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#285610 - 11/25/07 01:49 AM Missionaries
Fueld by Fire Offline


Registered: 11/05/07
Posts: 16
Loc: Coupville Wa
Does anybody else have encounters with Missionaries?

I do all the time, even more, now that I believe in Satanism. As a matter of fact, this evening I was questioned by two elders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Later-Day Saints. They asked me if I would be interested in recieving one of their pamphlets on their church. At first I declined the offer and told them I am proud of myself. They questioned me, "what do you mean." I replied, "well I'm a firm believer in satanism." There was that awkward silence as they exchanged glances. I asked them if they were affraid of a satanist, and they hessitated. haha. To some people that may be a sign of truth, to others a lie. I believe that they had never encoutered a person like me before, but maybe they had. No matter, I took controll of the conversation and told them that if there was to be a conversation between us, to go research some basic things on Satanism, so im not talking to complete idiots, and then come back so we could talk more and share our thoughts. They said no problem and that they would be back to talk to me.

Is that wrong of me?
Anybody else have encounters to share?
_________________________
Power is easy to obtain. Wielding your power successfully is the true test.

Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward. Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both. For a wounded man shall say to his assailant "If I live, I will kill you. If I die you are forgiven." Such is the rule of honor
-Randy Blythe, Lamb of God

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#285614 - 11/25/07 01:59 AM Re: Missionaries [Re: Fueld by Fire]
TheDegenerate Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 11/11/07
Posts: 3567
Loc: Cowtown
Edited for being pointless.

You clearly don't understand what it is to be a Satanist, or have not yet read the Satanic bible. It isn't necessary to pick out specific points in your post that suggest that, I am sure many others will point that out in short time.

Also, no introduction post. Bad news.


Edited by Phosis (11/25/07 02:01 AM)

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#285615 - 11/25/07 02:06 AM Re: Missionaries [Re: TheDegenerate]
Adveser Offline


Registered: 06/27/04
Posts: 429
Loc: California
I completely agree. Once some of these people rang the door bell of my house. When They asked me if I were interested in some literature, I told them "no thanks" and that was it. This seems to be the way to go. Maybe they'll find people that are not doing well and make them productive citizens. Some people need religion to get thier shit together, so maybe this church, as erronious as any other faith-based nonsense, will help some of these losers out. My two cents, feel free to disagree.

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#285616 - 11/25/07 02:33 AM Re: Missionaries [Re: Adveser]
TheDegenerate Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 11/11/07
Posts: 3567
Loc: Cowtown
Sorry Adveser, you hit my post...I edited it down to what it is no more then a minute after I posted it.

Not trying to deceieve anyone, just didn't want to go off on a rant asking this user all sorts of questions that have no answers.

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#285628 - 11/25/07 03:58 AM Re: Missionaries [Re: Fueld by Fire]
verszou Offline



Registered: 09/05/07
Posts: 1813
Loc: Denmark
It seems that hardly a week goes by without some new member dropping in with a tall tale about how they did this or that to make JW's, missionaries, the local priest or what have you uncomfortable or question their faith.

Since Satanism does not have missionaries and does not require martyrs - what is the point? To me it seems like a variation on the old thing where guys in the locker room brag about their female conquests.
_________________________
While having never invented a sin, I'm trying to perfect several.

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#285634 - 11/25/07 04:03 AM Re: Missionaries [Re: verszou]
TheDegenerate Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 11/11/07
Posts: 3567
Loc: Cowtown
It just seems so non-Satanic to even be talking about frivolous shit such as this. Maybe I am becoming more easily irritated (Especially since I spent my day reading The Satanic Scriptures from front cover to back) but I don't know what a Satanist could possibly get out of "Telling those dudes off lol!1".

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#285638 - 11/25/07 11:37 AM Re: Missionaries [Re: Fueld by Fire]
LKRice Offline

CoS Priestess

Registered: 06/28/01
Posts: 6359
Where's your introduction?
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#285641 - 11/25/07 11:59 AM Re: Missionaries [Re: LKRice]
mighty_honour_kr Offline


Registered: 10/20/07
Posts: 112
Loc: Scotland, United Kingdom
There are a few reasons why someone might spin such a tale.

One would be that they expect some Satanic kudos, a pat on the back for jousting with the local Mormons. As everyone who hasn’t read the Satanic Bible ‘knows’, we love to concern ourselves with the religious beliefs of others and draw them into debate whenever possible.
_________________________
"Because we do not know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. And yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, an afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being that you cannot conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four, or five times more? Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless..."

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#285649 - 11/25/07 12:33 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: TheDegenerate]
TrojZyr Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 07/25/01
Posts: 12990
Loc: The Solid State
Yeah, for the most part, I just want to be able to get along with people and go about my business. Unless I'm in a really goofy mood and really want to sock it to somebody, I tend to see trying to shock people with Satanism as pointless. It just generates a lot of sturm und drang for everybody involved.

And in any case, if you are going to shock people, you have to do it with some finesse. For example, I'd get a friend to lie naked in the middle of the living room, or I'd show up to the door wearing a black robe, holding a framed picture of Strawberry Shortcake.
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"The strong rule the weak, and the cunning rule over all." HS!

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#285675 - 11/25/07 02:13 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: TrojZyr]
Fueld by Fire Offline


Registered: 11/05/07
Posts: 16
Loc: Coupville Wa
An introduction? I'm affraid I don't understand.
_________________________
Power is easy to obtain. Wielding your power successfully is the true test.

Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward. Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both. For a wounded man shall say to his assailant "If I live, I will kill you. If I die you are forgiven." Such is the rule of honor
-Randy Blythe, Lamb of God

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#285676 - 11/25/07 02:16 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Fueld by Fire]
TheDegenerate Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 11/11/07
Posts: 3567
Loc: Cowtown
There is a spot on this site for new member introductions. You are required to post one there, or face banning within a set number of days. It is a good idea to read other introductions so you write a proper one as well.

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#285677 - 11/25/07 02:16 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Fueld by Fire]
RaSc Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 07/17/07
Posts: 484
Loc: PA
Judging from your mood indicator, you are upset. There is no reason to be angry. It's board policy to post your introduction before posting. Please post your introduction in the proper forum so we know a little more about you.

Thank you.

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#285680 - 11/25/07 02:31 PM Your introduction. [Re: Fueld by Fire]
Nemo Offline
CoS Magister

Registered: 10/06/02
Posts: 12578
Loc: Point Nemo s48:52:31:748, w123...

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#285692 - 11/25/07 02:49 PM Re: Your introduction. [Re: Nemo]
Fueld by Fire Offline


Registered: 11/05/07
Posts: 16
Loc: Coupville Wa
Please bare with me. Thankyou for the link.
_________________________
Power is easy to obtain. Wielding your power successfully is the true test.

Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward. Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both. For a wounded man shall say to his assailant "If I live, I will kill you. If I die you are forgiven." Such is the rule of honor
-Randy Blythe, Lamb of God

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#285706 - 11/25/07 03:06 PM Re: Your introduction. [Re: Fueld by Fire]
Fueld by Fire Offline


Registered: 11/05/07
Posts: 16
Loc: Coupville Wa
So many things to say. But I'm not a bigshot, so I'll be quiet.
_________________________
Power is easy to obtain. Wielding your power successfully is the true test.

Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward. Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both. For a wounded man shall say to his assailant "If I live, I will kill you. If I die you are forgiven." Such is the rule of honor
-Randy Blythe, Lamb of God

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#285722 - 11/25/07 03:26 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Fueld by Fire]
Old_Pig Offline


Registered: 11/27/02
Posts: 3969
Loc: The Deep South
When I drive around my neighborhood I see groups of missionaries walking around and knocking at doors. I also see a large amount of plastic containers filled with garbage.

I don't bother to pay much attention to either.

I know both the missionaries and the garbage cans have a function in life. But I don't occupy my mind with either unless their function is useful to me at a particular moment.

Some times the missionaries leave their pamphlets at my door. I pick them up and put them in the garbage can. At this particular moment they were relevant to me. But a minute later both the missionary and the garbage are out of my mind again.
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You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once.
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#285723 - 11/25/07 03:27 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Old_Pig]
TheDegenerate Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 11/11/07
Posts: 3567
Loc: Cowtown
Tha_Pig, none could have put it better.

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#285784 - 11/25/07 06:45 PM Re: Your introduction. [Re: Fueld by Fire]
AurEum Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 11/16/07
Posts: 1158
Loc: Australia
A few weeks ago some religion peddlers knocked on my door. I told them that I was sick and didn't know if I was still contagious, I've never seen a group of people excuse themselves so quickly. If you don't want to deal with this type of uninvited guest, that line (or variation thereof) may work for you as well.
_________________________
** former username Ealaiontor **

"The truth is I've never fooled anyone. I've let people fool themselves. They didn't bother to find out who and what I was. Instead they would invent a character for me. I wouldn't argue with them." - Marilyn Monroe

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#285959 - 11/26/07 11:35 AM What do YOU get out of it? [Re: Fueld by Fire]
RandomStranger Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 03/09/05
Posts: 2770
Loc: Here.
LDS missionaries are really cool! If you ask them to help you with things around your house, they will because volunteerism is part of their "thing".

Got any yard work? Got some heavy lifting? Ask a Mormon!

If all you want to do is make silly comments to them, that's your choice but then they get to tell everyone they know about the rude "satanist" they met.


Edited by RandomStranger (11/26/07 11:43 AM)
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#285964 - 11/26/07 11:52 AM Re: Missionaries [Re: TrojZyr]
Roho_the_Rooster Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 03/10/05
Posts: 6999
Loc: Pre-Apocalypolis
 Originally Posted By: TrojZyr
For example, I'd get a friend to lie naked in the middle of the living room,


You could follow that up with, "Thank goodness you finally showed up. How does your position go again?"

Some may need to think about that for a minute.
_________________________
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http://theepicureandilettante.blogspot.com/

"Life is the only race you lose by reaching the end." - M.M.

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#286054 - 11/26/07 06:54 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Roho_the_Rooster]
hellbent666 Offline
Banned

Registered: 11/23/07
Posts: 40
Loc: Colorado
We had some missionaries of some sort stop by the other day and I just so happened to answer the door. My mom heard them at the door and said "We're not interested." and slammed the door in their face. I was in shock because my mom is a non-denominational Christian and I thought they would have something in common. The Jehovahs witnesses believe that the current form of conventional Christianity is a Pagan based religion which is weird because it's all the same basic concept with a few minor differences. But mom said "I should've let the Satanist talk to them!" and I was like why would I want to talk to them any more than you do? Even if I was having an articulate day I still have thousands of better things to do than talk to a couple of closed minded fundamentalists that can't keep their opinions to themselves or amongst their followers at church. I'm a firm believer that religion should be kept in church and not forced onto the unwilling public because not everyone in the states is Christian or some form of it. I have already educated too many people about modern Satanism and it gets aggravating sometimes especially when people don't really listen to you so I'm glad my mom slammed the door on their face so we didn't waste anyone's time. They could be down the street talking to someone who'll listen to them. Great post guys!

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#286631 - 11/28/07 11:10 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Fueld by Fire]
Fueld by Fire Offline


Registered: 11/05/07
Posts: 16
Loc: Coupville Wa
I have read nearly the whole Church of Satan website, and I completley understand now.

Although I do already live by all of the teachings of satanism (I was born that way) I have learned so much, about myself, probably more in the past few days than in the past few years.
_________________________
Power is easy to obtain. Wielding your power successfully is the true test.

Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward. Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both. For a wounded man shall say to his assailant "If I live, I will kill you. If I die you are forgiven." Such is the rule of honor
-Randy Blythe, Lamb of God

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#286643 - 11/29/07 12:20 AM Re: Missionaries [Re: hellbent666]
Fueld by Fire Offline


Registered: 11/05/07
Posts: 16
Loc: Coupville Wa
 Originally Posted By: hellbent666
We had some missionaries of some sort stop by the other day and I just so happened to answer the door. My mom heard them at the door and said "We're not interested." and slammed the door in their face... so I'm glad my mom slammed the door on their face so we didn't waste anyone's time...


That doesn't make sense...
_________________________
Power is easy to obtain. Wielding your power successfully is the true test.

Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward. Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both. For a wounded man shall say to his assailant "If I live, I will kill you. If I die you are forgiven." Such is the rule of honor
-Randy Blythe, Lamb of God

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#286793 - 11/29/07 04:14 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Fueld by Fire]
Scion Offline



Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 753
Loc: London, UK
 Originally Posted By: Fueld by Fire
 Originally Posted By: hellbent666
We had some missionaries of some sort stop by the other day and I just so happened to answer the door. My mom heard them at the door and said "We're not interested." and slammed the door in their face... so I'm glad my mom slammed the door on their face so we didn't waste anyone's time...


That doesn't make sense...


How does it not make sense - looked pretty clear to me. Or are you referring to the confusion about him opening the door and his mother closing it? That does actually seem a bit contradictory...
_________________________
All Hail Satan, for I shall ever be his mouth in this blessed and righteous Kingdom of the United!

"Don't you see? If the gays can get married then the whole institution of marriage will be destroyed! Society will crumble! Rivers will run red with blood! And Nazis will walk the earth riding dinosaurs!" Princess Clara, the unsung voice of the Christian right.

www.vampiretemple.com - are you one of us?

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#286815 - 11/29/07 04:55 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Scion]
hellbent666 Offline
Banned

Registered: 11/23/07
Posts: 40
Loc: Colorado
I just answered the door, my mom heard them ask for the head of the house and my mom got up and said "Were not interested." then slammed the door in their face. I'm just glad I didn't have to talk to those idiots. I think I need to take more time on my replies so I don't confuse people! Also I want to address the fact that the non-denominational xtians bible says to spread the word. It doesn't however say be a pest about your religion to deaf ears. I've heard it all before. Nothing any missionary says is gonna persuade me to believe a crock of shit. I do not however know what the mormon or jehovahs witness bible says about pestering a whole neighborhood. I am curious to know. I also think it's completely wrong to advertise religion like that. If people are really interested there's the internet or books they can read. I don't think these people operate off of respect or common sense though.

