Many of you who used to be practicing Christians, Muslims, Jews (for lack of a better term coming to mind right away), or even Wikkans have had to deal with the guilt forcefully brainwashed into you.
There is a Christian belief that an Aethiest never stays an Aetheist once he/she is put in an extreme situation of mental pressure. Eventually the weak minded crack, and I am sure the same goes for some Satanists who were not ready to accept a new system of beliefs.
I know I am not ready to accept many things, and that I need to be to move on with my life. So I will ask the question that I came here to ask, how do I kill my own conscience? How do I kill an external God that judges me on not only my actions and words but even my thoughts?
I have grown up going to Catholic school, going to a Catholic church, and even have been forced to be an altar boy when I was in grade school. Somewhere along the line I realized that Christianity was taking me nowhere and that I was wasting my time. However, the fear of God still sticks. It is like the boogie man, many children were told of, so that they would behave, and now they are screwed up people as adults. I still check over my shoulder to see if God is watching, and it scares me. So now I ask for guidance. from the men and women who obviously gave up their own beliefs in search for the truth.

Look up at the sky and flip God the bird. When you are not struck dead, you will know that you have nothing to fear. I'm not kidding.

go and see a psychiatrist maybe?

Over the years we have all acquired habits of thought that we no longer find useful. Sometimes these are so ingrained that we refer to them as 'buttons'.

It's a lot of determined work, but the buttons can be disconnected.

The manual for doing so can be found here.

an Aethiest never stays an Aetheist once he/she is put in an extreme situation of mental pressure

Joe Simpson sure didn't. See the movie/documentary Touching the Void to see exactly what I mean.

Your name is fitting.

If Jehovah isn't real, then what does it matter?

All sins lead to gratification.

Go do something stimulating.

Blaspheme. Sin.

Along the way you may find that you start to enjoy life.

You can't kill your concience. You alter it to accept a new set of rules.

If you do not have the willpower to shed that old set of rules...

You will find that you are very much in the wrong place, amidst hostile company.

Are you afraid of Santa Claus too? How about the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny?

Thats what your fear of skydaddy amounts to.

What do you think the Black Mass is for?

If it's so easy to 'take the plunge' and have faith in something that clearly doesn't exist, how hard can it be to 'take the plunge' and shatter the fairytale once and for all?

You need to face your irrational fear.

Mock it, spit in it's face and see it for what it really is.

Only then shall you be free to live as you see fit.

There is only one god in your life..you!

Wikkans

They worship Wikipedia?

how do I kill my own conscience? How do I kill an external God that judges me on not only my actions and words but even my thoughts?

You might try a Black Mass, wherein you blaspheme god and destroy him.

You might try reading literature on various other religions, and reading texts by atheists and skeptics. I find that learning about different faiths levels the spiritual playing field, especially when atheist texts are added into the mix.

Then, in conversation, in Internet debates, and/or just in written essays only to yourself, argue for those points of view, and against the Christian beliefs that are currently pestering you. Psychological studies have found that beliefs are most quickly extinguished when one has to argue against them.

Use rational thought to reach coherent conclusions. Use logic -- not faith.

It is quite simple.

As some have said here, how can you fear something that does not exist. One poster said to use rational thought. That's good advice. While you still believe that God, God's, or the Boogie Man, exists, you cannot turn your back on them.