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#296969 - 01/09/08 04:22 PM The Meanest Mom on the Planet
RottenBonnie Offline


Registered: 04/28/07
Posts: 546
Loc: The West Coast, USA
Now this is what I am talking about when it comes to responsible parenting. A parent's job is to set boundaries (yes, even for a 19 year old--especially one for whom they have purchased a car) and if the rules are broken enforce the consequences. As a parent, part of your responsibility is to teach responsibility.

"Responsibility to the Responsible", I say! This kid will remember this lesson for the rest of his life.
_________________________
"The smartest, most passionate, most beautiful women I've met have been Satanists. I don't mean "beautiful on the inside where it really counts;" I mean gorgeous, vibrant, curvy women." Blanche Barton

"There's no such thing as too many books." Poetaster

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#296974 - 01/09/08 04:35 PM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: RottenBonnie]
ledbymusic Offline


Registered: 01/07/08
Posts: 63
Loc: SoCal
Bravo to the mother for her actions. She gave her child the rules and he broke them. Her actions were totally justified in what she did.

More parents in the world today need to be just like this. I have two children 6 and 4 and I hold the accountable for what they do. Their mother, the mother and I are divorced, tries to tell me that what they do is okay because they are so young. The fact of the matter is that my children know what they can and can't do.

The problem is that they have two households. One with mom and one with dad. They get away with almost everything with their mother but not with me. I do not allow my son to hit his sister because he wants to and she has done nothing to him.

The end state here is responsibility to the responsible. Congratulations to the mother in that article.
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"After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music. Aldous Huxley (1894-1963)"

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#297002 - 01/09/08 07:25 PM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: RottenBonnie]
G.F.V. Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 12/31/04
Posts: 1951
Loc: NYC
Now that's what I call a Mother!

Many degenerate peers in my college class have had their parents hand a car to them for nothing, and paid their insurance. Some have been involved in a ton of trouble with incidents related to drunk driving or careless idiocy on the road. And what would happen in the aftermath? The parents would go "ohh it's ok, let's give him another chance, people make mistakes".

And the same fuck-ups would just keep fucking up again.

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#297004 - 01/09/08 07:28 PM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: RottenBonnie]
Bill_M Offline
CoS Reverend

Registered: 07/28/01
Posts: 11560
Loc: New England, USA
I don't know if I would have gone so far as to take the car and sell it (especially since I don't know who actually paid for the car in the first place, how many times this has happened, etc.). But the ad sure was funny.
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#297019 - 01/09/08 08:02 PM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: Bill_M]
RottenBonnie Offline


Registered: 04/28/07
Posts: 546
Loc: The West Coast, USA
 Originally Posted By: Bill_M
I don't know if I would have gone so far as to take the car and sell it (especially since I don't know who actually paid for the car in the first place, how many times this has happened, etc


"She said she set two rules when she bought the car at Thanksgiving: no booze and keep it locked."

You'd think the moron could follow TWO rules. But, no, three weeks later: booze. What an idiot. He deserved what he got. AND He's lucky that his mom even cares--he probably never will drink and drive (or have booze in the car) after this!
_________________________
"The smartest, most passionate, most beautiful women I've met have been Satanists. I don't mean "beautiful on the inside where it really counts;" I mean gorgeous, vibrant, curvy women." Blanche Barton

"There's no such thing as too many books." Poetaster

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#297061 - 01/09/08 09:54 PM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: RottenBonnie]
AurEum Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 11/16/07
Posts: 1158
Loc: Australia
Good for her! I'm so tired of seeing parents pacify their children with money instead of teaching them how to become responsible, productive members of society. We need more moms like her!
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#297062 - 01/09/08 09:59 PM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: RottenBonnie]
Citizen Varrian Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 10/10/07
Posts: 38
Loc: Utah
I love strict parenting... especially those with the personality and/or sense of humor to pull off making a public statement as well. Working at eBay, the recent auction caught my eye and has a very similar story.

