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#287021 - 11/30/07 06:50 AM Re: Missionaries [Re: hellbent666]
spook show Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 356
Loc: under your bed
 Quote:
sects of Satanism like the temple of set.


The temple of set never was, nor ever will be, anything related to Satanism. Now, if you want to talk about groups that are so ridiculous as to defy description, then they would definitely be at the top of the list.
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#287023 - 11/30/07 06:59 AM Makin' Baby Jesus cry. [Re: Fueld by Fire]
Felstorm Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 10/27/03
Posts: 1474
Loc: Minnesota.
 Originally Posted By: Fueld by Fire
Is that wrong of me?


If you enjoy engaging in futile debate with them. Go for it!

But personally I see it as a waste of time.

Unless there are some really cute girls at your door, then invite them in feed them lots of Frangelico and Madiera-laced coffee and keep the conversation angled towards what kinds of sexual perversions are a sin. (Thanks Nemo!) And how that in order to be redeemed one must experience the sin first... which you just so happen to have first hand experience of.

 Quote:
Anybody else have encounters to share?


I spent 18 years forced to grow up as a Jehovah's Witness, and all the physical and psychological horrors that entails.

CNN: They brainwash kids to ignore sound medical advice.

If it were legal, I would advise that you put a shotgun to their heads, and spread their brains across an eight foot by sixteen foot area.

But one must abide by the writ of law. And the consequences of first degree murder tends to be harsh on the enjoyment of life.

Freedom > Prison.

So seduce them if they are cute women.

And make homosexual overtures to the men. (But be prepared to make good on your advances!)

Also. Removing all your clothes "Because I can't talk about God with my clothes on." will get them to beat a hasty retreat as well.

Pranks are well deserved here as well. Fart candy. Blue mouth candy. Itching powder, joy buzzers, whoopie cushions, and dribble cups are all appropriate tools to harass and annoy them.

But don't mess with Mormons.

They are actually somewhat decent people who are really useful when you need something strenuous done. In fact I "hired" them to move my neighbor out two days ago. Strapping young lads made short work of all her exercise equipment.


Edited by Felstorm (11/30/07 07:00 AM)
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#287028 - 11/30/07 07:40 AM Re: Missionaries [Re: TheDegenerate]
The_Lightning Offline


Registered: 05/21/06
Posts: 1325
Loc: Israel
 Originally Posted By: Phosis
Satanism goes well with a fine Shiraz.


I like mine with some fava beans and a nice Chianti
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#287036 - 11/30/07 08:32 AM Re: What do YOU get out of it? [Re: RandomStranger]
Fala Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 07/31/07
Posts: 264
 Originally Posted By: RandomStranger
Got any yard work? Got some heavy lifting? Ask a Mormon!


And they always have great hair, too. It never moves. Seriously. Check it out.

And on a short note, I don't care about missionaries. Period.

Unless they were Satanic missionaries.

Which don't, and never will, exist.

Although I have been in that said named position...

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#287051 - 11/30/07 09:51 AM Re: What do YOU get out of it? [Re: Fala]
Citizen Varrian Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 10/10/07
Posts: 38
Loc: Utah
Mormon missionaries are some of my favorite people.

"Have you opened your heart to the message of Jesus Christ?"

"Not yet... but my sprinkler system sure needs some work."

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#287087 - 11/30/07 12:28 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Fueld by Fire]
DickSteele Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 1411
Every once in awhile. I often say "no thanks, I have a religion". They usually ask, "what religion is it?", I reply with "Satanism, I don't have time for this right now.". When I say "Satanism" they move into arguing mode quickly, buut I close it by adding "I don't have time for this right now". All their hopes for confrontation go down the drain. Oh yeah-that's fun!

