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#371768 - 02/13/09 04:38 AM Are You a Romantic?
Shade Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 07/08/06
Posts: 6135
Loc: A Trailer Park
What's your definition of romance?

What was the most romantic gift you ever received or gave or are planning to give? Most romantic thing ever said to you or by you? Most romantic date? Is romance something you celebrate or does it irritate you?
_________________________
"What happens in the shadow, in the grey regions, also interests us – all that is elusive and fugitive, all that can be said in those beautiful half tones, or in whispers, in deep shade." ~ The Brothers Quay

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#371773 - 02/13/09 05:44 AM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: Shade]
Queen Shiba Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 03/05/08
Posts: 1395
Loc: USA
Good topic!

My definition of romance. For me it is flowers, for no reason. Calls to say, "how are you"?. An unepected hug. No words, just a hug. A "special" look from across the room. A smile meant only for me. Romance is stopping at Walgreens to get some cold medince without me asking for it. Or, picking up something that I dropped because I can't get it because my back is out.

These are just a couple definitions that come from me.

The most romantic gift I ever receieved was a pretty little stone that was in a shape of a heart. Someone near and dear to me found it as they were taking a walk in the woods.

I am planning to give an antique book to a very close friend for Valentine's Day. This is a book he does not have in his collection, but a book he will treasure.

The most romantic thing that was said to me was actually someone singing a song to me.

Romance is something I celebrate.


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#371778 - 02/13/09 06:29 AM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: Shade]
Zaftig Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 3415
The moments that feel truly romantic to me are the ones where a man obviously makes an effort to impress me. I don't mean by expensive gifts or cliche items, but by acts or relics of things that have special meaning to me, and perhaps only me.

I'm always a sucker for a man who does his homework. wink

So, in that way, when I feel catered to, and they demonstrate that they've been paying attention, I'm totally wooed.

I like to feel transparent to a man. I also like to feel that they are careful with what they see. That feeling of vulnerability and security is the most romantic thing.

And, from experience, I can state that most are not paying any attention at all - I'm really not that hard to figure out. So for those that do, I become very easily swayed by their masculine charms! grin

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#371781 - 02/13/09 08:11 AM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: Shade]
IX Von ZehEhv Offline

CoS Warlock

Registered: 12/29/05
Posts: 708
The definition of romance, in my opinion, is different for us all. Whether it be in the context of being on the giving or receiving end, it is of course ideal that romantic notions are viewed in a similar manner between both partners.

That being the case, I would define romance as being inspired actions taken between two individuals, that despite how great or small they may be, have a great deal of sentimental meaning and serve to further deepen the connection that they already hold.

I consider myself a romantic in the very traditional sense. Rather than repeat what most would already read of this definition, I might instead add some of the perspectives that lead to this, in my case.

When a woman inspires me, it affects me on so many levels. I feel strongly about showing these feelings through how I treat her.

So for me, there are a number of things I do that give rise to the 'traditional' romantic notions. Things that I consider to be the foundation for real romance.

I listen... Whatever she may have to say, the good, the bad, I want to hear. I want to know more about her, always, and of course am so pleased to even hear her sweet sweet voice.

I learn... What are her interests? Her likes, her dislikes... I want to know everything I can, and genuinely, of course. In doing this, not only do I grow closer to her, but I am better able to be romantic in the ways that are most meaningful.

I show how I feel... What is the point of having feelings if one does not show them? From telling someone that you love them, to the little things such as holding her hand, to the gentle stroke of her cheek with my finger. She will always know how I feel about her, and what she means to me.

I show support... Whether it be the good times or the bad, I am always there to show support. Many males can 'say' that they support the strong independent female, but instead sabotage her efforts due to insecurity of the ego, that the woman will be more successful. Myself, I show support, I encourage my partner to be the best she can be, to reach her goals.

With these as a foundation, along with mutual respect, the traditional notions of romance mean so very much. They are genuine, heartfelt, and truly encourage a stronger bond. Then, the flowers, the gifts, the dinners, the candlelit baths... All of these become some of the most memorable moments.

.............

As for gifts, I can't say as I know that she will read this. And I do have plans... wink (Too bad if you are reading this baby... No hints!)

As for things I have said or been told, they will remain special moments, just between her and I.

Do I celebrate romance? No...

Romance is a celebration of how I feel about my wonderful woman.
_________________________
"Some people dream of success... while others wake up and work hard at it." - Author unknown

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#371789 - 02/13/09 09:25 AM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: IX Von ZehEhv]
Spelled Moon
Unregistered


smile Maybe this will sound weird, but I don't need anybody else to feel romantic. I like simple things... I like wandering through the night streets, or beautiful places during the day (ordinary for others can be special for me..). I watch the lights, trees, people walking, little birds jumping around...and me guided with some nice music in ears. This makes me feel pretty good, very happy and very content.

