingos."

"The strong rule the weak, and the cunning rule over all." HS!

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#177289 - 07/13/06 06:27 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: WolfMoon]
Lust Offline


Registered: 11/02/05
Posts: 4214
I have personally never met any door to door Mormon's. I have seen them on their bikes, and walking around.
I find it funny that so many of these people believe that The Book Of Mormon is an ancient text, 600 BC I think is what Joseph Smith claimed it too be.
Blatant in the Book Of Mormon Is the use of chiasmus in inverted grammar, which I would say discredits his claim.
I would also say that Joseph Smith was the sole author of The Book of Mormon.
This guy was one Hell of a Salesman.


Edited by Tier_Instinct (07/13/06 07:07 PM)
_________________________
�Love is one of the most intense feelings felt by man; another is hate. Forcing yourself to feel indiscriminate love is very unnatural. If you try to love everyone you only lessen your feelings for those who deserve your love. Repressed hatred can lead to many physical and emotional aliments. By learning to release your hatred towards those who deserve it, you cleanse yourself of these malignant emotions and need not take your pent-up hatred out on your loved ones.�
Anton Szandor LaVey, The Satanic Bible

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#177290 - 07/13/06 06:44 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: ModernTantalus]
Nogitsune Offline


Registered: 08/13/03
Posts: 85
Loc: N. Region of the W. World
Quote:

After all, what could be more Satanic than destroying faith with the light of reason?




That's a fairly easy question.

Getting something of value to you in the process, be it money, or something else. That way, unreason is rooted out, and you benefit for your troubles. Tis a win win.
_________________________
Within the eye of the storm of conformity, creativity runs rampant. The key then, is to surround yourself with the shaven fools if one is to truly be free. -Nogi The death rate on Earth is: .... (computing) .... One per person.

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#177291 - 07/13/06 06:47 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: Lust]
Helliott Offline


Registered: 09/17/04
Posts: 217
Loc: VA
I learned all I need to know about Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon from watching South Park.

It's perplexing to me why people believe that sci- fi garbage.

"Joseph Smith was called a prophet, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum"


Edited by Helliott (07/13/06 06:49 PM)
_________________________
"I come from hell, presently, to take you there!" -Edward "Blackbeard" Teach "You can't spell Slaughter without Laughter!" "What must one do to become blessed? That I do not know, but I say to you: 'Be Blessed, and then do whatever you please." -Friedrich Nietzsche

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#177292 - 07/14/06 08:52 AM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: CWH]
DarkWater Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 07/15/05
Posts: 784
Loc: SinCity
Quote:

You should have given her a counter offer and invited her to hop on your hog!



Don't think the thought failed to pass my mind. But there is a problem. I've got this saddle on my bike. It looks and feels great, but it only seats one ass at a time. She'd scratch the paint if she rode on the fender, and she wasn't worth that. Likewise, she'd cause me to crash if she rode on the tank or handlebars. This, too, would likely lead to scratched paint, and as I already said, she wasn't worth that. Gotta have priorities, my friend. Sometimes Harletta comes first.


DarkWater

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#177293 - 07/14/06 07:49 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: DarkWater]
CWH Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 04/23/05
Posts: 3746
Quote:

Sometimes Harletta comes first.




Completely understood!

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#177294 - 07/15/06 02:03 AM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: DarkWater]
Ricochet_Rabbit Offline


Registered: 07/05/06
Posts: 22
Loc: Minnesota
Quote:


Don't think the thought failed to pass my mind.




That sounds like a cop-put
_________________________
"The truth is, as every one knows, that the great artists of the world are never Puritans, and seldom even ordinarily respectable. No virtuous man- that is, virtuous in the Y.M.C.A. sense- has ever painted a picture worth looking at, or written a symphony worth hearing, or a book worth reading, and it is highly improbable that the thing has ever been done by a virtuous woman." ..........H.L. Mencken " mmmmmm... sacreligious" - Homer J. Simson

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#177295 - 07/15/06 07:30 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: ThaDeej]
Biff Offline


Registered: 06/20/06
Posts: 370
Loc: Hong Kong, SAR
Ever tried to play it crazy with wholesale religionists and salesman? Its quite fun really, I once greeted a salesman with 'Greetings, my child'. That salesman must have had ironballs because he went on with his sales pitch and eventually I had to play it polite....
_________________________
'Carpe diem quam minimum credulo postero' - Horace

'It's only hubris, if I fail.' - Caesar (HBO's Rome)

HAIL SATAN!

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#177296 - 07/15/06 10:50 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: DarkWater]
Roho_the_Rooster Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 03/10/05
Posts: 6999
Loc: Pre-Apocalypolis
Quote:

Quote:

You should have given her a counter offer and invited her to hop on your hog!



Don't think the thought failed to pass my mind. But there is a problem. I've got this saddle on my bike.




She could have sat on your lap.
_________________________
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/clickToGive/home.faces

http://theepicureandilettante.blogspot.com/

"Life is the only race you lose by reaching the end." - M.M.

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#177297 - 07/17/06 09:11 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: Maya]
tapasia Offline


Registered: 07/16/06
Posts: 11
Tee hee...I think my new policy for having fun with these people will be to say "I'd love to talk to you, but I'll need some of your hair first."

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#177298 - 07/17/06 09:17 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: TrojZyr]
tapasia Offline


Registered: 07/16/06
Posts: 11
A fave of mine, also with the bonus of disgust factor, is "Hey, did you know it turns out we have a gene that keeps us immune from a disease we can only get from eating other humans' brains?" I like this for when the discussion comes around to creationism vs. evolution, and I use it to justify to xtains my practice of eating brains. God obviosly intended it.

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#177299 - 07/19/06 10:06 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: WolfMoon]
DickSteele Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 1411
Oh! This is one of my favorites indeed! When Mormons come to my house I am polite and courteous however after they state why they are visiting, I tell say "No thanks, I have a religion". Of course they then ask me what it is, and I tell them. I discuss some of the main principles and they go about there way. Nice folks just terribly disillusioned.
On that same note, when I arrived in Los Angeles for the 666 event, I was approached by a Hare Krishna? He explained a little and vaguely about what he was doing, presented his books (that I had read a bit of over a decade ago) and I told him that I had a religion. I explained some of the principles and mentioned the psychology of it, also mentioning some Freud, Jung and some philosophers. He then presented another book with chapters in them about those people. I wasn't impressed. I told him that I knew where to find that information and that I had been studying the very same thing in college. He was a little persistent and then asked me for a donation, even after I wouldn't take the books! After he asked for the donation I said "what for?", he walked away.

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#177300 - 07/20/06 11:25 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: DickSteele]
WolfMoon Offline


Registered: 04/03/06
Posts: 735
It seems some people feel you must support their cause even if you don't affiliate with them. They assume you might still succumb to some form of gullibility, or more simply, stupidity.

If I do not agree with your cause I do not support it. Period. Get it through your head!

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#177301 - 07/21/06 12:41 AM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: Helliott]
Buffy Offline


Registered: 03/14/06
Posts: 68
Loc: Mackay- Australia
LMAO! I saw that episode too. Most entertaining.
_________________________
Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment.

The most successful people are those who are good at plan B.

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#177302 - 09/17/06 02:54 PM Re: Door to door Mormons *DELETED* *DELETED* [Re: WolfMoon]
Verity Offline


Registered: 09/10/06
Posts: 2
Post deleted by Phaere


Edited by Phaere (09/17/06 03:43 PM)

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#177303 - 09/17/06 03:40 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: Verity]
WolfMoon Offline


Registered: 04/03/06
Posts: 735
Perhaps you should go back and read my posts in this thread and you will find your answers.

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#177304 - 09/17/06 03:52 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: Verity]
Phineas Offline
CoS Magister

Registered: 08/16/06
Posts: 8274
Everything you stated here applies to you. Perhaps it is time to practice what you preach, young one.
_________________________
"Consensus is the absence of leadership." Margaret Thatcher

"I'm fascinated with how primitive the human mind still is. It can be misdirected so easily." John Gaughan


"Success is uncommon. Therefore, not to be enjoyed by the common man." Cal Stoll

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#177305 - 09/17/06 08:23 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: WolfMoon]
Asmedious Offline


Registered: 09/07/01
Posts: 617
Alas, I am deeply saddened, for Mormons never ask me to come out and play.

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#177306 - 09/18/06 03:04 AM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: DarkWater]
Xsel Offline


Registered: 08/20/06
Posts: 9
Loc: Finland
I had some similar experiences during last winter. I personally don't have awnything against these pests but they can be a pain in the backside.

When I was still living in my old house last year there were these two Jehovah's Witneses going around the neighbourhood every month or so and everytime they rang my doorbell i was stupid enough to open the door. They started preaching me how their god was the only valid one. There was only slight problem because they were these two elderly men. Very nice seeming fellows so I didn't want to be too rude to them. After a while i moved my bookshelf so that you could see it through the window. I made sure that foremost visible was The Satanic Bible. Hence no more annoying preachers.
_________________________
Pain is the reason you know you are alive.