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#286818 - 11/29/07 05:03 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: hellbent666]
TheDegenerate Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 11/11/07
Posts: 3567
Loc: Cowtown
You TOO can be saved, for the low price of only 9.99!!

Just come out to one of our timeshare meetings in heaven for a free luncheon, and don't worry mom and dad, you can bring the kids!

Enjoy several fun, family oriented activites during your stay, such as swimming, raquetball, and miniature model ship building!

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#286830 - 11/29/07 05:22 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: hellbent666]
Lust Offline


Registered: 11/02/05
Posts: 4214
 Quote:
I have already educated too many people about modern Satanism and it gets aggravating sometimes especially when people don't really listen to you so I'm glad my mom slammed the door on their face so we didn't waste anyone's time.


What is "modern Satanism"?
_________________________
�Love is one of the most intense feelings felt by man; another is hate. Forcing yourself to feel indiscriminate love is very unnatural. If you try to love everyone you only lessen your feelings for those who deserve your love. Repressed hatred can lead to many physical and emotional aliments. By learning to release your hatred towards those who deserve it, you cleanse yourself of these malignant emotions and need not take your pent-up hatred out on your loved ones.�
Anton Szandor LaVey, The Satanic Bible

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#286838 - 11/29/07 05:52 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: hellbent666]
Danny Mc. Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 11/05/04
Posts: 2143
Loc: Taxationland

 Quote:
I have already educated too many people about modern Satanism and it gets aggravating sometimes especially when people don't really listen to you


Funny!
_________________________
"To be born into this world a sentient, self-conscious and reasoning being, surrounded by inexhaustible glories in Nature, which we may comprehend, possess,enjoy; to be able to rise on the wings of a lofty imagination; to be able to get glimpses of the ideally perfect; to apprehend the Divine; it is to the development and enjoyment of these high powers that the young man is invited. How dare he refuse to qualify himself by the most perfect training of all his powers." Lyman J. Gage 1910


"Follow Me!", John M. (Delta).

"I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think." Something Magistra Isabel posted. laugh

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#286846 - 11/29/07 06:20 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Danny Mc.]
hellbent666 Offline
Banned

Registered: 11/23/07
Posts: 40
Loc: Colorado
Modern Satanism is what has been pioneered by Anton Szandor LaVey. Am I incorrect in this? There are many types of Satanism both current and old. Luciferian, Theistic, LaVeyan, am I missing any?

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#286849 - 11/29/07 06:31 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Roho_the_Rooster]
Maqlu Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 03/10/07
Posts: 1673


Good one!

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#286852 - 11/29/07 06:32 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: hellbent666]
Danny Mc. Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 11/05/04
Posts: 2143
Loc: Taxationland
 Quote:
Modern Satanism is what has been pioneered by Anton Szandor LaVey. Am I incorrect in this? There are many types of Satanism both current and old. Luciferian, Theistic, LaVeyan, am I missing any?


This is a question that should be asked in the questions forum. . I suggest you do further research and read this.
_________________________
"To be born into this world a sentient, self-conscious and reasoning being, surrounded by inexhaustible glories in Nature, which we may comprehend, possess,enjoy; to be able to rise on the wings of a lofty imagination; to be able to get glimpses of the ideally perfect; to apprehend the Divine; it is to the development and enjoyment of these high powers that the young man is invited. How dare he refuse to qualify himself by the most perfect training of all his powers." Lyman J. Gage 1910


"Follow Me!", John M. (Delta).

"I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think." Something Magistra Isabel posted. laugh

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#286853 - 11/29/07 06:34 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: hellbent666]
The_Lightning Offline


Registered: 05/21/06
Posts: 1325
Loc: Israel
You are missing the fact that there is only ONE kind of Satanism, and it is the religion configured by LaVey (who was the first to do so, and therefor also the last).

By the way,
Just out of curiosity:
What is the idea behind your avatar?
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There is no such thing as evolution - Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

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#286857 - 11/29/07 06:36 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: hellbent666]
Phineas Offline
CoS Magister

Registered: 08/16/06
Posts: 8269
There wasn't any Satanism prior to Dr. LaVey and the COS. Just devil worship groups and pseudo-satanic groups.

There is no such thing as theistic, luciferian or what have you Satanism. There is Satanism, as codified by Dr. LaVey and exemplified by the COS, and devil worshippers and pseudo-satanic groups, and a host of pathetic immitators that try in vain to copy what the COS is.
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#286870 - 11/29/07 07:01 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Phineas]
Poetaster Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 01/20/06
Posts: 2334
Loc: East Coast, USA.
That pesky stratification strikes again. ;\)
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"People who harbor strong convictions without evidence belong at the margins of our societies, not in our halls of power. The only thing we should respect in a person’s faith is his desire for a better life in this world; we need never have respected his certainty that one awaits him in the next."

- Sam Harris





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#286872 - 11/29/07 07:05 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Phineas]
hellbent666 Offline
Banned

Registered: 11/23/07
Posts: 40
Loc: Colorado
Agreed but I would be a retard to say that Satanism hasn't existed before LaVey in some form or another. Even the Yezedi's are older then our chosen type of Satanism. When I'm asked or choose to talk about it I only refer to the teachings of LaVey I don't reference back to devil-worshiphers or sects of Satanism like the temple of set. There is only one modern one but the roots are a lot older than many would think. It's like saying the only form of Christianity is non-denominational, that there are no baptists, lutherans, or nazerene. Same kinda thing. Only one is the right path, but others do exist.

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#286874 - 11/29/07 07:10 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: hellbent666]
TheDegenerate Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 11/11/07
Posts: 3567
Loc: Cowtown
That is incorrect.

Satanism was first established as a religion by Anton LaVey.

There is no other Satanism, and there never has been (and never will be.)

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#286880 - 11/29/07 07:23 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: hellbent666]
RandomStranger Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 03/09/05
Posts: 2770
Loc: Here.
It boggles my mind that you have knowledgeable people giving it to you straight yet you just keep pushing back with more nonsense.

Unbelievable.
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#286882 - 11/29/07 07:25 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: hellbent666]
Virus9 Offline
CoS Priest

Registered: 08/06/01
Posts: 2108
Loc: Florida
 Quote:
Modern Satanism is what has been pioneered by Anton Szandor LaVey. Am I incorrect in this?


Quite.

Anton LaVey codified Satanism, period. Before he did so, there was no codified religion which it's adherents referred to as Satanism.

When you see people putting "qualifier" terms in front of the word Satanism, you can generally be assured that what they're talking about bears little resemblance to the religion Anton LaVey founded.
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-Lewis Lapham

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#286886 - 11/29/07 07:48 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: hellbent666]
Roho_the_Rooster Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 03/10/05
Posts: 6999
Loc: Pre-Apocalypolis
This issue comes up quite often. The answer is always the same, because it is true. Anton LaVey codified Satanism. The Church of Satan is the only organization that can truthfully use that name. The issue of whether there were people before then who would have been called Satanists had they lived after the establishment of the Church is separate. To point out that individual ideas may be shared by other groups is not significant to the question. The reason I am repeating what others have said is to add weight to the fact that this is not an issue we disagree on. The only people who will discuss groups that are not Satanists as different flavors of Satanism are people who are not Satanists.
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http://theepicureandilettante.blogspot.com/

"Life is the only race you lose by reaching the end." - M.M.

