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#32379 - 03/18/04 06:06 PM Satanic Toys
Mason_Rust Offline

CoS Member

Registered: 08/25/02
Posts: 1780
Loc: Michigan, USA
In the 80's, I was a small young tyke who fell in love with Monster In My Pocket figures. They are tiny, artistically crafted, aesthetically pleasing, and even durable (but keep away from flames!) depictions of "monsters" from different myths and cultures. I don't think my Catholic parents had any idea that they had purchased me Kali, Behemoth, and even The Great Beast himself for a Christmas gift. I was in Hell...whatever. I was geeked!

(Later series of MIMP included a few more off of the list of Infernal Names, including Leviathan, and Astaroth. And there was, of course, a witch and a warlock.)

In packs of MIMP was a fold out checklist which gave a quick description of the monster, myth, deity, or whatnot. The names, depictions, and information took a simple toy that was already fun for any child with an imagination and turned it into a launchpad for interest in world cultures, history, classic cinema, classic literature, cryptozoology, and why, even Satanism.

What an excellent toy for a sprouting Satanist.

As Satanists, did anyone have a childhood toy that they felt was specifically Satanic? Were there any monsters in your pockets? Did you cuddle up next to a soft, plush Cthulhu? Anything of the sort?

There are many parents on this board, and I can't help but wonder what type of toys they offer their children for amusement. Are there any you feel are specifically Satanic that you want your child to have?

In your opinion, what does it take to make a toy Satanic?

209327-beast.jpg (38 downloads)

"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence."
-Carl Sagan

#32380 - 03/18/04 09:14 PM Re: Satanic Toys [Re: Mason_Rust]
Hagen von Tronje Offline

CoS Priest

Registered: 06/28/01
Posts: 10146
I too collected Monster in My Pocket as a kid. Who wouldn't want a collection of minature demons to fool around with?

On that topic, I think there was actually another Satanically interesting figure in the second run, that resembled Dagon! I think it was actually called a "Fish Bishop", probably due to copyright reasons.

I actually gained a great deal of my early interest in mythology from MIMP. Curiousity about the monsters it contained spurred me to read books of Hellenistic mythology, which of course led to other things in turn.

Another great toy I recall was a plastic skull on a base, that came with a good deal of slime, playdough, and other substances, as well as molds to allow you to mimic organs, affix them to the skull, and subsequently cut them out of the skull using a plastic knife! Can you say vicarious revenge?
"The devil I'll bring you," answered Hagen. "I have enough to carry with my shield and breastplate; my helm is bright, the sword is in my hand, therefore I bring you naught."

#32381 - 03/19/04 01:14 AM Re: Satanic Toys [Re: Mason_Rust]
MagisterParadise Offline

CoS Magister

Registered: 07/03/01
Posts: 3289
Loc: Burlington, VT
19 March XXXIX A.S.

As Satanists, did anyone have a childhood toy that they felt was specifically Satanic?

I had many. Here is a list (and keep in mind that, in terms of pre-adolescence, I'm a decade back from you; namely, the 70s)...

SLIME: Came in two varieties: the more common green (the one I had), and the harder to find purple with dark purple rubber worms (the one I did not have, but wanted... a lot!). Sure, it looked like an industrial accident in a plastic miniature garbage can, but it has the gross out element to it, and that's just prime ground for kids. Until you dropped it on the carpet, of course. Then, it was all over.

[Anything] BATMAN: What DIDN'T I have that had a direct connection to the Dark Knight? And as a youngster, I REALLY wanted to be Batman -- to the point where my room, with the help of way too many blankets, became a labyrinthian replica of the Batcave. At least, in formative years. At five, my favorite was the commercially-available mini-model Batcave, replete with Batmobile SCALED to the 8" --that's right, 8 INCH -- action figures. This, of course, is when action figures could not be concealed in a closed fist.

WACKY PACKAGES: There was a fairly bankrupt attempt to cash in on the success of these demented bubble gum/sticker packs in the 80s with the Garbage Pail Kids, but these were the originals. And in contrast to its forebear, Wacky Packages lampooned everyday products, showing that nothing was sacred. It's amazing that anti-copyright and defamation suits weren't levied against the makers of these things. The questioning of all and not forgetting past orthodoxies -- all wrapped up with an enclosed strip of bubble gum, to boot.

MAD MAGAZINE: Can a magazine be a toy? Anyhoo, it's going on the list. Another outlet for kids who noticed far more about their culture than their braindead peers, and knew that it was all hilarious black comedy. In my opinion, Mad Magazine represented (represents?) that. Also, I really tried getting into its weak competitor, Cracked, but it just wasn't the same. Hail Alfred!

