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#232045 - 04/02/07 03:14 PM I am stuck in the Bible Belt.
Nemo Offline
CoS Magister

Registered: 10/06/02
Posts: 12592
Loc: Point Nemo s48:52:31:748, w123...
How many times have you read a variation on that theme posted on this board?

Ladies and Gentlemen, those of you fortunate to live in the Bible Belt have two incredible advantages over those stationed in other parts of the Western civilized world. To wit:

(1) If you are "out of the pit" as a Satanist to any extent you can still scare the Bejezzus out of the true believers who still exist in abundance around you.

Those of you who enjoy being visible as Satanists to one degree or another can still get a rise out of your neighbors in the Bible Belt. The rest of us scattered around Europe and North America get shrugs instead.

I know one remarkable Magister who has implanted horns and dresses to the Satanic nines as his normal persona. Yet because he is on the west coast of the United States people who see him are interested in his appearance - not all that shocked.

Can you imagine how frustrating that is?

So for all of you "open" Satanists in the Bible Belt - enjoy your anachronistic neighbors. They are a dying breed and you should enjoy them while you can.

(2) Those of you who are underground Satanists in the Bible Belt have rich resources to tap.

Surrounding you are mind-numbed true believers.

Frankly if you cannot leverage that kind of highly predictable mindset to your ultimate advantage then it is going to only be much harder for you to do so elsewhere.

Look at what you have going for yourselves:

Manipulation through guilt.

"As a God-fearing Christian I keep trying to sell these vacuum cleaners but no one will even listen to me. I suppose the Lord is testing me. Wish I had something to eat."

Manipulation from peer pressure.

"My Jesus fish emblem is there to let everyone know that I am a devout born-again Christian. If you can't trust a fellow church member, who can you trust? Sign here and press hard."

Manipulation through fear.

"I know I am safe in the saving hands of Jesus but I am such a sinner. It is not through "works alone" that we are saved but I figure that helping fellow Christians is something God wants us to do. Will that be credit card or cash?"

Satanism is about getting what you want from the world as it is.

If you are fortunate enough to be situated in the Bible Belt, you are in the midst of opportunity.

Indulge!

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#232046 - 04/02/07 04:32 PM Re: I am stuck in the Bible Belt. [Re: Nemo]
gypsy Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 07/04/01
Posts: 4749
Loc: Here
Quote:

How many times have you read a variation on that theme posted on this board




At last count I believe it was 400.

Great post Magister even though perhaps your tongue was planted firmly in your cheek.

A gem.

Hail Satan!
_________________________
"All the truth in the world adds up to one big lie."

"Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it."


Church of Satan

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#232047 - 04/02/07 04:36 PM Re: I am stuck in the Bible Belt. [Re: Nemo]
Unknown Offline
Unknown

Registered: 03/31/05
Posts: 1649
Yes!

Satanism is about taking the world you live in and using it for your benefit and pleasure.

Right on target, great post Sir!
_________________________









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#232048 - 04/02/07 07:36 PM Re: I am stuck in the Bible Belt. [Re: Nemo]
Jack_Lantern Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 07/06/05
Posts: 2785
Loc: America
Quote:

Can you imagine how frustrating that is?




To a lesser extent, I know how frustrating it is. I do not have any body mods but I know that if I still went to the trouble of dressing up, I would just be one more goth in the bay area.

The up side?

Goth chicks are hot.

This is an excellent post, I wish it would get stickied somewhere.
_________________________
"If a man empties his purse into his head no one can take it away from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest." -Benjamin Franklin

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#232049 - 04/02/07 07:50 PM Re: I am stuck in the Bible Belt. [Re: gypsy]
IRI Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 08/22/06
Posts: 127
Loc: Canada
Quote:

Quote:

How many times have you read a variation on that theme posted on this board




At last count I believe it was 400.

Great post Magister even though perhaps YOUR tongue was planted firmly in your cheek.

A gem.

Hail Satan!




You realize though, that should one merely move the tongue from the cheek, place it behind the teeth while smiling, and use the lesser magic of subtlety on the Good Magister's examples they actually work. Don't forget the good Doktor's lessons on Vampires as per The Book of Lucifer in TSB.

I use these every day with much success and amusement.

IRI

"I've got the trash if you got the cash, and maybe we can just get along fine. So give me all your money 'cuz I know you think I'm kinda funny. Can't you see us laughing, can't you see me smile. Cuz, I'm the Man!" - Joe Jackson

OR

"You've got my money in your wallet and I have what you need in my briefcase. So none of us are leavin' till we make a deal" - from a book on sales, circa 1950, that I read but can't recall the title.
_________________________
"Sheep to the right, Goats to the left"

"Where do people in Hell tell each other to go?"

"If we are all gods children, why is Christ so special?"

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#232050 - 04/02/07 07:58 PM Re: I am stuck in the Bible Belt. [Re: Nemo]
Noel Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 09/10/04
Posts: 1220
Loc: Amerika
I did not know you were stuck in the Bible Belt too, Magister, or else I'd have invited you over for some grits and cornbread.

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#232051 - 04/02/07 08:39 PM Re: I am stuck in the Bible Belt. [Re: IRI]
gypsy Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 07/04/01
Posts: 4749
Loc: Here
Quote:

You realize though, that should one merely move the tongue from the cheek, place it behind the teeth while smiling, and use the lesser magic of subtlety on the Good Magister's examples they actually work. Don't forget the good Doktor's lessons on Vampires as per The Book of Lucifer in TSB.




Do I realize? Why yes I do I was born that way you know.
_________________________
"All the truth in the world adds up to one big lie."

"Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it."