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#286887 - 11/29/07 07:49 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Virus9]
hellbent666 Offline
Banned

Registered: 11/23/07
Posts: 40
Loc: Colorado
Well that clarifies everything. I do intend to become a member as soon as I have the 200 bucks for membership fees and I also intend to pursue a position amongst you. I'm not trying to argue what y'all are telling me but just merely trying to explain it from other peoples perspectives. I think that there is only one true form of Satanism but that doesn't mean that others don't hold different opinions. They might not be federally accepted "religions" (with the exception of the Temple of Set) but other opinions are around. I'm not one of those people that think they have the whole market cornered. I know what fits and works for me but that doesn't mean that it works the same for other people. My mom oredered me this book that's titled "The Satanic Bible" but it's written by some kid obsessed with vampires and necrophilia and before you even open the book it says that he is anti LaVeyan! I was like well this book is totally gonna piss me off. I don't believe in any theistic off-shoots of LaVey, I think he should get the credit he's due. I don't lend credibility to any of these spin offs but they do exist is all I'm saying.

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#286889 - 11/29/07 07:55 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: hellbent666]
TheDegenerate Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 11/11/07
Posts: 3567
Loc: Cowtown
Okay, but what is even the point of acknowledging them at all?

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#286890 - 11/29/07 07:56 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Roho_the_Rooster]
RaSc Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 07/17/07
Posts: 484
Loc: PA
 Originally Posted By: Roho_the_Rooster
different flavors of Satanism


I prefer my Satanism to be spicy and well aged, like a fine cheddar. However, some people might prefer their Satanism sweet or savory, but that's just pretentious. This is serious stuff, I'm sure you can appreciate the difference, Roho. ;\)

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#286891 - 11/29/07 07:58 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: RaSc]
TheDegenerate Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 11/11/07
Posts: 3567
Loc: Cowtown
Satanism goes well with a fine Shiraz.

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#286892 - 11/29/07 07:59 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: TheDegenerate]
RaSc Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 07/17/07
Posts: 484
Loc: PA
Or Port, if you swing that way.

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#286893 - 11/29/07 08:03 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: RaSc]
TheDegenerate Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 11/11/07
Posts: 3567
Loc: Cowtown
Prefer the ruggedness of a strong spiced mead.

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#286895 - 11/29/07 08:04 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: RaSc]
Roho_the_Rooster Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 03/10/05
Posts: 6999
Loc: Pre-Apocalypolis
 Originally Posted By: RaSc
 Originally Posted By: Roho_the_Rooster
different flavors of Satanism


I prefer my Satanism to be spicy and well aged, like a fine cheddar. However, some people might prefer their Satanism sweet or savory, but that's just pretentious. This is serious stuff, I'm sure you can appreciate the difference, Roho. ;\)


Alright...You guys know what I mean. That word that describes things that describe things before a noun. None of those. "Modern, Theistic, Traditional, salty..."
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#286897 - 11/29/07 08:08 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Roho_the_Rooster]
TheDegenerate Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 11/11/07
Posts: 3567
Loc: Cowtown
Haha. Salty Satanism. It is funny, but it seriously doesn't sound anymore ridiculous than "Theistic Satanism." That's like having a religion called "Atheistic Christianity." Oh wait, I think I have read about that somewhere...

What a bunch of crap.

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#286900 - 11/29/07 08:09 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: TheDegenerate]
RaSc Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 07/17/07
Posts: 484
Loc: PA
I have not yet had the privilege of mixing my Satanism with a good mead. It might be deserving of its own bible, message board and emporium. \:D

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#286902 - 11/29/07 08:11 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: RaSc]
TheDegenerate Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 11/11/07
Posts: 3567
Loc: Cowtown
Hail the birth of the "Salty Satanism" Message board, "Salty Letters to Our Much Saltier Devil."

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#286903 - 11/29/07 08:13 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: TheDegenerate]
RaSc Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 07/17/07
Posts: 484
Loc: PA
 Originally Posted By: Phosis
Hail the birth of the "Salty Satanism" Message board, "Salty Letters to Our Much Saltier Devil."


Does Salty describe the type of Satanism where you feel all icky afterwards? I recommend scrubbing yourself repeatedly in the shower, while crying "why me!?"

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#286905 - 11/29/07 08:22 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: RaSc]
Danny Mc. Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 11/05/04
Posts: 2143
Loc: Taxationland
 Quote:

Originally Posted By: Phosis Hail the birth of the "Salty Satanism" Message board, "Salty Letters to Our Much Saltier Devil."

Does Salty describe the type of Satanism where you feel all icky afterwards? I recommend scrubbing yourself repeatedly in the shower, while crying "why me!?"


This is the kind of nonsense is why I stated to the original post...
 Quote:
This is a question that should be asked in the questions forum.
_________________________
"To be born into this world a sentient, self-conscious and reasoning being, surrounded by inexhaustible glories in Nature, which we may comprehend, possess,enjoy; to be able to rise on the wings of a lofty imagination; to be able to get glimpses of the ideally perfect; to apprehend the Divine; it is to the development and enjoyment of these high powers that the young man is invited. How dare he refuse to qualify himself by the most perfect training of all his powers." Lyman J. Gage 1910


"Follow Me!", John M. (Delta).

"I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think." Something Magistra Isabel posted. laugh

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#286906 - 11/29/07 08:26 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Danny Mc.]
TheDegenerate Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 11/11/07
Posts: 3567
Loc: Cowtown
Sound advice.

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#286907 - 11/29/07 08:27 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Danny Mc.]
RaSc Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 07/17/07
Posts: 484
Loc: PA
 Originally Posted By: Nephilim
 Quote:

Originally Posted By: Phosis Hail the birth of the "Salty Satanism" Message board, "Salty Letters to Our Much Saltier Devil."

Does Salty describe the type of Satanism where you feel all icky afterwards? I recommend scrubbing yourself repeatedly in the shower, while crying "why me!?"


This is the kind of nonsense is why I stated to the original post...
 Quote:
This is a question that should be asked in the questions forum.



You are right, of course. Although this thread has lost its seriousness many posts ago. I'm just having a bit of fun.

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#286962 - 11/29/07 11:08 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Fueld by Fire]
Mr. Obsidian Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 10/29/04
Posts: 3120
Loc: Ohio
 Quote:
Does anybody else have encounters with Missionaries?


No.

I vaguely remember a Jehovah's Witness coming to my family's house, once, when I lived in Wisconsin (around the age of eight, probably).

The one thing which vividly remained in my memory was the picture from the cover of her pamphlet: a cuddly depiction of children frolicking in a flowery field with lions and tigers.

I assume it was illustrating the "post-Christ's return" paradise of lore.