One of the most romantic things that happen to me... Are not the words saying "I love you" or giving flowers, though they are nice deeds... And I like to hear them, though somehow I always want to keep a distance and not taking it to my heart.

Something what was really romantic for me, was when I was raising little kitten and she so loved me, she was going everywhere, where me; she was sitting in my lap and looking so beautifully into my eyes, on my face, while I was working on computer or watching a movie, or when we played, she was so funny smile ...and when it deeply slept in my embrace, in feeling of safety. That's something, what was really romantic for me... and really the most candid.

I appreciated more than many other deeds, when my friend was really tired and used to go home with me at night, though he lives on different side of our town and he had long way home when we said good night... He was so tired, and even though that, he was saying jokes whole way, we were laughing; or talks, which we had during those ways are the most beautiful I had with someone; he always listened and is true friend. Many people say, that they are friends, but there are only few, who really care.

I don't direct my mind and romantic sensing of the world to people or lover, I try to see it in everything... Once I would put my expectations of 'romantic' into people, I know I'd be hurted...And there are so many other things to admire.
Yes, candles and red wine, roses and making love, saying "I love you" to the beloved, receiving gifts, and saying how we care are really beautiful, but those are words and moments. I love them, though I need something what persists, I need beauty in every moment and I direct my senses on searching for it, anywhere... The combination of everything is romantic to me and that I value...

Every moment is romantic and special, in fact... it is just our choice, how we sense it.

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#371795 - 02/13/09 11:14 AM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: Shade]
Roho_the_Rooster Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 03/10/05
Posts: 7000
Loc: Pre-Apocalypolis
Originally Posted By: Shade
What's your definition of romance?


My definaition of romance is creating a reality with another person that you mutually agree is more important than others. For instance, we both work in corporations. Each tries to impose its values and way of seeing things on its employees. Our sense of values is based on each other's well-being.

Quote:

What was the most romantic gift you ever received or gave or are planning to give?


It bagan with a massage table and ended with a long, rather thorough shower.

Cigarette?
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#371796 - 02/13/09 11:29 AM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: Shade]
Zaftig Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 3415
I realize that I didn't quite answer all your questions with details. That's because in the past I was one jaded bitch when it came to this kind of stuff and (embarrassingly) acted like a total dolt when there's been some genuine romance; I didn't believe him!

I was such an ass. Live and learn, as they say.

I fully expect you to answer your own questions Shade! wink

And, for the record, if I were your man, I'd totally take you for a walk in a graveyard and give you dead tissue samples floating in formaldehyde for Valentine's day.

Sooooo romantic. wink

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#371810 - 02/13/09 01:54 PM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: Zaftig]
Lilibeta Offline


Registered: 12/06/08
Posts: 157
Loc: Alberta, Canada
I agree with AsecZonei that the definition is different for all of us.

In a traditional sense, I am NOT a romantic person. Candles, wine, silk sheets, chocolates and poetry are all wonderful in theory but I just don't respond to them.

A man needs to understand MY idea of romance. Since I'm a sucker for animals, bring me a black kitten, preferably rescued, with a big purple bow.
I'd rather have tanzanite and silver than diamonds and gold any day or better yet, find me a replica of the 'Lament' box from Hellraiser or treat me to a new corset.
Prepare a picnic of my favourite treats like iced cappuccino, pomegranates and turkey/swiss sandwiches in a nice graveyard. Or let's order in, get a tonne of horror movies and when I get arroused fuck like animals until the neighbours complain. Now light candles and let me tie you up. It'll only hurt a bit, I promise. ;-)

Maybe it's not classy but to me, that's romantic.
_________________________

For my sins I will ask no forgiveness. For my sins they are not to forgive.

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#371814 - 02/13/09 02:19 PM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: Zaftig]
Hedonist Offline


Registered: 01/21/09
Posts: 108
Loc: Australia
I am definitely a Romantic, in every sense of the word.

As a sensualist, the act of sex itself is my highest expression of romance: from languidly drawn out foreplay - to in the midst of a marathon and passionate sex session, consciously slowing it down to clasp her hand and kiss her ever so softly on the lips as we enjoy the warmth of the physical connection at our loins for a few moments before bringing it back to intense animalistc sex. It does not matter if I will never see her again, but I like her to truly know that she valuable to me in that moment, and by concentrating on her pleasure and being sensitive to her rhythms, my own pleasure is increased ten fold....

But I also think that I am a Romantic in the kind of tales that grab and hold my attention, and the way I prefer a passionate story that may or may not be true to cold, dry and sterile facts...

