A while ago, after having a particulary bad day, my partner (who is not a Satanist) and I were stood freezing cold in a bus stop outside his dad's house, looking a bit worse for the wear.

A smartly dressed young man started to walk over, a businessman wanting to get the bus, we thought.

"Excuse me Sir, can I intrest you in the Church of Jesus Christ?" he said, extending some leaflets towards us.
"Fuck off mate, I dont dig God" my partner growled and the guy who thanked him and swiftly left.

A few days later we were back inside my partners dad's house, all dressed up to go out for a meal and who should walk past but the same smartly dressed young man.

"Back in a second" my partner yelled and I thought "Oh no what's he up to?"

"Excuse me Sir!" He flagged the young man down then whipped my copy of the Satanic Bible out of his back pocket "Can I intrest you in the Church of Satan?"

Needless to say the young man's eyes went wide and he made a quick exit. I bet that's the first time that's ever happened to him.

How rude that he expects to take up peoples time by talkin about his beliefs but can listen to anothers view. Though I doubt he will be coming around here anymore.

I have to say that I really lack respect for people that feel the need to fill their lives with lame mockery of someone else's.

I've never found missionaries to be excessively rude. (Besides the ones that go door-to-door, disturbing your home life! especially when they jam their foot in the door and a pamphlet in your face!) This guy was nothing like that! Your mate could just as easily have said "no, thanks!" and not been so callous. I don't even understand why he would run him down later just to pester him.

So your mate just scared the crap out of someone who doesn't know him, but cares enough that he would sit down and talk to you (like they did for me!) for two or three hours a week. For nearly six months. This man was willing to give up forty or more hours of his life to "help" a complete stranger.

I've been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints since I was 9, when I decided to be baptized. I stopped attending about three years ago, but I can vouch for the missionaries' belief that, as many closed doors and "no thank yous" and rude rebuttals they get, they still try for that two years because they honestly believe that they will save someone, even one single person, and bring them eternal joy.

The difference in saying "Want to hear about Christ?" and "want to hear about Satan?" is the first REALLY want you to hear about it and really want to help you. The second is someone being a jerk and trying to scare people, because we believe in finding it out for yourself and so obviously don't do missionary work.

I have got to agree with dopeoncandycanes, I don't find that funny. It's always best to be polite and ask people to kindly leave you alone, regardless of their religion. Your boyfriend was rude and from the sounds of it the Xian was polite. Just because you're a Satanist, Atheist or what have you, does not make you exempt from proper manners.

EDIT: Though, if a polite "No thank you, I am not interested. Please leave me be." did not work, then a "Fuck off" would be in order, IMO.

But if you expect a Christian missionary to give you the same consideration that you would give him - would that not be committing the Satanic sin of solipsism?

So when you told him to "fuck off", you still expected him to listen to your views? Gee, that makes sense.

It's moronic actions like that which would serve to give the Church of Satan a bad reputation. If you are going to be nasty to missionaries, don't drag The Satanic Bible into your childish antics. I don't know if you've figured it out yet or not, but the Church is not comprised of sad little individuals who can't tell the difference between the Satanism presented in The Satanic Bible, and the "Satanism" presented via British heavy metal band Venom.

I have a simple way of dealing with those people. I turn my headphones up, and simply ignore them until they go away. If I'm feeling generous, I tell them I'm not interested. But I never whip out a Baphomet, or a copy of The Satanic Rituals and start going off. (What the hell is with these people who carry a copy of The Satanic Bible wherever they go, anyways? Are they too stupid to digest and remember it's philosophy that they need a constant reminder with them at all times?)

Silliness.

oh snap, i don't think the poster was expecting these replies at all.

>> "Fuck off mate, I dont dig God" <<

He's a class act then, I take it, this boyfriend of yours.

Personally, when approached by religious proselytizers I politely tell them no thank you.

Sometimes if they seem like a nice enough person, I even tell them...

"you're doing good work. It's just not for me. Thanks for asking though."

I was thinking the same exact thing.

The thing is, these people do not know any better.

They are doing what they have been told to do, and nothing else. According to them, they are saving lives. If you're a prick to them, all they will think is "Tsk tsk, may God someday save him." It's not teaching them a lesson.

(Anyways, I replied to your post Reverend, because I agree. They are like a Chinese finger trap; the more you struggle, the harder they try.)