_________________________
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Olio/Etcetera

Flesh and Bones
_______________

“For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can't readily accept the God formula, the big answers don't remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command nor faith a dictum. I am my own god. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.”
~ Charles Bukowski


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#286964 - 11/29/07 11:11 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Scion]
Fueld by Fire Offline


Registered: 11/05/07
Posts: 16
Loc: Coupville Wa
 Originally Posted By: Scion
 Originally Posted By: Fueld by Fire
 Originally Posted By: hellbent666
We had some missionaries of some sort stop by the other day and I just so happened to answer the door. My mom heard them at the door and said "We're not interested." and slammed the door in their face... so I'm glad my mom slammed the door on their face so we didn't waste anyone's time...


That doesn't make sense...


How does it not make sense - looked pretty clear to me. Or are you referring to the confusion about him opening the door and his mother closing it? That does actually seem a bit contradictory...


Exactly
_________________________
Power is easy to obtain. Wielding your power successfully is the true test.

Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward. Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both. For a wounded man shall say to his assailant "If I live, I will kill you. If I die you are forgiven." Such is the rule of honor
-Randy Blythe, Lamb of God

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#286974 - 11/29/07 11:34 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: hellbent666]
Fueld by Fire Offline


Registered: 11/05/07
Posts: 16
Loc: Coupville Wa
Your avatar is ridiculous
_________________________
Power is easy to obtain. Wielding your power successfully is the true test.

Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward. Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both. For a wounded man shall say to his assailant "If I live, I will kill you. If I die you are forgiven." Such is the rule of honor
-Randy Blythe, Lamb of God

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#286976 - 11/29/07 11:40 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Fueld by Fire]
TheDegenerate Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 11/11/07
Posts: 3567
Loc: Cowtown
If you had one, would it too be ridiculous?

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#286982 - 11/30/07 12:15 AM Re: Missionaries [Re: TheDegenerate]
hellbent666 Offline
Banned

Registered: 11/23/07
Posts: 40
Loc: Colorado
Weve gotten way off the topic here. I apologize for my insolence and maybe I should just read posts for a while before I make them. I just don't want you people getting the wrong idea about me. I guess there really is no point in acknowledging them at all btu I like to keep all opinions in mind even if I disagree with them. All points are valid to an extent and can mean a lot of different things to the individual. Maybe I should shy away from touchy subjects such as this one since a ton of you are CoS members. I think knowledge is power and the more I know the better and more well versed I will be when I encounter these types of people.

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#286986 - 11/30/07 12:25 AM Re: Missionaries [Re: hellbent666]
Bill_M Offline
CoS Reverend

Registered: 07/28/01
Posts: 11561
Loc: New England, USA
 Originally Posted By: hellbent666
I think that there is only one true form of Satanism but that doesn't mean that others don't hold different opinions. [...] I don't lend credibility to any of these spin offs but they do exist is all I'm saying.

Sure, there are lots of weirdos that exist. I don't care if they call themselves "Satan Worshippers", "Devil Worshippers", "Demonologists", "Setians", "Beelzebub Buddies" or whatever. They just have no business calling themselves "Satanists". As others have mentioned, the Church of Satan is the first known group in history to identify as "Satanists", with a religion called "Satanism". But more importantly, it's a religoin that actually has applications beyond Saturday night psychodrama like "black masses". The bottom line is that we got dibs on the name.

I'd like to point out that this isn't the same thing as Catholics who claim that Protestants aren't "real Christians" and what not. Different sects of the same religion still follow the same deity structure and use the same canon, just emphasizing some parts over others. This isn't the case here. Here's an article I wrote on the subject:
http://www.satannet.com/forum/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Board=5&Number=174793
_________________________
Reverend Bill M.

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#287001 - 11/30/07 03:56 AM Re: Missionaries [Re: TheDegenerate]
Fueld by Fire Offline


Registered: 11/05/07
Posts: 16
Loc: Coupville Wa
Maybey, maybey not. I know it wouldn't be a fantastic shot to the aftermath of the night I decided to do a BnE on some fools house.
_________________________
Power is easy to obtain. Wielding your power successfully is the true test.

Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward. Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both. For a wounded man shall say to his assailant "If I live, I will kill you. If I die you are forgiven." Such is the rule of honor
-Randy Blythe, Lamb of God

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#287021 - 11/30/07 06:50 AM Re: Missionaries [Re: hellbent666]
spook show Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 356
Loc: under your bed
 Quote:
sects of Satanism like the temple of set.


The temple of set never was, nor ever will be, anything related to Satanism. Now, if you want to talk about groups that are so ridiculous as to defy description, then they would definitely be at the top of the list.
_________________________
"The best thing about any day is its gentle lapse into night, the dark mantle whence all secrets evolve."

~Anton Szandor LaVey

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#287023 - 11/30/07 06:59 AM Makin' Baby Jesus cry. [Re: Fueld by Fire]
Felstorm Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 10/27/03
Posts: 1474
Loc: Minnesota.
 Originally Posted By: Fueld by Fire
Is that wrong of me?


If you enjoy engaging in futile debate with them. Go for it!

But personally I see it as a waste of time.

Unless there are some really cute girls at your door, then invite them in feed them lots of Frangelico and Madiera-laced coffee and keep the conversation angled towards what kinds of sexual perversions are a sin. (Thanks Nemo!) And how that in order to be redeemed one must experience the sin first... which you just so happen to have first hand experience of.

 Quote:
Anybody else have encounters to share?


I spent 18 years forced to grow up as a Jehovah's Witness, and all the physical and psychological horrors that entails.

CNN: They brainwash kids to ignore sound medical advice.

If it were legal, I would advise that you put a shotgun to their heads, and spread their brains across an eight foot by sixteen foot area.

But one must abide by the writ of law. And the consequences of first degree murder tends to be harsh on the enjoyment of life.

Freedom > Prison.

So seduce them if they are cute women.

And make homosexual overtures to the men. (But be prepared to make good on your advances!)

Also. Removing all your clothes "Because I can't talk about God with my clothes on." will get them to beat a hasty retreat as well.

Pranks are well deserved here as well. Fart candy. Blue mouth candy. Itching powder, joy buzzers, whoopie cushions, and dribble cups are all appropriate tools to harass and annoy them.

But don't mess with Mormons.

They are actually somewhat decent people who are really useful when you need something strenuous done. In fact I "hired" them to move my neighbor out two days ago. Strapping young lads made short work of all her exercise equipment.


Edited by Felstorm (11/30/07 07:00 AM)
_________________________
"Many people would sooner die than think - in fact, they do so." ~ Bertrand Russell

"“Let the future tell the truth, and evaluate each one according to his work and accomplishments. The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine.” ~ Nikola Tesla

Are You One of Us?

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#287028 - 11/30/07 07:40 AM Re: Missionaries [Re: TheDegenerate]
The_Lightning Offline


Registered: 05/21/06
Posts: 1325
Loc: Israel
 Originally Posted By: Phosis
Satanism goes well with a fine Shiraz.


I like mine with some fava beans and a nice Chianti
_________________________
There is no such thing as evolution - Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

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#287036 - 11/30/07 08:32 AM Re: What do YOU get out of it? [Re: RandomStranger]
Fala Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 07/31/07
Posts: 264
 Originally Posted By: RandomStranger
Got any yard work? Got some heavy lifting? Ask a Mormon!