Church of Satan

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#232052 - 04/02/07 08:58 PM Ah! Home-cooked meals! [Re: Noel]
Nemo Offline
CoS Magister

Registered: 10/06/02
Posts: 12592
Loc: Point Nemo s48:52:31:748, w123...
Grits and a pull on the ole jug.

Maybe some fried chicken.


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#232053 - 04/02/07 09:18 PM Re: No more Vesica Syberia! [Re: Nemo]
redheadgrl Offline


Registered: 09/24/06
Posts: 273
Ha, today marks 6 years since I freed myself from the Bible Belt-or what I like to refer to as the Vesica Syberia. It is a self-proclaimed holiday for me!

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#232054 - 04/03/07 08:16 AM Re: No more Vesica Syberia! [Re: redheadgrl]
Evil_Eve Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 4234
Loc: 1313 Mockingbird Lane
Well, I must say that God is very much alive in the 'Hoosier State'. The hills here have more than eyes, they also have a whole lot of nuts!

I live in a fairly nice neighborhood (Suburbia if you will) and none of My neighbors talk to Me. Never have save for the pervert Sheriff who asked Me to mow My lawn in a bikini who lives across the street. He drives a Ford RUSTstang (it's to be expected)

My father once mused that maybe this is because it appears as if the angel of death is outside gardening in a full length black dress? Yes, ever see Morticia Addams with a pair of gardening gloves and hedge clippers? Me either but you will HERE.

Oh it's grand!

In any event, since these people don't talk to Me anyway, I thought I'd have a little bit of fun yesterday and went outside to check My mail in My Ritual Robe. I even wore the hood.

Who knows what they're saying, but I really don't care at this point. It was FUN!

Mind you, that I am in a place where certain body piercings scare the bejesus out of some folk.

I keep hoping that one of those Watch-Tower people will come pay a visit but alas, I am NEVER that fortunate.
_________________________
Satan LIVES!
If you could....would YOU?



"Our religion does not require martyrs."
Magistra Nadramia.

FEARED!
Revered.
YOU can be a voice for the voiceless.


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#232055 - 04/03/07 08:50 AM Singular Satanic perfection as always [Re: Nemo]
Evol Offline


Registered: 12/10/06
Posts: 34
Loc: Brisbane, Australia
Of all the posts I enjoy reading here Magister yours are at the top of my list. In everything I have read that you have written you leave no room for misunderstanding by eloquently entrapping the core message with your words. You truly impress me.

Given enough consideration I know that any situation can be manipulated for self benefit. That is how Satanism dominates and controls any and all other religions and indeed any other way of life.
_________________________
"There are problems in today's world that cannot be solved by the level of thinking that created them" Albert Einstein "A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life." Charles Darwin

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#232056 - 04/03/07 10:05 AM Re: I am stuck in the Bible Belt. [Re: Nemo]
Rodim Offline


Registered: 03/18/07
Posts: 239
An Excellent topic Nemo. i would also like to say something about another religion, Islam. Many people in my region are Islam, after doing some research about the "quran" and its scriptures. I have found out that the quran also uses Fear and other tools to make the reader become a believer. and its also full of false hopes and illusions. Exactly as Anton stated in the "Satanic Bible" about why martyrs are ready to die for their religion, and why its wrong and is a sin. Is there something the satanic bible haven't explained yet? I just love that book

Hail to the Ego!
Hail Satan!


Edited by Rodim (04/03/07 10:07 AM)
_________________________
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

-Friedrich Nietzsche

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

-Horace Walpole

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#232057 - 04/03/07 12:08 PM Re: I am stuck in the Bible Belt. [Re: Nemo]
TheNaturalForce Offline
Banned

Registered: 02/28/07
Posts: 511
Loc: The Vibrant Garden
Quote:

I know one remarkable Magister who has implanted horns and dresses to the Satanic nines as his normal persona. Yet because he is on the west coast of the United States people who see him are interested in his appearance - not all that shocked.




I have seen people with these modifications on several occasions and can attest that shock has little value in my region of the world. I can only imagine what might happen to someone with horns and a full Darkness costume if they were to be dropped off in the center of Christianville, USA.
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SNAP!

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#232058 - 04/03/07 12:33 PM Re: No more Vesica Syberia! [Re: Evil_Eve]
gypsy Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 07/04/01
Posts: 4749
Loc: Here
Quote:

In any event, since these people don't talk to Me anyway, I thought I'd have a little bit of fun yesterday and went outside to check My mail in My Ritual Robe. I even wore the hood.




I love it...Eve you are my kind of girl.
_________________________
"All the truth in the world adds up to one big lie."

"Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it."


Church of Satan

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#232059 - 04/03/07 12:33 PM Re: I am stuck in the Bible Belt. [Re: Nemo]
Overman Offline


Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 22
Loc: London, Ontario
Fantastic post, Nemo

It is interesting to see how lesser magic works in your location, as it is very different to mine. With where I live, people are straying much more from nihilism and it's quite easy to use wonder as a dominating ingredient.

For example, my haunted house last year was a fantastic hit (as well as a fantatic profit) due to my move to a fresh new place where the nihilists do not hold sway. These fresh minds were easy to befuddle and use, since it is a small town and I walk (and run) most of the time, every last person would literally go aside of the sidewalk or road on to people's lawns and just stare as I went by.

Quite an improvement from my last interaction with nihilists

Hail Satan!
_________________________
Thus spoke Overman. Within these words lie fact and fancy, truth and metaphor, discriminate with care.

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#232060 - 04/03/07 12:36 PM Re: I am stuck in the Bible Belt. [Re: gypsy]
Groundhog Offline


Registered: 10/12/06
Posts: 306
It reminds me of a little ditty my Grandaddy wrote and it goes like this: I'm Stuck in the Bible Belt ain't no moving vans in sight, got no money got no honey, aw, aw, awawaw
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H S

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#232061 - 04/03/07 12:36 PM Re: No more Vesica Syberia! [Re: gypsy]
Evil_Eve Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 4234
Loc: 1313 Mockingbird Lane
Quote:

Quote:

In any event, since these people don't talk to Me anyway, I thought I'd have a little bit of fun yesterday and went outside to check My mail in My Ritual Robe. I even wore the hood.




