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#31737 - 03/16/04 10:58 AM Death
Vestaion Offline


Registered: 03/15/04
Posts: 2
Loc: In ore abyssi
Today I said farewell to a loved colleague of mine. He died of cancer, and though we all knew he was going to die, his death came pretty sudden. He was a man who died at age 56, and that's too young in my book. I'm thankfull that I knew him.
He was a man that, even that he was of age, wanted to take full advantages of life. At his age he still wanted to learn about things he didn't understand, and he was open to new and different opinions. He knew what he knew and he had his own life's wisdom, but he understood the fact that things change and he wanted to know about these changes so he could understand life, and how it's lived today, to the fullest.
I've had really stimulating conversations with him about his youth, and life in general, and I'm proud to say that I've learned a few interesting things about life. Though I've known him for only two years, I'm really glad that I met him and talked to him, and I know that when I reach the age he did, I want to be as understanding and learnfull as he was.
The whole death thing makes me think about life. It makes me want to live my life to the fullest, more than I normally do, and that's probably the most positive thing the death of a loved one can do to you. Especially on moments like these I'm reminded about how I want to make something of my life and that the thing I do in my life is worth remembering. Everybody wants to be rememberd. For the things they did and the things they said. Because we all know that that's the key for life after death. The only life after death is the rememberance people have of you, so it's important to make somekind of statement, and do the things you want to do while you're alive.
I'm going to miss him.......
_________________________
De omnibus dubitandum.....

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#31738 - 03/16/04 11:26 AM Re: Death [Re: Vestaion]
Anonymous
Unregistered


Sorry for your loss. Death from disease is a hard thing to deal with. I try to think of it as they no longer suffer. I hope you find peace within this tragedy. HS

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#31739 - 03/16/04 12:58 PM Re: Death [Re: Vestaion]
DCAdam22 Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 08/11/03
Posts: 238
Loc: Washington, DC
My sympathy on the loss of your friend. May his memory live on through you and those he loved!
Hail Satan!
_________________________
"It's too bad stupidity isn't painful." -Anton Szandor LaVey

"We are all animals, my lady!" -Darkness, "Legend"

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#31740 - 03/16/04 01:09 PM Re: Death [Re: Vestaion]
Discipline Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 08/25/03
Posts: 6796
Loc: Forever West
I am very sorry for the passing of your friend.

I have lost friends myself. Just as you have said, the best way for him to be immortal is for you to remember him.

The whole death thing makes me think about life. It makes me want to live my life to the fullest, more than I normally do, and that's probably the most positive thing the death of a loved one can do to you.

That is very true. When I lost a couple of friends last year it made me realize just how important and great life really is.
_________________________
"I've learned . . . that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes." ~Andy Rooney

"At last I shall have time to devote myself seriously and freely to the destruction of all my former opinions." ~Descartes

“The first principle is that you must not fool yourself—and you are the easiest person to fool.” ~Richard Feynman

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#31741 - 03/16/04 01:26 PM Re: Death [Re: Vestaion]
Sparky_Eyes Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 10/07/02
Posts: 867
Loc: Tampa Bay
We lost a dear friend in January to Cancer. It was near my birthday, and totally mind fucked me. I had lost loved ones to this dreaded thing brefore, but my they were all in their late 60's and 70's, so that helped to cushion some of it. He was only 44.

He had just moved to Florida from Indiana after being layed off from a job he held for 21 years and wanted to get a fresh start with his wife. No kids to raise, no distracting friends around who helped him stay an alcoholic all his life. Six months after he arrives, he's diagnosed with Cancer in his pancreas and liver, no hope to survive.

For some time, I can't tell you how pissed off I was.That here was a guy who everybody loved, and he was going to miss out on the best years of his life. I couldnt even tell myself, "well, that's how it crumbles when you dont control your vices." I mean, you see fucking assholes everyday, walking around being jerks, taking life for granted and justice never seems to get served to 'em. Why couldn't I just teleport the tumors out of my friend and into them? Why?!

It just sucks. Period.

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#31742 - 03/16/04 01:37 PM Re: Death [Re: Sparky_Eyes]
TrojZyr Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 07/25/01
Posts: 12990
Loc: The Solid State
Exactly my sentiments, Sparky. There are so many healthy people who live secure, enriched lives, and who waste their time, resources, and themselves in shocking and not-so-shocking ways.

For instance, I have certainly noted how numerous Christians here at my college are more attractive and are healthier than I, yet get down on their knees and pray to "Daddy God" (I kid you not on that one) to "kill their flesh" (not kidding about that either) and take away their control from them. Then, because they've given their lives and control over to Gawd, they naturally run into trouble in their relationships and at school, and essentially create more reasons for them to complain and curse their flesh. It's disgusting.

Meanwhile, true lovers of life and those who enrich the lives of those around them are gunned down or die from cancer.

If only we could transfer the bullets and tumors over to the people who just fancy themselves passing through, indeed.
_________________________
"Gentlemen, the verdict is guilty, on all ten counts of first-degree stupidity. The penalty phase will now begin."--Divine, "Pink Flamingos."

"The strong rule the weak, and the cunning rule over all." HS!

