#188833 - 09/17/06 10:16 PM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Charlotte]
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CoS Member
Registered: 02/11/05
Posts: 2153
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Quote:
Or should I work within the bounds of what comes naturally to me, and turn it to my advantage?
 I would recommend reading The Satanic Witch by Anton LaVey - it will help tremendously.
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#188835 - 09/17/06 10:18 PM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Charlotte]
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CoS Warlock
Registered: 11/02/05
Posts: 4199
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I would go with the latter. The trick is to work with nature not against it.
_________________________
“Love is one of the most intense feelings felt by man; another is hate. Forcing yourself to feel indiscriminate love is very unnatural. If you try to love everyone you only lessen your feelings for those who deserve your love. Repressed hatred can lead to many physical and emotional aliments. By learning to release your hatred towards those who deserve it, you cleanse yourself of these malignant emotions and need not take your pent-up hatred out on your loved ones.”
Anton Szandor LaVey, The Satanic Bible
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#188837 - 09/17/06 10:21 PM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Enchantress]
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Registered: 12/06/05
Posts: 66
Loc: California
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Enchantress, thanks for the suggestion. I have read the Satanic Witch, but I haven't perused it for a while. Perhaps it is time for a refresher.
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#188839 - 09/17/06 10:26 PM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Charlotte]
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CoS Member
Registered: 07/06/05
Posts: 2785
Loc: America
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No, now is the time to start studying it. Purusing it twice will do you just as much good as purusing it once.
_________________________
"If a man empties his purse into his head no one can take it away from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest." -Benjamin Franklin
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#188840 - 09/17/06 10:27 PM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Lust]
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Registered: 12/06/05
Posts: 66
Loc: California
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Quote:
I would go with the latter. The trick is to work with nature not against it.
Philosophically, I lean toward this perspective, but admittedly have a hard time putting it into practice. Would you be so kind as to furnish a hypothetical situation in which this principle could be demonstrated?
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#188841 - 09/17/06 10:29 PM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Jack_Lantern]
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Registered: 12/06/05
Posts: 66
Loc: California
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Um, actually I have read it numerous times. What I meant was that perhaps I would benefit by perusing it again, since I had not done so in a while.
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#188842 - 09/17/06 11:18 PM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Charlotte]
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Registered: 09/07/01
Posts: 617
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Quote:
By nature, I am very easygoing and polite to a fault. I would rather concede an argument to another person than get into a big messy row.
There is nothing wrong with being pleasant, and not wasting time arguing with people. If you have nothing to lose by conceding, then it's a waste of time to argue anyway.
Quote:
The problem is, people perceive me as fragile, submissive, and ultra-feminine.
Their perception, does not have to be your reality. You might even be able to use their misperception to your advantage.
Quote:
I get tired of people attempting to take advantage of me or use me as a doormat.
The key word here is "Attempting." An attempt does not mean success. I would suggest that you do your best not to place yourself into a situation where they can "get a foot in the door" in the first place, that can give them the opportunity to take advantage of your good nature. Since you have not given an example of how they attempt to take advantage of you, it is difficult to give you an example of how to avoid giving them the opportunity. However, if you are talking about "Psychic Vampires" the best way to avoid being used by them, is to avoid being around them if possible. Sometimes it is easier to get this blood suckers to back off gradually, by making smaller affirmations at first. For example if they call you on the phone all the time, get caller ID, and don't answer their calls often. If they try to borrow funds, let it be known that you do not have any. If they try to impose on your hospitality, make yourself unavailable, or have a previous engagement for the time they wish to visit. Learn to lie if you have to. It's all about self preservation, even if just in a psychological sense.
Quote:
I am also very sensitive, and my feelings are easily hurt.
Others do not hurt our feeling. We are the only ones who can hurt our feelings by what we tell ourselves about a certain situation. For example, if someone says that we are useless, it does not make us so. Those are only words, but if we let the words affect us, then we might feel that they are right. If I may, I would like to suggest that you research "Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy" also known as R.E.B.T, by Dr. Albert Ellis. He has some very good ways of dealing with feelings, and our perceptions and reactions to them.
Quote:
My question is, should I change my personality, and to what degree? Or should I work within the bounds of what comes naturally to me, and turn it to my advantage?
I have doubts about our ability to change our personalities. We can disguise them, or pretend to be different then we are, but eventually, our true selves always seem to come out in the end. However, habits can be altered or changed. Other peoples reaction to us can be manipulated and controlled. The main idea is to not others pull our strings. The martial art known as Aikido comes to mind. The practitioners of this fighting art learn to use their opponents force and momentum against them. With study, practice and at first "baby steps" the same can be achieved with other peoples forceful personality and their intrusiveness. However it cannot be learned over night. Fighting off manipulation takes practice and patience. If you attempt to make drastic changes too fast, the psychic vampires will push back hard and will likely win. They have years of experience in manipulation, so the best way to thwart their efforts, is to do it in a way, where they don't even realize that you are taking back control. Start out with small things at first, perhaps one thing at a time, but be consistent, and once you are making headway, do not back track.
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#188845 - 09/18/06 12:49 AM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Asmedious]
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Registered: 09/09/06
Posts: 26
Loc: New York
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I think Asmedious made very informative statements, I took particular interest in the reference to Aikido. I myself study Jeet Kune Do which is the style developed by Sifu Bruce Lee. In one of his writings and also in interviews he would like to mention water. Water is a good example because of its versatility, for example... water can become ice, just as vapor can become water. In this sense you can relate in the way that change is possible but you cant skip steps, you must go through phases ie. ice to water to vapor. Another way water was used is in its opposing nature, water can be a terrible force harder than stone and taller than buildings. A wave can wipe away an entire village, an avalanche can do the same. But in the same instance water helps give life, it helps plants and food grow, it cleanses our systems. But through this you can see water changes and adapts but you can never make it do something against its nature, it will only do so much. You cant make ice with fire. Hopefully if you are still reading I apologize for the length of that example but it helps solidify my intention when I say, you have to treat each situation differently but remember that even though each path is seperate your destination is the same. 
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#188846 - 09/18/06 02:59 AM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Charlotte]
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CoS Priest
Registered: 08/06/01
Posts: 2108
Loc: Florida
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Being easygoing and polite is one thing. Being a doormat is something else entirely.
Learn the difference.
_________________________
Everyone is special in their own way, and by "special" I mean the short-bus variety.
"Recognize the phrase 'national interest' as a synonym for 'self-interest' and you will find no moral obstacle that cannot be removed from the highway of ambition."
-Lewis Lapham
"The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter."
-Winston Churchill
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#188847 - 09/18/06 06:31 AM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Charlotte]
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CoS Member
Registered: 12/22/04
Posts: 1546
Loc: Virginia
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If you have the time to do some reading, two other books that might help in addition to The Satanic Witch are, Robert Greene's The 48 Laws of Power and The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense by Suzette Haden Elgin. I would also quote Magister Nemo here, "When you stop feeling any need to justify your existence to anyone else, that is when you have truly accepted yourself as your own god." Wrap your mind around that.    Hail Satan!
