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#293805 - 12/28/07 02:27 AM Ever Forward!
Matthew_Whitby Offline
Banned

Registered: 08/14/07
Posts: 150
Loc: Australia
Members,

I'm really not sure of where to post this; as this is kind of something new being brought to the board from my own personal perspective. Lately some changes have occured in my life that have truly helped me to understand life a little more. I realise now that I was actually quite ignorant; and that perhaps my behaviour was too harsh.

I recently lost my grandfather, who, for the most part, was a firm supporter of my religious ideology. But one thing has truly made me realise something: at the day of the funeral all were fine. People laughed and had some jokes about him, simple humor to take the edge off a bad situation. Then at the very end of the funeral; the curtains closed. It hit me extremely hard.

Knowing that I would never see my grandfather again, knowing he is now nothing but a useless corpse...has truly made me understand just how short life is. I'm very young, and at this point, generally don't have much of a perception on social morality. How people think, what they do. Basic understanding of how society truly works; and how it is nothing as I had viewed it before.

Looking back now at my actions on this message board, has made me realise how insolent I was in my judging of others; when I know quite well that I too have made mistakes and are just as guilty as anyone else. Basically, I was being a complete fuck-head and wonder why I wasn't permanently banned. However I am thankful that I wasn't, and I think in a weird way being away from the Internet and out in the real world has changed my views.

As most of you know I'm currently serving in the Australian Defence Force. Soon though; by the end of mid-February it appears I might be being deployed for my first tour in Iraq or Afghanistan. This thought does scare me a little but I look at it as an accomplishment. I'm starting to realise that I am beginning to make big changes in my life in order to advance.

Many things in life are to easily underestimated. The power we have and represent as individuals; the entity we represent simply by our existance; and the knowledge and wisdom we gain by exposing ourselves to the harshness of reality. Life is just too short to waste time when we could be doing things out in the real world and making things better for ourselves and for others.

I'm extremely appreciative of the privileges I have received, I've always had a roof over my head, always had food in my stomach, and the fact I was born with a fully-functional brain and no physical besmirching deformaties. I plan on making things better for myself and for others.

Again, I apologise to anyone & everyone who has had to, over the past, be exposed to my then ignorance and insolence. My actions have been futile and I don't expect a warm-welcoming back. But I plan on making things right in my life one step at a time. I'm going to further and advance my life through the applications of Satanic Philosophy, and the privileges I have.

I thank you all, and it's truly an honor serving for you fine folk.

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#293808 - 12/28/07 03:00 AM Re: Ever Forward! [Re: Matthew_Whitby]
Mr Avarice Offline



Registered: 12/04/07
Posts: 991
Loc: Scandinavia
I lost my Grandfather too. It was his death that made me want to live.

Good luck in Iraq. Don't die.

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#293817 - 12/28/07 03:21 AM Re: Ever Forward! [Re: Mr Avarice]
Matthew_Whitby Offline
Banned

Registered: 08/14/07
Posts: 150
Loc: Australia
Thanks alot, mate. Greatly appreciated.

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#293838 - 12/28/07 05:37 AM Re: Ever Forward! [Re: Matthew_Whitby]
TheNaturalForce Offline
Banned

Registered: 02/28/07
Posts: 511
Loc: The Vibrant Garden
Marching forward, ever onward. Only stop to smell the roses.
_________________________
SNAP!

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#293857 - 12/28/07 07:32 AM Re: Ever Forward! [Re: Matthew_Whitby]
Colonel Kurtz Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 12/09/07
Posts: 192
Drink water and make gramps proud!

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#293911 - 12/28/07 11:09 AM Re: Ever Forward! [Re: Matthew_Whitby]
Auen74 Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 09/08/07
Posts: 103
Loc: Pennsylvania
Good luck when you get to either Iraq or Afghanistan. Be safe.

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#294170 - 12/29/07 03:40 AM Re: Ever Forward! [Re: Auen74]
StellaMaris Offline


Registered: 11/16/07
Posts: 27
I know where you're coming from. I had always tried to live knowing my life could end at any moment, but it wasn't until my mother passed and I heard some of her last words: "It was so short!" that this REALLY hit home. It spurred me into action regarding things I had been ambivalent about/procrastinating, and brought into sharper focus that which really matters. Now, I strive to accomplish more, but don't dwell on my shortcomings, because what matters is that I do what I can with whatever resources and attributes I have, make the best of any situation, don't invest my energy in unrewarding pursuits, and hopefully leave a positive legacy with those I interact with!

Thanks for sharing this, and may you find success(and stay safe!) in your current pursuits!

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#294418 - 12/29/07 07:30 PM Re: Ever Forward! [Re: Matthew_Whitby]
Nemo Offline
CoS Magister

Registered: 10/06/02
Posts: 12558
Loc: Point Nemo s48:52:31:748, w123...
My condolences to you over the loss of your relative.

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#294525 - 12/30/07 05:32 AM Re: Ever Forward! [Re: Nemo]
Matthew_Whitby Offline
Banned

Registered: 08/14/07
Posts: 150
Loc: Australia
Thank you all!

Again, it's truly an honour to serve for all you good folk out there. Thank you all for your kind words and appreciation!