This was apparent when I studied history at university, and preferred the more fanciful themes. One tale in particular stands out as the epitome of Romance (at least to me) - and that was the story of the Chinese General Yueh Fei, the Emperors most loyal warrior who kept the Northern Manchurian enemy out of the Empire...

The general's treasured wife was said to be the most beautiful woman in the Empire, and she was the only thing that he kept for himself, everything else he willingly and lovingly gave in servitude to his Emperor and his country. However, the Emperor lusted after her and while his faithful general was away keeping a powerful enemy behind the great wall and driving them back in confusion, the Emperor ordered that she become one of his concubines - but she committed suicide rather than betray her beloved husband...

When the general learned what had happened, he was overcome with sadness and rage. Striding up to the great wall, he opened the gates, moved the army away and walked away from his post in disgust - allowing the enemy to sweep in unopposed. In short order, they reached Peking, killed the trecherous Emperor (who obviously had no idea of the concept of responsibility to the responsible!) - and ushered in the Qing (final) Imperial Dynasty...

Now THAT is Romance..!
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#371815 - 02/13/09 02:35 PM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: Hedonist]
Evil_Eve Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 4234
Loc: 1313 Mockingbird Lane
I deleted My initial entry which in part, took the readers into My time machine and escorted Us back to My mid teen years.

After reading, and rereading, I deleted the entry because...I feel (at least at the moment) that one cannot describe, explain, give away what 'they feel' is true romance.

I am not for certain of what 'romance' truly is. I am not even for certain that it even exist therefore, I recant.

I do however, enjoy reading these entries.
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If you could....would YOU?



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Magistra Nadramia.

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Revered.
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#371817 - 02/13/09 02:57 PM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: Shade]
dopeoncandycanes Offline


Registered: 01/12/09
Posts: 24
Loc: Colorado Springs
Quote:
What's your definition of romance?


Be my Rhett Butler.

Movies I base my idea of amazing men on: Gone With the Wind, Casablanca, My Fair Lady, As Good As It Gets, Ever After, Vertigo, Titanic.


Quote:
Most romantic date?


My favorite place, Valentine's day, put the engagement ring in a cake and I nearly swallowed that shit.

Romantic gesture, but who the HELL thought of that?!


He's amazing all of the time. Very loving, very giving. Lets me use up the hot water; buys Smooths even though he hates them; never makes me carry anything to the car; tells my son how beautiful he is and says that he didn't think it could happen, but those eyes are just as beautiful in his head as in mine. This car we just bought... he takes me to this dealership and tells me to test drive until I fall in love.
_________________________
I would I could stand on a busy corner,
hat in hand, and beg people to throw me
all their wasted hours.
~Bernard Berenson

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#371818 - 02/13/09 03:31 PM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: dopeoncandycanes]
Herr_S Offline


Registered: 12/25/08
Posts: 76
Loc: Mordor
My definition of romance?

It's so abstract, I wish that I could express it in words.
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Each misdirected act of compassion is a waste of magical energy.

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#371822 - 02/13/09 05:36 PM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: Zaftig]
Shade Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 07/08/06
Posts: 6135
Loc: A Trailer Park
Originally Posted By: Zaftig
And, for the record, if I were your man, I'd totally take you for a walk in a graveyard and give you dead tissue samples floating in formaldehyde for Valentine's day.


Will you be my Valentine, Zaftig? grin

I’ve always considered myself a romantic but never really puzzled over why or tried to put it in words. I'm not sure what it is. For me, it’s this feeling somewhere between something as warm and simple as peppermint hot cocoa, something as adventurous and intriguing as spies or trains or spying on trains and something as shyly endearingly awkward as a first kiss. One part sweet, one part spice, a hint of danger, a splash or two of humour and a whole lot of cuddly affectionate marshmallows. You see my problem? I make no sense. grin

So I was curious how other folks would describe it. I liked what Spelled Moon said very much about it being a way of living in one sense. Full of vim and vigor, squeezing every last drop of colour and jazz out of each moment of every day.

But in a social sense, the most romantic gestures to me are ones that carry with them a little bit of risk. Whether it’s something that was bought, something that was said, something that was made, something that was done. It can be little, big, loud, soft, witty, serious, liquid, coagulated, makes no matter. For me, the real razzmatazz seems to be in the risk, the question, the uncertainty. Will they get the reference, will they understand the quote, will they like it, will they hate it, will they think it’s funny, will they be offended, will they think I’m nuts, will they take out a restraining order, will they not, will they say yes, will they say no... That sort of risk.

