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#3583 - 12/08/02 08:06 PM Real Satanists? I think not.
Anonymous
Unregistered


I know I'm probably beating a dead horse right now, but I just had to point this out, it's just that absurd. This post is directed at the bumbling morons who populate the First Church of Satan.

For the record, I'm a registered member of the real Church of Satan, started by Dr. Anton LaVey and still going strong. I don't buy into any of these other satanic cults who claim to have evolved Dr. LaVey's philosophy and organization.

So I decided to go slumming tonight for some laughs and I ran across the FCOS website. It is disturbingly funny to read their material and see just how badly they envy the real Church of Satan. Anyways, their pompous leader who identifies himself as LORD Egan (seriously, LORD!) Does I suppose what you could call his best at trying to sound as much like Dr. LaVey as possible without sounding like a complete idiot. Obviously, he fails miserably in this aspect, as he cribs ninety percent of his "core philosphy" from the Satanic Bible and then claims to pickup where it left off. But the joke doesn't end here. Just when it seems like this dumbass can't possibly get anymore pathetic or vulnerable, he actually states the following (taken word for word from their website):

"Humans who are direct representations of angelic or daemonic forms (same thing), pose a unique problem. At the time of this writing, the world population is approximately 6,253,082,868 people; approximately 300 of them are nephilim (angelic or daemonic beings). Lord Egan belongs to this tiny minority and yes, even in human form, we behave as energy amplifiers/equalizers. People who are mildly annoyed or even slightly jealous of the attention I receive can find themselves experiencing an accumulative effect that gathers more steam as it rolls along. Mild displeasure towards me, transmitted even on a subconscious level, is amplified and reflected back to the sender, often without my awareness! The sender senses this as Egan's over inflated ego lashing back angrily, so they in turn react with even more hostility, and the process advances to a new level, and so on, and so forth. To further add to this confusion, my human personality has no idea why people are lashing out, so I eventually become bitter, adding fuel to the fire."


Please, don't contain your laughter. I know Dr. LaVey said long ago that these imposters would eventually give themselves away as charlatans and thieves, and their jealousy would be so apparent that it would be apalling. But this psycho actually believes he is some sort of Judeo-Christian angelic/demonic super-human being!!! Now I put my support into the right organization, because I wasn't stupid enough to fall for these kinds of cult like shenanigans. Born satanists can sniff out the fakes. But how can anyone with half a brain fall for this kind of garabage?!

Yeah, he says he's picking up where we left off, he's right, yadda yadda yadda. Oh, yeah, and he's actually a demon.

Really, I almost pissed myself laughing. You ever get that feeling when you've been laughing so hard your cheeks hurt and your eyes sting from the tears? I'm like that right now.

-Freethinker
(scan of membership card coming soon)

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#3584 - 12/08/02 08:14 PM Re: Real Satanists? I think not.
Rev_Malebranche Offline
CoS Reverend

Registered: 06/03/02
Posts: 4136
Loc: Oregon
Really... I think his photo says everything.

But, yeah...that horse is decaying mush. And I think I just got splattered. Yuck.

Thanks for the quote from the site, though...I never read THAT much of it.

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#3585 - 12/08/02 08:20 PM Re: Very very dead.
Anonymous
Unregistered


You are very right, and the horse is very dead. Need we give this... this... idiot any more energy?

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#3586 - 12/08/02 08:24 PM Re: Very very dead.
Shrew Offline


Registered: 12/06/02
Posts: 84
Loc: Ft. Lauderdale, Florida USA
In reply to:

Need we give this... this...



Well, he instists he's a demon, right? *laughs*
Not worth my time, this one. I have been to the site too and found it highly amusing. I can remember seeing "LORD Egan" somewhere on television (an interview with Barbera Walters, most likely) a couple years ago and I recall thinking "This guy is full of complete shit!" That's as far as I go with this guy, though... I never really felt the need to look too much into him.
_________________________
"Little angel, go away. Come again some other day. The devil has my ear today- I'll never hear a word you say."- Maynard

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#3587 - 12/08/02 08:33 PM A sight to behold [Re: Shrew]
Anonymous
Unregistered


I know this is off my own topic, but I don't care. Just wanted to let you know that I find your picture positively alluring. I live in an area that is sadly lacking in what I term the "classic dark beauty". I hope the gents (or ladies) in your town appreciate your dark and sensual looks.

-Freethinker

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#3588 - 12/08/02 09:32 PM Re: Real Satanists? I think not.
Citizen_Squish Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 07/27/02
Posts: 1422
Loc: California
This post is directed at the bumbling morons who populate the First Church of Satan.