I love it...Eve you are my kind of girl.







Likewise My friend, likewise.

EDIT!
Oh MY! I almost forgot something you may find comical. Last year..... I was in My 1970 Plymouth Roadrunner (4 speed pistol grip 383 dual exaust SET UP FOR RACE BABY) which... of course calls attention in itself. Loud, large, in charge! But guess what?

It's hot as Hades and Me? I put on a bat girl/cat woman mask (vinyl) tight fitting and just....drove with it on. The stop lights were hilarious! I think I almost caused 7 wrecks that day. I was sweating, I was uncomfortable but I just had the giggles the whole time I was driving.

Face it... how often do you pull up to a stop light next to a mammoth beast of a muscle car with some tiny chick barely able to reach the gas pedal wearing a vinyl cat woman mask? NEVER!

I love the simple things in life. Someone.....I have no doubts is STILL talking about that to this day. I am immortal!!!!!! Muahahahah!

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#232062 - 04/03/07 02:07 PM Re: Ah! Home-cooked meals! [Re: Nemo]
Van der Aart Offline


Registered: 02/04/07
Posts: 112
" Grits and a pull on the ole jug.

Maybe some fried chicken.


"



Let Us not forget watermellon and colla-greens.

More seriously though, I was wondering why people think that living in the "Bible Belt" is such a bad thing.

If it was named "Satanic Bible Belt," I am sure that would draw an entirely different picture.

It is named "the Bible Belt." So what?

It is not like it is named "if-you-live-here-you-can-not-be-Satanic-because-this-is-the-south-and-you-have-no-constitutional-rights-here"

After all, life is what an individual makes out of it.

I am sure that could be said about where one lives as well.

Excellent post, Magister Nemo!

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#232063 - 04/03/07 02:57 PM Lots of Moslems where you live? [Re: Rodim]
Nemo Offline
CoS Magister

Registered: 10/06/02
Posts: 12592
Loc: Point Nemo s48:52:31:748, w123...
Why you must be in Mississippi!

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#232064 - 04/03/07 03:01 PM Re: I am stuck in the Bible Belt. [Re: TheNaturalForce]
Nemo Offline
CoS Magister

Registered: 10/06/02
Posts: 12592
Loc: Point Nemo s48:52:31:748, w123...
There is a video documentary called "Hell House" which is a "haunted house" attraction a Christian church has put on as morality plays to convert the wicked.

I found it very amusing to see the audience reaction to devils dragging sinners off to Hell.

The Bible Belt.

What a great place to be a Satanist!

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#232065 - 04/03/07 03:21 PM Re: I am stuck in the Bible Belt. [Re: Nemo]
RandomStranger Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 03/09/05
Posts: 2770
Loc: Here.
I got that from a popular mail-in DVD service. It was great to see the gusto and seriousness the missionaries had for what they "believe" is an important witnessing device. I especially enjoyed the not-so-well-read resident "expert" on the rave scene. His commentary had me howling with laughter!

I missed the ending though, the DVD that was sent to me had a crack in it but it was still a real hoot nonetheless.
_________________________




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#232066 - 04/03/07 03:56 PM Re: The ending. [Re: RandomStranger]
Nemo Offline
CoS Magister

Registered: 10/06/02
Posts: 12592
Loc: Point Nemo s48:52:31:748, w123...
Everyone went to Hell!

Actually the last "room" the group enters is normally lit with a really big guy who explained how everything they had seen were scenes in which someone died and either went to Hell or were saved by an angel because they had - even at the last second! - asked for Jesus to save them!

(Hint! Hint! )

So he then explained that there were two exits from Hell House. There was the one that simply left them on the road to Hell, and then there was this other door they could enter where church members were waiting to pray with them to ask Jesus to save them.

Then the big guy explained that they only had a few seconds to make up their minds and began counting backwards from 10 (or was it 5?).

Right then about half the group made for the salvation door!

I figured that must be where the donuts were.

It is always important to have shills and I have no doubt that everyone pro-Christian goes to Hell House and gets saved again on cue, but despite the incredibly heavy handed acting and stilted dialog, where else in the Western world can you go to see audience members shocked when devils drag someone offstage to Hell!

Everywhere else, they would laugh or roll their eyes!

The deep South!

What a great place to live!

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#232067 - 04/03/07 04:49 PM Re: The ending. [Re: Nemo]
RandomStranger Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 03/09/05
Posts: 2770
Loc: Here.
It does seem a bit obvious, but I wouldn't have thought of that for an ending.

There, but for the Face of Bob, go I.

_________________________




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#232068 - 04/03/07 05:07 PM Re: I am stuck in the Bible Belt. [Re: Nemo]
Blackened_Son Offline


Registered: 03/21/07
Posts: 244
Loc: Wisconsin
You hit the nail right on its head on this one wonderful post! I myself lived in Idaho for a short time. Which in my opinion is just as bad as the bible belt, but there you get the morons. They are very easy to manipulate all you have to do is know what angles to hit, and you good as gold. Plus morons are so very gullable thats it's almost like taking candy from a baby..

Once again wonderful post!

Hail Satan!
_________________________
"There are many would take my time. I shun them
There are some who would share my time. I am entertaned by them
There are precious few who contribute to my time. I cherish them"
Dr.Anton Szandor LaVey

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#232069 - 04/03/07 08:34 PM Re: Ah! Home-cooked meals! [Re: Van der Aart]
Unknown Offline
Unknown

Registered: 03/31/05
Posts: 1649
Quote:

It is named "the Bible Belt." So what?