I’m not sure if specifics about me personally (what I’ve given or received) are such a good idea here. They might seem pretty gruesome by some standards. I am terribly fond of weird metaphors, obscure symbolism, ridiculously intricate capers. That kind of creativity and thoughtfulness and plotting makes me swoon. But so does pickled punk. I am so old-fashioned.

The most tender gifts have not so much to do with me though. They are a gift from and of my accomplice, a part of him, something created, made, forged. Years in the making maybe. Incredibly intimate and display a degree of vulnerability, candor, and courage I cherish. Things like that touch me so deeply they become part of the story my bones will tell long after I’m gone.

Yeh, I'm a romantic. smile
_________________________
"What happens in the shadow, in the grey regions, also interests us – all that is elusive and fugitive, all that can be said in those beautiful half tones, or in whispers, in deep shade." ~ The Brothers Quay

We're Just Regular People

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#371827 - 02/13/09 07:18 PM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: Shade]
Discipline Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 08/25/03
Posts: 6796
Loc: Forever West
My girlfriend was describing her sexy boots to me one night. She said that she loved them because she could keep them knee high, fold them over, or just scrunch them down. They had many different facets.

I said "They're like a Swiss Army Knife."

For some weird reason she thought that was absolutely adorable.

That was the most romantic thing I have ever said.
_________________________
"I've learned . . . that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes." ~Andy Rooney

"At last I shall have time to devote myself seriously and freely to the destruction of all my former opinions." ~Descartes

“The first principle is that you must not fool yourself—and you are the easiest person to fool.” ~Richard Feynman

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#371834 - 02/13/09 10:28 PM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: Discipline]
dopeoncandycanes Offline


Registered: 01/12/09
Posts: 24
Loc: Colorado Springs
I think it's amazing that you listen to your girl talk about her shoes. smile
_________________________
I would I could stand on a busy corner,
hat in hand, and beg people to throw me
all their wasted hours.
~Bernard Berenson

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#371837 - 02/14/09 12:22 AM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: dopeoncandycanes]
Discipline Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 08/25/03
Posts: 6796
Loc: Forever West
I listen to everything she says.

That does not mean I agree with her every time. wink
_________________________
"I've learned . . . that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes." ~Andy Rooney

"At last I shall have time to devote myself seriously and freely to the destruction of all my former opinions." ~Descartes

“The first principle is that you must not fool yourself—and you are the easiest person to fool.” ~Richard Feynman

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#371848 - 02/14/09 03:17 AM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: Shade]
MagdaGraham Offline
CoS Priestess

Registered: 06/23/04
Posts: 13369
Loc: Scotland
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#371850 - 02/14/09 04:28 AM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: MagdaGraham]
Shade Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 07/08/06
Posts: 6135
Loc: A Trailer Park
Quote:
Instead, it is the kind of profound affection that makes you smile at idiosyncrasies that anyone else would find pointless, or get the joke that nobody else will understand. This kind of love is built of the bricks of a hundred small memories and moments in time. It is the feeling you get when you read a story in the paper, or see a comical character in the street, or overhear a conversation, and know that there is only one person you have to call and tell.


A-ha, yes! For some of us, it may also be the feeling you get when you read about maggot debridement therapy and know there is that One who will share your giddy awe and fascination. No snarky, dismissive comments or exhausting, horrified looks. Just a gentle gooble gobble kind of acceptance. smile

I read once that the most dangerous guy a woman is likely to meet is the one who says he loves her. I guess I knew I was a romantic when that did not dissuade me.
_________________________
"What happens in the shadow, in the grey regions, also interests us – all that is elusive and fugitive, all that can be said in those beautiful half tones, or in whispers, in deep shade." ~ The Brothers Quay

We're Just Regular People

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#371853 - 02/14/09 04:54 AM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: MagdaGraham]
MagdaGraham Offline
CoS Priestess

Registered: 06/23/04
Posts: 13369
Loc: Scotland
_________________________
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#371858 - 02/14/09 07:27 AM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: MagdaGraham]
Zaftig Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 3415
Quote:
Kissing, it turns out, unleashes chemicals that ease stress hormones in both sexes and encourage bonding in men, though not so much in women.


What? Not so for me, as kissing has always been an erotic and sexual act. In fact, unlike most of my girlfriends, I somehow missed the high school experience of making-out with boys for hours on end, because it seemed too intimate to do with someone I was a casual about.

It's practically equal to copulation (almost, but not quite).

Quote:
Overall, the science of kissing - philematology - is under-researcherd, Hill concluded.