_________________________
"It does take an exceptional mind and a still more exceptional integrity to remain untouched by the brain-destroying influences of the world's doctrines, the accumulated evil of the centuries-to remain human, since the human is the rational." Dr. Akston in Atlas Shrugged"Not life, but good life, is to be chiefly valued." Socrates Dragondancer Temple of Vampire
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#188848 - 09/18/06 07:01 AM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Charlotte]
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Registered: 08/17/06
Posts: 100
Loc: Cleveland, Ohio, USA
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You're not being nice, you're being afraid.
Taking a stand and not allowing people to walk all over you does not require a personality change. You just have to use your backbone. But first you have to overcome your fear. I know a girl who is just like you in this way, and I realize how hard it is to do, but it's as simple as that.
_________________________
- EVILDORK
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#188849 - 09/18/06 12:57 PM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Charlotte]
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CoS Member
Registered: 09/09/02
Posts: 1473
Loc: Chicago, IL USA
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There's nothing contradictory about a submissive Satanist. Not everyone is a take-charge go-getter twelve-o'clock personality, and no one says you have to be the leader of every situation. If you're happy letting someone else take the alpha role, then there's no point in making yourself miserable by engaging in pointless one-upmanship.
Even taking the submissive streak to the extreme, such as is found in a BDSM lifestyle slave, can still be perfectly Satanic, so long as they're in it for the right reasons. I've known a few of these slaves, and I can tell you it takes considerable self-knowledge and reserves of inner strength for them to keep to their chosen lifestyle. "Submissive" does not automatically equal "weak".
If, as you say, you find your reputation is getting a bit too "doormatty", then I can only echo what everyone else has said and refer you back to The Satanic Witch. Do not try to "change your personality". You just need to tweak your reputation a bit. With judicious use of the techniques in TSW, you can easily start to give the impression that sure, you're soft on the outside, but it would be a Very Bad Idea to try to push you too far.
-Chess
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#188850 - 09/18/06 09:49 PM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Asmedious]
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CoS Magistra
Registered: 12/17/02
Posts: 1993
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Quote:
Quote:
I am also very sensitive, and my feelings are easily hurt.
Others do not hurt our feeling. We are the only ones who can hurt our feelings by what we tell ourselves about a certain situation. For example, if someone says that we are useless, it does not make us so. Those are only words, but if we let the words affect us, then we might feel that they are right. If I may, I would like to suggest that you research "Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy" also known as R.E.B.T, by Dr. Albert Ellis. He has some very good ways of dealing with feelings, and our perceptions and reactions to them.
I am in definite agreement here. Dr Ellis writes very clearly, especially in Guide to Rational Living, which is written for the general public rather than for other therapists. I really enjoy his ascerbic style.
Regardless of what one considers the personality to be, some of one's behaviors are more useful than others. One can modify these behaviors -- some more easily than others, of course.
Charlotte, this can be a lot of fun -- start with small issues for practice. You are stronger than you think! 
_________________________
Isabel
CoS Magistra
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#188852 - 09/19/06 12:25 AM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Charlotte]
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Registered: 04/05/06
Posts: 234
Loc: Sagittarius III
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Wipe Your FeetQuote:
I get tired of people attempting to take advantage of me or use me as a doormat.
People who do this do not respect you and are not your friends.
I suggest keeping better company, and if those who grow tiresome are people you live with, then find a way to reach a satisfactory accord or move out.
Though it is tempting in theory to try to make your life better by changing other people, this almost never works in practice.
People will be who they will be, and only they can change who they are, though a million illusions would suggest otherwise.
Beware the desire to control the lives of others. The price for doing so is losing control over your own life.
Others may reasonably disagree, but I have seen this principle demonstrated again and again.
Know thyself, and to thyself be true.
If everyone did that, the world would be a better place.
Sensitivity Training
Quote:
I am also very sensitive, and my feelings are easily hurt.
This is probably because you look to others for something you can only find within yourself: self-esteem.
Though I don't know you personally, I strongly suspect you don't know yourself personally, either.
Be honest with yourself, accept that which you like about yourself and resolve to change that which you don't like, and you will find your dependence on the opinions of others will diminish -- and possibly even vanish.
You have already expressed a desire to change yourself, but you may be pleasantly surprised at how little you actually need to change to be happy with who you are.
Don't ask for permission to be free.
The only limits which truly bind you are those you impose upon yourself.
_________________________
If you expect humanity to disappoint you, you'll never be disappointed.
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#188853 - 09/19/06 10:46 PM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Charlotte]
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CoS Member
Registered: 04/09/05
Posts: 587
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Why change your personality? That would be pointless. Doing so will just look fake, and you won’t be too satisfied by trying to be a way that you’re not. I think your best solution is to find a way to make your personality work FOR you, rather than against you. I agree with what others have said about how YOU are the one who hurts your feelings, not others. If you think others hurt your feelings, it is only because you are hurting yourself by allowing your feelings to be hurt. Don’t worry about what others think of you. Just be who you are and revel in it!
_________________________
"... it is much more gratifying to change your own world than the whole world." ~Magistra Ygraine
"Life is the great indulgence-death the great abstinence. Therefore, make the most of life-here and now!" ~Anton Szandor LaVey
"The true test of anyone's worth as a living creature is how much he can utilize what he has." ~Anton Szandor LaVey
"Twenty percent of your priorities will give you 80 percent of your production, IF you spend your time, energy, money, and personnel on the top 20 percent of your priorities." ~The Pareto Principle, as stated by John C. Maxwell
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#188854 - 09/20/06 06:43 AM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Charlotte]
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CoS Member
Registered: 10/18/05
Posts: 581
Loc: Brighton, England
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Quote:
By nature, I am very easygoing and polite to a fault. I would rather concede an argument to another person than get into a big messy row.
The problem is, people perceive me as fragile, submissive, and ultra-feminine. Though this is not entirely inaccurate, I get tired of people attempting to take advantage of me or use me as a doormat. I am also very sensitive, and my feelings are easily hurt.
My question is, should I change my personality, and to what degree? Or should I work within the bounds of what comes naturally to me, and turn it to my advantage?
All thoughts are welcome.
Thank you.
As well as following up the books suggested by others, you may find it beneficial to check out 'The Book of No' by Susan Newman.
I read it earlier this year after stumbling on it in Borders here in the UK, and found it an interesting read - I've never particularly thought of myself as a 'Yes Man' but reading this made me realise I do say Yes to people far more than I need, or really want to!
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#188855 - 09/20/06 08:17 AM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Charlotte]
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CoS Member
Registered: 10/27/03
Posts: 1474
Loc: Minnesota.
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Quote:
By nature, I am very easygoing and polite to a fault. I would rather concede an argument to another person than get into a big messy row.
The problem is, people perceive me as fragile, submissive, and ultra-feminine. Though this is not entirely inaccurate, I get tired of people attempting to take advantage of me or use me as a doormat. I am also very sensitive, and my feelings are easily hurt.
My question is, should I change my personality, and to what degree? Or should I work within the bounds of what comes naturally to me, and turn it to my advantage?
All thoughts are welcome.
Thank you.
The Satanic Witch has what you need.
The problem here is that you merely read it.
You didn't APPLY it.
Figure out where you sit on the clock, and exploit those differences.
