I have a recurring problem: People won't shut up a/b my hair. I am a, for the most part, humble and non- pretentious female. But when it comes to my hair I am quite the vain bitch. My hair comes down to my ankles and almost drags the fucking ground. I literally epitomize the lustful pride of Babylon with my flowing, luscious locks; the snare of all the goddamn ancient kings of the earth. So if one more self- righteous bitch demands I "donate it to cancer patients" I'm going to be hard pressed to restrain my claws. Any advice how to keep my cool? Because that's what I'm all about, is cool. You know, if I contracted a malignancy, I'd be one cool bald woman. I think it's a badge of honor: you overcame your affliction! Ain't nothing cooler. Shiny bald ass head. (Forgive the vernacular; it's a sarcastic inference to the social strata I'm referencing.)

Be honest. Say, "I love my hair a lot, it means a lot to me, and I would miss it if it were gone."

Don't take it personally. Not everyone thinks hair (theirs or others') is as important as it is for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dyl0j3WU6Y

Download the avove link onto one of those little computer thingies you can carry around nowdays.
When the subject comes up, simply hand it ti them to play.
Fun had by all.

When I had long hair that touched my shoulders I made sure it looked as evil as possible. It fit well with my all-black attire and I-am-a-cannibal scowl. Now I shave it regularly.

Being vain isn't a burden to me really. I once had a supervisor that took every spare moment he had to sit at his desk and stare in a mirror. It felt good to know that I am not the only one that does that.

"Any advice how to keep my cool?"

Donate your hair to cancer patients.

Keep the receipt for the hair you buy at a wig store. When someone tells you to donate tell them that you already have. Then ask them when was the last time they donated their hair?.

what reprobate said, or wrap it up in a bun.