Actually this week I had some friendly folk at the door. One wearing a cowboy hat haha. Anyways, they said they had some nice magazines with them. If I've watched the movie 'earth' and whether I liked it or not. And to be honest, I really liked the movie Earth. (That poor elephant young walking the wrong way..)

So I accepted their magazines. Had a talk about my student life, very nice people. I said them goodbye and looked at my new magazines and it said "How god created the Earth".

Right now, they're still on my table. I didn't burn them or something. Maybe I'm going to look trough it this week, just to know what their vision is. Knowledge is never bad.

I think maybe that missionary got a little less consideration than he was giving, in this case.

I think they're a little irritating sometimes, but far less so than the weird mentally-challenged guy that I had to deal with for years before I got a car, who would always lurk and follow girls mumbling "hug?" and trying to shove his slobbery face down our shirts. Gross.

When I am encountered (read: awakened at 0700 on Saturday morning) by these young people, I am polite the first time. If the same pair choose to approach me a second time, I get a bit rude. I don't tell them what my religious affiliation is. First; since I am not an authorized public representative of the CoS, second; it is none of their business.

Someone on this board, (I forget whom, sorry) said it very well, "being a Satanist doesn't mean you have to be a big meanie". Funny and true.

While I do see the humour in chasing down the missionary with TSB, I also feel it was unnecessary. Afterall, he politely left when your SO told him to piss off.

I find most missionaries to be pretty cool about being told to hit the pavement. LDS especially. When I tell them 'no thanks', they sometimes inquire about my beliefs and then bombard me with non-judgemental questions about what I believe and how do I worship.

A notable exception to this would be the door-to-door missionaries and the Church of Scientology in downtown Toronto. I hope they've stopped the practice but they generally have their minions outside trying to pass out pamphlets, sell books, get you to come in for IQ or personality tests and when you don't, they follow you down the street hurling verbal abuse and sometimes even throwing things.

Warlock reprobate said:

I generally put them to work for me. Got a pair to help me move a couple years ago. Had another pair stop by a couple weeks ago and they offered to mow my yard... in freezing weather... in the dark.

I was wondering where the humour was.



Ah, there it is!

As I pointed out in the beginning of my post my partner is NOT a Satanist, hence him having a copy of the Satanic Bible handy, he loaned it from me to try and get a better understanding of my views and opinions. Nor did I suggest that I ran out and accompanied him with a fan dance and chorus at 'Look at me I'm a Satanist and I want to scare the shit out of you' I was merely watching the events unfold, I didnt play any part other than an observer so I would appreciate if we could stop 'tarring me with the same brush'. Each is responsible for their own actions, I never suggested that what my partner did was right, I was more amused that he thought it was a good idea than 'abusing' the missionary. As for the end, it was sarcasm.

Maybe in future I should go into more detail, for example the parts where I said 'That's not very nice' on both accounts.

Now you know it was inappropriate and maybe even dangerous. Lesson learned, hopefully.

Oh yes, lesson well learnt, we all make mistakes and I made sure to tell my partner too why it wasnt a good idea.

@dopeoncandycanes: Thank you for citing the passage correctly for me.

I thought it sounded slightly funny, but very harsh. The Jehovah's Witnesses here in Phoenix actually DRIVE up to bus stops and approach me there, and are always VERY polite. I'm NEVER rude to them... they always ask if I want a magazine, and I accept! I take it to work & leave it there- I work with some Xtians. Figure maybe they'll learn something in it.

Now that missionary has a new inspirational story to tell his congregation, about how the "forces of evil" tried to convert him to Devil worship, but he was saved by his unflinching faith.

And if he (like many Christians) lacks the ability to recognize a practical joke, he is now under the false impression that Satanists go around proselytizing.

The part where your friend's joke may backfire is they they will now double the number of street preachers on your area to compensate.

I have dealt with the LDS first hand. My wifes family is LDS (she is not) I have met many missionaries and most are fresh out of high school. They have always been the most polite people I think I have ever met. When they do their missions in other countries they really run into some problems, a cousin of my wife was kidnapped by militants on a mission yet they still go out and do them anyway which I respect, if their beliefs are that strong than more power to them its just not for me.
Anyway now to my point and my opinion,the rudeness is uncalled for and very disrespectful to an other orthodox. And a guy running down the street with TSB preaching the CoS and Satanism is a fool with no idea what true Satanists are about and if he is borrowing TSB to learn about Satanism and pulls shit like that he either has no clue how to read and is a complete moron or it is a different TSB that I read!!
This sounds more like something a christian extremist would do!

