Perhaps this will lighten things up for you!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_067ahbXfg

If they have a Heaven House they'd be wise to have some caffeine available before the tour, unless their goal is to put people to sleep. Or is caffeine allowed in Heaven?

Whenever I'm on a set that's a church, I pretend that I'm a preacher the whole day.

I'll have my own little congregation and I'll go:

"Hmmmmmmmmm. Huuummmmmmhmmmmm. Aaaaaaaaahhhhh said the lode. (lord) Aaaaaaaaaahhhhh said I, I, I, I, I, I, looooooovve the lode. Heees been good. I said he been good."

And then someone's cellphone goes off and I'll go:

"You see. The lode is tryin' to tell ya. He tryin' to tell ya somethin'. He tryin' to tell ya to turn them muthafuckin' cellphones off on the set. Don't hate on me, hate over there. Don't hate on me, hate over there!"

HS!

That was great!

HS!

I don't know about that - people enjoy caffeine. It makes them alert. Being alert might make them think about things and get disgruntled.

Nope, there just can't be any caffeine in heaven. No chocolate either - too many people have described it as sinfully good. Can't have that.



Of course, this relies on Christian ideas of heaven. If we instead define it in the usual slang way of "the best place you can imagine", then Heaven is made of chocolate and candy with a caffeine river, a wine river, and a cream soda river. (Possibly others too, depending on demand.) And when you enter, they reconfigure your endocrine system so you can never suffer insulin shock or caffeine overdose shakiness.

Now, if they started advertising it like this, they just might see church attendence go up, so let's keep it our little secret, OK?

Quote:

---

I would wear something like that. A belt made of tiny Satanic Bibles, that would be so kewl!!

---

HaHa! I will put it on the list of things to do.

[*note to self: Frksgoddess would like a Satanic Bible Belt to accompany her wardrobe. Obtain permission and create if time permits.*]

I am anticipating a reply from administration something to the effect of:

>What the hell are you talking about???

>Please return to your asylum!

>Thank you.

"Hate over there!"

That's funny as hell!

A friend of mine goes to A.M.E. churches (I think that's what he told me) just for the great Hammond organ performances. I tell him it's usually worth the cover charge to not have to testify.

well, nothing extraordinary really.

i simply let anyone intrested in satanism read the satanic bible, its not like i do it by means of forcing someone to. Though, its really exciting for me to share this religion. Because the book is flawless, atleast for me it is. Whats better than sharing perfect sense for people who are blind or have been decieved? i would call it, in my own words, "Wake up call".

Regie Satanas!
Ave Satanas!
Hail Satan!

i would call it, in my own words, "Wake up call".

Maybe they would be more useful to you if you let them sleep?

I apologize ahead of time for necro-posting, but I did a lot of searching before finally finding this topic addressed here on the boards...



I am thinking that this may have applications above and beyond your local fundamentalist. The internet is full of people who are 'true believers' in everything from christ on toast to UFO's.....why not sell them reinforcing trinkets? Are these people not crying out to give me their money? Isn't this what televangelists have been doing for years?

Thank you for the inspiration!

Don't thank me.

Thank Jimmy Swaggert and others like him.

Elmer Gantry lives!

Hail Satan!

Darkest Greetings,
It has been awhile.Concerning the topic at hand, I have lived here(The Bible Belt)all my life and Magister Nemo is soooo very right.This place is a veritable cornucopia of fear and guilt waiting to be harvested.The looks of terrified awe when you say "I'm a Satanist" are seriously cool as I like to say.
Knoxville Tennessee is "Thumper country", a place where Jesus can get all you want if you know how to apply the guilt and fear of the Bible.
Come on down and see for yourself,HAIL SATAN
HAIL THE BIBLE BELT

Sorry. No caffeine in heaven. Just distilled water and those little communion things that taste like old newspaper.