_________________________
"Many people would sooner die than think - in fact, they do so." ~ Bertrand Russell "“Let the future tell the truth, and evaluate each one according to his work and accomplishments. The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine.” ~ Nikola Tesla Are You One of Us? The Glorious Infernal Empire
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#255084 - 07/11/07 03:09 PM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Chess]
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Banned
Registered: 07/08/07
Posts: 94
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I agree with your argument. And I think that the idea that Satanists are a "alpha male" kind of people is not necessarily correct. Of course - the best example are women themselves. They for instance, and it seems to me that this gift is bestowed upon them by nature, can assert control over other people, without being in the leading position.
And I just might add that taking the seemingly weaker role might in terms of the Satanic be a more prudent choice. I should take my own advice, though, as I am often the "alpha male" kind of guy, which sometimes leads me into a lot of trouble.
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#255233 - 07/11/07 09:20 PM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Corvus]
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Banned
Registered: 07/08/07
Posts: 5
Loc: canada
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i agree corvus...i am too quite an alpha male.
which i also need to work on...but hell hath no fury like a womans
scorn...especially a satanist woman.
_________________________
pissing in contempt
on the effigies of the weak
killing all resolve
the great beast simmers,his scarlet women
spit their vitriol
on the terrified face of peace
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#255235 - 07/11/07 09:28 PM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: cradledeth]
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Banned
Registered: 10/07/06
Posts: 836
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Man.
Here, I thought it was 'a woman SCORNED'.
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#255237 - 07/11/07 09:48 PM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: euol]
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Banned
Registered: 07/08/07
Posts: 5
Loc: canada
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well i can see when someone is not welcome. ive been met with nothing but sarcasm and insults. i thought talking to fellow satanists would be good for my faith. apparently not.
good bye
_________________________
pissing in contempt
on the effigies of the weak
killing all resolve
the great beast simmers,his scarlet women
spit their vitriol
on the terrified face of peace
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#255239 - 07/11/07 09:55 PM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Enchantress]
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CoS Member
Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 4234
Loc: 1313 Mockingbird Lane
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Or should I work within the bounds of what comes naturally to me, and turn it to my advantage? <img src="/lttd/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> I would recommend reading The Satanic Witch by Anton LaVey - it will help tremendously. Tee hee! I concur! A Witch can be whom ever she chooses to be on ANY given day and in any circumstance. Signed, The Kooky cookie lady down the street......... PS: These kids now know all about the Industrial Revolution! I taught them that....... (Eve Smiles). Hail Satan!
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#255240 - 07/11/07 09:55 PM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: cradledeth]
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CoS Member
Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 4234
Loc: 1313 Mockingbird Lane
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well i can see when someone is not welcome. ive been met with nothing but sarcasm and insults. i thought talking to fellow satanists would be good for my faith. apparently not.
good bye Faith? GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Courtesy of Magister Rose) who no, I do not nor never will speak for. His words however sum it all up! Did you ever think that maybe you ARE NOT a Satanist and that Satanist can see through you as if you were clear glass? WE ARE ELITE. WE ARE OUTSTANDING INDIVIDUALS. We...... are not callow. Take that to bed with you.
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#255244 - 07/11/07 10:06 PM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: cradledeth]
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Banned
Registered: 10/07/06
Posts: 836
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You were just wrong.
I was pointing it out.
How's that sarcasm?
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#255246 - 07/11/07 10:21 PM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: cradledeth]
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CoS Warlock
Registered: 01/17/05
Posts: 2062
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Menos uno !
_________________________
Has left the board.
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#255259 - 07/11/07 10:48 PM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Evil_Eve]
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CoS Member
Registered: 03/10/07
Posts: 1673
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Yup - couldn't even figure out to post an introduction.
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#255278 - 07/11/07 11:44 PM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Charlotte]
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Banned
Registered: 10/07/06
Posts: 836
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I would say, it's your personality.
Just draw the line between polite/submissive/gentle/whatever you wanna call it... and gullible.
I wouldn't know how to do that. I have a somewhat similar problem, where I give too many chances. I guess I'm just thick.
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#255301 - 07/12/07 01:04 AM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: cradledeth]
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CoS Warlock
Registered: 03/09/05
Posts: 2770
Loc: Here.
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It's much better for your "faith" than you realize.
_________________________
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#255360 - 07/12/07 09:24 AM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Charlotte]
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Banned
Registered: 03/08/07
Posts: 174
Loc: ULTRA Top-Secret
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You couldn't change your personality it's painful to do so; because no matter how hard you try, it's You, and your true personality will always "float". Moreover, it'll certainly give a chance to the specific trash people you are speaking about, to wield more power over you! Be as firm as possible with them, draw limits and make sure By all means that they don't cross them. There are really valuable opinions mentioned in this topic, you should highly consider them. That if you're truly honest about your question! Can I suggest you read or re-read the Chapter called "NOT ALL VAMPIRES SUCK BLOOD!" - You know where to find it.. Welcome! 
_________________________
“Hi! My name is Togare.”
— Dr. LaVey
“Not to show our fangs in anger, that is the Law. Are we not men?”
— DAS TIERDRAMA
Hail Satan!
Hail Shaitan!
Hail the Alien Elite!
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#255366 - 07/12/07 09:39 AM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Amon666]
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CoS Member
Registered: 05/10/06
Posts: 2235
Loc: Circling A Star
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You couldn't change your personality it's painful to do so; because no matter how hard you try, it's You, and your true personality will always "float". I disagree. That is the exact reasoning people who cannot control themselves (like drug abusers) love to use. You are not a slave to your personality. Your personality is a slave to you. It almost sounds like you believe in a soul that cannot change. A personality is merely the cumulative effects of teachings, interactions, and personal history that are filtered through one's own level of intelligence. This personality becomes apparent when one reacts to a situation. If one is intelligent enough, he/she can rise above simple knee-jerk reactions to these stimuli and react in a manner of their own choosing. With enough discipline and repetition these changes can become permanent, thus enacting a change in personality. What do you think ritual is for? It is at the very least a self-transformation; at best, much more. I am not advocating changing your personality to adapt to those around you. That would be foolish unless it was a ruse to effect a certain response. I am merely stating that your personality is not set in stone. If there are facets of your personality that you do not like, there are definately things you can do about it. You just have to be intelligent enough to spot them and disciplined enough to follow through.
_________________________
Hail Satan!
Minus
"When the great lord passes, the wise peasant bows deeply and silently farts."
-Ethiopian Proverb
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#255375 - 07/12/07 10:10 AM
...
[Re: Minus]
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Banned
Registered: 03/08/07
Posts: 174
Loc: ULTRA Top-Secret
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I've always thought of personality not as unchanging entity, but as certain and unique traits represents some sort of your own core attributes and ideals, in other words, Your basic self, so to speak. Closer, if you would change your essence, you'll end up losing your Self. In short, It's what makes You "You" not Me, and Me "Me" and not you!
Here comes the ritual role: I can ritualize almost about anything could hinder me, or effects me negatively. ritual is the ultimate satisfaction, mentally, emotionally and sometimes physically.
You profoundly summed it up in that last passage you wrote, thank you it meant something to me.
By the way, I sold my soul long time ago!
_________________________
“Hi! My name is Togare.”
— Dr. LaVey
“Not to show our fangs in anger, that is the Law. Are we not men?”