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#31743 - 03/16/04 04:49 PM Re: Death [Re: Vestaion]
CannibalSpirit Offline


Registered: 07/09/02
Posts: 363
Loc: Lima, Perú
I feel sorry for your loss.
My grandfather and two uncles (not related, any of them) have died of cancer in my family.
I treasure every moment i spent with the three of them, being my family close enough to call any relative until third degree as a close one.
The wisdom and experience they have passed to us, the ones who still live, is priceless, and our memory will keep them alive until we are gone too.
_________________________
Cannibal Spirit "I am my enemy"

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#31744 - 03/16/04 05:03 PM Re: Death [Re: TrojZyr]
reprobate Offline

CoS Warlock

Registered: 06/05/02
Posts: 7140
Loc: Canada
"Daddy God" -- Oh sweet hell, that's so infantilized.

Does remind me of William Blake's name for God the Father, though: "Old Nobodaddy".
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reprobate

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#31745 - 03/16/04 07:06 PM Re: Death [Re: Vestaion]
J. Hagalaz Offline


Registered: 12/30/03
Posts: 1212
Loc: USA
My condolences. It is rough to lose somebody like that. I lost my Grandfather to cancer and my Mother in law just passed away two years ago from it. My daughter died three years ago from a very rare and malignant brain tumor. Death definately hits you with a reallity brick.

You have a good attitude. Yes, death should make us appreciate what we have. I came to terms with death a long time ago. It makes me sad that most people will never come to terms with it. They either live their lives hiding from it (consumerism) or preparing for it (religion). What a waste.
_________________________
They are doomed because they cannot even glimpse beyond the construct that their masters have put into place. Their masters are doomed because they believe in the construct they created.

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#31746 - 03/16/04 11:42 PM Re: Death [Re: reprobate]
TrojZyr Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 07/25/01
Posts: 12990
Loc: The Solid State
Yeah, and they always say it in a very tiny voice, like a child. Methinks some people need some family therapy. Indeed, some people have reported that Jeebus has been the father they never had or always wanted.

Other people use "king" and "lord king" a lot in prayers, and seem to be deeply enamored of the whole monarchist element. They will often use such expressions numerous times within even a single sentence, and in such a manner that you'd think the deity was going to slap them if they prayed improperly.
_________________________
"Gentlemen, the verdict is guilty, on all ten counts of first-degree stupidity. The penalty phase will now begin."--Divine, "Pink Flamingos."

"The strong rule the weak, and the cunning rule over all." HS!

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#31747 - 03/17/04 03:45 AM Re: Death [Re: Vestaion]
Josephine007 Offline
CoS Priestess

Registered: 01/31/04
Posts: 620
Loc: Zero Point Field
My sympathies to you. My husband just told me about fifteen minutes ago that his father's tests came back and his prognosis is not good. Lung cancer and his heart is probably strong enough to take the necessary surgery. It is, indeed, painful to loose those we can appreciate or have learned from.
_________________________
Josephine Seven
Cherchez La Femme
"Test Everything. Believe nothing."

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#31748 - 03/18/04 05:29 PM Re: Death [Re: Vestaion]
Dracul Offline


Registered: 03/07/04
Posts: 60
Loc: Romania
If that man really wants to live ...then I think that he's still alive ...somewere ...he must be.
_________________________
"Liberate Tuteme Ex Inferis!"

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#31749 - 03/18/04 05:34 PM Re: Death [Re: TrojZyr]
Dracul Offline


Registered: 03/07/04
Posts: 60
Loc: Romania
I just can't understand that. Why do you think they do that?
What makes them give everything to nobody?

It makes me kind of sad to see them do that ...as I also see them in my college. I've studied them for long and still I don't see the point other than maddness.
Poor devils...
_________________________
"Liberate Tuteme Ex Inferis!"

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#31750 - 03/18/04 08:04 PM Re: Death [Re: Dracul]
TrojZyr Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 07/25/01
Posts: 12990
Loc: The Solid State
I think, quite simply, their real lives are lacking and are often filled with a mix of ennui and suffering, and they lack the know-how and the strength to resolve that maturely. So, they construct their own imaginary realm to help fill in the holes, and remain, as such, eternally "intellectually decompressed."
_________________________
"Gentlemen, the verdict is guilty, on all ten counts of first-degree stupidity. The penalty phase will now begin."--Divine, "Pink Flamingos."

"The strong rule the weak, and the cunning rule over all." HS!

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#31751 - 03/20/04 08:17 PM Re: Death [Re: Discipline]
Anonymous
Unregistered


I think it'd worse when people are so young. You could say that 40s or 50s are young but early 20s is worse.
For example my best friends brother died of cancer last year. He first got cancer when he was 13 and he was cancer free for 2 half years. Got it again, then had treatment and then when they'd got rid of that cancer they found he had it somewhere else. So they said he had a few months to live and there was nothing they could do for him.
So imagine my best friend has had to deal with this since she was a little girl. You get all the obvious symptons like he never ate so he become really really skinny and he was very pale. When he had it the first time around he went into a wheelchair but managed to walk again. At the end he slept all the time even when he was downstairs he'd just fall asleep.
What annoyed me even more was when one of her relatives said she wasn't going to visit him because she couldn't take it. I mean you know kinda selfish when all she had to do was visit a few times and try and act normal. He was 21. I know friends who have lost their dads. To be honest such close deaths seem to fuck up people.Even when they make the best of their lives they are still unhappy and always always think about it. It's a never forget kind of event. You don't remember because you want to because it just hurts to remember. I only know this though through been talking and seeing my friends and how they act.
I think everyone thinks about death at some point.When i first thought about it i just found it very strange. Then i got scared about losing everyone i cared about to death and now i just accept it.

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