Exactly!

It matters not what type of belt it is, just so long as you can utilize it to your advantage and keep your pants up.
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#232070 - 04/03/07 10:57 PM Re: No more Vesica Syberia! [Re: Evil_Eve]
redheadgrl Offline


Registered: 09/24/06
Posts: 273
I love your new avatar Evil_Eve! Who are the Watch-Tower people?

I made the mistake of doing a Tarot card reading on one of those native Bible-Belters. It was all in good fun-or so I thought. Until the guy whose "fortune" I read became really uncomfortable and excused himself. Next thing I knew I was deemed the dark sinister one who was well-practiced in the evil arts of the netherworld. I heard legends about myself for 3 years afterwards.
His friends would arrive on my doorstep and ask for a reading or try to make up an excuse to be invited in, so they could inventory the rooms and find some "artifacts" to prove my evil identity. They had no idea of what to think of my books by Jung. After a while I stopped "denying" the accusations and started to agree with them. There are some BORED people living in the Bible Belt.


Edited by redheadgrl (04/03/07 11:18 PM)

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#232071 - 04/03/07 11:01 PM Re: No more Vesica Syberia! [Re: redheadgrl]
Evil_Eve Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 4234
Loc: 1313 Mockingbird Lane
Thank you!

In response to your question:

Jehovah's Witnesses.

These people crack Me up! I mean really they do. Let's see here.....only 144 thousand people will be 'saved' and go to heaven.

You would think......... if you were logical........ that if only 144K will be saved that you just might keep that secret under your hat so to speak just to make sure you were one of the 144K to get into heaven.

Whacky stuff!

Just read your edited version of your post so I'll add something to this one which is very similar in nature.

I got suspended from High School for doing a Tarot Card reading in the ladies restroom on a lunch break. After that I found out that I was a 'self proclaimed Witch' I was a legend,and far more sinister and wicked than I had EVER imagined Myself.

Yes, people here are quite bored, but it does give them at least some type of meaning to their mundane lives. I'm a helper! I like to help!
_________________________
Satan LIVES!
If you could....would YOU?



"Our religion does not require martyrs."
Magistra Nadramia.

FEARED!
Revered.
YOU can be a voice for the voiceless.


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#232072 - 04/03/07 11:09 PM Re: No more Vesica Syberia! [Re: Evil_Eve]
gypsy Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 07/04/01
Posts: 4749
Loc: Here
No! The story is after Armagedon 144 thousand people will be go to heaven and the rest stay here and clean up the mess.
_________________________
"All the truth in the world adds up to one big lie."

"Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it."


Church of Satan

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#232073 - 04/03/07 11:11 PM Re: No more Vesica Syberia! [Re: gypsy]
Evil_Eve Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 4234
Loc: 1313 Mockingbird Lane
Fun! I'm calling in sick on that day.
_________________________
Satan LIVES!
If you could....would YOU?



"Our religion does not require martyrs."
Magistra Nadramia.

FEARED!
Revered.
YOU can be a voice for the voiceless.


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#232074 - 04/03/07 11:18 PM Re: No more Vesica Syberia! [Re: Evil_Eve]
gypsy Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 07/04/01
Posts: 4749
Loc: Here
Yep let's play hooky...we can hang out at Satan's lair.
_________________________
"All the truth in the world adds up to one big lie."

"Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it."


Church of Satan

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#232075 - 04/03/07 11:19 PM Re: No more Vesica Syberia! [Re: gypsy]
Evil_Eve Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 4234
Loc: 1313 Mockingbird Lane
Well he always does throw the best parties!
_________________________
Satan LIVES!
If you could....would YOU?



"Our religion does not require martyrs."
Magistra Nadramia.

FEARED!
Revered.
YOU can be a voice for the voiceless.


Top
#232076 - 04/03/07 11:21 PM Re: No more Vesica Syberia! [Re: Evil_Eve]
redheadgrl Offline


Registered: 09/24/06
Posts: 273
You're welcome!

You'd think they'd fight each other to maintain their status as a "chosen" one.

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#232077 - 04/03/07 11:22 PM Re: No more Vesica Syberia! [Re: gypsy]
redheadgrl Offline


Registered: 09/24/06
Posts: 273
Now that is something to look forward to! Will they spend eternity cleaning?

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#232078 - 04/03/07 11:24 PM Re: No more Vesica Syberia! [Re: Evil_Eve]
gypsy Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 07/04/01
Posts: 4749
Loc: Here
.


Attachments
417207-Bewitchedfly.JPG (29 downloads)

_________________________
"All the truth in the world adds up to one big lie."

"Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it."


Church of Satan

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#232079 - 04/03/07 11:25 PM Re: No more Vesica Syberia! [Re: Evil_Eve]
redheadgrl Offline


Registered: 09/24/06
Posts: 273
Quote:

Face it... how often do you pull up to a stop light next to a mammoth beast of a muscle car with some tiny chick barely able to reach the gas pedal wearing a vinyl cat woman mask? NEVER!




Oh, if only I'd been there with my camera!

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#232080 - 04/03/07 11:31 PM Re: No more Vesica Syberia! [Re: redheadgrl]
gypsy Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 07/04/01
Posts: 4749
Loc: Here
Hmm I not too hip on the rest of the story...
_________________________
"All the truth in the world adds up to one big lie."

"Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it."


Church of Satan

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#232081 - 04/04/07 12:03 AM Re: I am stuck in the Bible Belt. [Re: Nemo]
tovasshi Offline


Registered: 02/16/05
Posts: 1415
Loc: Banana, Canada
My parents live in a Bible belt. It really isn't the religion aspect of it that makes it annoying, it is the hard drug use and alcoholism that annoys me.