— DAS TIERDRAMA
Hail Satan!
Hail Shaitan!
Hail the Alien Elite!
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#255379 - 07/12/07 10:22 AM
Re: ...
[Re: Amon666]
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CoS Member
Registered: 05/10/06
Posts: 2235
Loc: Circling A Star
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I've always thought of personality not as unchanging entity, but as certain and unique traits represents some sort of your own core attributes and ideals, in other words, Your basic self, so to speak. Attributes, ideals, and character traits are all learned and/or created behavior. They did not originate with your birth or conception. The only behaviors you were born with are your genetic hardwiring (instincts). You "core self" would be quite boring, indeed; most likely similar to a "bad" dog or, not surprisingly, the newborn infant you once were. ritual is the ultimate satisfaction, mentally, emotionally and sometimes physically.
I'm more fond of a good "roll in the hay", myself. You profoundly summed it up in that last passage you wrote, thank you it meant something to me. You're welcome.
_________________________
Hail Satan!
Minus
"When the great lord passes, the wise peasant bows deeply and silently farts."
-Ethiopian Proverb
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#255380 - 07/12/07 10:26 AM
Re: ...
[Re: Mr Sam]
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CoS Member
Registered: 05/10/06
Posts: 2235
Loc: Circling A Star
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I have found that the 'everyone is unique' argument is false anyway. I have met many people who are perfect stereotypes and groups of people who share a single personality between them. I agree. That is where "level of intelligence" comes in. That is what separates the chaff from the wheat.
_________________________
Hail Satan!
Minus
"When the great lord passes, the wise peasant bows deeply and silently farts."
-Ethiopian Proverb
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#255382 - 07/12/07 10:29 AM
Re: ...
[Re: Mr Sam]
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Banned
Registered: 03/08/07
Posts: 174
Loc: ULTRA Top-Secret
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Dear Sam, Please re-read my respond, that wasn't my "argument" at all.
_________________________
“Hi! My name is Togare.”
— Dr. LaVey
“Not to show our fangs in anger, that is the Law. Are we not men?”
— DAS TIERDRAMA
Hail Satan!
Hail Shaitan!
Hail the Alien Elite!
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#255383 - 07/12/07 10:32 AM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Amon666]
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Banned
Registered: 10/07/06
Posts: 836
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Minus: Although, your choice of reaction also depends on your learnings, interactions, personal history, and intelligence. In other words, your personality will dictate your actions, whether knee-jerk or thought-out. You can still change what your knee-jerk ones are.
Amon: Mine is to smile, and I never, never did that two years ago. I've trained myself and... I'm actually a much happier person. I changed my personality from miserable and, yes, very 'emo', to a nice girl that dresses well and smiles sweetly and is very concerned about how others are doing.
I changed my personality.
You say we can't?
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#255387 - 07/12/07 10:40 AM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: euol]
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CoS Member
Registered: 05/10/06
Posts: 2235
Loc: Circling A Star
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your personality will dictate your actions I changed my personality. If both of these statements are true, how did that happen? Seems impossible. You didn't change your personality if your previous personality dictated your actions. Your personality is the sum of you. You are not the sum of your personality. Your actions dictate your personality.
_________________________
Hail Satan!
Minus
"When the great lord passes, the wise peasant bows deeply and silently farts."
-Ethiopian Proverb
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#255393 - 07/12/07 10:49 AM
Re: ...
[Re: Mr Sam]
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Banned
Registered: 03/08/07
Posts: 174
Loc: ULTRA Top-Secret
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My bad, everybody. I say there are certain things you couldn't and/or wouldn't possibly change about yourself. I'm sure of that cause I experienced it. I don't see how's that mysterious.
_________________________
“Hi! My name is Togare.”
— Dr. LaVey
“Not to show our fangs in anger, that is the Law. Are we not men?”
— DAS TIERDRAMA
Hail Satan!
Hail Shaitan!
Hail the Alien Elite!
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#255398 - 07/12/07 10:56 AM
Re: ...
[Re: Mr Sam]
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CoS Member
Registered: 05/10/06
Posts: 2235
Loc: Circling A Star
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Can you change whether or not you like pickles? That one is debatable... It's also debatable if that would constitute a personality trait. Just for the record, I love pickles more than you can imagine.
_________________________
Hail Satan!
Minus
"When the great lord passes, the wise peasant bows deeply and silently farts."
-Ethiopian Proverb
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#255399 - 07/12/07 10:58 AM
Re: ...
[Re: Minus]
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CoS Warlock
Registered: 03/10/05
Posts: 6968
Loc: Eremitica
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Can you change whether or not you like pickles? That one is debatable... It's also debatable if that would constitute a personality trait. Just for the record, I love pickles more than you can imagine. A trained psychiatrist could have a field day with that one, Minus.  Yes...I used the dancing chili pepper for added effect, if you must know. 
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#255401 - 07/12/07 10:59 AM
Re: ...
[Re: Mr Sam]
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Banned
Registered: 03/08/07
Posts: 174
Loc: ULTRA Top-Secret
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*Cheers*
_________________________
“Hi! My name is Togare.”
— Dr. LaVey
“Not to show our fangs in anger, that is the Law. Are we not men?”
— DAS TIERDRAMA
Hail Satan!
Hail Shaitan!
Hail the Alien Elite!
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#255404 - 07/12/07 11:02 AM
Re: ...
[Re: Roho_the_Rooster]
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CoS Member
Registered: 05/10/06
Posts: 2235
Loc: Circling A Star
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A trained psychiatrist could have a field day with that one, Minus. I have no doubt about that. 
_________________________
Hail Satan!
Minus
"When the great lord passes, the wise peasant bows deeply and silently farts."
-Ethiopian Proverb
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#255417 - 07/12/07 11:48 AM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Charlotte]
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Registered: 04/18/07
Posts: 113
Loc: USA
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If what people 'perceive' you as is different from who you really are, shouldn't you be able to turn their perception of you into an advantage?
You have the power to make them do whatever you want, using your 'fragility, submissiveness and femininity'.
Huzzah!
People will only use you if you let them.
_________________________
Sein ist die Hand die verletzt
Sein ist die Hand die heilt
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#255435 - 07/12/07 12:34 PM
Re: ...
[Re: Mr Sam]
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CoS Member
Registered: 05/10/06
Posts: 2235
Loc: Circling A Star
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Roho: I entered the thread earlier, simply because I knew you were probably saying something funny. Mr Sam: ...the reason I entered this one was because Minus might have said something funny again.
Shit boys, sorry to disappoint...
_________________________
Hail Satan!
Minus
"When the great lord passes, the wise peasant bows deeply and silently farts."
-Ethiopian Proverb
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#255452 - 07/12/07 01:25 PM
Re: ...
[Re: Minus]
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CoS Witch
Registered: 07/25/01
Posts: 12941
Loc: The Solid State
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Here's my two cents:
Because personality is influenced and shaped by nature (genetics) and nurture (experiences, socialization) interacting with each other, in many ways, yes, there are many aspects of personality that cannot be changed in themselves.
For example, no amount of exposure to cah-razay parties and mobs of people will turn me into an extrovert.
But, you can choose to channel your personality in certain ways, and you can change your behaviors. Though our traits may be solid, the way we choose to use or interpret them is fluid.
