Page 2 of 14 < 1 2 3 4 ... 13 14 >
Topic Options
#326881 - 05/09/08 11:14 PM Re: Love [Re: LightAngel]
G.F.V. Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 12/31/04
Posts: 1950
Loc: NYC
Love has brought me through the highest and lowest points of my life. It has picked me up and knocked me down more times than I could have imagined.

When I fall in love with another (and not in just a "friendly", or "mutual" way), it hits me like a ton of bricks. Sometimes for the better, other times for the worse.

And I think that no matter what anyone says, to lose one you love (through separating, or in death) is one of the most difficult things to cope with.

Top
#326905 - 05/10/08 03:50 AM Re: Love [Re: LightAngel]
Muse Offline

CoS Member

Registered: 01/19/08
Posts: 586
Loc: In Your Dreams
_________________________
http://www.myspace.com/twilighttales
Hear Adult Fairy Tales, Short Stories, Poetry, and more! coopdevil
Twilight Tales with Muse only on Radio Free Satan!!
(Currently on hiatus while I attend to grad school, but I have every intention of bringing the show back when the time is right!)


The holy trinity: Me, Myself, and I.

"Does anyone ever realize life while they are living it? Every, every minute?"
- Emily, Our Town, by Thornton Wilder


"Life's like a ballgame. You gotta take a swing at whatever comes along before you wake up and find it's the ninth inning." ~Vera (Ann Savage) in Detour





Top
#326910 - 05/10/08 04:58 AM Re: Love [Re: The_Lightning]
Hagen von Tronje Offline

CoS Priest

Registered: 06/28/01
Posts: 10122
After thinking about the reasons why it is such a moving love story, it is clear to me. It is because they see each other as equal. It may be that Conan is the physically stronger of the two, as befits his masculinity, but in Belit he finds a woman whose spirit is as strong as his own.

Plainly, Howard's vision is a romanticized one, but that's what stories are for.

Let me live deep while I live; let me know the rich juices of red meat and stinging wine on my palate, the hot embrace of white arms, the mad exultation of battle when the blue blades flame and crimson, and I am content. Let teachers and priests and philosophers brood over questions of reality and illusion. I know this: if life is illusion, then I am no less an illusion, and being thus, the illusion is real to me. I live, I burn with life, I love, I slay, and am content.

my love is stronger than any death! I have lain in your arms, panting with the violence of our love; you have held and crushed and conquered me, drawing my soul to your lips with the fierceness of your bruising kisses. My heart is welded to your heart, my soul is part of your soul! Were I still in death and you fighting for life, I would come back from the abyss to aid you--aye, whether my spirit floated with the purple sails on the crystal sea of paradise, or writhed in the molten flames of hell! I am yours, and all the gods and all their eternities shall not sever us!
_________________________
"The devil I'll bring you," answered Hagen. "I have enough to carry with my shield and breastplate; my helm is bright, the sword is in my hand, therefore I bring you naught."

Top
#326918 - 05/10/08 07:05 AM Re: Love [Re: G.F.V.]
MissMina1556 Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 03/05/08
Posts: 1386
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: RobMan

And I think that no matter what anyone says, to lose one you love (through separating, or in death) is one of the most difficult things to cope with.


I must agree. I have loved, and I have lost. The love I had for my parents was an all consuming love. They are gone now. I grieve. But, like Roho wrote, it's in their living, that I go on, and it's life that keeps me going. But, the heartache of losing someone you love, either by separation, or by death, is awful.

I love my children with every fiber of my being. They are grown and on their own. I don't even know how to put into words the love I feel for them.

This is a wonderful topic. I am enjoying reading everyone's responses.

JM
_________________________
YOU ARE DEEP, DARK AND LOVELY.


Top
#327088 - 05/11/08 03:14 AM Re: Love [Re: Bill_M]
LightAngel Offline


Registered: 09/10/05
Posts: 1677
Loc: Denmark
Originally Posted By: Bill_M
It's ultimately a chemical reaction, but there are also some psychological plays involved. I don't think that throwing out the metaphysical or it's-more-than-that notions makes it any less significant, though. But like all emotions it's not something that stays in the mind forever. I've seen plenty of relationships that start off full of obsessive "love", but then come crashing down just a few months later. I think some of this has to do with finding somebody that you think is "perfect", which only amplifies all the imperfections.

Unfortunately the term "love" gets misused all too often to mean things like "philanthropy", "psychic vampirism", and most especially "mutual infatuation".


I think that lots of relationships start with obsessive love that doesn't last because people get together for all the wrong reasons in the first place. Then, after awhile, when their ego has been fed sufficiently, they feel an emptiness inside them and start thinking ''what the hell am I doing with this person?''.


Some of these wrong reasons are that people seek in others that which they lack themselves, mostly love for themselves – and in this way – it will be a relationship based on psychic vampirism, because they feed on one another. Of course, there will be some ''give and take'' in every relationship, but it has to be in a balanced way.


When it comes to seeking perfection, it is an illusion. Of course, there are degrees of imperfection, it all depends on virtues or vices of the other person that you are willing to tolerate. One thing that I could imagine to be perfection – is someone who will always do exactly that what you want them to do – but then this is not love – it is domination.