Teach Son a Lesson

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#297073 - 01/09/08 10:41 PM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: RottenBonnie]
Bill_M Offline
CoS Reverend

Registered: 07/28/01
Posts: 11560
Loc: New England, USA
 Originally Posted By: RottenBonnie
He deserved what he got.

Or maybe he just has a psychotic mother that drove him to drink in the first place. Who knows. These sorts of anecdotes are largely published to appeal to self-righteous parents who have no life outside of parenting, and want to vicariously take sides in other people's drama (a past time for many soccer moms, I've noticed). It's almost right up there with the mass-forwarded "missing child" hoaxes. There's no need to take this piece beyond its comedic value.
_________________________
Reverend Bill M.

http://www.devilsmischief.com: Carnal Comedy Clips, Netherworld Novelty Numbers,
New hour every week. Download the mp3 now!

http://www.aplaceformystuff.org: Tales of Combat Clutter and other Adventures

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#297089 - 01/10/08 12:49 AM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: Bill_M]
RottenBonnie Offline


Registered: 04/28/07
Posts: 546
Loc: The West Coast, USA
 Originally Posted By: Bill_M
These sorts of anecdotes are largely published to appeal to self-righteous parents who have no life outside of parenting


Which I do not, but it is always better when someone else points it out to you.
_________________________
"The smartest, most passionate, most beautiful women I've met have been Satanists. I don't mean "beautiful on the inside where it really counts;" I mean gorgeous, vibrant, curvy women." Blanche Barton

"There's no such thing as too many books." Poetaster

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#297095 - 01/10/08 02:10 AM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: RottenBonnie]
Mr Avarice Offline



Registered: 12/04/07
Posts: 991
Loc: Scandinavia
While I like the idea of parents preaching responsibility for real, Bill_M might be right about his drinking habit. We can not possibly judge the son or the mother with our lack of information...


Edited by The Black Waltz (01/10/08 02:11 AM)

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#297098 - 01/10/08 03:06 AM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: RottenBonnie]
Trau Offline

CoS Member

Registered: 08/21/07
Posts: 168
Loc: Virginia
Assuming the story is as presented, I think this mom is spot-on! It's funny - I'm raising two teen-aged boys, and one of the things I've told them is that my job is not to be liked, loved, or admired. Those are all great side effects. My job is to teach them to be responsible, productive members of society. It's much easier for them to learn these difficult lessons at home rather than out in the world.

This may very well prevent a drunk driving conviction in the future, or worse, prevent someone from getting killed from the child's future drinking and driving. Only time will tell.

Thanks for the post!
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#297156 - 01/10/08 10:47 AM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: Trau]
RottenBonnie Offline


Registered: 04/28/07
Posts: 546
Loc: The West Coast, USA
I have a 17 year old friend (like a little sister--she is the same age as my oldest son) who is beautiful, smart and talented. She desperately needs psychiatric medical attention, but her parents don't think she needs it. She tried to kill herself at the end of August. How could they not think she needs it? Well, because if they admit she needs help they would also have to admit that their alcoholic binges might be getting in the way of their parenting. I worry that she won't live to see 18, either through her high risk behavior or suicide.

She isn't the only one out there. There are lots of kids that are in desperate need while their parents look the other way. It makes me angry. Very angry. I don't see it as a "comical anecdote," when a parent steps in and sets boundaries for their kids that are not making good choices. A 19-year old is still highly influenceable--especially concerning drinking and driving.

With parenting the mantra must always be, "don't reward bad behavior." But parents do it all the time because it is easier (in the short term) than taking a stand and forcing a kid to make the right choices. Especially when the parents real priority is alcohol or drugs. That is life and I can't change it, but I can advocate for something different.
_________________________
"The smartest, most passionate, most beautiful women I've met have been Satanists. I don't mean "beautiful on the inside where it really counts;" I mean gorgeous, vibrant, curvy women." Blanche Barton

"There's no such thing as too many books." Poetaster

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#297158 - 01/10/08 11:15 AM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: RottenBonnie]
Syr Offline


Registered: 01/07/08
Posts: 19
RottenBonnie: Are there no government organisations to inform about this situation? There's one over here in the Netherlands (not that it functions well, but that's another story), but I'm not sure if there are similar organisations in the US.