_________________________
"Gentlemen, the verdict is guilty, on all ten counts of first-degree stupidity. The penalty phase will now begin."--Divine, "Pink Flamingos."
"The strong rule the weak, and the cunning rule over all." HS!
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#255453 - 07/12/07 01:31 PM
Re: ...
[Re: TrojZyr]
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CoS Member
Registered: 05/10/06
Posts: 2235
Loc: Circling A Star
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For example, no amount of exposure to cah-razay parties and mobs of people will turn me into an extrovert. I agree with most of your points but I feel that it could change you if you were less intelligent and easily influenced by those around you.
_________________________
Hail Satan!
Minus
"When the great lord passes, the wise peasant bows deeply and silently farts."
-Ethiopian Proverb
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#255457 - 07/12/07 01:43 PM
Re: ...
[Re: Minus]
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CoS Witch
Registered: 07/25/01
Posts: 12941
Loc: The Solid State
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Change on what level, though?
Introversion and extroversion, for instance, are rooted in the brain and genetics. They've even found that innies and outies have different brain structures.
Can you change how a person interprets their experiences, and therefore acts? Of course.
Less intelligent introverts just shove down their emotions using self-talk, drugs, distraction, or alcohol, and tell themselves that it's all for the best. But, that doesn't change the fact that they come home tired and stressed at core level.
Believe me, I've tried to change aspects of my core nature that I thought were "bad," and it's never worked. Ditto for trying to change other people. Changing behaviors or rationales, however, has worked. Talking to myself (or others) in ways that still appeal to the needs and interests of the core nature also work.
Studies on twins, for example, have definitely shown that personality/temperament/nature has a genetic component.
If personality were so malleable, with the right training, anyone could become a Satanist. But, in my younger years, I tried to shape some of my friends into Satanists, and it simply didn't work. Ditto for when I tried to make people more analytical, more industrious, or more easygoing.
_________________________
"Gentlemen, the verdict is guilty, on all ten counts of first-degree stupidity. The penalty phase will now begin."--Divine, "Pink Flamingos."
"The strong rule the weak, and the cunning rule over all." HS!
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#255460 - 07/12/07 01:52 PM
Re: ...
[Re: TrojZyr]
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CoS Member
Registered: 05/10/06
Posts: 2235
Loc: Circling A Star
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So does that mean you feel you were an introvert before you had any personal interactions? Have you considered that maybe the reason you are an introvert is because of some of these early interactions and how they affected you? Introversion and extroversion, for instance, are rooted in the brain and genetics. Can you point me to some sources so I can read up on this? I'm not sure I buy the notion that one can be an introvert or an extrovert prior to having any tangible interactions.
_________________________
Hail Satan!
Minus
"When the great lord passes, the wise peasant bows deeply and silently farts."
-Ethiopian Proverb
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#255462 - 07/12/07 01:54 PM
Re: ...
[Re: Discipline]
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CoS Member
Registered: 05/10/06
Posts: 2235
Loc: Circling A Star
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I entered this discussion in hopes Minus would stop being so sarcastic. Sarcastic? I was genuinely sorry to disappoint. 
_________________________
Hail Satan!
Minus
"When the great lord passes, the wise peasant bows deeply and silently farts."
-Ethiopian Proverb
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#255475 - 07/12/07 02:16 PM
Re: ...
[Re: Minus]
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CoS Warlock
Registered: 03/10/05
Posts: 6968
Loc: Eremitica
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Roho: I entered the thread earlier, simply because I knew you were probably saying something funny. Mr Sam: ...the reason I entered this one was because Minus might have said something funny again.
Shit boys, sorry to disappoint... Actually, Minus, you did not disappoint. I shall, from henceforth, picture you with a pickle in your hand. Now, if I could just keep it out of my head when I visit the local deli... 
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#255478 - 07/12/07 02:22 PM
Re: Some Useful Links!
[Re: Minus]
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CoS Witch
Registered: 07/25/01
Posts: 12941
Loc: The Solid State
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Introversion and extroversion relate to stimulii, as well as interaction. So, extroverts also enjoy loud parties, extreme sports, amusement parks, casinos--anything that gets their juice jumping. Introverts are much more sensitive, so they reach the point of overload much quicker.
You can even see this in babies. Some babies adore lots of stimulation, and are quick to seek it out, while others begin to get upset if their day is too busy or too much is going on around them.
And, I'm sure that my experiences shaped and heightened my nature from there. Certainly, I'm pretty misanthropic because of some of my experiences. My parents exposed me to certain (largely introverted) hobbies and pursuits that I like to this day, such as reading books. And, I've never felt bad about being introverted, because I never had anyone bugging me to go be sociable or be wildly, loudly active when I didn't want to be. (Whereas some innies grow up feeling very guilty about not wanting to spend time doing "fun" things and being with people, while some extroverts grow up shy and afraid because they got burned early.)
A good book is the Introvert Advantage. I don't recall the author off the top of my head, sorry :(.
_________________________
"Gentlemen, the verdict is guilty, on all ten counts of first-degree stupidity. The penalty phase will now begin."--Divine, "Pink Flamingos."
"The strong rule the weak, and the cunning rule over all." HS!
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#255480 - 07/12/07 02:28 PM
Re: Some Useful Links!
[Re: Amon666]
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CoS Member
Registered: 05/10/06
Posts: 2235
Loc: Circling A Star
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While I appreciate you digging up those links, they do not really address what I am looking for. They merely explain introversion and extroversion. I am already familiar with the meaning of these terms. I am looking for info pertaining to a genetic link that decides which trait you will exhibit.
_________________________
Hail Satan!
Minus
"When the great lord passes, the wise peasant bows deeply and silently farts."
-Ethiopian Proverb
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#255484 - 07/12/07 02:39 PM
Re: Some Useful Links!
[Re: TrojZyr]
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CoS Member
Registered: 05/10/06
Posts: 2235
Loc: Circling A Star
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I agree with everything you've stated here and it seems to mesh with what I was saying earlier.
My only problem is that I don't believe we are pre-destined by our genes to be one or the other.
I believe our experiences (even as far back as infancy) help mold our personalities and then we can either spend the rest of our lives waiting for that concrete to dry or we can chip away at it and sculpt it into something beautiful that we can be proud of.
_________________________
Hail Satan!
Minus
"When the great lord passes, the wise peasant bows deeply and silently farts."
-Ethiopian Proverb
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#255485 - 07/12/07 02:41 PM
Re: ...
[Re: Minus]
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CoS Member
Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 4234
Loc: 1313 Mockingbird Lane
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Can you change whether or not you like pickles? That one is debatable... It's also debatable if that would constitute a personality trait. Just for the record, I love pickles more than you can imagine. Not as much as Eve does. I am eating one right NOW! My favourite ones are the ones that come in those pouches..... the hot ones! Right now...sigh, I got the wrong one which is a 'sour pickle'... ohhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhh where is this thread going?  True, you CAN change your personality. The only thing you CANNOT change is your DNA.
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#255487 - 07/12/07 02:45 PM
Re: ...
[Re: Evil_Eve]
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Banned
Registered: 07/08/07
Posts: 94
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You can change your DNA, but still with unforseeable consequences. Trust me, I'm a biochemist  (This reminds me a lot of that saying "trust me, I'm a doctor")
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#255490 - 07/12/07 02:58 PM
Re: ...