And boy do they like cute little girls. I have gotten so much free shit for being a cute little sweet heart. Most of the girls in that town lack class. So, to them it's a relief to meet such an sweet innocent young lady.

I never get hit on, I just get free stuff for being really cute.
_________________________
Hi.

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#232082 - 04/04/07 12:30 AM Re: No more Vesica Syberia! [Re: gypsy]
redheadgrl Offline


Registered: 09/24/06
Posts: 273
If they show up our doors and volunteer to clean, we'll know what happened.

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#232083 - 04/04/07 12:36 AM Re: No more Vesica Syberia! [Re: redheadgrl]
gypsy Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 07/04/01
Posts: 4749
Loc: Here
Well if they show up with a mop and broom instead of a bible I just might invite them in.
_________________________
"All the truth in the world adds up to one big lie."

"Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it."


Church of Satan

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#232084 - 04/04/07 12:39 AM Re: No more Vesica Syberia! [Re: gypsy]
Evil_Eve Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 4234
Loc: 1313 Mockingbird Lane
Quote:

Well if they show up with a mop and broom instead of a bible I just might invite them in.




Ahahahahah!
_________________________
Satan LIVES!
If you could....would YOU?



"Our religion does not require martyrs."
Magistra Nadramia.

FEARED!
Revered.
YOU can be a voice for the voiceless.


Top
#232085 - 04/04/07 12:46 AM Re: I am stuck in the Bible Belt. [Re: Nemo]
Dark_Adept Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 12/08/05
Posts: 884
Loc: High Hades
Judging from your elusive and cryptic reference to your locale, I'm assuming "Point Nemo" is in the bible belt and not in the West Indies as I first thought.
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No Good Deed Goes Unpunished coopdevil

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#232086 - 04/04/07 12:52 AM Re: I am stuck in the Bible Belt. [Re: Nemo]
Dark_Adept Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 12/08/05
Posts: 884
Loc: High Hades
Actually I remember those good ol days when LA was abound with the "moral majority" and such stale TV shows as "Small Wonder" and "Davy and Goliath." If it wasn't for the controversy of the underlying homosexual overtones of my He-Man cartoons of my childhood there wouldn't probably been anything else worth watching. I haven't been to the Bible belt in about 12 years and I've pretty much had my fill of freaked out jesus freaks (the entertaining ones that act like a frightened Amos n' Andy and the ones that do a great Norman Bates impression without meaning to). "The Panic" as I liked to call it was fun back in those days but I don't think I could stomach being around those bumpkin moralists again at the age I am now. But I agree it can be fun and perhaps they are a dying breed. If it wasn't for Bush I would've forgotten about them by now.
_________________________
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished coopdevil

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#232087 - 04/04/07 12:58 AM Re: No more Vesica Syberia! [Re: Evil_Eve]
redheadgrl Offline


Registered: 09/24/06
Posts: 273
I'd listen to their smack if they clean while talking. They wouldn't notice the ear plugs with my big mass o' hair.

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#232088 - 04/04/07 03:02 AM Re: I am stuck in the Bible Belt. [Re: Nemo]
Bill_M Offline
CoS Magister

Registered: 07/28/01
Posts: 11566
Loc: New England, USA
Quote:

There is a video documentary called "Hell House" which is a "haunted house" attraction a Christian church has put on as morality plays to convert the wicked.




A few years back, David Cross and some other professional comedians actually perfomed "Hell House" as a comedy act. Advertisements stressed how they didn't change a single word of the original routine.
_________________________
Reverend Bill M.

http://www.devilsmischief.com: Carnal Comedy Clips, Netherworld Novelty Numbers,
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#232089 - 04/04/07 08:15 AM Re: I am stuck in the Bible Belt. [Re: Bill_M]
Evil_Eve Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 4234
Loc: 1313 Mockingbird Lane
_________________________
Satan LIVES!
If you could....would YOU?



"Our religion does not require martyrs."
Magistra Nadramia.

FEARED!
Revered.
YOU can be a voice for the voiceless.


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#232090 - 04/04/07 10:13 AM Re: I am stuck in the Bible Belt. [Re: Nemo]
Roho_the_Rooster Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 03/10/05
Posts: 6999
Loc: Pre-Apocalypolis
Very good.
To paraphrase the fictitios vampire, Spike...Christians...So many walking Happy Meals.
_________________________
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"Life is the only race you lose by reaching the end." - M.M.

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#232091 - 04/04/07 02:23 PM Heaven House? [Re: Evil_Eve]
Nemo Offline
CoS Magister

Registered: 10/06/02
Posts: 12592
Loc: Point Nemo s48:52:31:748, w123...
Makes one wonder what would happen if someone reversed the whole thing and offered "Heaven House".

"You are entering Heaven. You will not longer be allowed to enjoy any of the sins of the earth such as sex, good food or alcoholic beverages.

"You will need to sing the praises of God at all times.

"You will need to wear white robes and carry a harp.

You will need to only think 'happy thoughts' and obedience to God's Will must be 100% at all times."

Wow.

Imagine going from room to room and having to watch that go on! Mark Twain could be used for some of the dialog.

And at the end you could offer the same choice: Heaven or Hell - only the Church members in the Hell room could be having one hell of a party!

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#232092 - 04/04/07 02:31 PM Re: Lots of Moslems where you live? [Re: Nemo]
Rodim Offline


Registered: 03/18/07
Posts: 239

I'm from Israel, this country happens to be heavily populated with Muslims. The so called "promise land". Full of problems here, religious and political, the only promise i see here is death
_________________________
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

-Friedrich Nietzsche

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

-Horace Walpole

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#232093 - 04/04/07 02:36 PM Israel! [Re: Rodim]
Nemo Offline
CoS Magister

Registered: 10/06/02
Posts: 12592
Loc: Point Nemo s48:52:31:748, w123...
Yikes! You really are in the middle of it!