ANY TOY WITH EVEN THE SLIGHTEST ELEMENT OF DANGER TO IT: So much of child recreational fare of modern day is just too darn tame for its own good. Before the yoke of PC thinking, we had guns that shot projectiles at ludicrous speeds [MGP thinks fondly of his old Cylon Raider spaceship from Battlestar Galatica], rockets powered by riot-force water pressure, LAWN DARTS, sling-shots, bottle rockets, and other dangerous fun that weeded out the stupid kids from the smart ones. George Carlin called it "passive eugenics." I called it funny.

I also had an entire batallion of Star Wars [read: pre-Jar Jar] action figures -- consisting of Darth Vader, about 20 Stormtroopers, a mess of Death Star droids... oh, you get the idea. I wanted to construct my own technological terror... a fully-operational battlestation, if you will. And that black, masked outfit, too.
Ever Forward!
Magister Matt G. Paradise - Church of Satan

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#32382 - 03/19/04 02:16 AM Re: Satanic Toys [Re: Mason_Rust]
Caesar Offline

CoS Warlock

Registered: 06/01/03
Posts: 2381
One forgotten "toy" are the Garbage Pail Kids. I used to love collecting those. I have yet to see anything of its kind wanted so much (even Baseball Cards and CCG's only has their specific collectors/players).

209379-garbage.jpg (26 downloads)

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#32383 - 03/19/04 04:01 AM Re: Satanic Toys [Re: Hagen von Tronje]
reprobate Offline

CoS Warlock

Registered: 06/05/02
Posts: 7141
Loc: Canada
There would have been no copyright on Dagon, who was a god of the Canaanites and the Phillistines. There may have been legal headaches of another sort altogether, though.

#32384 - 03/19/04 06:21 AM Re: Satanic Toys [Re: Mason_Rust]
Dan_Dread Offline

Registered: 10/08/03
Posts: 523
Loc: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Wow, I had monster in my pocket toys too.
Any other 80s kids remember MADBALLS?
Kushy softball size gruesome heads in a macabre fashion I loved as a kid. Its what popped into my mind reading this thread.
Ahh, the nostalgia.

209399-madballs.jpg (24 downloads)

"One thing I have learned in a long life: that all our science, measured against reality, is primitive and childlike and yet it is the most precious thing we have." - Albert Einstein --------------------

#32385 - 03/19/04 07:01 AM Re: Satanic Toys [Re: MagisterParadise]
Ram_Abbalah Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 08/27/03
Posts: 284
Loc: Reno, NV

WACKY PACKAGES: There was a fairly bankrupt attempt to cash in on the success of these demented bubble gum/sticker packs in the 80s

Reverend - you may be interested in the return of Wacky Packages.
"...I have built a mechanical sanctuary. In it copper bats fly on electric beams, brass rats scuttle in plastic cellars, robot skeletons dance; robot vampires, harlequins, wolves, and white phantoms, compounded of chemical and ingenuity, live here."

"Usher II"
The Martian Chronicles
by Ray Bradbury

#32386 - 03/19/04 07:06 AM Re: Satanic Toys [Re: MagisterParadise]
Satanya Offline

Registered: 02/05/04
Posts: 2241

SLIME: Came in two varieties: the more common green (the one I had), and the harder to find purple with dark purple rubber worms (the one I did not have, but wanted... a lot!). Sure, it looked like an industrial accident in a plastic miniature garbage can, but it has the gross out element to it, and that's just prime ground for kids. Until you dropped it on the carpet, of course. Then, it was all over.

Had you not mentioned that, I would have never remembered it again, I used to have so much fun with that thing, and I bet I still could (do they still make them?)!

#32387 - 03/19/04 07:14 AM Re: Satanic Toys [Re: Caesar]
Ambrosia Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 10/07/02
Posts: 1136
Loc: Canada
I remember these guys.

I never saved my cards and gave them to my brothers.
At that time, I was collecting Strawberry Shortcake instead.
-My mind to me a kingdom is; Such present joys therein I find, That it excels all other bliss that the earth affords or grows by kind.- E.D.

#32388 - 03/19/04 07:42 AM Re: Satanic Toys [Re: Dan_Dread]
Shylock Offline

Registered: 02/08/02
Posts: 307
Loc: Tiki Land
Sorry to interrupt with something slightly off-topic, but my dad has a Halloween mask that looks a damn lot like the "Madballs" toy in your picture.
Pride may be worth less than safety but it's certainly worth more than convenience.