I have never fully understood the emphasis on the good name of Satanism. Does this not run contrary to basis, to expect a positive public view of Satanism? Otherwise, I think we ought to be calling it something a might different.

Expecting the Christian population, ignorant as to what Satanism truely is, to misunderstand is one thing.
Fueling their misunderstanding is another completely.

Just because there are morons in this world who hold Satanists in a negative light does not justify anyone with a SATANIC BIBLE to act like an asshole. You can always tell the fine wine from the cheap wine.

Satanism: The Feared Religion.

I do not mean to condone silly actions done in Satanism's name. Still, it seems there is an unnecessary PR campaign for something that is natural to be despised by the herd.

Being despised by the herd is counterproductive. A Satanist don't stand against the flow of sheep, he redirects the sheep for his own convenience.

And the herd most easily submit to an angel mask than a devil face.

Certainly a fair enough stance.

It's not so much PR as it is to disseminate accurate information about Satanism.

It isn't about maintaining a good name. Rather, it is about side-swiping their misconceptions. Throwing sand in their eyes.

Ancient chinese proverb - wear a smiling face but keep a wise head.

Nah, that's not always true, just study Hitler.

He was the perfect manipulator..... and often with an angry face.

>> Nah, that's not always true, just study Hitler.
He was the perfect manipulator..... and often with an angry face <<

The impetus with Hitler was not hidden behind a facial mask.

It was hidden behind a political mask. His violence was justified by creating a political ideology that was marketed as the noble cause of the ethnically elite.

I would suggest such things are possible because the herd's perception of what a mask is, is limited.

Politicians give the herd what they want. At Hitler's times, people wanted anger, so that's exactly what he gave to them.

He didn't present an angry face to his followers. He presented himself as the one who would lead them to a bright future, while channeling his followers' already existing anger against what they perceived as a common enemy.

Hitler had a natural anger, so there was a lot of passion behind his words...

While I did find the story to funny, I would have to (reluctantly) agree that being polite the first time is a good idea. I say "reluctantly" because I'd love to tell them to fuck off, but unless they start bothering me with something other than a simple question, they've done nothing wrong to me. Asking if someone is interested in some bullshit church is technically no worse than asking for the time or directions. If they don't pick up the message, however, I don't think their safety should necessarily be guaranteed.

What do you mean by "their safety"?

Bit of a late reply, sorry. Anyway, "their safety" was meant as sort of a joke; basically, if they don't get the message, it's no longer a given that they will walk away from the person they are bothering unharmed. See Satanic Rule of the Earth #11.

I am well aware of the Eleventh Satanic Rule of the Earth, I believe it is you who needs to re-read it and then re-think it's meaning a little more, big picture wise.

To spell it out for you: To attack anyone physically for annoying you without any physical attack directed towards you first is simply Illegal. That is called assault.

I am not simple minded enough to logically believe that Dr. LaVey meant to literally destroy / attack anyone. It is much easier to ask them to leave you alone, then if they do not; you attack them with words, not physical violence. Now if someone grabbed you and struck / tried to strike you, that would be a whole different story... of course in that situation, you would be defending yourself.

I think what Umpherville is asking is what your interpretation of "destruction" is. I've has SO much trouble explaining this subjective term to people. Though, I find it humorous that the Doc himself probably knew this would freak people out or send their killjoy nature aflame. A wise practical joke, indeed, for the unwise.

In a nutshell, destruction is connotative with relentless torture. Torture may lead to destruction, but not necessarily the physically harmful kind. Perhaps a more emotional kind. Or mental. For instance, Christians are very fragile creatures - revealing certain truths to them about the blatant hypocrisy that commands the lives of their fellow "brothers and sisters" would send them into a flurry of anger and denial. No sooner would they accept their mistakes than they would hang on to their precious rites in fear that THAT might be the end of them. Point for the smooth-talking Satanist, zip for the irrational and starved mind of the guilty Christian.

In truth, the ends ALWAYS justify the means. Sometimes, people incite the prowling Satanist and get exactly what they asked for, whether they like it or not. Mindful as we Satanists are of our well-being, we should give the offender a chance to call the whole thing off.

I'll be godblessed. I guess my post took longer than I thought!

Just the same.