[Re: Corvus]
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CoS Member
Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 4234
Loc: 1313 Mockingbird Lane
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but still with unforseeable consequences. Exactly, so why would one attempt to do so?
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#255493 - 07/12/07 03:07 PM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Charlotte]
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Registered: 12/30/03
Posts: 1212
Loc: USA
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Someone on this forum said something about human nature and I think it applies to personality as well. I don’t remember who said it, but whoever you are I thank you because it really struck a chord.
They said, and I’m paraphrasing here, that a Satanist embraces his nature, but is not dominated by it. I think this makes sense. I would even expand on that a little and suggest that the people who are most dominated by their nature, are the ones least likely to realize that they have “a nature” to begin with.
Again, I think the same applies to personality. The most unlikable people don’t even realize they are unlikable. By knowing your self, and by being aware of your own strengths and weaknesses, you can gain the upper hand. Then it’s simply a matter of deciding which aspects of your personality are most useful depending on the situation.
_________________________
They are doomed because they cannot even glimpse beyond the construct that their masters have put into place. Their masters are doomed because they believe in the construct they created.
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#255495 - 07/12/07 03:10 PM
Re: ...
[Re: Evil_Eve]
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Banned
Registered: 07/08/07
Posts: 94
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As a scientist, I must say - to find out what happens.
Every day in the lab I have in mind the words "hmm, let's see..."
Through repetition of experiments, unforeseeable consequences become foreseeable and thus can often be manipulated.
I could go on and on about this, but this is way off the topic that was posted in the first place.
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#255496 - 07/12/07 03:13 PM
Re: ...
[Re: Corvus]
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CoS Member
Registered: 05/10/06
Posts: 2235
Loc: Circling A Star
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Through repetition of experiments, unforeseeable consequences become foreseeable and thus can often be manipulated.  "Please stop repeating experiments."
_________________________
Hail Satan!
Minus
"When the great lord passes, the wise peasant bows deeply and silently farts."
-Ethiopian Proverb
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#255497 - 07/12/07 03:13 PM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: cradledeth]
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Banned
Registered: 07/08/07
Posts: 94
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Well, being an alpha male can sometimes be very useful, but can also get you into a lot of trouble at times.
This approach in life seems to be very intimidating to some people, which is actually a very effective way to save energy usually spent on meaningless confrontations.
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#255500 - 07/12/07 03:16 PM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: J. Hagalaz]
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Registered: 12/30/03
Posts: 1212
Loc: USA
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...and I just realized that this post is from September of last year. I still stand by what I said though.
_________________________
They are doomed because they cannot even glimpse beyond the construct that their masters have put into place. Their masters are doomed because they believe in the construct they created.
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#255501 - 07/12/07 03:17 PM
Re: ...
[Re: Evil_Eve]
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Registered: 02/04/07
Posts: 112
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I have nothing to add to this thread, however... True, you CAN change your personality. The only thing you CANNOT change is your DNA. I remember reading something about changing one's DNA (to achieve beneficial results) on another Forum. Though, I do not recall the specifics of that discussion, I do not think it is impossible.
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#255564 - 07/12/07 05:03 PM
Re: Goodbye?
[Re: LKRice]
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CoS Member
Registered: 07/04/01
Posts: 4749
Loc: Here
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Oh, Yay I'm down with that.
_________________________
"All the truth in the world adds up to one big lie." "Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it." Church of Satan
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#255600 - 07/12/07 06:53 PM
Re: Goodbye?
[Re: LKRice]
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CoS Member
Registered: 10/27/03
Posts: 1474
Loc: Minnesota.
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More like "Good riddance."
I'm very tempted to ban posthaste the next idiot who heads straight to the Music forum and starts posting about Cradle of Filth. Oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please do it! FOR THE LOVE OF FRANK SINATRA!
_________________________
"Many people would sooner die than think - in fact, they do so." ~ Bertrand Russell "“Let the future tell the truth, and evaluate each one according to his work and accomplishments. The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine.” ~ Nikola Tesla Are You One of Us? The Glorious Infernal Empire
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#255615 - 07/12/07 07:38 PM
Re: Goodbye?
[Re: Felstorm]
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CoS Warlock
Registered: 03/10/05
Posts: 6968
Loc: Eremitica
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FOR THE LOVE OF FRANK SINATRA!
Someone remembers a thread I started a while back on the Chairman of the Board! Probably not; but, I was looking for an excuse to use the dancing chili pepper one more time.
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#255620 - 07/12/07 07:44 PM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: J. Hagalaz]
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Banned
Registered: 10/07/06
Posts: 836
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...and I just realized that this post is from September of last year. ... Oh.
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#255729 - 07/12/07 10:46 PM
Re: ...
[Re: Corvus]
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CoS Warlock
Registered: 08/25/03
Posts: 6795
Loc: Forever West
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You are one heavily medicated biochemist.
_________________________
"I've learned . . . that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes." ~Andy Rooney
"At last I shall have time to devote myself seriously and freely to the destruction of all my former opinions." ~Descartes
“The first principle is that you must not fool yourself—and you are the easiest person to fool.” ~Richard Feynman
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#255900 - 07/13/07 12:26 PM
Re: Goodbye?
[Re: ShadowDragon]
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CoS Warlock
Registered: 03/10/05
Posts: 6968
Loc: Eremitica
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We're not perfect after all, and I would certainly not want to see someone who is here. In a way they'd be saying they were finished. I thought of a couple of funny things to say...you know, like, if you don't want to see that, do not check out my picture, or something to that effect; but I will not...because that was actually a good thought. I like the last sentence.
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#260755 - 07/30/07 01:53 PM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Charlotte]
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Registered: 07/19/07
Posts: 189
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Here's something you could try: if you don't want to be stepped on in your daily life, satisfy your need to be dominated in the bedroom.
For example: my girlfriend is very submissive in the bedroom; she gets it "out of her system", if you will, by letting me be her master during sex...this satisfies her submissive side completely, so that in her daily life she is very assertive and firm, i.e. she takes no sh** from ANYONE, and she NEVER gets stepped on. I think this is a very healthy practice, and it works for her...maybe it would work for you too.
_________________________
"The gift of death metal does not smile upon the good-looking". - Strong Bad
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#260756 - 07/30/07 01:54 PM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: J. Hagalaz]
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Registered: 07/19/07
Posts: 189
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Yep, same here. Still a valid point.