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#287106 - 11/30/07 01:46 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Maqlu]
Kallista Offline


Registered: 11/20/07
Posts: 23
Loc: Long Island, NY
This one time, someone had these photocopies of some bible propaganda, highlighted in crayon, with crosses drawn all over it in crayon, and "your going to hell" "repent" and such written all over it in different color crayon shoved in my mailbox. There were also references to the devil and other biblical quotes, all still written in crayon all over it. Im not sure exactly who it was intended for because I lived in a tenement house and I don't know how they could have possibly known we were Satanist. Everyone (except me and the girl on the top floor) were musicians. But still. It was kinda freeky, and really fuckin funny. I wish I still had it, it was on my fridge until we moved.
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#287109 - 11/30/07 01:57 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Kallista]
mighty_honour_kr Offline


Registered: 10/20/07
Posts: 112
Loc: Scotland, United Kingdom
Mormons used to visit all the low income housing in this area years and years ago. I guess it wasn't worth saving.
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"Because we do not know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. And yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, an afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being that you cannot conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four, or five times more? Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless..."

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#287110 - 11/30/07 01:59 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: mighty_honour_kr]
Kallista Offline


Registered: 11/20/07
Posts: 23
Loc: Long Island, NY
My assistant is a Mormon. I thought they were an urban legend.
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I used to be Snow White, I drifted..(Mae West)

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#287125 - 11/30/07 04:00 PM Re: What do YOU get out of it? [Re: Citizen Varrian]
RandomStranger Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 03/09/05
Posts: 2770
Loc: Here.
Exactly. Had some help with my Rain Bird system a few years ago that very same way. Coolest thing I remember the guy saying:

(while crouched down) "If it wasn't for my Temple Garments protecting me, I'd be sporting quite the plumber's crack!"

You can't put a price on humor like that.
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#287170 - 11/30/07 06:02 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: hellbent666]
Poetaster Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 01/20/06
Posts: 2333
Loc: East Coast, USA.
 Quote:
All points are valid to an extent


There is such a thing as just being plain wrong.

Being so open-minded that your brain falls out is not the ultimate moral imperative.
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"People who harbor strong convictions without evidence belong at the margins of our societies, not in our halls of power. The only thing we should respect in a person’s faith is his desire for a better life in this world; we need never have respected his certainty that one awaits him in the next."

- Sam Harris





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#287178 - 11/30/07 06:26 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Poetaster]
mighty_honour_kr Offline


Registered: 10/20/07
Posts: 112
Loc: Scotland, United Kingdom
 Originally Posted By: Poetaster
Being so open-minded that your brain falls out is not the ultimate moral imperative.


I could kiss you.
_________________________
"Because we do not know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. And yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, an afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being that you cannot conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four, or five times more? Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless..."

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#287185 - 11/30/07 07:04 PM Re: Your introduction. [Re: Fueld by Fire]
RottenBonnie Offline


Registered: 04/28/07
Posts: 546
Loc: The West Coast, USA
 Originally Posted By: Fueld by Fire
Please bare with me. Thankyou for the link.


Cool! I'll bare with you. What do you want to bare? Are we just going to do a quick flash or do you want to do a prolonged baring?
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"The smartest, most passionate, most beautiful women I've met have been Satanists. I don't mean "beautiful on the inside where it really counts;" I mean gorgeous, vibrant, curvy women." Blanche Barton

"There's no such thing as too many books." Poetaster

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#287218 - 11/30/07 08:46 PM It Works! [Re: RandomStranger]
LKRice Offline

CoS Priestess

Registered: 06/28/01
Posts: 6344
I'm moving this weekend and spent the better part of the day lugging boxes around. This evening a pair of Mormons stopped by. Having read your post yesterday, I mentioned I was in the process of moving and they offered to come back to help me tomorrow.

What does it matter that their real purpose is to proselytize? A sermon is a small price to pay for something that's of great benefit to me.
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#287224 - 11/30/07 09:03 PM Re: It Works! [Re: LKRice]
Taubmann Offline


Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 123
Loc: Basque Country
 Originally Posted By: LKRice
I'm moving this weekend and spent the better part of the day lugging boxes around. This evening a pair of Mormons stopped by. Having read your post yesterday, I mentioned I was in the process of moving and they offered to come back to help me tomorrow.

What does it matter that their real purpose is to proselytize? A sermon is a small price to pay for something that's of great benefit to me.


Some Krishna Temples are great too, they give you a sermon, chant a little bit and then invite you to awesome veggie indian food.
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“People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.”

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