And they always have great hair, too. It never moves. Seriously. Check it out.

And on a short note, I don't care about missionaries. Period.

Unless they were Satanic missionaries.

Which don't, and never will, exist.

Although I have been in that said named position...

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#287051 - 11/30/07 09:51 AM Re: What do YOU get out of it? [Re: Fala]
Citizen Varrian Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 10/10/07
Posts: 38
Loc: Utah
Mormon missionaries are some of my favorite people.

"Have you opened your heart to the message of Jesus Christ?"

"Not yet... but my sprinkler system sure needs some work."

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#287087 - 11/30/07 12:28 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Fueld by Fire]
DickSteele Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 1411
Every once in awhile. I often say "no thanks, I have a religion". They usually ask, "what religion is it?", I reply with "Satanism, I don't have time for this right now.". When I say "Satanism" they move into arguing mode quickly, buut I close it by adding "I don't have time for this right now". All their hopes for confrontation go down the drain. Oh yeah-that's fun!

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#287106 - 11/30/07 01:46 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Maqlu]
Kallista Offline


Registered: 11/20/07
Posts: 23
Loc: Long Island, NY
This one time, someone had these photocopies of some bible propaganda, highlighted in crayon, with crosses drawn all over it in crayon, and "your going to hell" "repent" and such written all over it in different color crayon shoved in my mailbox. There were also references to the devil and other biblical quotes, all still written in crayon all over it. Im not sure exactly who it was intended for because I lived in a tenement house and I don't know how they could have possibly known we were Satanist. Everyone (except me and the girl on the top floor) were musicians. But still. It was kinda freeky, and really fuckin funny. I wish I still had it, it was on my fridge until we moved.
_________________________
I used to be Snow White, I drifted..(Mae West)

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#287109 - 11/30/07 01:57 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Kallista]
mighty_honour_kr Offline


Registered: 10/20/07
Posts: 112
Loc: Scotland, United Kingdom
Mormons used to visit all the low income housing in this area years and years ago. I guess it wasn't worth saving.
_________________________
"Because we do not know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. And yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, an afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being that you cannot conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four, or five times more? Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless..."

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#287110 - 11/30/07 01:59 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: mighty_honour_kr]
Kallista Offline


Registered: 11/20/07
Posts: 23
Loc: Long Island, NY
My assistant is a Mormon. I thought they were an urban legend.
_________________________
I used to be Snow White, I drifted..(Mae West)

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#287125 - 11/30/07 04:00 PM Re: What do YOU get out of it? [Re: Citizen Varrian]
RandomStranger Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 03/09/05
Posts: 2770
Loc: Here.
Exactly. Had some help with my Rain Bird system a few years ago that very same way. Coolest thing I remember the guy saying:

(while crouched down) "If it wasn't for my Temple Garments protecting me, I'd be sporting quite the plumber's crack!"

You can't put a price on humor like that.
_________________________




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#287170 - 11/30/07 06:02 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: hellbent666]
Poetaster Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 01/20/06
Posts: 2334
Loc: East Coast, USA.
 Quote:
All points are valid to an extent


There is such a thing as just being plain wrong.

Being so open-minded that your brain falls out is not the ultimate moral imperative.
_________________________
"People who harbor strong convictions without evidence belong at the margins of our societies, not in our halls of power. The only thing we should respect in a person’s faith is his desire for a better life in this world; we need never have respected his certainty that one awaits him in the next."

- Sam Harris





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#287178 - 11/30/07 06:26 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Poetaster]
mighty_honour_kr Offline


Registered: 10/20/07
Posts: 112
Loc: Scotland, United Kingdom
 Originally Posted By: Poetaster
Being so open-minded that your brain falls out is not the ultimate moral imperative.


I could kiss you.
_________________________
"Because we do not know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. And yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, an afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being that you cannot conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four, or five times more? Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless..."

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#287185 - 11/30/07 07:04 PM Re: Your introduction. [Re: Fueld by Fire]
RottenBonnie Offline


Registered: 04/28/07
Posts: 546
Loc: The West Coast, USA
 Originally Posted By: Fueld by Fire
Please bare with me. Thankyou for the link.


Cool! I'll bare with you. What do you want to bare? Are we just going to do a quick flash or do you want to do a prolonged baring?
_________________________
"The smartest, most passionate, most beautiful women I've met have been Satanists. I don't mean "beautiful on the inside where it really counts;" I mean gorgeous, vibrant, curvy women." Blanche Barton

"There's no such thing as too many books." Poetaster

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#287218 - 11/30/07 08:46 PM It Works! [Re: RandomStranger]
LKRice Offline

CoS Priestess

Registered: 06/28/01
Posts: 6359
I'm moving this weekend and spent the better part of the day lugging boxes around. This evening a pair of Mormons stopped by. Having read your post yesterday, I mentioned I was in the process of moving and they offered to come back to help me tomorrow.

What does it matter that their real purpose is to proselytize? A sermon is a small price to pay for something that's of great benefit to me.
_________________________
Director
Committee for the
Promotion of Vice and
Prevention of Virtue

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#287224 - 11/30/07 09:03 PM Re: It Works! [Re: LKRice]
Taubmann Offline


Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 123
Loc: Basque Country
 Originally Posted By: LKRice
I'm moving this weekend and spent the better part of the day lugging boxes around. This evening a pair of Mormons stopped by. Having read your post yesterday, I mentioned I was in the process of moving and they offered to come back to help me tomorrow.

What does it matter that their real purpose is to proselytize? A sermon is a small price to pay for something that's of great benefit to me.


Some Krishna Temples are great too, they give you a sermon, chant a little bit and then invite you to awesome veggie indian food.
_________________________
“People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.”

Kierkegaard

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#287279 - 12/01/07 04:23 AM Re: Your introduction. [Re: RottenBonnie]
Fueld by Fire Offline


Registered: 11/05/07
Posts: 16
Loc: Coupville Wa
You decide.

One more PM twards your cause.
_________________________
Power is easy to obtain. Wielding your power successfully is the true test.

Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward. Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both. For a wounded man shall say to his assailant "If I live, I will kill you. If I die you are forgiven." Such is the rule of honor
-Randy Blythe, Lamb of God

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#287376 - 12/01/07 09:08 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Bill_M]
Evil_Eve Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 4234
Loc: 1313 Mockingbird Lane
 Quote:
Different sects of the same religion still follow the same deity structure and use the same canon, just emphasizing some parts over others.


Exactly!

They wear the same wool, yes Sir, yes Sir, three bales full.

I love the way the mind works (or....interprets things differently).

We have the Xtians that believe Jesus is coming back....and those Xtians that ALSO believe Jesus is coming back......but in a different way.

My favorite Xtians are those who believe that everything is 'predestined'.

I have had a conversation or two with a couple who actually believe that GOD KNOWS who and who will NOT be 'saved' and go to heaven.

My argument with them was always the same....

If God 'knows' then why all this crap? WHY? Why would he have people who he KNOWS will not accept him to simply die and burn in a place called 'Hell'?

