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#227477 - 03/12/07 01:08 PM Re: I Don't Like Kids.... But.... [Re: Bill_M]
Evil_Eve Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 4234
Loc: 1313 Mockingbird Lane
I concur.

I oft times have Mothers and Fathers who tell My husband and I what We are missing out on. (What ARE We missing out on)? Not being able to go somewhere that is of interest to Us because We have a baby to tend to? Added expenses? The list goes on...

Oh, I know the whole argument. You are only saying this because you don't have any children and don't understand the whole Mother/child bond.

But don't I? I had a child and many of you are aware of that situation. I never want to have another child again. This of course could be based on some fear that what happened could happen again, but I am more convinced as the years ebb on, that I am quite content to be as Warlock Bill put it '(ChildFREE)'.

I do however LOVE children. (Some more than others, and some children I down right HATE) you heard Me (HATE). It's annoying to watch a child curse it's parents in a public place and to tell their parents to SHUT UP! (I have heard far worse things come out of the mouths of toddlers). It more annoying to watch that parent just stand there and grin like an idiot. They deserve what they get which in the end, will be their demon spawn putting them in a crappy nursing home and never coming to visit them, of course, after spending all of their parents retirement money.

Children much like animals seem to gravitate toward Me. I do quite well with them but am also reminded of the old saying:

"I LOVE children, as long as they can GO HOME".

As it were, if I see someone harming a child I will be the first to act in their defense. It's amazing that you have to have a license to run a hot dog stand and yet any idiot can 'have a child'.
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"Our religion does not require martyrs."
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Revered.
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#227478 - 03/12/07 01:25 PM Re: I Don't Like Kids.... But.... [Re: Bill_M]
LightAngel Offline


Registered: 09/10/05
Posts: 1688
Loc: Denmark
Quote:


The parents who seem secure in their decision seem just fine with my own decision, and don't get defensive.




You hit the nail on the head there.

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#227479 - 03/12/07 02:26 PM Re: I Don't Like Kids.... But.... [Re: Bill_M]
Bruja Offline

CoS Witch

Registered: 04/22/05
Posts: 2054
Loc: Atlanta, GA.
Quote:

In my experience, children are like any other individuals: I get along with some, and others drive me nuts. Some are interesting and smart, and some are annoying and do some seriously dumb things..




Sounds about right to me. Of course, I'm crazy about my own kids, but as far as everyone else's children, how I feel about them is determined on a case by case basis.

Quote:

If there's any related group I "hate", its these parents. Not all parents, but the ones that let let parenthood define their entire lives. The "soccer mom" and "super dad" types, I call them. I've noticed that most of these parents who have no life outside of parenting, were usually boring, untalented, hobbyless shut-ins who had no life BEFORE parenting either.




Oh, I'm wondering now about having recently been called a "soccer mom", maybe I should be offended??


In all seriousness, this is one of the most trying aspects for me about having kids.. it's not the kids, or even their sometimes annoying friends, it's constantly running into this type of parent. Because we both have the common thread of having children the same age, oftentimes they assume that naturally we will develop a great friendship. Unfortunately for them, I would only choose to spend my free time with a parent that I have something in common with besides the fact that we both have children. That takes most of these folks right out of the running.

I would certainly define myself as a mother, but I'm also so much more than that. Parents that can't see themselves this way are going to have a rude awakening when their kids leave the nest.

Quote:

I swear their passive-aggressive attacks are rooted in some kind of envy for me being single, or their own self-deceit to cover up their regrets of becoming a parent.




That's exactly what it is. I've never been able to understand the whole "recruiting" mentality. Becoming a parent is not for everyone, and I find it more than silly to try to talk people who say they DON'T want children into changing their minds.

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#227480 - 03/12/07 08:16 PM Re: I Don't Like Kids.... But.... [Re: Bill_M]
redheadgrl Offline


Registered: 09/24/06
Posts: 273
Quote:

I am unashamedly childfree. Furthermore, the term "childfree" often additionally describes somebody who has come to the conclusion to never have children. I've given both sides of the issue a lot of thought, and after weighing pros and cons, have come to the conclusion that parenting is not for me.




Me too.