On the topic and the E-bay auction: brilliant! This hopefully teached the kids that there are consequences to certain actions.
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#297195 - 01/10/08 01:50 PM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: Syr]
RottenBonnie Offline


Registered: 04/28/07
Posts: 546
Loc: The West Coast, USA
Syr,

Thank you for your concern. I have called "CPS," (Child Protective Services) and given my report on the situation after she attempted suicide. Because I am not her parent they took the information but could not give me any, even whether there was an active case on her or not. Of course, when a minor tries suicide "CPS" automatically gets involved.

Initially they went to her father's house and required him to lock up all the sharp objects and alcohol. She was "required" to have visits with a psychiatrist and a psychologist. Since this was last September the alcohol and sharp objects are readily available once again and there has been no follow up on her required psychiatric visits--which she no longer attends. She is fearful that the psychiatrists will divulge information to her parents because she is still a minor.

My guess, however, is that she is so close to 18--they aren't going to do anything. They are just going to ride it out and hope that she makes it to 18. Then she is no longer their responsibility.
_________________________
"The smartest, most passionate, most beautiful women I've met have been Satanists. I don't mean "beautiful on the inside where it really counts;" I mean gorgeous, vibrant, curvy women." Blanche Barton

"There's no such thing as too many books." Poetaster

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#297212 - 01/10/08 04:00 PM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: RottenBonnie]
Poetaster Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 01/20/06
Posts: 2334
Loc: East Coast, USA.
I don't understand why everyone is so quick to crucify the kid. I think we've went through this before, you just don't know enough about the story to so quickly and gleefully give this mother the mother-of-the-year award. It does say right in the article, plain as day, that the alcohol was possibly left by a passenger. Now, before you think that I'm also making mass assumptions, let me explain.

From what we have here, it is just as likely that the kid was being responsible and offering an intoxicated friend a ride home. But in the mad rush to demonize the kid as an irresponsible ingrate and raise up his mother to some bumper-sticker Sainthood, I think that part was conveniently ignored. The point is that in this case, there could certainly be another side to the story. I know that in my world, my mother was always right and I was always wrong, no matter what the problem was. I'm simply not willing to pass judgment based on an article with almost no details.

Perhaps he is a little shit head and deserved such repercussions, or perhaps the mother is simply an overbearing cunt. We really don't know, so what this boils down to is a feel-good story for vested parties; obviously. The only thing that I know for sure, from what little the article covered, is that even after the car was sold, she likes the attention she's getting a little to much to let the add run out. So now it's less about a punishment and more about humiliation (her son) and her own good-guy badge.

Call me crazy, but that's how I see it.



Edited by Poetaster (01/10/08 04:09 PM)
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- Sam Harris





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#297218 - 01/10/08 04:40 PM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: Poetaster]
Bruja Offline

CoS Witch

Registered: 04/22/05
Posts: 2054
Loc: Atlanta, GA.
 Quote:
The only thing that I know for sure, from what little the article covered, is that even after the car was sold, she likes the attention she's getting a little to much to let the add run out. So now it's less about a punishment and more about humiliation (her son) and her own good-guy badge.


Hmm. Good point... and I'm quite sure there are myriads of people out there chomping at the bit to elevate her to Mom Sainthood. I'm personally not so quick to do that, especially when I'm not privvy to the entire story.

If my teen was caught driving while intoxicated in a car that I had purchased for him , I would certainly and swiftly remove that priviledge, no doubt about it. As far as making a spectacle of my son and the situation, that is something that I would not do. My teenager is a lot like I was at his age, and I'd wager that taking that route would inspire further rebellion, bitterness and resentment... not particuarly the desired results.

