Welcome to the forums Suzanne.
I didn't know what I was for a long time.
I feel that you will find that many Satanist have said the exact same (or similar) thing that you just typed to themselves. I am one of those people.
There was no 'name' to identify My differences until I picked up that curious black book with the 'spooky star on it'.
Read read and read some more! On the CoS website there is a link for Satanic Literature. I truly do love reading and I find, that each day (even if I have read a certain book a numerous amount of times? I still find something new in it again).
Happy reading and again, welcome!