_________________________
"The gift of death metal does not smile upon the good-looking". - Strong Bad
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#260776 - 07/30/07 04:23 PM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Charlotte]
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Registered: 05/06/07
Posts: 62
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I get tired of people attempting to take advantage of me or use me as a doormat. My turn to add some ideas: I'd say that if they attempt to take advantage of you, they do it because they think they have a chance. In other words - you show signs of weakness. I believe you can't change who you are, but you can change how others see you. Instead, change your attitude by reviewing yourself and try to think of why they see you in this light. The next time you meet a new person, try not to show the things you think might be the reason to their attempts. I don't think this is changing ones personality, it's just being more.. cautious. For me, who is a caring, thoughtful, kind person, I've found that instead of trying to toughen up, simply not "putting it out there" has helped. You won't give them a chance if they can't sense it. I haven't been in a situation where anyone tried to use me like that since I realized this (which fortunately was early in life). I don't show my nice/fragile side until I feel that people deserve it. Make them earn it. This doesn't mean becoming an introvert or being rude in anyway, but being more.. obejctive (right word?) in a situation. Be yourself but await the is-this-an-asshole-person-results before you reveal more. It isn't being afraid - I just see it as "Why should I waste my finer sides on you - I don't know you". I also think people have more respect for people who can "handle being very nice", without giving too much of it. Not sure if I made much sense to you, but I think it's a sound way of keeping on being the soft and nice you. Save it for your loved ones! And oh! It's also fun when people aren't sure what to expect from you. You'll see if you try.
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#264776 - 08/14/07 06:32 PM
Not at all.
[Re: Charlotte]
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CoS Magister
Registered: 10/06/02
Posts: 11982
Loc: Point Nemo s48:52:31:748, w123...
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You are not your personality. What do you want to do? How do you want to behave? I would suggest that context is everything to determine what behaviors are best suited for the outcomes you desire. However you cannot change your "nature". Your "nature" is not your personality. Change what you do and you will change how you feel. But choose carefully.
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#264786 - 08/14/07 07:26 PM
Re: Not at all.
[Re: Nemo]
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CoS Member
Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 4234
Loc: 1313 Mockingbird Lane
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You are not your personality.
Why oh why am I reminded of the film 'Fight Club' when I read the words you have penned? Oh, by the way...one of My most favourite films ever. You are not your job....your this....your that.... Indeed good Sir.
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#264790 - 08/14/07 07:55 PM
Re: Not at all.
[Re: Evil_Eve]
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CoS Witch
Registered: 07/08/06
Posts: 5983
Loc: In transit
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"You are not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the shoes that you wear. You are not the contents of your wallet. You are not your job." "You choose you're level of involvement. I won't make decisions for you." "The things you own, they end up owning you." "I am Jack's Complete Lack of Surprise." Oh yeh, one of my favourite movies as well. (Sorry a bit off topic...)
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"What happens in the shadow, in the grey regions, also interests us – all that is elusive and fugitive, all that can be said in those beautiful half tones, or in whispers, in deep shade." ~ The Brothers Quay
“Up where the smoke is all billered and curled
'Tween pavement and stars is the chimney sweep world
When there's 'ardly no day nor 'ardly no night
There's things 'alf in shadow and 'alfway in light" ~ The New Christy Minstrels
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#264791 - 08/14/07 07:56 PM
Re: Not at all.
[Re: Shade]
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CoS Member
Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 4234
Loc: 1313 Mockingbird Lane
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"You are not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the shoes that you wear. You are not the contents of your wallet. You are not your job." "You choose you're level of involvement. I won't make decisions for you." "The things you own, they end up owning you." "I am Jack's Complete Lack of Surprise." Oh yeh, one of my favourite movies as well. (Sorry a bit off topic...) I knew I would see you here. You ARE Jack and I simply adore that! Want to go make some soap with Me?
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#264796 - 08/14/07 08:09 PM
Re: Not at all.
[Re: Evil_Eve]
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CoS Witch
Registered: 07/08/06
Posts: 5983
Loc: In transit
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The first rule of fight club is - you don't talk about fight club. The second rule of fight club is - ... Actually we're not too off topic here. The movie was really all about submission, aggression, nature, personality, individuality, herd mentality. Not too far off topic at all. "I'm sorry... you met me at a very strange time in my life." (I love Jack's last line. It was the sort of gross understatement I am famous for.)
_________________________
"What happens in the shadow, in the grey regions, also interests us – all that is elusive and fugitive, all that can be said in those beautiful half tones, or in whispers, in deep shade." ~ The Brothers Quay
“Up where the smoke is all billered and curled
'Tween pavement and stars is the chimney sweep world
When there's 'ardly no day nor 'ardly no night
There's things 'alf in shadow and 'alfway in light" ~ The New Christy Minstrels
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#264821 - 08/14/07 10:08 PM
Re: Not at all.
[Re: Roho_the_Rooster]
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CoS Warlock
Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 1411
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Personality IS nature. There was a study conducted called "The New York Longitudinal". The study followed people over quite some time and what they found was that people's personalities (temperament) do not change much throughout the course of their lives. If someone's basic demeanor is grumpy when they are infants then they are basically grumpy their whole lives. http://www.bookrags.com/Temperament and here- http://www.temperament.com/clinical.htmlThis does not mean, however that people cannot act deceptively.
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#264864 - 08/15/07 05:23 AM
Re: Not at all.
[Re: DickSteele]
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CoS Warlock
Registered: 11/01/05
Posts: 2352
Loc: Europa
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Personality IS nature.
There was a study conducted called "The New York Longitudinal".
The study followed people over quite some time and what they found was that people's personalities (temperament) do not change much throughout the course of their lives. If someone's basic demeanor is grumpy when they are infants then they are basically grumpy their whole lives. No. Just because that it might be generally the case (a possible contingent truth), does not mean it is a necessary truth. And even if My personality were fixed and immutable (it's not, I can change it by NLP tweaking and the like), I would still not be My personality, in essence. I am the Black Flame - the dark heart of My universe that is known only by its effects. That is My nature; the Schwarze Sonne. Personality is equatable to the white parts encircling the Schwarze Sonne. They are visible; they outline, and distinguish, and draw attention to, the invisible. You know Me by My personality, just as the viewer knows the Schwarze Sonne not by the black parts that are really invisible, but by the white parts that highlight them. You see only My peripheral attributes. You see My personality, My body, etc. I can change My body (body modification, etc) and still be Me. I can change My personality (NLP etc), and still be Me. I can change any of those peripheral attributes and still be Me. My nature is what I cannot change. And that is the real Me; the experiencer and controller of all the aforementioned attributes.  Description: Die Schwarze Sonne
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#264915 - 08/15/07 10:57 AM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: G.F.V.]
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Registered: 09/10/05
Posts: 1666
Loc: Denmark
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There's nothing at all wrong with being sensitive. Just be sure to not let others exploit your sensitivity.
I agree. And it's only the strong people who isn't afraid to feel, but you have to make sure that your feelings are productive, so don't be a victim, be a warrior 
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#264933 - 08/15/07 12:25 PM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: G.F.V.]
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CoS Warlock
Registered: 03/10/05
Posts: 6968
Loc: Eremitica
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If you are tired of people trying to take advantage of you, the best thing to do is to remove contact with them. If that is impractical (for instance, you have to work with people of this nature), then make yourself unavailable by keeping busy or occupied.
There are a couple of people who I have found I am wise to avoid. At one time, I thought this was a sign of weakness; so, I would walk past them, or stay in a room with them, thinking that I was "not letting them dictate where I was". After a small stomach problem, and a few arguments, I realized that if I saw a sick dog coming my way, wisdom would dictate that I cross the street. Other than that, when I have finished my business, I stay in my room, where I feel comfortable, and enjoy my study and writing. It works well.
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#265009 - 08/15/07 08:58 PM
Re: Not at all.