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#177307 - 09/18/06 03:44 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: WolfMoon]
Callier Offline

CoS Warlock

Registered: 08/30/06
Posts: 2210
When I lived with my mom when I was young, my mother wouldn't let me pull pranks on Jehovah's Witnesses. We either didn't answer the door or she would go out and tell them "No thanks!"

It got to the point where they would skip our house.

Although there was a weird mid-aged woman that lived across the street from us. She never walked or drove. Just rode on skates.

One morning some JW's stopped by at her house. The woman answered the door and had let them in. They were in the house for a good two hours. My mother and I were wondering what the hell was going on in there.

The woman killed herself the following week.

HS!
_________________________
$$$ Get Rich or Die Tryin' $$$

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#177308 - 09/18/06 05:04 PM Invite them in... [Re: WolfMoon]
Nidhogg Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 06/18/06
Posts: 344
Loc: Alberta, Canada
... and then hook 'em up with Amway.
_________________________
fka Thyrn

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#177309 - 09/18/06 05:13 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: WolfMoon]
Felstorm Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 10/27/03
Posts: 1474
Loc: Minnesota.
The easiest way to get rid of missionaries is to agree to listen to their religious speil only if they do so while engaged in totally non-committant sexual acts.

"I'll listen to your story about Jesus and the Indians while you suck my dick." ~ Me.
_________________________
"Many people would sooner die than think - in fact, they do so." ~ Bertrand Russell

"“Let the future tell the truth, and evaluate each one according to his work and accomplishments. The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine.” ~ Nikola Tesla

Are You One of Us?

The Glorious Infernal Empire

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#177310 - 09/18/06 05:36 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: Felstorm]
Shade Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 07/08/06
Posts: 6135
Loc: A Trailer Park
Er, "speaking in tongues"? Sorry.... For some reason this reminded me of the opening scene of Fight Club,

With a gun barrel between your teeth,
you speak only in vowels


Because I honestly think the possibility exists that an occasional missionary would happily take you up on your offer.... ... You know... "for god's sake."

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#177311 - 09/18/06 05:50 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: Felstorm]
Callier Offline

CoS Warlock

Registered: 08/30/06
Posts: 2210
Quote:



"I'll listen to your story about Jesus and the Indians while you suck my dick." ~ Me.




I guess that's their way of making it "Awake".


HS!
_________________________
$$$ Get Rich or Die Tryin' $$$

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#177312 - 09/18/06 07:18 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: Felstorm]
WolfMoon Offline


Registered: 04/03/06
Posts: 735
Quote:

The easiest way to get rid of missionaries is to agree to listen to their religious speil only if they do so while engaged in totally non-committant sexual acts.

"I'll listen to your story about Jesus and the Indians while you suck my dick." ~ Me.




Ha!

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#177313 - 09/19/06 05:20 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: Felstorm]
Mr Sam Offline


Registered: 07/18/06
Posts: 776
Loc: Somewhere in the UK.
Quote:

The easiest way to get rid of missionaries is to agree to listen to their religious speil only if they do so while engaged in totally non-committant sexual acts.

"I'll listen to your story about Jesus and the Indians while you suck my dick." ~ Me.




A real win/win situation .

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#177314 - 09/20/06 05:48 PM Re: My last answer to them [Re: Assabrah]
Stev2 Offline


Registered: 03/24/05
Posts: 183
That would be an entertaining goal!
_________________________

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#177315 - 09/21/06 11:50 PM Re: Door to door Mormons [Re: WolfMoon]
SultrySorceress Offline


Registered: 09/20/06
Posts: 28
Quote:

Then I started playing Devil's advocate. I figured "these assholes can come to my house and preach to me, then I will do just the same". Of course, what I offered was logical reasonings against their 'biblical authority'. I remained courteous and calm and would contradict their words with biblical quotes (that always throws them off). Using their own 'holy book' against them works the best. They kept pushing their faith and realized I wasn't buying it. They knew what I said made sense. They just could not admit it. All I know is that tonight, as they lie in bed, they will be doing something that they aren't used to : thinking. It was a gratifying experience.




I've done the same thing before...it is so much fun to see the look on their face when they can't explain their own "bible"! I've been brow beat with the "cristain bible" since I was old enough to walk...so I know their "bible" probably better than they do. If I stumped them to bad with a contradicting question they would tell me that I needed to get "saved real good" and then "pray and ask god about it." LOL!! What a JOKE!!

HS!
_________________________
Sultry Sorceress

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