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#294527 - 12/30/07 05:49 AM Re: Ever Forward! [Re: Matthew_Whitby]
Matthew_Whitby Offline
Banned

Registered: 08/14/07
Posts: 150
Loc: Australia
Sorry guys, I apologise, I'm being deployed for my Secound Tour; not my first. I'll fix the mistake if the post still has the ability to be edited.

Sorry guys!

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#294539 - 12/30/07 07:31 AM Re: Ever Forward! [Re: Matthew_Whitby]
Eibon Offline

CoS Member

Registered: 03/26/07
Posts: 1802
Loc: Delaware
Matthew,

You have no corner on the ignorance market. My self and may others shop there on a daily basis and hawk our newly bought wares much to often here. I think it was Eve who recently and wisely stated (and I poorly paraphrase) that it is not about the mistakes we make here but how we learn from them and move onward. (my apologies EVE, for the paraphrase).

BE well and safe. Ever onward. Keep that black flame burning!!!

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#294540 - 12/30/07 07:36 AM Re: Ever Forward! [Re: Eibon]
Matthew_Whitby Offline
Banned

Registered: 08/14/07
Posts: 150
Loc: Australia
Innominandum,

Thank you for your kind words. I think that phrase does validate the entirty of my current situation and past behaviours. I'm recognising my mistakes moving onward to learn, study, and use what resources I have to advance.

The black flame burns!

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#294543 - 12/30/07 08:01 AM Re: Ever Forward! [Re: Matthew_Whitby]
Eibon Offline

CoS Member

Registered: 03/26/07
Posts: 1802
Loc: Delaware
I look forward to your safe return home!!

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#294546 - 12/30/07 08:09 AM Re: Ever Forward! [Re: Matthew_Whitby]
yobbos1 Offline


Registered: 04/21/07
Posts: 10
I recently have lost two close members of my family. It is interesting to me that while many take comfort in the fantasy of an afterlife and use this to proceed through the grieving process I came away from the experience with a more tenacious white knuckle grip on the here-and-now. Concentrate on LIFE and you will heal fast. Good luck and stay safe.

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#294557 - 12/30/07 09:17 AM Re: Ever Forward! [Re: Matthew_Whitby]
Poetaster Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 01/20/06
Posts: 2334
Loc: East Coast, USA.
First let me express my condolences concerning your loss. I know that I will be a nervous wreck when my grandfather passes, so I don't envy you your position.

I've seen people come and go, and hundreds of them have been much worse than you are; you really aren't that bad. Sure, you typed some things that weren't so smooth, but if I expected every one to be perfectly suave every time they sat down to their computers, I'd be setting myself up for some severe disappointment. Very few people here have never put their feet in their mouths, or come off as looking genuinely retarded. I've done it many times and will probably do so many more. I've been reprimanded for putting my nose where it doesn't belong and for saying some pretty dumb shit, but hey, it happens, I just don't make a habit of it, or at least I try my very best not too.

I respect the fact that you humbled yourself in this manner and that speaks volumes about your character. It may seem clichè, but it does indeed take a confident and well adjusted person to admit when they've made an ass of themselves and to willingly put it out in the open the way you did. And well, it takes balls too. Growing and learning is all a part of life and you're young, so you have the best years of development still ahead of you. Being able to admit to your mistakes, and the ability to learn from them are two of the greatest assets a person can have, and it appears that you have them. I applaud that.

I also applaud your military service and wish you the best over there. Kick some Jihadist ass.


Edited by Poetaster (12/30/07 09:22 AM)
_________________________
"People who harbor strong convictions without evidence belong at the margins of our societies, not in our halls of power. The only thing we should respect in a person’s faith is his desire for a better life in this world; we need never have respected his certainty that one awaits him in the next."

- Sam Harris





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#294560 - 12/30/07 09:32 AM Re: Ever Forward! [Re: Poetaster]
Matthew_Whitby Offline
Banned

Registered: 08/14/07
Posts: 150
Loc: Australia
Thank you for your condolences, and your appreciation for my position within the Military.

As a man; one makes mistakes and one who can learn from those mistakes will be well responded to. Openly admitting the flaws in his statements by acknowledging and openly stating those mistakes.

Again, thank you for your appreciation and your applaud. It's nice to hear that I've done the right thing.

Death to the IIM!

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#295248 - 01/02/08 12:00 PM Re: Ever Forward! [Re: Matthew_Whitby]
Roho_the_Rooster Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 03/10/05
Posts: 6999
Loc: Pre-Apocalypolis
First of all, you have my condolences on your loss. Grandparents can be a very important part of our lives. I am sorry that you have had to go through that.

As far as the actions you are referring to, I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. Maybe I have not read enough posts; or, perhaps you are referring to activities that are more common than you think. At any rate, it seems that this event has acted as a catalyst for positive change. Good for you.

I am not sure of your age. If you are typical, you are probably about half my age. And, I assume that the activities you are referring to have something to do with posting things with little regard how others will be affected by it. Am I correct? I will tell you a secret, but you must promise not to tell anyone. When I was half my age…in my 20’s, I thought I was completely grown up. But, I have found that there is still a lot of development that takes place well into adulthood. One of the things that can take time to develop is empathy. It takes time, and a variety of experiences to truly appreciate how your actions affect others. I am still learning. It is good that you are growing up.
_________________________
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/clickToGive/home.faces

http://theepicureandilettante.blogspot.com/

"Life is the only race you lose by reaching the end." - M.M.

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