Have you considered moving to Mississippi?

I lied about all the Moslems in Mississippi.

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#232094 - 04/04/07 02:37 PM Re: Heaven House? [Re: Nemo]
Evil_Eve Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 4234
Loc: 1313 Mockingbird Lane
Quote:

Imagine going from room to room and having to watch that go on! Mark Twain could be used for some of the dialog.

And at the end you could offer the same choice: Heaven or Hell - only the Church members in the Hell room could be having one hell of a party!




Exactly!



All I know is if their nutty God WERE to exist it wouldn't change My feelings at all. I really don't care if he does or not.

I would gladly enter through the gates of Hell if anything, to avoid those creepy Brady Bunch type singers in the white sheets and tamborines! What kind of a lame party is that?
_________________________
Satan LIVES!
If you could....would YOU?



"Our religion does not require martyrs."
Magistra Nadramia.

FEARED!
Revered.
YOU can be a voice for the voiceless.


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#232095 - 04/04/07 02:39 PM Re: Israel! [Re: Nemo]
Rodim Offline


Registered: 03/18/07
Posts: 239
maybe Boston, my uncle lives there. i'm eager to see America, cant wait
_________________________
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

-Friedrich Nietzsche

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

-Horace Walpole

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#232096 - 04/04/07 02:51 PM Re: Israel! [Re: Rodim]
Nemo Offline
CoS Magister

Registered: 10/06/02
Posts: 12592
Loc: Point Nemo s48:52:31:748, w123...
Boston is a great US city.

I only wish that Israel were located in Baja California. You guys deserve a more civilized set of neighbors!

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#232097 - 04/04/07 02:55 PM Re: I am stuck in the Bible Belt. [Re: Nemo]
zouzoumamoux Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 01/30/05
Posts: 119
Loc: The Infernal Empire
All this talk of the bible belt has made me want to revisit an old idea of mine...

The Bible Belt BUCKLE...an accessory which furnishes reading material to your partner whilst on their knees............

A most enjoyable post Magister Nemo....Thank You

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#232098 - 04/04/07 02:59 PM Re: Israel! [Re: Nemo]
Rodim Offline


Registered: 03/18/07
Posts: 239
yep. after im done with my studies, il visit California. and affiliate with the CoS. Which reminds me by the way, i have talked to some of my friends about religion. and gave them the satanic bible to read, because they were interested. i feel proud to spread Anton LaVey's work to the people that have been blind folded from the truth.
_________________________
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

-Friedrich Nietzsche

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

-Horace Walpole

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#232099 - 04/05/07 11:22 AM Re: No more Vesica Syberia! [Re: Evil_Eve]
uncivil_serpent Offline


Registered: 01/09/07
Posts: 40
Loc: alabama
Ahh the Jehovas Witnesses. I unfortunately live directly beside one of their "churches", but after being greeted at the door with a gun and the sigil of Baphomet hanging from my neck they trouble me no more.
_________________________
"I cannot imagine a God who rewards and punishes the objects of his creation, whose purposes are modeled after our own -- a God, in short, who is but a reflection of human frailty. Neither can I believe that the individual survives the death of his body, although feeble souls harbor such thoughts through fear or ridiculous egotism." [Einstein]

"Faith means not wanting to know what is true." [Nietzsche]

Hail Satan!

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#232100 - 04/05/07 12:44 PM Re: I am stuck in the Bible Belt. [Re: zouzoumamoux]
RandomStranger Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 03/09/05
Posts: 2770
Loc: Here.
If you look at the "Bible Belt" from a satellite, you'll notice that the buckle is shaped a lot like the USA.
_________________________




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#232101 - 04/05/07 12:57 PM Re: Ah! Home-cooked meals! [Re: Van der Aart]
Frksgoddess Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 468
Loc: Grand Forks, ND
Quote:

"Satanic Bible Belt,"



I would wear something like that. A belt made of tiny Satanic Bibles, that would be so kewl!!
_________________________
Frksgoddess
Hail Me!!
Hail Satan!

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#232102 - 04/05/07 02:48 PM Re: Mississippi [Re: Nemo]
Callier Offline

CoS Warlock

Registered: 08/30/06
Posts: 2210
Quote:

Have you considered moving to Mississippi?




I remember visiting my grandaunt in Laurel every summer when I was little. Those churches down there are pretty hardcore.

I was only about 6 or 7 years old when I first went to church in Mississippi. I sat with my grandparents in the front row.

After all the boring shit, things got quite hectic. The music became faster and everyone started going crazy. There was a piano player right in front of me and she kept giving me the meanest look because I was the only one in there not moved by the sermon.

She played that piano with furious anger. She looked at me and shouted "SING THE SONG!"

I shrugged my shoulders because I didn't know any of the words. She shouted again. "SING IT! SING THE SONG!"

I was so scared that I jumped up and ran outside the church. I begged my grandaunt to never ever take me to that church again.

Whoa. Just thinking about that incident gives me the creeps. Mississippi churches are the craziest!

HS!
_________________________
$$$ Get Rich or Die Tryin' $$$

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#232103 - 04/05/07 02:55 PM Re: Mississippi [Re: Callier]
Evil_Eve Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 4234
Loc: 1313 Mockingbird Lane


Callier, you already know how I feel about you but you once again cracked Me up.

My own Mother (We do not speak now) used to find a new religion every week. I have to guess that she STILL DOES to this day.

One time.......she took Me to an all black Church in the deep South.

All the women were on one side of the Church.
All the men folk were on the other side.