In my household, consequences are much more effective than humiliation. We all messed up as teens, but this particular guy has his mother to thank for the whole world knowing about this particular screw up (even though she states that she believes that it was not even his alcohol). Was it deserved? Maybe, I can't say as I don't have all of the facts. But it's just not my personal parenting style.

Funny article, though.
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Bruja

"Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't." - Margaret Thatcher

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#297239 - 01/10/08 06:00 PM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: Poetaster]
Michal Offline


Registered: 01/10/08
Posts: 10
Loc: Poland
Poetaster just remainded us how careful we need to be with judgements. I don't wanna justify a drunk driving teenager. However, we can't make judgements based on an article in a newspaper. Truth can be distorted on its way from one person to another. I'm sure that most of us experienced it in their lives.

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#297316 - 01/10/08 09:03 PM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: Poetaster]
AurEum Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 11/16/07
Posts: 1158
Loc: Australia
I agree that we don't know the whole story, but I'm not giving the kid the benefit of doubt on this one.

The kid is 19, obviously not of legal drinking age, which also makes possession of alcohol illegal. So even if he was offering someone a ride home, he shouldn't have allowed alcohol in the car (if one of my co-workers was doped up and asked for a ride home there's no way in hell I'd allow that shit in my car). The bottom line is the kid fucked up and his mom called him on it.
_________________________
** former username Ealaiontor **

"The truth is I've never fooled anyone. I've let people fool themselves. They didn't bother to find out who and what I was. Instead they would invent a character for me. I wouldn't argue with them." - Marilyn Monroe

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#297320 - 01/10/08 09:07 PM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: Poetaster]
sgt_sodomy Offline
Banned Woman Abuser

Registered: 01/10/08
Posts: 42
HERE is an example of a responsible parent!

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2002382718_horse15m.html



anyway...youll have to forgive me, but personally, i think maybe mom was depriving the kid of learning his own lesson. At that age, its time to let them fly or fumble out of the nest onto the cold, hard earth.


Edited by sgt_sodomy (01/10/08 09:09 PM)

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#297338 - 01/10/08 09:24 PM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: AurEum]
TheDegenerate Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 11/11/07
Posts: 3567
Loc: Cowtown
Called him on it? By selling his car, putting a humiliating ad in the newspaper, responding to dozens of "Good for you!" calls by random idiots, even though she herself said she believes her son was not responsible for the alcohol?

And yes, as Poetaster also pointed out (I read the article at work today in the paper again) she has decided to leave the ad up in the paper, even though the car has sold...what?

Punishing your child for a mistake they have made is one thing, and granted, I do not see a problem with that. Selling his CAR on him for it, though it may be extreme, sure I can even see that...depending on the situation. But making a public spectacle, patting yourself on the back for it, and then after said punishment is given, CONTINUING the humiliation for the sole purpose of response, is something completely different.

What kind of lesson is she teaching her son then, aside from "your mother is a gigantic bitch, and media whore." ? Clearly this is a situation that started out as a unique punishment, and spiraled into a desperate grasp for fifteen minutes of fame. As Bruja pointed out, all she will earn by continuing this nonsense is hostility from her son, and, IMO, an inflated sense of self satisfaction that will probably lead her to be more of a bitch in the future.

As for the punishment itself, I don't even really care enough about the details of that to disput it...whatever. But the fact that all the support she has garnered from drooling idiots who can't read between the lines and realize that most of this is self-aggrandizing drivel, and NOT for the benefit of her son, is a crying shame.

A somewhat unique (barely...this has been done before, in ways that at least made more sense.) punishment overblown into a barrage of media coverage...this was in my local city newspaper today, for fucks sake.

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#297341 - 01/10/08 09:26 PM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: sgt_sodomy]
Saraflare Offline


Registered: 12/24/07
Posts: 74
Hell if my parents bought me a car I sure as hell would listen to the rules they set. Most kids my age are so reckless with their cars. I'm thinking, you are so lucky that your parents were generous enough to by you a car! I do not get how some people think? Drunk drive and lose a car, or not drive drunk and keep the car. I think its obvious which one would be the better deal.

