Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2
After Dinner Parties and Rude Guests. #381258
05/12/09 10:33 PM
05/12/09 10:33 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 1,649
U
Unknown Offline OP
Unknown
Unknown  Offline OP
Unknown
U

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 1,649
This is a short post on effective techniques to deal with rude guests when in a polite setting.

1.) If you have a guest at the dinner table who tends to bring negative energy you can easily distract the attention away from them by the dropping of a fork loudly onto your plate.

2.) If a guest demands or asks for a fork or spoon out of reach in a rude way be sure to set the utensil down on the table as they reach with an open hand.

3.) If you're a male and are head of the household and another male is present, be sure to sit next to them in a very domineering posture and bump their shoulders a few times as if by "accident". This will ensure that the male guest will be on his best behavior.

4.) If a guest tends to nag a lot be sure to drown them out by having someone on cue over talk them or laugh loudly.

I am sure there are more practical applications when it comes to dealing with rude guests. Care to share yours?










Re: After Dinner Parties and Rude Guests. [Re: Unknown] #381259
05/12/09 10:35 PM
05/12/09 10:35 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 152
Azathoth Offline
Azathoth  Offline

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 152
Don't invite them.


"I don't know how masochism became synonymous with masculinity."- Rev. Bill M.
Re: After Dinner Parties and Rude Guests. [Re: Azathoth] #381261
05/12/09 10:43 PM
05/12/09 10:43 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 1,649
U
Unknown Offline OP
Unknown
Unknown  Offline OP
Unknown
U

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 1,649
An easy enough answer if you already know the people are rude.

Sometimes first time meetings happen over a dinner.










Re: After Dinner Parties and Rude Guests. [Re: Unknown] #381272
05/13/09 12:24 AM
05/13/09 12:24 AM
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 12,990
The Solid State
TrojZyr Offline
CoS Witch
TrojZyr  Offline
CoS Witch

Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 12,990
The Solid State
Strategies for handling rude dinner guests:

*Humor. Be sure to keep it light, and playful, and even a bit self-deprecating, so that you don't end up coming across as a bully, a jerk, a whiner, or a bitch. The key is to let the rude person's own stupid remarks bounce off of you and hit him back in the face.

*Resist the urge to get into power struggles or pissing matches. Don't let the rude person become your tar baby. If you respond to their actions or remarks, do so calmly, without rage or hurt.

*If the rude guest makes snippy, snarky, or passive-aggressive remarks, ask them the purpose and meaning of those remarks, sincerely, and without malice. A lot of bullies and snipers will retreat if someone actually takes them to task for their remarks, instead of just letting them spout off ad hominems. The key here is to not let loose with a growly, "What do you mean by THAT?!" because then you're adding fuel to the fire. Act curious and innocent instead.

*Alternately, sometimes it's better to just ignore rude people--say, by changing the subject--especially if their antics are obvious cries for attention.

Of course, it all depends what you mean by "rude." Here, I've assumed that a rude person is someone who's shown up to the party for the purpose of shit-disturbing. But, I suppose a rude person can also be one who discusses inappropriate topics or has crappy table manners.


"Gentlemen, the verdict is guilty, on all ten counts of first-degree stupidity. The penalty phase will now begin."--Divine, "Pink Flamingos."

"The strong rule the weak, and the cunning rule over all." HS!
Re: After Dinner Parties and Rude Guests. [Re: Unknown] #381277
05/13/09 02:59 AM
05/13/09 02:59 AM
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 11,651
New England, USA
Bill_M Offline
CoS Magister
Bill_M  Offline
CoS Magister

Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 11,651
New England, USA
A friend of mine used to get rid of unwanted guests by just playing something highly offensive on his DVD player, like a snuff film bootleg, or select chapters of Magister Paradise's The Best of Subterranean SINema. They were usually the types where it didn't take much to offend them, and thus having them wanting to leave soon.

Personally, I can't think of any times in recent years where I had a really unwanted guest. I think that's mostly because I've managed to avoid my place being the big hangout spot among acquaintances. Most of my friends have never even set foot inside. I'm happy to do the driving and let them be the hosts; I guess it's a win-win situation!


Reverend Bill M.

http://www.devilsmischief.com: Carnal Comedy Clips, Netherworld Novelty Numbers,
New hour every week. