When I drive around my neighborhood I see groups of missionaries walking around and knocking at doors. I also see a large amount of plastic containers filled with garbage.

I don't bother to pay much attention to either.

I know both the missionaries and the garbage cans have a function in life. But I don't occupy my mind with either unless their function is useful to me at a particular moment.

Some times the missionaries leave their pamphlets at my door. I pick them up and put them in the garbage can. At this particular moment they were relevant to me. But a minute later both the missionary and the garbage are out of my mind again.

Tha_Pig, none could have put it better.

A few weeks ago some religion peddlers knocked on my door. I told them that I was sick and didn't know if I was still contagious, I've never seen a group of people excuse themselves so quickly. If you don't want to deal with this type of uninvited guest, that line (or variation thereof) may work for you as well.

LDS missionaries are really cool! If you ask them to help you with things around your house, they will because volunteerism is part of their "thing".

Got any yard work? Got some heavy lifting? Ask a Mormon!

If all you want to do is make silly comments to them, that's your choice but then they get to tell everyone they know about the rude "satanist" they met.

You could follow that up with, "Thank goodness you finally showed up. How does your position go again?"

Some may need to think about that for a minute.

We had some missionaries of some sort stop by the other day and I just so happened to answer the door. My mom heard them at the door and said "We're not interested." and slammed the door in their face. I was in shock because my mom is a non-denominational Christian and I thought they would have something in common. The Jehovahs witnesses believe that the current form of conventional Christianity is a Pagan based religion which is weird because it's all the same basic concept with a few minor differences. But mom said "I should've let the Satanist talk to them!" and I was like why would I want to talk to them any more than you do? Even if I was having an articulate day I still have thousands of better things to do than talk to a couple of closed minded fundamentalists that can't keep their opinions to themselves or amongst their followers at church. I'm a firm believer that religion should be kept in church and not forced onto the unwilling public because not everyone in the states is Christian or some form of it. I have already educated too many people about modern Satanism and it gets aggravating sometimes especially when people don't really listen to you so I'm glad my mom slammed the door on their face so we didn't waste anyone's time. They could be down the street talking to someone who'll listen to them. Great post guys!

I have read nearly the whole Church of Satan website, and I completley understand now.

Although I do already live by all of the teachings of satanism (I was born that way) I have learned so much, about myself, probably more in the past few days than in the past few years.

That doesn't make sense...

How does it not make sense - looked pretty clear to me. Or are you referring to the confusion about him opening the door and his mother closing it? That does actually seem a bit contradictory...

I just answered the door, my mom heard them ask for the head of the house and my mom got up and said "Were not interested." then slammed the door in their face. I'm just glad I didn't have to talk to those idiots. I think I need to take more time on my replies so I don't confuse people! Also I want to address the fact that the non-denominational xtians bible says to spread the word. It doesn't however say be a pest about your religion to deaf ears. I've heard it all before. Nothing any missionary says is gonna persuade me to believe a crock of shit. I do not however know what the mormon or jehovahs witness bible says about pestering a whole neighborhood. I am curious to know. I also think it's completely wrong to advertise religion like that. If people are really interested there's the internet or books they can read. I don't think these people operate off of respect or common sense though.

You TOO can be saved, for the low price of only 9.99!!

Just come out to one of our timeshare meetings in heaven for a free luncheon, and don't worry mom and dad, you can bring the kids!

Enjoy several fun, family oriented activites during your stay, such as swimming, raquetball, and miniature model ship building!

What is "modern Satanism"?

Funny!

Modern Satanism is what has been pioneered by Anton Szandor LaVey. Am I incorrect in this? There are many types of Satanism both current and old. Luciferian, Theistic, LaVeyan, am I missing any?

Good one!