Funny, one of the areas I've been toying around researching for a Master's and PhD is the act of kissing in different cultures. Research what you like, as they say.... wink

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#371872 - 02/14/09 04:39 PM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: Shade]
AurEum Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 11/16/07
Posts: 1158
Loc: Australia
“I would define romance as being inspired actions taken between two individuals, that despite how great or small they may be, have a great deal of sentimental meaning and serve to further deepen the connection that they already hold.” (
source ).

I’ve been thinking of what romance means to me and how I would define such an abstract yet deep concept. Warlock AsecZonei has already captured my sentiments on this topic perfectly. The Hell with being original, I submit that I completely agree with his definition … big surprise, I’m sure wink

I would describe myself as a pragmatist and a former synnical closet romantic (simply truncated to romantic these days). I thoroughly enjoy love stories, fairy tales with chivalry at every turn, and chick flicks.

I thought that it was a cruel joke that little girls are told stories of Prince Charming and then spend their teenage and early adult years (and sometimes their entire lives) looking for this mythical persona. When they happen upon someone who was ‘close enough’ they would poke and prod him into the Prince Charming mold and complain when unpleasantries oozed out here and there. My 20 year old self had no chance of finding romance. For me, romance doesn’t start with the oh-so-original and suave pick up line du jour. I remember ‘romantic’ gestures back then that felt so empty and meaningless.

To find true romance I had to be completely happy with myself and not wrapped up in men or the notion of being in love. In fact, I had all but officially sworn off of dating. In the beginning of my current relationship I remember wondering if I was simply being told what he thought I wanted to hear. We had far too much in common with just enough differences to keep things interesting (did I mention that I’m a pragmatist?). Then I realized that it would be impossible, even for an experienced magician to maintain a seamless façade for so long and to consistently strike with accuracy. That’s when I began entertaining the notion that an individual might exist who is the perfect compliment to me (and I to him). These days I find myself smiling and silently thinking that I am living in a fairytale, the only difference being that we’re writing this tale as we go. At least once a day I find myself at least thinking if not saying how romantic or absolutely adorable that is. Romance never gets old. Never. Ever.

***********************************************

As for gifts, yes, I am reading this … and I do want hints! Something doesn’t have to be a secret to be romantic, promise wink He forgot to mention that he’s contemplating shipping it in a box with a combination padlock so that I don’t have the option of opening it before he’s ready for me to (how adorable and mean!)


Yes, I do celebrate romance (and don’t give a damn how many people are nauseated by it). I see romance more as a state of mind. I want him to experience everything with me and I want to experience everything with him. He is my lover and best friend … and is absolutely perfect for me. How can something like that not be celebrated?
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** former username Ealaiontor **

"The truth is I've never fooled anyone. I've let people fool themselves. They didn't bother to find out who and what I was. Instead they would invent a character for me. I wouldn't argue with them." - Marilyn Monroe

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#371998 - 02/17/09 01:06 AM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: Shade]
Bill_M Offline
CoS Magister

Registered: 07/28/01
Posts: 11648
Loc: New England, USA
Originally Posted By: Shade
Are You a Romantic?

Not anymore, thankfully.

That's not to say I can't be romantic. But in my experience, the notion of being "a" romantic is an identity to itself. It typically manifests itself as an unnatural and potentionally dangerous compulsion.

Getting back to a definition of "romance", I would say that it's a ritual of sorts. Satanic ritual is an act of tuning out the day-to-day mundane world and entering a state of "intellectual decompression", leaving emotional ideas open for projection. That's essentially what's going on when a couple is sharing a gondola ride in Venice, or a candlelit dinner, buying flowers, etc. It's a joint intellectual decompression between two people, with some level of projections of lust and passion on each other.

But like any ritual, there are indeed some "wrong" ways to go about it. I'm not just talking about obvious things, like trying to do a ritual and watch TV at the same time (or a romance equivalent: watching a sunset with one arm around your partner, but the other arm sending text messages on a cell phone). But some people want the romance to keep going 24-7, which is impossible. Like all intense outputs of emotion, romance comes and goes. There's also nothing rewarding about doing a group ritual when the rest of the party isn't into it.

I myself have been in a number of very intense relationships that took off fast, only to come crashing down just a few months later. I suspect some of it had to do with the bogus concept of the "perfect mate". Those who expect somebody to be "perfect" are invariably setting themselves up for a let-down, and will amplify any flaw they can find. I've learned that most people's idea of romantic "love" is just mutual infatuation.

As Satanists, I know we'd all like to think that we're immune to "wasting love on ingrates", but it can happen to the best of us. For people who have no life outside of a relationship, romance can easily be a compulsion. I've seen lots of women who, unhappy with a relationship, will try to end it by ignoring or being being cruel to the boyfriend. They essentially do this because they're either too timid to call it off themselves, or despicably think that it frees them of any responsibility. Regardless, it doesn't work with a romantic. Such actions only makes the guy try harder and harder to make things work.