[Re: Linguascelesta]
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CoS Warlock
Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 1411
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It would seem that if we are not our personalities then we would be a bookcase or something. This seems to be starting to dip into the white light realm where they can explain away their failures as-"we are not our successes or failures, we are not our jobs etc...ad nauseum" why? because....we are beings of light. I know wikipedia is generally not a good source of info but this is from the APA site. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personality_psychology"A third area of emphasis examines human nature and how all people are similar to one other. These three viewpoints merge together in the study of personality." I could be wrong though-that would mean that the APA is wrong also.
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#265031 - 08/15/07 10:32 PM
Re: Not at all.
[Re: DickSteele]
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CoS Magister
Registered: 10/06/02
Posts: 11982
Loc: Point Nemo s48:52:31:748, w123...
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I could be wrong though-that would mean that the APA is wrong also. Very well. You are then both wrong. Identity is not utility. Don't blame me. Blame reality.
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#265033 - 08/15/07 10:57 PM
Re: Not at all.
[Re: Nemo]
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CoS Member
Registered: 01/20/06
Posts: 2331
Loc: East Coast, USA.
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That calls to light an example of a personality chameleon, a la the master of the mask, Oscar Wilde. His nature was that of an egomaniac, whereas his life was that of artifice and a daily endeavor to create the most outrageous personality ever to swagger the streets of London. No lie was too great and no mask to ugly in the pursuit of fame. If a particular trait that he adopted or a turn of phrase didn't instantly garner admiration, he tossed it aside and moved on to the next. Here was a man that wasn't a slave to his personality, he changed that like he changed his coat, but was instead a slave to his nature. Not like he had a choice. Anyway, I agree with you, I just thought that the ol' boy was a great example of the general train of thought in this thread.
_________________________
"People who harbor strong convictions without evidence belong at the margins of our societies, not in our halls of power. The only thing we should respect in a person’s faith is his desire for a better life in this world; we need never have respected his certainty that one awaits him in the next."
- Sam Harris
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#265067 - 08/16/07 04:18 AM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Virus9]
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Banned
Registered: 08/14/07
Posts: 150
Loc: Australia
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Be yourself. Do and be what comes natural to you. You don't have to change for anyone if you don't want to.
You're an individual. Embrace it don't fight it.
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#265071 - 08/16/07 04:39 AM
Topsy-turvy logic.
[Re: DickSteele]
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CoS Warlock
Registered: 11/01/05
Posts: 2352
Loc: Europa
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This seems to be starting to dip into the white light realm where they can explain away their failures as-"we are not our successes or failures, we are not our jobs etc...ad nauseum" why? because....we are beings of light. No. I am not My successes or failures or My job etc. I do not use that as an excuse for anything. Since I am not My successes or failures or My job etc, this means I can control them, and it is My responsibility to do so! If I were My successes or failures or My job etc, I would be a slave to them and have no responsibility for them. As usual, the white-lighters have it completely upside-down.
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#265090 - 08/16/07 07:33 AM
Re: Not at all.
[Re: Nemo]
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CoS Warlock
Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 1411
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All I am saying is that it seems that nature IS personality since people ACT normally according to their nature. All due respect Magister I don't see how a group of professionals such as the APA could be wrong.
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#265109 - 08/16/07 09:52 AM
Re: Not at all.
[Re: Poetaster]
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CoS Reverend
Registered: 06/25/02
Posts: 10474
Loc: England
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>> That calls to light an example of a personality chameleon, a la the master of the mask, Oscar Wilde. <<
Quite! But it is indeed only the mask that is changed. The inherent personality isn't.
Just as an actor remains himself behind the facade.
Neuro Liguistic Programming does not change the personality either - it only alters perception.
The loss, denial or secession of personality is called schizophrenia. This fact is supported by medical science.
I've recommended it before and I will recommend it again:
The Divided Self by Dr. R.D. Laing.
As any hypnotist, including Milton H. Erikson has defined, one cannot actually change personality by suggestion. One can effect behaviour - but only to a degree that does not contradict basic, individual ethics.
Edited by UVRAY (08/16/07 12:50 PM)
Edit Reason: Typin Eros
_________________________
"u.v.ray is an uncompromising writer who glares at the world with bloodshot eyes. He gazes into the abyss and sees jewels of tragedy, comedy, cruelty, heroism, tenderness, darkness, grit and futility. We Are Glass is a searing collection of seventeen razor-sharp short stories; a very fine collection indeed." -- Paul D. Brazill. www.uvray.moonfruit.com
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#265231 - 08/16/07 08:02 PM
Re: Not at all.
[Re: Drake_Bamboozle]
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CoS Member
Registered: 01/20/06
Posts: 2331
Loc: East Coast, USA.
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I am definitely going to read this book. I won't lie and say that I've even heard of it, so my opinion might very well change after reading it. This is certainly not a topic that I can rightfully discuss, without further study. So I thank you very much for this recommendation.
_________________________
"People who harbor strong convictions without evidence belong at the margins of our societies, not in our halls of power. The only thing we should respect in a person’s faith is his desire for a better life in this world; we need never have respected his certainty that one awaits him in the next."
- Sam Harris
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#265261 - 08/16/07 11:12 PM
Re: Not at all.
[Re: DickSteele]
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CoS Magister
Registered: 08/16/06
Posts: 8125
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"Even when the experts all agree, they may well be mistaken." Bertrand Russell
_________________________
"Consensus is the absence of leadership." Margaret Thatcher
"I'm fascinated with how primitive the human mind still is. It can be misdirected so easily." John Gaughan
"Success is uncommon. Therefore, not to be enjoyed by the common man." Cal Stoll
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#276173 - 10/09/07 09:26 AM
Re: Too submissive?
[Re: Virus9]
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Registered: 10/01/07
Posts: 58
Loc: ohio
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Yes, I agree with everyone here about changing who you are and dealing with others perceptions of you.
I have tried at once to change another's manipulation of me. They immediately know what's up and what I'm trying so hard to do.
I agree absolutely that we must do it in slow steps.
The comments here have absolutely convinced me of this and to go slow.
Moon Shadow
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'Magic is like nature itself, and success in magic requires working in harmony with nature, not against it.' LaVey
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#276189 - 10/09/07 10:41 AM
Re: Goodbye?
[Re: LKRice]
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Registered: 10/06/04
Posts: 144
Loc: Texas, USA
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Hehehehe! Something tells me you would be met with absolutely NO resistance!
_________________________
"I hold it that a little rebellion now and then is a good thing, and as necessary in the political world as storms in the physical.".....Thomas Jefferson
"I have as much authority as the Pope - I just don't have as many people who believe it." ...George Carlin
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#276190 - 10/09/07 10:53 AM
Re: Not at all.
[Re: Nemo]
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Registered: 10/06/04
Posts: 144
Loc: Texas, USA
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It seems logical to me that "personality" is not a "cause", but rather an "effect", or an outcropping of a person's "nature". One's nature would seem to be the dynamic by which the personality could be altered or adjusted. Personality seems to be more subject to circumstance and conditioning, and therefore ought to be subject to the person's nature.
_________________________
"I hold it that a little rebellion now and then is a good thing, and as necessary in the political world as storms in the physical.".....Thomas Jefferson
"I have as much authority as the Pope - I just don't have as many people who believe it." ...George Carlin
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