By nature, I am very easygoing and polite to a fault. I would rather concede an argument to another person than get into a big messy row.

The problem is, people perceive me as fragile, submissive, and ultra-feminine. Though this is not entirely inaccurate, I get tired of people attempting to take advantage of me or use me as a doormat. I am also very sensitive, and my feelings are easily hurt.

My question is, should I change my personality, and to what degree? Or should I work within the bounds of what comes naturally to me, and turn it to my advantage?

All thoughts are welcome.

Thank you.

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Or should I work within the bounds of what comes naturally to me, and turn it to my advantage?

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I would recommend reading The Satanic Witch by Anton LaVey - it will help tremendously.

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My question is, should I change my personality, and to what degree? Or should I work within the bounds of what comes naturally to me, and turn it to my advantage?

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That's actually two questions, but anyway...

Fist of all, I don't think people can change their personalities. You would be better of just accepting who you are instead of judging yourself by external standards of what a person should be, in this case, not too submissive.

Secondly if people are trying to use you, then using what comes naturally to you to take advantage of their preconcieved notions would definately be the way to go. I would suggest reading "The Satanic Witch" for details on how to go about doing that.

I would go with the latter. The trick is to work with nature not against it.

Damn, you beat me by a minute!

Enchantress, thanks for the suggestion. I have read the Satanic Witch, but I haven't perused it for a while. Perhaps it is time for a refresher.

I type quickly sometimes...

No, now is the time to start studying it. Purusing it twice will do you just as much good as purusing it once.

Um, actually I have read it numerous times. What I meant was that perhaps I would benefit by perusing it again, since I had not done so in a while.

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By nature, I am very easygoing and polite to a fault. I would rather concede an argument to another person than get into a big messy row.

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There is nothing wrong with being pleasant, and not wasting time arguing with people. If you have nothing to lose by conceding, then it's a waste of time to argue anyway.

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The problem is, people perceive me as fragile, submissive, and ultra-feminine.

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Their perception, does not have to be your reality. You might even be able to use their misperception to your advantage.

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I get tired of people attempting to take advantage of me or use me as a doormat.

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The key word here is "Attempting." An attempt does not mean success. I would suggest that you do your best not to place yourself into a situation where they can "get a foot in the door" in the first place, that can give them the opportunity to take advantage of your good nature. Since you have not given an example of how they attempt to take advantage of you, it is difficult to give you an example of how to avoid giving them the opportunity. However, if you are talking about "Psychic Vampires" the best way to avoid being used by them, is to avoid being around them if possible. Sometimes it is easier to get this blood suckers to back off gradually, by making smaller affirmations at first. For example if they call you on the phone all the time, get caller ID, and don't answer their calls often. If they try to borrow funds, let it be known that you do not have any. If they try to impose on your hospitality, make yourself unavailable, or have a previous engagement for the time they wish to visit. Learn to lie if you have to. It's all about self preservation, even if just in a psychological sense.

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I am also very sensitive, and my feelings are easily hurt.

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Others do not hurt our feeling. We are the only ones who can hurt our feelings by what we tell ourselves about a certain situation. For example, if someone says that we are useless, it does not make us so. Those are only words, but if we let the words affect us, then we might feel that they are right. If I may, I would like to suggest that you research "Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy" also known as R.E.B.T, by Dr. Albert Ellis. He has some very good ways of dealing with feelings, and our perceptions and reactions to them.

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My question is, should I change my personality, and to what degree? Or should I work within the bounds of what comes naturally to me, and turn it to my advantage?

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I have doubts about our ability to change our personalities. We can disguise them, or pretend to be different then we are, but eventually, our true selves always seem to come out in the end. However, habits can be altered or changed. Other peoples reaction to us can be manipulated and controlled. The main idea is to not others pull our strings. The martial art known as Aikido comes to mind. The practitioners of this fighting art learn to use their opponents force and momentum against them. With study, practice and at first "baby steps" the same can be achieved with other peoples forceful personality and their intrusiveness. However it cannot be learned over night. Fighting off manipulation takes practice and patience. If you attempt to make drastic changes too fast, the psychic vampires will push back hard and will likely win. They have years of experience in manipulation, so the best way to thwart their efforts, is to do it in a way, where they don't even realize that you are taking back control. Start out with small things at first, perhaps one thing at a time, but be consistent, and once you are making headway, do not back track.

Do what works.

Don't be a pushover.

Don't try to be someone that you are not.

Don't try to be someone that you wish you were.

Be yourself. If something about yourself isn't making you happy, it's something you can change and do so.

I think Asmedious made very informative statements, I took particular interest in the reference to Aikido. I myself study Jeet Kune Do which is the style developed by Sifu Bruce Lee. In one of his writings and also in interviews he would like to mention water. Water is a good example because of its versatility, for example... water can become ice, just as vapor can become water. In this sense you can relate in the way that change is possible but you cant skip steps, you must go through phases ie. ice to water to vapor. Another way water was used is in its opposing nature, water can be a terrible force harder than stone and taller than buildings. A wave can wipe away an entire village, an avalanche can do the same. But in the same instance water helps give life, it helps plants and food grow, it cleanses our systems. But through this you can see water changes and adapts but you can never make it do something against its nature, it will only do so much. You cant make ice with fire. Hopefully if you are still reading I apologize for the length of that example but it helps solidify my intention when I say, you have to treat each situation differently but remember that even though each path is seperate your destination is the same.

Being easygoing and polite is one thing. Being a doormat is something else entirely.

Learn the difference.