Quote:


Usually upon finding that I'm childfree, the annoying "soccer mom"/"super dad" parent types get preachy on me. I don't know who's worse, the mothers or the fathers. "Oh, I used to say the same thing, but then I had my kind and..." I swear their passive-aggressive attacks are rooted in some kind of envy for me being single, or their own self-deceit to cover up their regrets of becoming a parent. The parents who seem secure in their decision seem just fine with my own decision, and don't get defensive.




Exactly!

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#227481 - 03/12/07 09:04 PM Re: I Don't Like Kids.... But.... [Re: Shade]
Svengali Offline
CoS Magister

Registered: 03/06/03
Posts: 12460
Loc: Florida, U.S.A.
I generally dislike children. I dont like being around them and have never wanted one. Nine times out of ten they are on my last nerve as soon as they enter the room. Fortunately I am rarely, if ever, around them and then in mercifully brief doses. I am not close to anyone with children, and honestly cant remember the last time I was around one for any length of time. On extremely rare occasions I have met children that I liked, but for the most part I find them to be unbearably obnoxious and annoying.

Children are innocent and should not be scarred by abuse, psychological, physical, or otherwise, because the result will invariably be a damaged adult more likely to propagate their damage on other children. Child abuse just fills the world with more damaged people.

That is not to say children should be isolated from the world in plastic bubbles. In fact I think children should be made aware of the harsh realities of life as early as they are able to understand things, but not in the form of inflicted trauma. Adults who have led sheltered lives are repulsive.

All that being said; I do feel instinctively protective toward children and would not hesitate to physically intervene with force to protect them from harm.

People who sexually or physically abuse children should be exterminated without hesitation or remorse.
_________________________
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#227482 - 03/12/07 09:17 PM Re: I Don't Like Kids.... But.... [Re: Shade]
Isabel23 Offline
CoS Magistra

Registered: 12/17/02
Posts: 2041
Shade,

I feel pretty much the same way you do.

I don't particularly like other people's kids. They don't smell right. I don't mind ocasionally watching them manipulate their parents -- kind of like being at the zoo. Kids don't freak me out -- I just expect them to act civilly when interacting with me. They seem to know that.

There are some exceptions, but they grew up. I don't mind my nieces and nephews, and of course my own kids are rather special to me. And I am rather pleased that they are all adults now.

I also feel the same as you and Eve about child abuse.

My solution to the extremely unpleasant news articles -- I don't read them. I can't do anything about them, and there is no point in indulging in unrequitable rage.

I have worked in the medical field for many years, and what I have seen regarding what people can do to children, I do not ever want to see again.

I think, though, I do look forward to grandchildren. All the fun and none of the work.
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Isabel
CoS Magistra

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#227483 - 03/12/07 09:23 PM Re: I Don't Like Kids.... But.... [Re: Zaftig]
Shade Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 07/08/06
Posts: 6135
Loc: A Trailer Park
I was really curious if and what your response would be since I knew you were a nanny. When I read "I am not a kid lover" I was surprised! But after reading your post I understand what you mean.

Kid goo doesn't necessarily weird me out. Kid conversations, though, spike my "freaked out" rating so bad. It's the young ones who can't string a sentence together and talk some kind of kid babble foreign language that only their mommies or daddies can understand (the scary part is that some of them never grow out of this). I refuse to speak "baby talk" to ... well, anyone. Picture Shade extremely confused and unnerved saying very steadily, "I'm sorry but I have no idea what you are saying." This has one of two effects. Either they laugh and clap and continue to babble at me (probably saying - "I don't have a clue what you're saying either!! Haha and I don't CARE!") OR they get perturbed and my "freaked out" rating hits the moon. Because perturbed can so easily lead to crying. Crying babies are only slightly more scary than crying adults.

I like colouring. I will colour all day long with anyone. And I like swings if I'm the one being pushed.

Kids are definitely hard work and I consider it one of the most responsible decisions I have made to realize I am not parent material.

Quote:

It's my personal opinion that if people really understood just how difficult parenting can, they wouldn't do it. But no matter how hard it is, abuse is unacceptable. And I, the master of her emotions, will cry when I hear kids in the ER screaming at even a small cut. It resonates in a deeply primal part of me.




