Since I am feeling in a giving mode despite the Judge Moore crap outside let me give you some advice. It's all very simple, What does your gut tell you?
1. Do I really need candles or can I use electric reading lights?
This all depends on the enviroment you are trying to create. A classic look or a techo look? What appeals to your sense of aesthetics
2.Can I use the compassion ritual on my self?
Why do you need to make yourself feel compasion for yourself. It should come naturally. If not find out why and fix it or get someone to help you fix it.
3.If anyone has done a destruction ritual did they find that the results were what they wanted?
Sorry I haven't hated anyone enough to waste my energy on.