I've had so many of my friends get into wrecks, and their parents just go out and get them a new car! If my kid got into a wreck and it was their fault (ex: drugs, alcohol, not paying attention) there would be severe consequences! To many parents just let their kids do whatever they want; run around oblivious to anything they are actually doing.

I respect people who have it together and actually do something when their kids mess up. Its the only way you can truly learn. You mess up get punished and hopefully have the sense not to do it again.
_________________________

“It's too bad that stupidity isn't painful.”
~Anton LaVey

Bless me dark father I have sinned
I've done it before and I'll do it again
Cuz it keeps me warm, and makes you smile
Been beneath me all the while
Whispering sweet nothings
~Alkaline Trio



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#297344 - 01/10/08 09:32 PM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: Saraflare]
sgt_sodomy Offline
Banned Woman Abuser

Registered: 01/10/08
Posts: 42
at that age...does anything your parents do really mean any thing? I am just going on personal experiences here, but I literally barely gave a fuck about anything at that age.

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#297349 - 01/10/08 09:37 PM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: sgt_sodomy]
Saraflare Offline


Registered: 12/24/07
Posts: 74
I see your point here. I went through a rebellious stage and could care less about what my parents did. Although my situation was a little different. I still respect my mother for caring enough to actually do something about it.

I do agree that this is a situation were a good thing went off the deep end. I applaud the mother for punishing her son, but not to the point were she is using her sons mistake to get recognition. You should be a good parent regardless of the recognition you get.
_________________________

“It's too bad that stupidity isn't painful.”
~Anton LaVey

Bless me dark father I have sinned
I've done it before and I'll do it again
Cuz it keeps me warm, and makes you smile
Been beneath me all the while
Whispering sweet nothings
~Alkaline Trio



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#297351 - 01/10/08 09:40 PM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: Saraflare]
sgt_sodomy Offline
Banned Woman Abuser

Registered: 01/10/08
Posts: 42
I just think it isnt the way id handle it.

Id drink the kids beer, and blister his derriere...in private.

My therory has always been: do WHATEVER the fuck you want, but be prepared to get away with it, because as we all know, every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

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#297403 - 01/10/08 11:42 PM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: Poetaster]
RottenBonnie Offline


Registered: 04/28/07
Posts: 546
Loc: The West Coast, USA
 Originally Posted By: Poetaster
I think we've went through this before, you just don't know enough about the story to so quickly and gleefully give this mother the mother-of-the-year award.


We did go through this before, but I am relentless in my quest to turn you to my way of thinking, Poetaster. Maybe I should get a hobby. \:\)
_________________________
"The smartest, most passionate, most beautiful women I've met have been Satanists. I don't mean "beautiful on the inside where it really counts;" I mean gorgeous, vibrant, curvy women." Blanche Barton

"There's no such thing as too many books." Poetaster

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#297429 - 01/11/08 01:21 AM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: RottenBonnie]
HiddenHorror Offline


Registered: 12/22/07
Posts: 54
Loc: USA
The only thing that this is going to teach the child is hatred for his mother and how to not get caught next time. That's all I learned when something like that happened to me.
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#297471 - 01/11/08 08:48 AM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: RottenBonnie]
Evil_Eve Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 4234
Loc: 1313 Mockingbird Lane
Meanest Mom on the planet?

Heh.

I disagree.

We all know the evil that exist on this planet. We all know of the abusers of children. We all know of those who victimize and kill their young.

I cannot understand this behavior.

I think this kid got off easy, however, this is only based on the evidence given to Me.

The child may have a completely different story of that of his Mother.

I could tell you stories of My own Mother that you would simply not believe because.......you simply would not believe that things like (My own experiences) could happen.

 Quote:
As a parent, part of your responsibility is to teach responsibility.


We are assuming, that the parent was in fact, responsible. I would like to see both sides of the story before making a final judgment.
_________________________
Satan LIVES!
If you could....would YOU?



"Our religion does not require martyrs."
Magistra Nadramia.

FEARED!
Revered.
YOU can be a voice for the voiceless.


