I am actually considering one of these type rituals, It seems they are needed to purge the light from my mind.

You have been programmed and it's going to take some time consciously accepting what has been contrary and hidden away subconsciously (as you realize more and more of just what that is).

Patience.

Rome was not built in one day.

To feel your parent's "indoctrination" more positively, have you considered that they might have given you excellent values around love and trust? From a Satanic perspective, those who deserve your love and trust will probably share those values and reciprocate your sensitivity and support.

In practice, I have found it useful to write a list of people who I feel deserve my love and trust and, most importantly, WHY. My answers have helped me build a sound foundation for the criteria I use to assess whether people are worthy. Or not...

Quote:

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But the fear of death makes me wish for an afterlife, that I might never taste death and never have to stop enjoying living.

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How does the idea of Physical Immortality strike you?

Moria,

DarkMasterPrince has made a very good point.

A conflict between fantasy and reality is making you depressed and you use the word baggage to describe it.

The root of the word baggage means to tie up in bundles.

You used this word to describe your mental encumbrances and want to get rid of them. Maybe they just need re-organising. Sort through them properly. The thoughts you think are rubbish may just be in the wrong bundles.

Fantasy requires a dressing up box

Reality requires an everyday clothes cupboard.

Just my thoughts.

Fifi

Good point. That was a very though provoking response, of which I'll be no doubt ruminating over for a while. Thank you for the comment.

Moria

In the churches I've been to, I have seen a lesser form of "calisthenic propaganda" and exercises that seem to tap into physiology. I'm rather surprised that these here churches don't do it more, actually. I don't know if I'm missing some of their crazier stuff, or if those tactics haven't occurred to them, or what.

I agree with this very much. Reading these texts will allow you to logically sort out the irrational bs from your christian upbringing. (And if you were truly born a Satanist, it shouldn't be too difficult to see that reason when it's put in text like the afore mentioned.)

It's awfully strange to suddenly drop all those things drilled into one's head since birth, but one's true nature always seems to pour out like a light shining from within the cracks of a faulty belief system--if that light is strong enough.

I hope everyone's advice has been helpful to you. Happy trails to you.

You may also want to check out Reverend Sprague's Millenium: Aspects From Another Angle . It contains some choice Satanic apologia (I believe it is available at the CoS Emporium).