The term love has been made cheap nowadays, mostly because it is highly overemphasized in everything. Being loving towards everything and everyone is highly popular today, which is a huge hypocrisy which in turn makes weak people believe that that is what love really is.

Top
#327090 - 05/11/08 03:32 AM Re: Love [Re: Hagen von Tronje]
LightAngel Offline


Registered: 09/10/05
Posts: 1677
Loc: Denmark
Originally Posted By: LeviathanXIII
What's tough about not being able to love? Love is the motivation that drives men to their greatest acts of strength and heroism.

You are correct though, it also carries the risk of bringing a man to his most vulnerable. If a man is robbed of his love (not only romantic, but familial) it can be far more trying than a physical blow. Perhaps it is knowledge that this can happen that causes many to shy from it. One can only speculate that in some cases it is abuse of their love that has caused so many to shun it now.


Fear of pain from love gone bad is psychologically linked to the mother of all fears - fear of death. And fear, in my opinion, is everyone's greatest enemy - it is paralyzing. It is a nightmare if this fear is seeded in one's heart as it will then consume this person and deprive one of all pleasures that life has to offer.

Top
#327091 - 05/11/08 04:09 AM Re: Love [Re: MissMina1556]
LightAngel Offline


Registered: 09/10/05
Posts: 1677
Loc: Denmark
Originally Posted By: Janet Marie


This is a wonderful topic. I am enjoying reading everyone's responses.

JM


Me too wink

Top
#327095 - 05/11/08 05:19 AM Re: Love [Re: LightAngel]
Hagen von Tronje Offline

CoS Priest

Registered: 06/28/01
Posts: 10122
If we use your implied definition of fear as "a feeling of dread that forces you into inaction when you would rather take action" then fear of death is the most ridiculous fear imaginable. It's the one thing you can be quite assured of experiencing, like it or not, and once it's done you won't give a damn that it happened.

Likewise, failing to seek something desired because you fear losing it is absurd. Let the weak willed sit on the sidelines and wish they could find love. The bold will find it for themselves.
_________________________
"The devil I'll bring you," answered Hagen. "I have enough to carry with my shield and breastplate; my helm is bright, the sword is in my hand, therefore I bring you naught."

Top
#327102 - 05/11/08 07:31 AM Re: Love [Re: Hagen von Tronje]
LightAngel Offline


Registered: 09/10/05
Posts: 1677
Loc: Denmark
Originally Posted By: LeviathanXIII
The bold will find it for themselves.



I think that the only thing you can do is to be ''open to love'', but it's not like you can go out and seek for it, it is not something that you can pick off a shelf when grocery shopping.

In my personal experience, love has always come naturally to me. I think that the mistake most people make is to objectify love - as if it's something that you can look for in the same way as you look for a job.

I really believe that love is something that cannot be planned, it has to come in a natural way. You cannot plan your love life as you can plan your career.

Top
#327106 - 05/11/08 08:34 AM Re: Love [Re: LightAngel]
Hagen von Tronje Offline

CoS Priest

Registered: 06/28/01
Posts: 10122
You don't necessarily have to look for something to find it.
_________________________
"The devil I'll bring you," answered Hagen. "I have enough to carry with my shield and breastplate; my helm is bright, the sword is in my hand, therefore I bring you naught."

Top
#327112 - 05/11/08 09:33 AM Re: Love [Re: LightAngel]
Shade Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 07/08/06
Posts: 6135
Loc: A Trailer Park
Originally Posted By: LightAngel

What does it feel like when your heart is open for someone else?


Probably like your ribcage has just been cracked. grin

(Sorry, couldn't help myself)

On a more serious note, I think that the fear of an intense emotional bond may be tied to the coveted/lauded attribute of apathy. I really've not met that many folks who are genuinely apathetic. It seems more often like an affected response, defense mechanism. They care very much about not caring. Folks tell themselves they don't care so it seems like they have nothing to lose. Risk nothing, lose nothing... gain nothing.

I’m not sure if I can say what love is but I’m pretty sure what love is not. Love is not a substitute for self-esteem. There is a lot of importance and social-standing associated with the ability to find/keep a mate. As a single woman (by all appearances) I find it mildly amusing that one of the first questions out of peoples’ mouths is “So, have you found a man yet?“ The inference seems to be that until I do there is something clearly wrong with me. I am surely unhappy, incapable, afraid, prudish … and a host of other not-too-flattering adjectives. I’m certainly not saying that folks who are happily in a relationship are there only for appearances' sake but I can see how some people might consider it a stigma (a sign of inferiority or weakness) to be single and a sign of self-worth to be attached.

Love also isn’t about changing who you are. I’m not talking about compromise or the chameleon capers of witchery/seduction. I’m talking about changes to your core self. People who try to make themselves more loveable by pretending to be someone else. People who seem to think they are not acceptable ‘as is’ so they try to be something they’re not (like pseudo-Satanists). Considering the whole obsession with pharmaceutical personality alteration this may be more of a general trait of society than a symptom of “love sickness“. But again it comes down to self-esteem.