The Reverend was a ball of wonder and confusion. He was like.....James Brown but add 100 or so pounds.

I didn't know anything about this religion (which I later found out was Baptist).

Black Baptist vs/White Baptist are TOTALLY DIFFERENT!

We were the only white specs in that Church that night.

I had a FREAKING BLAST! I had NEVER and I do mean NEVER witnessed anything like this before in My small life.

It was like a concert. Like a SHOW!

The Reverand 'sang' his sermon.

It was all about 'Namon'. You know, that guy that got dunked under the water or something...

He had beads of sweat on his forehead. I remember that very well!
He had a hankee. He would wipe away the sweat and do a dance. His legs would seem to lose their muscles at certain points.

He would stumble and say:

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd Namon went down the ONE TIME! (The Ladies of the Church were fanning themselves and saying Amen!)

The men were shouting Preach it Brother!

Anddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd Namon went down the TWO TIME!

LORDY! AMEN! (Shouts resonate througout the small chapel).

Sincerely, this was like the BEST Church experience I ever had next to the time when I visited Aunt Patty (RIP) who took Me to one of those Pentacostal meetings where they had snakes and running in the spirit and speaking in tongues.

Anyway, that black church ROCKED as far as I am concerned. I also liked the Reverends little Ooooooooooo oooooooooooooo's (kind of like Little Richard). It was so awesome!

I will NEVER forget these experiences. I am smiling right now.
_________________________
Satan LIVES!
If you could....would YOU?



"Our religion does not require martyrs."
Magistra Nadramia.

FEARED!
Revered.
YOU can be a voice for the voiceless.


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#232104 - 04/05/07 03:44 PM Re: Mississippi [Re: Callier]
Rodim Offline


Registered: 03/18/07
Posts: 239
No shit sherlock, "SING THE SONG!"
_________________________
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

-Friedrich Nietzsche

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

-Horace Walpole

Top
#232105 - 04/05/07 04:34 PM Re: Israel! [Re: Rodim]
RandomStranger Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 03/09/05
Posts: 2770
Loc: Here.
Quote:

yep. after im done with my studies, il visit California. and affiliate with the CoS. Which reminds me by the way, i have talked to some of my friends about religion. and gave them the satanic bible to read, because they were interested. i feel proud to spread Anton LaVey's work to the people that have been blind folded from the truth.



I'm wondering how you plan to do that.
_________________________




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#232106 - 04/05/07 05:45 PM Well, Sing This, Then! [Re: Callier]
Isabel23 Offline
CoS Magistra

Registered: 12/17/02
Posts: 2041
Perhaps this will lighten things up for you!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_067ahbXfg

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#232107 - 04/05/07 10:19 PM Re: Heaven House? [Re: Nemo]
redheadgrl Offline


Registered: 09/24/06
Posts: 273
If they have a Heaven House they'd be wise to have some caffeine available before the tour, unless their goal is to put people to sleep. Or is caffeine allowed in Heaven?

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#232108 - 04/05/07 10:28 PM Re: Well, Sing This, Then! [Re: Isabel23]
Evil_Eve Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 4234
Loc: 1313 Mockingbird Lane
Quote:

Perhaps this will lighten things up for you!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_067ahbXfg




LOL!

Thank you Magistra! Priceless.
_________________________
Satan LIVES!
If you could....would YOU?



"Our religion does not require martyrs."
Magistra Nadramia.

FEARED!
Revered.
YOU can be a voice for the voiceless.


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#232109 - 04/06/07 12:46 PM Re: Black churches [Re: Evil_Eve]
Callier Offline

CoS Warlock

Registered: 08/30/06
Posts: 2210


Whenever I'm on a set that's a church, I pretend that I'm a preacher the whole day.

I'll have my own little congregation and I'll go:

"Hmmmmmmmmm. Huuummmmmmhmmmmm. Aaaaaaaaahhhhh said the lode. (lord) Aaaaaaaaaahhhhh said I, I, I, I, I, I, looooooovve the lode. Heees been good. I said he been good."

And then someone's cellphone goes off and I'll go:

"You see. The lode is tryin' to tell ya. He tryin' to tell ya somethin'. He tryin' to tell ya to turn them muthafuckin' cellphones off on the set. Don't hate on me, hate over there. Don't hate on me, hate over there!"

HS!
_________________________
$$$ Get Rich or Die Tryin' $$$

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#232110 - 04/06/07 12:48 PM Re: Well, Sing This, Then! [Re: Isabel23]
Callier Offline

CoS Warlock

Registered: 08/30/06
Posts: 2210
That was great!

HS!
_________________________
$$$ Get Rich or Die Tryin' $$$

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#232111 - 04/06/07 03:26 PM Re: Heaven House? [Re: redheadgrl]
Maqlu Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 03/10/07
Posts: 1673
I don't know about that - people enjoy caffeine. It makes them alert. Being alert might make them think about things and get disgruntled.

Nope, there just can't be any caffeine in heaven. No chocolate either - too many people have described it as sinfully good. Can't have that.



Of course, this relies on Christian ideas of heaven. If we instead define it in the usual slang way of "the best place you can imagine", then Heaven is made of chocolate and candy with a caffeine river, a wine river, and a cream soda river. (Possibly others too, depending on demand.) And when you enter, they reconfigure your endocrine system so you can never suffer insulin shock or caffeine overdose shakiness.

Now, if they started advertising it like this, they just might see church attendence go up, so let's keep it our little secret, OK?

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#232112 - 04/06/07 03:49 PM Re: Ah! Home-cooked meals! [Re: Frksgoddess]
Van der Aart Offline


Registered: 02/04/07
Posts: 112
Quote:

I would wear something like that. A belt made of tiny Satanic Bibles, that would be so kewl!!




HaHa! I will put it on the list of things to do.