So why don't you post this on their messageboard? To paraphrase the great Ed O'Neil, in the movie Dutch, I don't care if he lives, dies, or grows mushrooms in his crack. Why honor it by devoting any attention at all to the "organization"?
_________________________
If people had wings, they would die on their backs, buzzing around in little circles.
-Uncle Fester, "Silent Death"

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#3589 - 12/08/02 10:50 PM Re: Real Satanists? I think not.
Anonymous
Unregistered


point 1: giving them attention isn't the best way to spend your time. but for a laughter...

point 2: the onyl reason for which I ever visited the FCoS site was to abuse the literature there. and that is, the literature not written by the members of FCoS, but Nietzsche and the sort.

point 3: he's gotta be stupid. if he's a daemon like he so pretends, there are others like him. and if he let's this whole world know about it, something's gonna get pissed (not I don't believe him, but this adds to the proof of how unnatural his behaviour is)

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#3590 - 12/08/02 10:59 PM Re: Real Satanists? I think not.
Anonymous
Unregistered


All I have to say is that I thoroughly enjoyed your post. Thank you for the entertainment!

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#3591 - 12/08/02 11:05 PM Re: Real Satanists? I think not.
Keso Offline


Registered: 10/06/02
Posts: 373
In reply to:

point 2: the onyl reason for which I ever visited the FCoS site was to abuse the literature there. and that is, the literature not written by the members of FCoS, but Nietzsche and the sort.




You read Nietzsche off your computer monitor? Gaahh, I can barely read a newspaper article on screen without getting uncomfortable. Thank Satan for printers, though, and even more for the printers in schools! If they only knew how many Dostoyevsky novels and movie scripts I have printed there, mohah, mohahahah *puts pinky to lip, Dr. Evil style*
_________________________
Keso

"The skill of accurate perception is called cynicism by those who don't possess it." --Alan Millar

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#3592 - 12/08/02 11:10 PM Re: Real Satanists? I think not. [Re: Keso]
Anonymous
Unregistered


No I hate reading off a computer screen myself. But if the book is online, from that to printing is but a small step.

Or I could go to the local library.

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#3593 - 12/09/02 12:06 AM Re: Real Satanists? I think not.
Malin_Wolf Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 12/06/02
Posts: 1712
Loc: A sleepy little hollow in Flor...
There are freaks everywhere in life. Some are more than happy to make the general public painfully aware of this.
_________________________
"There is less time than the space that confines it. Make it count." -- Me
www.myspace.com/thesickman

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#3594 - 12/09/02 04:25 AM Re: Real Satanists? I think not.
Malice Offline


Registered: 07/15/01
Posts: 3133
The horse may be dead and liquifying, but I like zombie films And that was as funny as hell, I was literally rolling around laughing so hard someone had to read the post aloud for me!

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#3595 - 12/09/02 05:12 AM Re: Real Satanists? I think not.
Anonymous
Unregistered


I also was amused by the white-trash fantasies of this clown, but I agree that we should give him as little attention as possible, so even though I know your motives were the best in ridiculing one of the Church of Satan's many annoying and inconsequential enemies, I move that this thread and the mention of these bozos be removed.

HS!
Kayayjay

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#3596 - 12/09/02 05:41 AM Re: Real Satanists? I think not.
Anonymous
Unregistered


Heh, you haven't seen lord Egan when he gets his underwear in a wrinkle. But he usually deletes the threads (who'd think that mighty daemons would still be afraid of their own idiocy being posted all the time) in which he shows his true nature - that of a seriously disturbed needing-for-love pedophile that can't get laid so he pretends to be a daemon to compensate for his lack of self-esteem, and gets off on 15-year olds who see him as a satanic guru and worship him and whatever crap he spills out.

But I've already had enough of him, like you people said, no reason feeding him energy.

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#3597 - 12/09/02 06:02 AM Re: A sight to behold
Shrew Offline


Registered: 12/06/02
Posts: 84
Loc: Ft. Lauderdale, Florida USA
Freethinker, thank you... And sadly, I know what you mean when it comes to areas lacking people like myself. I live in south Florida (temporarily) and while there are some like minds (and appearances) here, there's not many. The beach blond club-hopper "raver" look is the most dominant down here. Sad, but true. Le sigh.
_________________________
"Little angel, go away. Come again some other day. The devil has my ear today- I'll never hear a word you say."- Maynard

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