This was so well put, I read it half a dozen times. You've a talent for expressing things just so. I agree with it resonating on a deeply primal level. I'm not less of a woman because I don't bear children, just different.
_________________________
"What happens in the shadow, in the grey regions, also interests us all that is elusive and fugitive, all that can be said in those beautiful half tones, or in whispers, in deep shade." ~ The Brothers Quay

We're Just Regular People

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#227484 - 03/12/07 09:29 PM Re: I Don't Like Kids.... But.... [Re: Isabel23]
Danny Mc. Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 11/05/04
Posts: 2143
Loc: Taxationland
Quote:

They don't smell right.






I feel the same way as you on this issue Magistra and Magister Svengali about the abuse.
_________________________
"To be born into this world a sentient, self-conscious and reasoning being, surrounded by inexhaustible glories in Nature, which we may comprehend, possess,enjoy; to be able to rise on the wings of a lofty imagination; to be able to get glimpses of the ideally perfect; to apprehend the Divine; it is to the development and enjoyment of these high powers that the young man is invited. How dare he refuse to qualify himself by the most perfect training of all his powers." Lyman J. Gage 1910


"Follow Me!", John M. (Delta).

"I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think." Something Magistra Isabel posted. laugh

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#227485 - 03/12/07 09:51 PM Re: I Don't Like Kids.... But.... [Re: Bill_M]
Shade Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 07/08/06
Posts: 6135
Loc: A Trailer Park
Quote:

Usually upon finding that I'm childfree, the annoying "soccer mom"/"super dad" parent types get preachy on me. I don't know who's worse, the mothers or the fathers. "Oh, I used to say the same thing, but then I had my kind and..." I swear their passive-aggressive attacks are rooted in some kind of envy for me being single, or their own self-deceit to cover up their regrets of becoming a parent. The parents who seem secure in their decision seem just fine with my own decision, and don't get defensive.




I remember being at work in a meeting. Probably half a dozen girls in our office were pregnant at the time. One of the senior staff accountant ladies said to me (loudly), "So, how many children do you have?". Me, none. Miss Senior says, laughing, "Better get started! Time's running out!" I smiled sweetly and patiently and say, "I can't have children." Miss Senior continues, "Oh you'll change your mind! We all did, haha!" I waited for the laughter to die down in the room and in utter silence, so I wouldn't be misunderstood again, repeated, "I said I can't have children."

Talk about a way to shut up a conversation.

I don't know what I'd call myself. Childfree. Childless. A child. Maybe just Shade. I like how you talked about children defining people. That seems like the definition of psychic vampire in some way. Living their lives vicariously through their children. I picture the parents that get into fights at little league games in front of all of their kids.
_________________________
"What happens in the shadow, in the grey regions, also interests us all that is elusive and fugitive, all that can be said in those beautiful half tones, or in whispers, in deep shade." ~ The Brothers Quay

We're Just Regular People

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#227486 - 03/12/07 10:29 PM Re: I Don't Like Kids.... But.... [Re: Svengali]
Shade Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 07/08/06
Posts: 6135
Loc: A Trailer Park
Quote:

Children are innocent and should not be scarred by abuse, psychological, physical, or otherwise, because the result will invariably be a damaged adult more likely to propagate their damage on other children. Child abuse just fills the world with more damaged people.




A very pragmatic statement that I had completely forgotten about concerning child abuse. It is an unending cycle and for this reason everyone has a selfish reason in seeing it never happen.

Quote:

That is not to say children should be isolated from the world in plastic bubbles. In fact I think children should be made aware of the harsh realities of life as early as they are able to understand things, but not in the form of inflicted trauma. Adults who have led sheltered lives are repulsive.




This reminds me of my paternal grandma. We would pass by cemeteries where a fresh grave was being prepared and I was always incredibely curious. She would say, "That's just landscaping!!!" Or something like that. Grandma II (the non-Seventh Day Adventist) gave me the low down. I like the programs where they send juvy offenders or AA people to the morgue. I would actually enjoy being an ME during those presentations. "This is your brain - this is your brain on four hundred feet of asphault - any questions?"