[*note to self: Frksgoddess would like a Satanic Bible Belt to accompany her wardrobe. Obtain permission and create if time permits.*]

I am anticipating a reply from administration something to the effect of:

>What the hell are you talking about???

>Please return to your asylum!

>Thank you.


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#232113 - 04/06/07 08:27 PM Re: Black churches [Re: Callier]
RandomStranger Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 03/09/05
Posts: 2770
Loc: Here.
"Hate over there!"

That's funny as hell!

A friend of mine goes to A.M.E. churches (I think that's what he told me) just for the great Hammond organ performances. I tell him it's usually worth the cover charge to not have to testify.

_________________________




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#232114 - 04/07/07 03:46 PM Re: Israel! [Re: RandomStranger]
Rodim Offline


Registered: 03/18/07
Posts: 239
well, nothing extraordinary really.

i simply let anyone intrested in satanism read the satanic bible, its not like i do it by means of forcing someone to. Though, its really exciting for me to share this religion. Because the book is flawless, atleast for me it is. Whats better than sharing perfect sense for people who are blind or have been decieved? i would call it, in my own words, "Wake up call".

Regie Satanas!
Ave Satanas!
Hail Satan!
_________________________
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

-Friedrich Nietzsche

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

-Horace Walpole

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#232115 - 04/08/07 04:52 PM Re: Israel! [Re: Rodim]
Old_Pig Offline


Registered: 11/27/02
Posts: 3969
Loc: The Deep South
i would call it, in my own words, "Wake up call".

Maybe they would be more useful to you if you let them sleep?
_________________________
You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once.
Robert A. Heinlein


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#278497 - 10/21/07 08:36 PM Re: I am stuck in the Bible Belt. [Re: Nemo]
PKid Offline


Registered: 10/16/07
Posts: 16
Loc: Texas
I apologize ahead of time for necro-posting, but I did a lot of searching before finally finding this topic addressed here on the boards...

 Originally Posted By: Nemo
(2) Those of you who are underground Satanists in the Bible Belt have rich resources to tap.

Surrounding you are mind-numbed true believers.

Frankly if you cannot leverage that kind of highly predictable mindset to your ultimate advantage then it is going to only be much harder for you to do so elsewhere.


I am thinking that this may have applications above and beyond your local fundamentalist. The internet is full of people who are 'true believers' in everything from christ on toast to UFO's.....why not sell them reinforcing trinkets? Are these people not crying out to give me their money? Isn't this what televangelists have been doing for years?

Thank you for the inspiration!
_________________________
Student

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#278524 - 10/22/07 12:26 AM Re: I am stuck in the Bible Belt. [Re: PKid]
Nemo Offline
CoS Magister

Registered: 10/06/02
Posts: 12592
Loc: Point Nemo s48:52:31:748, w123...
Don't thank me.

Thank Jimmy Swaggert and others like him.

Elmer Gantry lives!

Hail Satan!

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#278560 - 10/22/07 03:55 AM Re: I am stuck in the Bible Belt. [Re: Nemo]
Prince_Satanicus Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 08/14/02
Posts: 1556
Loc: KNOXVILLE, Tennessee, (THE BLA...
Darkest Greetings,
It has been awhile.Concerning the topic at hand, I have lived here(The Bible Belt)all my life and Magister Nemo is soooo very right.This place is a veritable cornucopia of fear and guilt waiting to be harvested.The looks of terrified awe when you say "I'm a Satanist" are seriously cool as I like to say.
Knoxville Tennessee is "Thumper country", a place where Jesus can get all you want if you know how to apply the guilt and fear of the Bible.
Come on down and see for yourself,HAIL SATAN
HAIL THE BIBLE BELT
_________________________
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger"
"The dreams of youth are the regrets of maturity"

HAIL SATAN
HAIL ANTON LAVEY
HAIL ME

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#278577 - 10/22/07 07:05 AM Re: I am stuck in the Bible Belt. [Re: redheadgrl]
AztecRed Offline


Registered: 05/28/07
Posts: 65
Loc: Oklahoma
 Originally Posted By: redheadgrl
If they have a Heaven House they'd be wise to have some caffeine available before the tour, unless their goal is to put people to sleep. Or is caffeine allowed in Heaven?


Sorry. No caffeine in heaven. Just distilled water and those little communion things that taste like old newspaper.
_________________________
http://www.thechurchofgoogle.org/

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#278745 - 10/23/07 04:02 AM Re: I am stuck in the Bible Belt. [Re: Nemo]
Citizen Jonesy Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 09/22/02
Posts: 995
Loc: Palm Springs, California, USA
 Quote:
Manipulation from peer pressure.

"My Jesus fish emblem is there to let everyone know that I am a devout born-again Christian. If you can't trust a fellow church member, who can you trust? Sign here and press hard."


I've used that one.

Back when I was in JROTC, we used to sell goodies door to door to fund trips such as 29 Palms, MCRD San Diego and Parris Island, and Camp Lajune, among others. There I would be in my short sleeve khakis, ribbons and a little gold cross that would stick out of my collar at the very tip. Sometimes, if I knew the person was a devout Xtian, I would tell them that I plan to use these trips to preach the word to my fellow cadets and Marines I met on the trips.

That's how I got my Civic Service Medal! Suckers!
_________________________
Hail Satan!
Jonesy
I° Member, Church Of Satan
Webmaster
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#278878 - 10/23/07 04:51 PM Re: I am stuck in the Bible Belt. [Re: Nemo]
LanceAlton Offline


Registered: 08/10/07
Posts: 116
Loc: Delphi
YES!!! Very much, indeed!
_________________________
"Whoever does not know how to hit the nail on the head should be asked not to hit it at all."
-Friedrich Nietzsche


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