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#379168 - 04/24/09 10:27 PM Dear Satan,
Diwanna Offline


Registered: 01/19/09
Posts: 128
Loc: Upland
I thought I'd write you a letter to let you know about my latest revelation in how the Satanic philosophy is helping me in life and at work. I work in a retail field, specifically I sell pool and spa supplies. It is a bit different than other retail because I'm not just slinging boxes, I'm giving people advice on how to treat their water problems and educating them in pool sanitation. The problem for me has been that I tend to get upset at customers that come in every week with the same problem, typically a green slimy pool(Hail Cthulhu!), and wonder why it keeps happening again and again. Every week I give them the same advice, but they never get the hint. This has been bothering me for 5 years. I'm sure you can understand my frustration. Well, since realizing the Satanic potential in myself over the last year or so, my attitude has started to change. What I began to realize is that these idiots that can't follow basic instructions have given me tremendous power over their lives. They come to me every week to take advantage of my free water analysis and advice and then take whatever I say as gospel and open their wallets. If they would take my advice that I initially offer, and get educated they could test the water themselves and spend a fraction of the money. But because the majority of my customers are either lazy or stupid, I really have an advantage over them, and consequently am learning to reap the benefits. So if someone comes into my store and wants good advice and education, I give it to them in spades, and if they could care less, then I end up filling my coffers weekly with their hard earned dollars. I've always thought that there was 2 sides, either I focus on education and service to my community, or I focus on sales and care less about the customer. I believe I've now found the 3rd side and have been reaping the benefits and feeling better about the services I provide to those who enter my store. Thanks Satan! Sincerely, Diwanna.
_________________________
The Absence of God will bring you comfort. - Jenny Lewis

There is a point in which empirical evidence outweighs your faith. It is then when you must chose to open your eyes, or close them. - Diwanna

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#379181 - 04/25/09 01:09 AM Re: Dear Satan, [Re: Diwanna]
S810 Offline


Registered: 02/11/06
Posts: 326
Loc: northwest
I had a similar experience. I work in package delivery, and have noticed that almost 95% of peoples problems are caused by themselves.

Mostly not listening to directions as you have stated. I don't help stupid poeple cause it doesn't help me in my particular arena of expertise (locating and shipping packages).

I have people tell me all the time that they "don't understand why the driver didn't deliver the package." when it says on their info notice "dog".

"my dog doesn't bite" they say, and I wonder.

"How does he eat?"

All dogs bite, especially when confronted with a stranger on their property.. (little dogs are the worst).

The ones I like are the little old ladies. They know how to tip, and make you feel like your the toughest, young, strapping Gent they've met.

"Your so nice and helpful" they say. Ahh.. it strokes my man ego so well..

And yes, I flirt back because the smile on a ladies face, however old or young is always worth it..

So thanx S810! Your greatest fan, S810..
_________________________
"Morality" It's a fickle thing, little thing,little thing. Depends on WHO, is your king, IS your king. -Fred A. Padilla-

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#379190 - 04/25/09 04:17 AM Re: Dear Satan, [Re: S810]
John Prophet Offline

CoS Member

Registered: 04/06/09
Posts: 995
Loc: My suburban lair
I worked as a zookeeper for several years and it was always amazing just how stupid people could be around wild animals.

We used to say that “people left their brains at the front gates” when they came in.

And whenever someone got injured as a result of doing something incredibly dumb (and it did happen occasionally), we’d sardonically refer to it amongst ourselves as “natural selection at work”.
_________________________


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#379258 - 04/25/09 03:08 PM Re: Dear Satan, [Re: John Prophet]
Lilibeta Offline


Registered: 12/06/08
Posts: 157
Loc: Alberta, Canada
I think the job where I encountered the dumbest people was when I had the misfortune to be working as a florist. I was great with the flowers, bad with the people.

I can't tell you the name of the shop because they are still in business but let's just say that 'roses' was in the title. People would come into the shop, walk past a cooler containing as many as 500 roses, walk up to me and say "Do you have any roses?" *shakes head in amazement* I always wanted to say "No, we don't carry those." But I had to be nice. And it was difficult because by nature, I'm not a very nice person. In the end I was let go because (get this) I was warning customers that the Foxglove and Monkshood flowers were extremely poisonous and thus, they weren't selling. crossbones
_________________________

For my sins I will ask no forgiveness. For my sins they are not to forgive.

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#379262 - 04/25/09 03:21 PM Re: Dear Satan, [Re: Lilibeta]
TheDegenerate Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 11/11/07
Posts: 3567
Loc: Cowtown
Originally Posted By: Lilibeta


I can't tell you the name of the shop because they are still in business but let's just say that 'roses' was in the title. People would come into the shop, walk past a cooler containing as many as 500 roses, walk up to me and say "Do you have any roses?" *shakes head in amazement* I always wanted to say "No, we don't carry those." But I had to be nice. And it was difficult because by nature, I'm not a very nice person. In the end I was let go because (get this) I was warning customers that the Foxglove and Monkshood flowers were extremely poisonous and thus, they weren't selling. crossbones


Haha!

Some people misunderstand, even when the information is right in front of them.

When I was younger, I worked at a video game store. All there was, was video games. One day, a man walked in, and asked, "Do you sell pool tables?"

I bit. "Let me check in the back." Where I broke into a fit of laughter, before coming out and telling him, "No, sorry. I don't see any."

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#379313 - 04/25/09 10:47 PM Re: Dear Satan, [Re: TheDegenerate]
Diwanna Offline


Registered: 01/19/09
Posts: 128
Loc: Upland
This is what happens every day... A customer walks into the store with a bottle of pool water to be tested. If they ask me politely to test their water, then it starts off ok. More often than not, they just shove the bottle in my face and grunt. At which point I'm plotting how much money I'm going to make them spend! Next I start the test and they inevitably tell me, my pool's green and I know I need chlorine. Well, if you know you need chlorine, why don't you add some chlorine, then if there are still problems, come see the expert. Duh! Well, anyways I'm not trying to rant on the stupidity of the majority of the human race as I am turning their annoying actions into a positive for me. Satan, the most positive influence in my life. Wouldn't my old bible study partners love to hear me say that! HS!
_________________________
The Absence of God will bring you comfort. - Jenny Lewis

There is a point in which empirical evidence outweighs your faith. It is then when you must chose to open your eyes, or close them. - Diwanna

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#379396 - 04/26/09 05:50 PM Re: Dear Satan, [Re: Diwanna]
majinjeff Offline


Registered: 03/26/09
Posts: 11
Loc: Portsmouth,N.H.
I'm a manager at McDonalds. I deal with stupid people all day, everyday.

Somewhere at the front door, there must be a sign that stupidy is welcome, and temper tantrums will get your entire order for free!

A great customer stupid complaint I get every few weeks is.

"So a few weeks ago, I ordered a Big Mac Meal and it was so gross I threw it away when I got home. I would like to have a free one now!"

I'm suspose to just take their word for it and give them a free meal, otherwise I am just rude and they are going to call and complain.

Try that in any business. I bought a fish tank here and I didn't like it when I got home, so I threw it away. Can I have a new one?

In dealing with these stupid people, for me is a motivating force to not be stupid like them!

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#379430 - 04/27/09 01:05 AM Re: Dear Satan, [Re: majinjeff]
Bill_M Offline
CoS Reverend

Registered: 07/28/01
Posts: 11558
Loc: New England, USA
When I was in college, I worked a few summers at a gas/convenience store. That was quite an experience.

I suppose the stereotype is that it's the rich and upper-class customers who are the meanest and most demanding. But in my experience, nothing could have been further from the truth. It was always the blue-collar workers who were the biggest assholes. They lived for mottos like "The customer is always right!" A popular rallying cry was "Hey, that's false advertisement!" I guess that for those who don't have much power over their lives in the first place, taking things out on a clerk gives them a vicarious power trip.
_________________________
Reverend Bill M.

http://www.devilsmischief.com: Carnal Comedy Clips, Netherworld Novelty Numbers,
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#379443 - 04/27/09 10:02 AM Re: Dear Satan, [Re: Bill_M]
Diwanna Offline


Registered: 01/19/09
Posts: 128
Loc: Upland
I think you're right about that power trip. When they walk in the store, shove a bottle in my face and grunt, it's like they are saying "you must serve me, now get to it!". Well I usually respond by saying one of the following, "what do you expect me to do with this?", or "I'm sorry but I'm not thirsty.", or "Sir we don't allow beverages in our store." That kind of knocks them off balance and shows them who's really in control. I'm been very tempted to take a couple of our complementary bottles home, lay a curse of slime on them and then set them aside for the regulars that are real assholes. Oh Cthulhu where are you?
_________________________
The Absence of God will bring you comfort. - Jenny Lewis

There is a point in which empirical evidence outweighs your faith. It is then when you must chose to open your eyes, or close them. - Diwanna

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#379463 - 04/27/09 01:17 PM Re: Dear Satan, [Re: Diwanna]
DCLXVI Offline

CoS Member

Registered: 07/13/06
Posts: 1064
Loc: U.S.A.
I would venture to say that the majority of herd animals a (political correctness, Bill), um, mentally challenged? The least of these being the two legged variety of herd animals.