Quote:
Is romance something you celebrate or does it irritate you?

Anybody who tuned into my radio show last week should have an idea.
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#371999 - 02/17/09 01:09 AM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: ]
Bill_M Offline
CoS Magister

Registered: 07/28/01
Posts: 11648
Loc: New England, USA
Originally Posted By: Spelled Moon
smile Maybe this will sound weird, but I don't need anybody else to feel romantic. I like simple things... I like wandering through the night streets, or beautiful places during the day (ordinary for others can be special for me..).

It doesn't sound "weird" so much as their might be a language barrier here. Surely as an individual I too enjoy the quiet contemplation of little things, but "romance" isn't the word for that.
_________________________
Reverend Bill M.

http://www.devilsmischief.com: Carnal Comedy Clips, Netherworld Novelty Numbers,
New hour every week. Download the mp3 now!

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#372003 - 02/17/09 01:39 AM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: Bill_M]
Spelled Moon
Unregistered


In Slovakia, for word romance we use romantika and meanings are these:
- imagination full of exceptionality; fantasies
- fabulous, latent beauty; allurement

With this word is expressed anything, what appears beautiful and eventually hidden to the self.

There is also word romanca, but it is a definition of kind of poem only.

I've searched for English definition of romance: http://www.elook.org/dictionary/romance.html

I more like the Slovakian one. grin smile

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#372017 - 02/17/09 05:37 AM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: Bill_M]
Fiat_Creperum Offline
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Registered: 10/16/08
Posts: 63
Originally Posted By: Bill_M

I myself have been in a number of very intense relationships that took off fast, only to come crashing down just a few months later. I suspect some of it had to do with the bogus concept of the "perfect mate". Those who expect somebody to be "perfect" are invariably setting themselves up for a let-down, and will amplify any flaw they can find. I've learned that most people's idea of romantic "love" is just mutual infatuation.

As Satanists, I know we'd all like to think that we're immune to "wasting love on ingrates", but it can happen to the best of us. For people who have no life outside of a relationship, romance can easily be a compulsion. I've seen lots of women who, unhappy with a relationship, will try to end it by ignoring or being being cruel to the boyfriend. They essentially do this because they're either too timid to call it off themselves, or despicably think that it frees them of any responsibility. Regardless, it doesn't work with a romantic. Such actions only makes the guy try harder and harder to make things work.


Very well said I think. Your post echoes the thoughts I have on this. Many of my mate's girlfriends go through this over and over.

When I was a younger man, I often broke the "rule" of "Solipsism" and figured I could reason with them.

But of course it never worked. They actually COULDN'T listen.

They are addicted to their "romance" emotions just like a druggie. Hooked right through the sack.

You know, love and romance are BIG fairy tales. they get ingrained in us at a young age. Good old social conditioning.

Well, I used to believe in Santa Claus too smile

FC
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#372030 - 02/17/09 07:17 AM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: dopeoncandycanes]
A Blue For You Offline


Registered: 02/16/09
Posts: 2
Romance is a promise outlined in love.








A Blue To You

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#372070 - 02/17/09 01:11 PM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: dopeoncandycanes]
S.Varkant Offline


Registered: 01/14/09
Posts: 29
Loc: England
Years ago I was with a girl who accidently half severed my middle finger whilst we were having sex. I had to take a trip to the hospital at 2am for stitches, and we had to sleep rough in a park as she could not take me to her parent’s house. She had snuck in during the night and gotten hold of a blanket, but it was too small to cover us both, but whilst conscious we hugged underneath. Maybe an hour later she had fallen asleep and she began shivering, so I wrapped her up in the blanket and resorted to lying on the grass. At 6am when the grass became wet I had to put up with becoming damp, cold and wide awake with a throbbing finger. I find things like that are my idea of romance, the little things that you do for someone but never mention to them.

I cannot really connect on any level with what the ‘majority’ consider romance. I once took her to an expensive Italian restaurant, dressed up, holding hands over a candle lit table, and rather than a romantic evening in the literal sense, we ended up laughing and becoming ourselves, indulging into conversations about ‘what if cats were given power in a county council’ and ‘what would be your first reaction to walking into a pub, and everyone had become a cat, each with there own cat sized pint glasses’. Those are the things that make no sense to anyone, and if said to certain people lead to you being committed. They are only relevant to lovers. There was never a ‘you look so beautiful in the moonlight’, just a ‘your having a pizza smaller than your plate and its going to cost me £15 fucking pounds?!’.


