ive traveled the internet wide and far
You've surfed the internet.
Try getting outside and doing some living.
. i have found witchcraft a sensitive issue for me. always out numbered by many
I don't get it. Are you saying that you practice witchcraft and are always outnumbered, or that you are always outnumbered by witches?
Regardless, witchCRAFT is just that. It is a practice, not a religion. Many religions practice some version of witchcraft, and plenty of witches are solitary with no affiliation to a religion at all. Here, in this forum, we use the term to define female Satanists.
As for being outnumbered, all individuals are. It is what makes us individuals. It is not a cause for crying, but for celebration!
never finding a based trust in any body to let my barriors down to i suppose be on a coherient level.
If I may be so bold---fuck all that noise. All that new-agey trust/barriers nonsense is just so much crap designed to make people dependent on group think. Trust people who are good to you and don't trust those who suck. 'easy as pie.
witchcraft in short has taken a tremendious toll on my mind body and soul.
Then you are doing it wrong, or looking for excuses for your failures.
You can only be cursed if you feel yourself worthy of cursing. If that is the case than the person you don't trust is yourself, and perhaps you shouldn't.
This is SATANISM. Here you are the only god who matters to you. You alone can change your life. No devil to blame, no god to thank---the individual is responsible for themself.
this is to only try to stay sane.
Because I am feeling all teachy today I will give you a few pointers--
You are either nuts and really need some professional help---which, don't get me wrong, is not so much a character flaw as it is an illness. Or, you think this is devil-worship and that you've come here hoping we are as angry, lost, and magically inept as you are.
Please try to read The Satanic Bible.
If you do you will see that we don't play all that magical horseshit and new age garbage.