They never seemed to have a good answer. The answer always was along the lines of...God knows what he's doing and who are YOU to question an almighty God?

I went further and asked them why they are missionaries? Why do they preach the word if....the ones who are destined to be saved shall be saved?

This is God's plan (is their answer).

Then we have those who believe that Jesus is coming and will 'rapture' (A word NOT used in the Xtian Bible) up his chosen.

The JW's crack Me up the most.

They feel a certain number of people will be saved. Okay fine, but.....if only a certain number will be chosen........why would you tell anyone else?

I would make sure I was one of the 144 thousand or.....whatever the Hell number it is.

As far as missionaries are concerned......hey, give em a break. THEY CAN BE FUN to SCREW WITH!

I'll invite one in. Show them My Ritual Chamber....give them a cookie? Nobody wants to come in though when I answer the door in a hooded Ritual Robe. Hmmmmmm.

I think I have been blackballed by the Xtians. They simply do not come around anymore. \:\(
_________________________
Satan LIVES!
If you could....would YOU?



"Our religion does not require martyrs."
Magistra Nadramia.

FEARED!
Revered.
YOU can be a voice for the voiceless.


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#287445 - 12/02/07 10:08 AM Re: Missionaries [Re: Evil_Eve]
RaSc Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 07/17/07
Posts: 484
Loc: PA
I love the Rapture concept. Anytime someone brings it up, I tell them that it already happened - Sometime around 4 p.m., last Tuesday. It's true and I know because I helped some of them onto the heaven short bus.

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#287492 - 12/02/07 02:02 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: RaSc]
zodiac Offline

CoS Warlock

Registered: 10/03/07
Posts: 189
Loc: Virginia
I have had conversations about so called end time prophecies before with Christians the problem is there is controversy in the Christian ranks about this rapture and how things will play out. I find no credibility in what they say besides they all cannot agree on what they believe. These baseless teachings are common in Christian communities. I cannot speak for anyone else but in my past I have seen people so consumed with this load of shit they would believe anything the preacher said without question. In my opinion they get what they deserve. \:\/
_________________________
Hail Satan!
Zodiac

Nature does nothing uselessly.
Aristotle

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence,then is not an act,but a habit.
Aristotle











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#287498 - 12/02/07 02:36 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: zodiac]
RaSc Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 07/17/07
Posts: 484
Loc: PA
Conversing with them can take up a lot of useful time. They will all try to convince you that they are right and everyone else is wrong. Meanwhile, everyone else is convinced they are right, but in actuality they just don't know how wrong they really are. It's all a bunch of circular logic.

It doesn't stop with the end times, but also spills over to the concept of Satan. They say that the greatest thing the Devil ever did was to convince mankind that he didn't exist. I say that (to paraphrase Satanic Statement #9) they should thank the Devil for giving them something to blame and complain about. Of course, saying that the Devil really doesn't exist just proves their point. They have 2,000 years of manipulation under their belt and are really good at it. The best thing is to avoid discussions with them because all they really want is to do is hear themselves talk. Talking is one way of converting, and arguing their point just gives them a spiritual erection.

The usual disclaimer: The opinions expressed by this member is his own and not necessarily that of the Church of Satan.


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#287502 - 12/02/07 03:21 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: zodiac]
Roho_the_Rooster Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 03/10/05
Posts: 6999
Loc: Pre-Apocalypolis
What makes this whole thing even more peculiar is that the concept of the rapture is one area where many contemporary Christians show how little they actually understand their own writings. The rapture concept actually has the early teachings back asswards.
_________________________
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http://theepicureandilettante.blogspot.com/

"Life is the only race you lose by reaching the end." - M.M.

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#287525 - 12/02/07 06:17 PM Re: It Works! [Re: LKRice]
RandomStranger Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 03/09/05
Posts: 2770
Loc: Here.
Very nice! Free labor from well dressed, polite men? You cannot go wrong with that.
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#300517 - 01/22/08 06:13 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Fueld by Fire]
farjalikhali Offline


Registered: 01/03/08
Posts: 52
Loc: Colorado
 Quote:
Does anybody else have encounters with Missionaries?


I don't just have encounters with them.
I have encounters that result in the loss of their innocence.

My first Mormon missionary, I saw him and thought, "Hottie. I want."

I started the path of corruption with green tea and ended with a threesome. With another boy.


 Quote:
I believe that they had never encoutered a person like me before


The sheer number of people I have known, real or textual, who seem to think that it's humorous to brag about scaring missionaries with tales of being Satan, is absolutely staggering.

You know what?
They don't care.
REALLY.

They went home, prayed for your soul... and then went to sleep.
Thinking of all the people they would save tomorrow.
_________________________
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle.
Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way.
So I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

-Emo Philips

It's hard to be religious when certain people
are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.

-Bill Watterson

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#301065 - 01/24/08 09:15 AM Re: Missionaries [Re: farjalikhali]
Roho_the_Rooster Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 03/10/05
Posts: 6999
Loc: Pre-Apocalypolis
 Originally Posted By: farjalikhali


They went home, prayed for your soul... and then went to sleep.
Thinking of all the people they would save tomorrow.



Or...They went back and bragged about the threesome they just had.
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#301067 - 01/24/08 09:23 AM Re: Missionaries [Re: Roho_the_Rooster]
farjalikhali Offline


Registered: 01/03/08
Posts: 52
Loc: Colorado
Oh, but those are my Mormons.

Sometimes I leave the poor guys alone. \:D
_________________________
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle.
Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way.
So I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

-Emo Philips

It's hard to be religious when certain people
are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.

-Bill Watterson

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#301171 - 01/24/08 04:42 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: Fueld by Fire]
GCaesarWhiskers Offline


Registered: 01/14/08
Posts: 92
Loc: TN, USA
During the late 1980's-early to mid 90's when I attended college
at MTSU in Murfreesboro, TN., I must have gotten "scent-marked"
by one of them as a sinner, because at one point around 92-93,
I was getting religious pamphlets once or twice a week.

One particularly memorable "event" was when I worked at a
convenience store called "W.T.'s" on Old Fort Pkwy.

It was around 7:30 in the evening (a Thursday, I think) when a
white van pulled up next to the store. A blond "gentleman"
in his mid-40's(?) with a young daughter (she was 3 or so)
came in and bought something.

He gently placed her, standing on the counter and got out his
money; so far, so good.

And then, almost as an afterthought, he reaches into his
coat pocket and hands me a small religious tract with the
provocative title :"How you know that you are going to Heaven".
\:> \:> \:>

I explained as politely as if I was hosting a UN summit,
"Thank you, but no thank you. I have actually received THIS
pamphlet in the past three days." I really had, honestly!

He then nudged it back to me and said, "No, I want YOU to have
it."

To which I replied:"Oh, that's okay, really. But thank you
so much." ;\)

He seemed slightly perturbed.

He took the religious tract back, picked up his daughter,
and headed toward the door.

As he did this, he was glaring at me saying "Well, it's out
of MY hands, now! It's between you and GA-WAD. It's not my
fault if you go to hell..."