People who try to pretend to be something may be successful for awhile but eventually the utter absence of self-esteem shows itself in one ugly way or another. I mentioned in another thread that some folks seem to be in love with the idea of being in love. I think that feeling of being worshipped by someone, the Velcro stage of “love”, can be addictive. Maybe it’s like Huxley’s “soma” - a kind of perfect drug with all of the advantages of Christianity and alcohol and none of the defects. I don’t know. But love-junkies freak me out. They are about as dangerous and capricious and fickle as any other junkie.

The Jerry Maguire “you complete me” thing has always rung a little sour for me. People who depend on me to complete them, to entertain them, to give them clout or pride are exhausting. Psychic vampires maybe, I’m not sure. But if someone isn’t comfortable with themselves that’s a good clue I’m not going to be comfortable with them either.

Maybe if it were an easy thing to define it would be easier to find. But that wouldn’t make it nearly so much fun. jack
_________________________
"What happens in the shadow, in the grey regions, also interests us – all that is elusive and fugitive, all that can be said in those beautiful half tones, or in whispers, in deep shade." ~ The Brothers Quay

We're Just Regular People

Top
#327125 - 05/11/08 10:29 AM Re: Love [Re: Shade]
LightAngel Offline


Registered: 09/10/05
Posts: 1677
Loc: Denmark
That is very true – that if someone is not comfortable with themselves – they will not be comfortable for or with anyone else.

Love junkies, as you call them, are the least reliable of the lot. It is the kind of people who are ever-hungry for more, because they're trying to feed the lion with salad – and whatever they feed themselves – it will never suffice.

I prefer to be single in lack of a right partner, because in the end – if you're with the wrong person – you just end up creating more problems for yourself, you're wasting your time to say the least. People should learn to be whole alone, otherwise they are not whole at all and they will always have a void that needs to be filled.

Society exerts pressure onto people about how they should live their lives, when or if they should get married, when or if they should have children and the like. It all comes down to seeing clear that what is your own desire and then following it regardless of what society says. The philosophy of the herd is to preserve the herd, and today – that means that people surrender their own wishes and desires in order to wallow in the false sense of safety that herd-mentality provides.

As I said before, real love comes naturally, it grows from the earth as naturally as a flower does, but that's just my opinion. People may have a different view on love than me.

The relationship that I'm in now also came completely naturally to me, so that really is my experience when it comes to love.

Top
#327128 - 05/11/08 10:43 AM Re: Love [Re: Shade]
Zaftig Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 3406
Great response Shade.

Quote:
The Jerry Maguire “you complete me” thing has always rung a little sour for me. People who depend on me to complete them, to entertain them, to give them clout or pride are exhausting. Psychic vampires maybe, I’m not sure. But if someone isn’t comfortable with themselves that’s a good clue I’m not going to be comfortable with them either.


Yes. I also think people are in a rush for it, it's almost a fervor to have someone based on the deluded notion that then they will feel whole. It reminds me of women who are desperate for babies to complete them; what a horrible letdown they're in for*, not to mention that the child will never meet this expectation.

Personally, I think it's fun and exciting to embrace new lust. Who doesn't want to engage in erotic romance with someone you're hot for? That's the good stuff. But I'm pretty good and not mistaking that for some sort of contract, or even letting it blind me to warning signals. People seem to be in a rush for the emotional binding, which has always evolved more slowly for me.


* I am not, in any way, degrading women who fully embrace motherhood; just the ones that seek it to fix their self-esteem.

Top
#327130 - 05/11/08 10:50 AM Re: Love [Re: LightAngel]
Zaftig Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 3406
The term "naturally" doesn't quite apply.

It was quite natural for me to fall for a complete loser when I was twenty, as he set off all the same signals that my loser father did; I was responding, naturally, to my natural environment. The imprint made through my experiences were quite organic. It was "love" in the sense that we cared for each other, rather deeply. It was also one of the most volatile dynamics I've ever experienced, and have no desire to ever, ever, subject myself to that again. I've lost my taste for emotional masochism.

It was natural for me to step back and kick myself in the ass. It was natural for me to actively re-imprint my attractions. And it's natural for me now to be aware of my past experiences but not let them dictate how I approach new people.

I gather you mean that can't force someone to love you.

On that point, I completely agree.

Top
#327136 - 05/11/08 11:14 AM Re: Love [Re: Zaftig]
LightAngel Offline


Registered: 09/10/05
Posts: 1677
Loc: Denmark
Originally Posted By: Zaftig

* I am not, in any way, degrading women who fully embrace motherhood; just the ones that seek it to fix their self-esteem.


I agree and I have noticed that women who have chosen motherhood for the right reasons never ask me why I don't want children. I suppose that this is so because they are comfortable with their choices.


Edited by LightAngel (05/11/08 11:17 AM)

Top
Page 2 of 14 < 1 2 3 4 ... 13 14 >


Forum Stats
12157 Members
73 Forums
43918 Topics
405735 Posts

Max Online: 197 @ 10/04/11 06:49 AM
Advertisements