Edited by Skold (02/17/09 02:05 PM)

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#372121 - 02/18/09 12:31 AM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: S.Varkant]
CardinalSin Offline


Registered: 01/03/07
Posts: 14
Loc: UK
Romance for me is an emotional connection. A connection between someone and someone else or indeed something. But it relies on a certain degree of matching of values. An action, a phrase, something connects with something else because there is a shared value; a mutual appreciation of the other's shared emotion or feeling or value. Hence an origami rose may mean more to someone than a real one. It means more because it means more to them.

But I also feel that 'romance', like 'love' has become devalued through over use and abuse. So your question made me think that I need to pay a little more attention to what romance really is. Thanks for that.
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#372137 - 02/18/09 04:39 AM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: Bill_M]
Shade Offline
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Registered: 07/08/06
Posts: 6135
Loc: A Trailer Park
People use these words in so many different ways. Shorthand for a person who is comfortable sharing their emotions, a Harlequin library denizen, a more quixotic quality or chivalrous character, the list goes on. I know the definitions will vary but I was having a difficult time finding words for me so I thank everyone for the replies to my post.

Bill_M, you pinpointed one thing I was unknowingly struggling with: the difference between being romantic and being “a” romantic. I like the way you summed up the distinction, makes a lot of sense.

Personally, I like what others may think of as flaws. Especially considering the alternative (perfection can be dull). It's kind of like the difference between villains and antiheroes; the same person seen from a different perspective.
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#372195 - 02/18/09 12:07 PM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: Shade]
TranquilChaos Offline
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Registered: 02/15/09
Posts: 44
Loc: USA IA
I don't see where romance has ever been a concern of mine. I would say however that love has been an indepth exploration for me. Romance only being a very small part of that.

I define Love as the embodiment of all positive attributes that a person can have. That varies from person to person one may not want kids where finding some one who wants to copulate would not be a positive attribute so two people like that could never truly fall in love. I say that because you should always love the person for who they are not for who you want them to be. No matter how much someone or thing intrigues you, you can only keep up a shcarade for so long then either yourself or you supposed significan other will begin creating strain on the relationship which is never good.

Where does romance fall in to this? You must understand the person you wish to romance before you can succesfuly romance them. Remember romance is a gift no matter what form it takes. Like all gifts I believe they should be something useful to the person recieving them yet relfect the person giving them.

Rarely can you find something like that on a shelf. That why You'll almost always find me exploring the depths of my imagination before I even concider making a romantic gesture

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#372200 - 02/18/09 12:36 PM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: ]
Bill_M Offline
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Registered: 07/28/01
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Loc: New England, USA
Originally Posted By: Spelled Moon
In Slovakia, for word romance we use romantika and meanings are these:

Thank you for confirming my suspicions.
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#372206 - 02/18/09 12:55 PM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: Fiat_Creperum]
Bill_M Offline
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Registered: 07/28/01
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Loc: New England, USA
Quote:
You know, love and romance are BIG fairy tales. they get ingrained in us at a young age.

The illusions get further reinforced by romance novels and Hollywood, especially "romantic comedies". sick
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#372207 - 02/18/09 12:58 PM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: A Blue For You]
Bill_M Offline
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Registered: 07/28/01
Posts: 11648
Loc: New England, USA
Originally Posted By: A Blue For You
Romance is a promise outlined in love.

That sounds more like the definition of a marriage license. Put down the fortune cookie.
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#372209 - 02/18/09 01:27 PM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: AurEum]
Bill_M Offline
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Registered: 07/28/01
Posts: 11648
Loc: New England, USA
Originally Posted By: ealaiontoir
I thought that it was a cruel joke that little girls are told stories of Prince Charming and then spend their teenage and early adult years (and sometimes their entire lives) looking for this mythical persona. [...] To find true romance I had to be completely happy with myself and not wrapped up in men or the notion of being in love.

The flip side of this is that a lot of men have been duped into thinking that they have to play the pure Prince Charming role, believing that this is the key to getting a woman. The tragic irony is that acting like a romantic fool typically makes a man less attractive. It's like the guy at the party who tries harder and harder to hook up with somebody, only to find that he ends up repelling women more and more. I know it's almost cliche to use the phrase "being in love with the idea of being in love", but it's a real phenomenon.

Quote:
When they happen upon someone who was ‘close enough’ they would poke and prod him into the Prince Charming mold and complain when unpleasantries oozed out here and there.

This reminds me of another tragic irony of romance: the woman who wants to "fix up" her man to the point that he's no longer the same man she was initially attracted to in the first place!
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#372211 - 02/18/09 01:41 PM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: Bill_M]
BlasphemousOne Offline

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Registered: 04/25/04
Posts: 1656
Loc: Connecticut, USA
Quote:
especially "romantic comedies".