We are in agreement on all the rest.
_________________________
"What happens in the shadow, in the grey regions, also interests us all that is elusive and fugitive, all that can be said in those beautiful half tones, or in whispers, in deep shade." ~ The Brothers Quay

We're Just Regular People

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#227487 - 03/12/07 11:01 PM Re: I Don't Like Kids.... But.... [Re: Isabel23]
Shade Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 07/08/06
Posts: 6135
Loc: A Trailer Park
Magistra Isabel,

You bring a kind, soothing tone to this entire subject for me - like ice cream after getting one's tonsils out. Seriously.

I am glad that I have not offended family folks like yourself with my post. I know there are good parents out there and family is so incredibely important.

I read the news articles because I really want to keep abreast of any ANY news concerning child predators. This is the kind of thing I can not abide. I sincerely support all laws that would take child predators out of circulation. That is the point of my repeated self inflicted horror. If I can make the smallest difference, I will. Unrequitable rage? <weak smile> ... Maybe. Mr. Svengali made reference to abused kids growing up to be abusive parents. Some times abused kids grow up to have unrequited rage instead of being parents.

In the medical field, objectification must be the key. I don't understand how anyone can survive in that field for long without a serious ability to compartmentalize.

Ms. Isabel, my mom is looking forward to grandchildren too... I'm glad I have a fertile twin sister who is crazy about kids.

Thank you so much for the comments.
_________________________
"What happens in the shadow, in the grey regions, also interests us all that is elusive and fugitive, all that can be said in those beautiful half tones, or in whispers, in deep shade." ~ The Brothers Quay

We're Just Regular People

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#227488 - 03/13/07 01:29 AM Re: I Don't Like Kids.... But.... [Re: Shade]
TrojZyr Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 07/25/01
Posts: 12990
Loc: The Solid State
It's weird. My perspective on kids is changing.

Three years ago or so, I would've agreed with your post 100%. Anyone who abuses a child needs to be disemboweled and hung out to dry, but don't think I want to babysit the smelly, loud, daft little bastards!

Lately, I've started to warm up to children of various sorts, and I've started to think about the importance of passing on my genes and memes. My parents have told me that I improved the quality of their life in so many ways, so I can't help but wonder how a kid would someday give me the same positive, enlightening experience. I even find some kids kind of cute now, though I'm hardly ready to actually take care of them myself.

And, I've started to find (genuinely attractive) pregnant women kind of sexy.

So, maybe my biological clock is starting play pranks on me.
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#227489 - 03/13/07 02:20 AM Re: I Don't Like Kids.... But.... [Re: Bill_M]
dckegel Offline


Registered: 03/12/07
Posts: 15
Loc: DC
I'm new and not an initiate. Familiar with LaVey's writings, but I'm a bit of a soloist. However I'm here.

On children, I have not had my own biological son or daughter, but I became involved, once, with a 1 month pregnant woman who was good company for the this time. Don't know what the Satanic stance is on love but it was certainly magnetism.

At any rate, I received, named & raised this child from birth to two & a half years & problems between his mother and myself resulted in separation.

During that two and a half years my experience with that child awoke certain areas of my brain that had been dormant. The love of a child is absolutely magical.

This does not mean it is for everyone or that those who feel no "pull" towards that life are missing everything.

It is apparent that the infernal plan includes the propagation of the species. Parenting correctly or incorrectly, we reap what we sow.

Love is the Law, Hail Satan

During


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#227490 - 03/13/07 08:08 AM Re: I Don't Like Kids.... But.... [Re: TrojZyr]
Zaftig Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 3409
Yes I felt a similar change in myself of late. I had been greatly undecided about children up until about age 27. After all, I figured, if I truly wanted a child I could probably fanangle some man to provide me with one.

However, I differed drastically from my girlfriends, because I refused to consider parenthood before considering a partnership. If I was going to be a parent, I was decidely firm on not raising a child alone.

Then, at sudden unprovoked moments, I would see a baby and long for one. Their smell just made me want to rub my face in their soft bellies.

I'd be forced to slap myself. It's just an innate reaction. Control yourself lex! Beware of our biological crafty hardwiring. It's damn tricky.

And for the record I'm still not decided.

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#227491 - 03/13/07 08:26 AM Re: I Don't Like Kids.... But.... [Re: Shade]
$lesk Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 10/29/02
Posts: 2318
Loc: Norway
Quote:

Although tongue-in-cheek-itis does make it difficult to give a decent blow job sometimes.




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