No matter the situation, they think the world is their oyster. WE are there to serve them. Turn the table, they are the employee, someone else enters their establishment for a service they are paid to render, we are wrong in expecting them to render said service.
_________________________
"Churches may close and old shepherds may die, but the herd will always be the herd."
Reverend Bill


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#379473 - 04/27/09 04:25 PM Re: Dear Satan, [Re: DCLXVI]
SinuheL Offline


Registered: 04/14/09
Posts: 3
Loc: New Mexico
I'm a gynecologist (just imagine the possibilities) and we recently instituted M.O.D. awards that are given by the staff to the moron of the day. No shortage of takers.
_________________________
SinuheL

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#379562 - 04/28/09 11:03 AM Re: Dear Satan, [Re: SinuheL]
Raithe Offline


Registered: 04/04/09
Posts: 20
Loc: USA, Manchester UK
My former mother in law told me this one day when we were talking of people and their blind actions. I will never forget it. A man and woman were in her store buying material for curtains. They started arguing about the length they needed. The woman insisted the length was foot and a half and the man insisted it was half a yard. My mother in law could not help but aid the two in their argument and asked "Are you sure it's not 18 inches" and walked away laughing inside. Sometimes it's nice to just sit in a mall and watch people. Lessons can be learned each day as to what to never do and say. And they say cable tv is entertaining lol.
_________________________
It's not the life I have lived that defines me. It's the life I and living.

http://vampiretemple.com/



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#379569 - 04/28/09 01:51 PM Re: Dear Satan, [Re: Bill_M]
Evil_Eve Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 4234
Loc: 1313 Mockingbird Lane
Originally Posted By: Bill_M
When I was in college, I worked a few summers at a gas/convenience store. That was quite an experience.

I suppose the stereotype is that it's the rich and upper-class customers who are the meanest and most demanding. But in my experience, nothing could have been further from the truth. It was always the blue-collar workers who were the biggest assholes. They lived for mottos like "The customer is always right!" A popular rallying cry was "Hey, that's false advertisement!" I guess that for those who don't have much power over their lives in the first place, taking things out on a clerk gives them a vicarious power trip.


Your entry brought back some old memories.

Like yourself, when I was younger I also worked at a gas station/convenience store. Some of the people I encountered there on the 'graveyard shift' were frightening!

You're correct, it normally wasn't the upper crust type of people who moaned the most, it was either blue collar workers or the ones who came in with food stamps and bought candy bars yet had enough money to buy booze and smokes and gas to fill up the Caddy. These people were class A jerks and treated both Myself and the other help as if We were subhuman even though I was the one working two jobs at the time which left little time for sleep and even less time to listen to their BS.

This wore at My patience. I was a doughnut maker and clerk, and when I wasn't flipping doughnuts and thinking about My other job I was listening to some 'jobless' loser buying Mad Dog 20/20 and Snickers bars telling Me just how stupid I was.

I feel this is why I am especially courteous to those who work at filling stations or fast food joints. I have been there and know the pain of working a thankless job (or two) to survive.

We need those people and I always get really peeved when I see someone treating a clerk like a bozo when the clerk ISN'T being a bozo. You hear them shouting "This is why you work at a fast food joint, because you're an idiot!"

I cannot stand the fact that some people view EVERY person with such a job as being incompetent as this simply isn't true.
_________________________
Satan LIVES!
If you could....would YOU?



"Our religion does not require martyrs."
Magistra Nadramia.

FEARED!
Revered.
YOU can be a voice for the voiceless.


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#379570 - 04/28/09 02:01 PM Re: Dear Satan, [Re: Diwanna]
Roho_the_Rooster Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 03/10/05
Posts: 6999
Loc: Pre-Apocalypolis
Two things:

1) I will admit that I have asked some dumbass questions in my day. Still do. It is often difficult for someone who is extremely familiar with something to remember that even the obvious may not be.

2) I enjoy reading how other blue collar Satanists walk the walk.

Thanks for the post.
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http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/clickToGive/home.faces

http://theepicureandilettante.blogspot.com/

"Life is the only race you lose by reaching the end." - M.M.

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#379600 - 04/28/09 06:55 PM Re: Dear Satan, [Re: Roho_the_Rooster]
Diwanna Offline


Registered: 01/19/09
Posts: 128
Loc: Upland
So does anyone else have a story about where they were/are able to turn this experience in their favor?



At least one time every day someone walks in my store and says... Why does your store smell like a pool? Or Ewww! What is that smell? Or Doesn't the smell get to you? I usually have some snide quip to respond with, and I use that to get customer's guard down. It's annoying as hell, but it's all part of the satanic sales technique.

I love the fabric story, that's awesome. It reminds me of this one couple that came into my store arguing over whether they needed Clorox or Chloride? They are of course different, but improper names for the same thing. Hilarious!
_________________________
The Absence of God will bring you comfort. - Jenny Lewis

There is a point in which empirical evidence outweighs your faith. It is then when you must chose to open your eyes, or close them. - Diwanna

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