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#297472 - 01/11/08 08:52 AM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: Evil_Eve]
Never Offline


Registered: 01/08/08
Posts: 187
Loc: Skien, Norway
 Quote:
As a parent, part of your responsibility is to teach responsibility.



Responisbility we should learn on our own.
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Where I lay my head is home

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#297473 - 01/11/08 08:54 AM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: Never]
Evil_Eve Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 4234
Loc: 1313 Mockingbird Lane
We do in fact, learn responsibility on our own (many times this lesson is hard).

Parents can in fact, teach responsibility by example to their young ones).

I learned lessons that I never had to go through due to My fathers example.

Leading by example is key here.

Some take heed and learn from their parents, some, sadly do not and have to learn by their own mistakes.

I have avoided many hurts by listening to My father.

Again, leading by EXAMPLE is key.
_________________________
Satan LIVES!
If you could....would YOU?



"Our religion does not require martyrs."
Magistra Nadramia.

FEARED!
Revered.
YOU can be a voice for the voiceless.


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#297620 - 01/11/08 02:47 PM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: Bruja]
RottenBonnie Offline


Registered: 04/28/07
Posts: 546
Loc: The West Coast, USA
 Originally Posted By: Bruja
My teenager is a lot like I was at his age, and I'd wager that taking that route would inspire further rebellion, bitterness and resentment... not particuarly the desired results.


I do agree that kids need to be parented as an individual. What works for one kid, won't necessarily work for another--even with siblings. Each situation is dependent upon the circumstances that preceded it and what followed. I never thought this was a blanket solution to parenting teenagers--but rather an interesting anecdote.

It is interesting that the people here have such split reactions to it, though. It seems about half the people think it is good and half the people don't think it is a good idea. Again, I think it is based on what lens are you viewing life through.

 Originally Posted By: Bruja
We all messed up as teens, but this particular guy has his mother to thank for the whole world knowing about this particular screw up (even though she states that she believes that it was not even his alcohol). Was it deserved? Maybe, I can't say as I don't have all of the facts. But it's just not my personal parenting style.


I agree. When I put my own son's face in the scenario, I can't see myself treating him that way. But again, some kids you can parent with a carrot and some you have to parent with a stick. Like you said, it depends on the style of the parent and also the personality of the child.
_________________________
"The smartest, most passionate, most beautiful women I've met have been Satanists. I don't mean "beautiful on the inside where it really counts;" I mean gorgeous, vibrant, curvy women." Blanche Barton

"There's no such thing as too many books." Poetaster

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#297621 - 01/11/08 02:48 PM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: Poetaster]
ledbymusic Offline


Registered: 01/07/08
Posts: 63
Loc: SoCal
I want to admit my fault here of being to quick to judge. Poetaster made an amzing point. I got too wrapped up in the story to realize that there was more to it. I thank you for showing me my folly and helping me learn from it.
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"After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music. Aldous Huxley (1894-1963)"

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#297628 - 01/11/08 03:02 PM Re: The Meanest Mom on the Planet [Re: Poetaster]
RottenBonnie Offline


Registered: 04/28/07
Posts: 546
Loc: The West Coast, USA
 Originally Posted By: Poetaster
The point is that in this case, there could certainly be another side to the story.


Well, of course. But since all we have is this media snippet then that is what we use to judge the situation. We're not the jury, and our judgement has no consequences (other than potentially looking like an ass \:\)), so it is okay for us to use it for what it is (entertainment) and discuss it here.

I do appreciate your ability to read between the lines on behavior, though. The fact that the mother kept the ad running even though the car had sold hadn't really registered for me. I also hadn't thought "Would I do this to my teenage son?" And My answer was no.


Edited by RottenBonnie (01/11/08 03:03 PM)
Edit Reason: to add a "t"
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"The smartest, most passionate, most beautiful women I've met have been Satanists. I don't mean "beautiful on the inside where it really counts;" I mean gorgeous, vibrant, curvy women." Blanche Barton

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