--The Royal Me

#32389 - 03/19/04 09:10 AM Re: Satanic Toys [Re: Mason_Rust]
Drake_Bamboozle Offline
CoS Reverend

Registered: 06/25/02
Posts: 10764
Loc: England
At the age of 8 I was building my own radios and such. I once built an "alarm" with a movement sensor aimed towards the door which set off a siren if anyone came in my room when I was asleep.

I also used to love to mess about with those chemistry kits you used to be able to get. In the 70's there was some dangerous stuff in there too - not like the ones you get today. And they were not even supplied with protective goggles and gloves like the sissy kits you get now.

Coupled with my electronic endeavours I was able to build some pretty nasty booby traps.

I was a real mean motherfucker. Until my mother put a stop to it. She said it was not normal for a child.

My father then gave me some boxing gloves and a heavy bag, which I loved.
Human beings are as significant as a cigarette burn in the sun.

#32390 - 03/19/04 09:16 AM And they have returned..... [Re: Caesar]

Garbage Pail kids have made a comeback. You can pick up packs of them pretty much anywhere now. The 80s have returned.

#32391 - 03/19/04 09:32 AM Re: Satanic Toys [Re: Mason_Rust]
Manceres Offline

Registered: 06/28/01
Posts: 2498
Loc: USA
One of my most remembered toys were the Battle Beasts. I think a few are lurking in my old room somewhere.
They were and are a rather unique toy. I played many a battle with them. I think they would out fight my Joes on ocassion or fight along side Cobra now and then.
Yep memories Beds were mountains, Rug patterns mazes and roads, Books forts and all the world my stage.

#32392 - 03/19/04 10:35 AM Science and ballistics [Re: Mason_Rust]
Flavius Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 06/29/01
Posts: 2777
Loc: BridgePort
I used to get these nifty science kits that came in metal boxes. Of course the chemistry set was my favorite, much as UVRay described. I also had a really cool mineral kit, with streak plate, nitric and hydrochloric acids, and various hardness samlpes for Moh's scale comparison (up to 9 only, of course)! And the weather station, with anemometer, rain guage, sling psychrometer (for relative humidity), weather maps, and so forth. I believe I also got a microscope.

But my favorite was a young lad's best friend, the air rifle. Not a "Red Ryder", but the legendary Daisy 880, powerline series:

The kids that had the Crossman 760s were mocked mercilessly: Their lever was awkward, would pinch ya, and was hard to use. Plus, it was about 100 fps wimpier than the Daisy.

That air rifle could shoot a straight pin through a nickel at short range. You could fill the barrel with BBs and toss them straight up for fifty feet or so. It was neat to watch them come down. And of course, the wars. We always tried to enforce a "one pump maximum" rule, but when somebody's just shot you in the ass and is running away at top speed, what are ya gonna do? A three-pump shot would leave a nice welt without burying the BB in your opponent's flesh. Good times.

"OhmyGhod! What happened to your legs?"

"Awww, we got into some really bad horseflies again, Mom."
Resident Psychic.

#32393 - 03/19/04 10:56 AM Re: Satanic Toys [Re: Mason_Rust]
Felstorm Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 10/27/03
Posts: 1474
Loc: Minnesota.
I'd have to say that He-Man was the most Satanic toy I ever had. I wasn't allowed to watch GI Joe because it was too violent. Somehow He-Man hacking the shit out of Skeletor's minions with a sword was somehow less violent than Sgt. Slaughter giving Cobra a face full of lead.

Damn hippie parents.

And who can forget the Dungeons and Dragons show and toys from the mid-eighties? Now those toys had the Devil's name written all over them. Remember how anything connected with Dungeons and Dragons was defacto "Satanic"? Those were good times.

Ah yes, the Eeighties where Satanophobes and Worry Warts turned out in droves to rise to the threat of all the Satanic cartoons and toys to ensure that future generations woldn't be corrupted by Satan and his violence.

Not like it helped much or prevented Columbine.

Just remember, take your kids to see The Passion. It's one of the bloodiest and most violent movies over, but your kids should watch it because it has an "important message". I agree. Make sure to reinforce in your kids that being an incompetant victim will get you brutalised and then killed. I can't wait for "The Passion" line of action figures with "Scourging Jesus" action playset. Complete with fake blood and a Centurion bearing a razor tipped whip.

Ah, good times to be had by all...
"Many people would sooner die than think - in fact, they do so." ~ Bertrand Russell

"“Let the future tell the truth, and evaluate each one according to his work and accomplishments. The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine.” ~ Nikola Tesla

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