During the late 1980's-early to mid 90's when I attended college
at MTSU in Murfreesboro, TN., I must have gotten "scent-marked"
by one of them as a sinner, because at one point around 92-93,
I was getting religious pamphlets once or twice a week.
One particularly memorable "event" was when I worked at a
convenience store called "W.T.'s" on Old Fort Pkwy.
It was around 7:30 in the evening (a Thursday, I think) when a
white van pulled up next to the store. A blond "gentleman"
in his mid-40's(?) with a young daughter (she was 3 or so)
came in and bought something.
He gently placed her, standing on the counter and got out his
money; so far, so good.
And then, almost as an afterthought, he reaches into his
coat pocket and hands me a small religious tract with the
provocative title :"How you know that you are going to Heaven".
I explained as politely as if I was hosting a UN summit,
"Thank you, but no thank you. I have actually received THIS
pamphlet in the past three days." I really had, honestly!
He then nudged it back to me and said, "No, I want YOU to have
To which I replied:"Oh, that's okay, really. But thank you
He seemed slightly perturbed.
He took the religious tract back, picked up his daughter,
and headed toward the door.
As he did this, he was glaring at me saying "Well, it's out
of MY hands, now! It's between you and GA-WAD. It's not my
fault if you go to hell..."
To which I just smiled and said:
"I'm sure that God understands, and that he is proud of you.
At least you got your "brownie points"
You could have heard a pin drop in the awkward silence that followed.
Then Dr. David Banner's switch got flipped!
The guy turned four sheets of red, "BROWNIE POINTS?!"
Mark H. (my boss at the time) was in a little side room
doing the books. He hears the man screaming at the top
of his lungs, and comes out to see what is wrong.
The parasit- er um, proselyte then says "If I wasn't a
Christian, I'd whoop his ASS!"
I simply CANNOT make up this stuff!
The man finally leaves, and Mark tells me to just "take
the paper" next time.
I just hope wasn't this guy's final exam to becoming
a "Royal Ranger"...