To which I just smiled and said:

"I'm sure that God understands, and that he is proud of you.
At least you got your "brownie points" ".

You could have heard a pin drop in the awkward silence that followed.
Then Dr. David Banner's switch got flipped!

The guy turned four sheets of red, "BROWNIE POINTS?!"
"BROWNIE POINTS!? "

Mark H. (my boss at the time) was in a little side room
doing the books. He hears the man screaming at the top
of his lungs, and comes out to see what is wrong.

The parasit- er um, proselyte then says "If I wasn't a
Christian, I'd whoop his ASS!"

\:D \:D \:D

I simply CANNOT make up this stuff! \:\)

The man finally leaves, and Mark tells me to just "take
the paper" next time.

I just hope wasn't this guy's final exam to becoming
a "Royal Ranger"...

GCaesarWhiskers


Edited by GCaesarWhiskers (01/25/08 07:58 AM)
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May your fields always be full of food
May your dwelling be warm and dry
May your predators be dead or far away
And may your dominant mate always be happy to see you

Meerkat Blessing



www.vampiretemple.com

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#301190 - 01/24/08 07:55 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: GCaesarWhiskers]
DaggerJack Offline


Registered: 10/25/07
Posts: 88
Loc: California, USA
Living in a dorm, I don't get the opportunities to torment these guys anymore. But I will relate my favorite story.

I was making pasta sauce when the doorbell rang. My hands and apron are covered in blood from the meat, and I can recognize these guys as the same JW's that had been coming by WEEKLY. So I take our biggest, nastiest carving knife out of the block, wipe some of my apron off on the blade, and answer the door with:

"Yeeeesssssssssssssssssssssss....ssss......ssss...sss...s?"

The look on their faces was priceless.


Edited by DaggerJack (01/24/08 08:00 PM)
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#301197 - 01/24/08 09:39 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: DaggerJack]
GCaesarWhiskers Offline


Registered: 01/14/08
Posts: 92
Loc: TN, USA
Very Nice!

Thank You for sharing that wonderful image!

GCaesarWhiskers
_________________________
May your fields always be full of food
May your dwelling be warm and dry
May your predators be dead or far away
And may your dominant mate always be happy to see you

Meerkat Blessing



www.vampiretemple.com

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#301221 - 01/25/08 01:04 AM Re: Missionaries [Re: Fueld by Fire]
ModernTantalus Offline


Registered: 05/05/06
Posts: 325
I may have recounted this story before, but since you ask...
Missionaries seem to find the worst time to knock. In this particular instance I was enjoying some internet porn and engaging in some rather personal activities. There was a knock on the door. My brother and step-mother were supposed to come over, but not until later in the day. I assumed they were early and zipped up. When I answered the door there were a couple of Mormon girls, couldn't have been older than 18, and there I was with a raging boner. They asked if I'd pray to God and ask him if I should listen to what they had to say or not. I said I was prepared to listen already and they were welcome to come in. Naturally, they declined, but promised to come back later and find out what God had told me. I never saw them, or any other Mormons, ever again.

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#301278 - 01/25/08 08:12 AM Re: Missionaries [Re: ModernTantalus]
GCaesarWhiskers Offline


Registered: 01/14/08
Posts: 92
Loc: TN, USA
I'm sorry that You could not have had a tryst as
Farjalikhali had!
(Surely the deflowering of two hot, barely-legal
"daughters of christ" would be worthy of Penthouse
Letters, or at least something produced by Larry Flynt! ;\) ).

Come to think of it, that scenario sounds like a good
fantasy.

This is a little before my time, but I heard that in
the 60's there was someone who started a movement where
beautiful, young women were "hooking for christ".

It sounds like a great marketing plan to me!

If I had to give up 10% of my income, I don't think a
"righteous nut" or two would be too much to ask.


GCaesarWhiskers


Edited by GCaesarWhiskers (01/25/08 08:13 AM)
_________________________
May your fields always be full of food
May your dwelling be warm and dry
May your predators be dead or far away
And may your dominant mate always be happy to see you

Meerkat Blessing



www.vampiretemple.com

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#301283 - 01/25/08 08:26 AM Re: Missionaries [Re: GCaesarWhiskers]
reprobate Offline

CoS Warlock

Registered: 06/05/02
Posts: 7140
Loc: Canada
 Quote:
This is a little before my time, but I heard that in the 60's there was someone who started a movement where beautiful, young women were "hooking for christ".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flirty_fishing
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reprobate

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#301292 - 01/25/08 09:41 AM Re: Missionaries [Re: reprobate]
GCaesarWhiskers Offline


Registered: 01/14/08
Posts: 92
Loc: TN, USA
Thank You, Reprobate!

GCaesarWhiskers
_________________________
May your fields always be full of food
May your dwelling be warm and dry
May your predators be dead or far away
And may your dominant mate always be happy to see you

Meerkat Blessing



www.vampiretemple.com

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#301600 - 01/26/08 03:27 PM Re: Missionaries [Re: GCaesarWhiskers]
DaggerJack Offline


Registered: 10/25/07
Posts: 88
Loc: California, USA
The penthouse letter comment reminded me. I couldn't vote at the time, but I had a Larry Flynt bumper sticker for the CA recall election.
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#450805 - 05/01/11 06:52 AM Re: Missionaries [Re: Fueld by Fire]
Citizen_HHG Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 411
Loc: the Netherlands
I only once had to experience these people at my frontdoor; had some friendly conversations and when they were about to hand over their literature I offered them a trade.... "Ok I'll take your stuff as you will take mine", and I offered them a Satanic Bible and they were a bit offended and since this day I never had the pleasure to deal with them again. Pity folks.
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Hail Satan!

Citizen_HHG


www.churchofsatan.com
www.vampiretemple.com

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#450810 - 05/01/11 08:52 AM Re: Missionaries [Re: Fueld by Fire]
Kernel Offline


Registered: 04/20/11
Posts: 72
Loc: Nothern Europe
They've never came to knock on my front door, in here homes are private and most buildings have locked doors so that only residents may enter. While on the city, that's a different matter all together. In there everyone is free meat so to speak.

These people spout this or that, some more entertaining than others. Sometimes when I'm not in a hurry I may stop by, they give me this paper that spouts usually something like "Jesus saves" or something. Then there's some quotations from their bible. I read it, and then start to question these people about this or that. What's amusing, they usually know quite little of what they believe in. They say "I believe in this" without knowing what "this" actually holds.

I never go saying to them that I'm a Satanist or something other. I let them make their assumptions as they go. Sometimes right, sometimes wrong.

There's this one guy who actually had good points, met him in a coffee shop some years back and we discussed for some hours about religion in general. He had good points that justified his belief and that's that. It was refreshing to discuss with someone who actually had something of a point no matter the religion and wasn't trying to convert you to this or that.

He keeps this "Jesus Buss" in here, gives away free food and coffee and so forth for the people in the city who need it badly enough - and surprisingly without any Stigma attached to it, no pamphlets, no talks about how some entity will save you, if people want they can talk to the staff but that's it. It was refreshing, when seeing some of those people who frequent the city are plain rude.
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