You, Me and Dupree was a GREAT movie!

Just kidding. Never saw it.

As far as being a romantic, I guess I can be to an extent with my wife...but I prefer to use the term "seducer".
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#372236 - 02/18/09 10:03 PM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: BlasphemousOne]
Delta Offline
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Registered: 12/18/07
Posts: 6756
Loc: Nar
The definition of romance is, I hope, to love someone enough to forgive them for finding one's Valentine's day post a few days late. The most romantic gift I ever recieved was the one I got this year, half because it was the most complex, thoughtful, and chocolatefull gift I ever recieved, and half because it was from someone I love more than anyone else I ever loved. Most romantic thing anyone ever said to me- A treatise on clown-o-phobia, the exquisite creature who read it has written sweeter things, but her voice is rare to me and correspondingly precious. Most romantic date, ask again after March 20th. Is romance to be celebrated or is it irritating- Irritating till one year ago, now celebration would come up short. And as for the most romantic gift that I'm planning to give- Nice try, but you'll just have to wait to find out.

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#372739 - 02/23/09 10:43 PM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: Delta]
Branwyn Offline


Registered: 02/20/09
Posts: 92
Loc: Montana, USA

How to explain my concept of romance?

The most romantic movie I've ever seen would have to be The Terminator. It makes me cry every time I see it. Another of the most romantic movies of all time is Deep Impact.

I remember studying Wuthering Heights back in high school, how it was described as being "classic romance," a distinction which had little if anything to do with modern notions of romance. Not a "romance novel" of the modern day by any means, but it's one of my favorite novels and I find it unbearably romantic.

I'm not sure how else to describe my take on romance on short notice other than to use such examples.

It's not to say that I don't get into the more common trappings of modern romance on occasion. I still have a bouquet of a dozen red roses that my boyfriend sent me for Valentine's day four years ago... I carefully dried and preserved them, and they sit on display in my bedroom now, a bit darker for being dried but still recognizably red roses, still beautiful and sweet smelling. (In his defense he's also given me personal weapons and video games at other Valentine's days.)

The most romantic thing anyone ever said about me wasn't primarily spoken aloud. My boyfriend is an aspiring writer, and at the beginning of his novel he wrote the following dedication:

"For (ex-girlfriend's initials), who sent me to hell. And for (my initials), who came in after me."


~Branwyn



Edited by Branwyn (02/23/09 10:50 PM)
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#372751 - 02/24/09 05:39 AM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: Branwyn]
markeverett Offline


Registered: 02/23/09
Posts: 3
Loc: Mid South
Although I don't consider myself romantic in the traditional sense of the word, there are things that I classify as romantic. For instance in my business I build custom cars and often deliver them to customers in other states. A smile from a waitress that pulls one to want another, a wink from a married woman who has for the moment lost complete interest in her better half, and a long anticipated kiss are things that pull at my heart. Perhaps I am a individual who prefers the chase to the commitment.
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#373457 - 03/03/09 07:44 PM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: markeverett]
Ashtar Offline


Registered: 02/25/08
Posts: 27
Loc: Ontario, Canada
I have difficulty summarizing romanticism, but yes I do consider myself one. I suppose it is along the lines of living for immediate emotional gratification, while at the same time, it could also include denying immediate gratification for striving at something that might never come. In either case, it's like a sense of wonder simultaneous with feeling lost or hopeless? Maybe it relates to gambling, both can feel dirty or lame, or exciting and promising, depending on your mood.
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#373509 - 03/04/09 05:58 AM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: Ashtar]
ruraldean Offline

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Registered: 08/21/08
Posts: 227
Loc: England
My romantic inclinations are somewhat limited as you might expect. I understand that romance centres around a deep understanding of the needs and desires of one's partner, and putting that understanding into effect. Soft lighting, candles, unexpected small gifts, a light touch on the cheek - all of this I understand but ignore. But, in my defence, I try not to wake my wife during lovemeaking, and ALWAYS pull her nighty back down.

She likes her sleep.
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#373595 - 03/04/09 08:20 PM Re: Are You a Romantic? [Re: ruraldean]
Gerwolf Offline


Registered: 03/04/09
Posts: 26
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
I would say I am a romantic. I suppose it's because I love the idealised, and typical romantic era of art. The landscapes of England and Germany. I live in Australia, and I guess to be a romantic out here is vertually impossible considering our terrain. We do have great poetry designed to unveil adventure, and heroic figures like Ned Kelly. Yet, say someone in America would go on a road trip to discover America, the further you drive into Australia it becomes more isolated and barren. Therefore, it is like you are walking into death almost. I think I will stick to romanticism of European works!
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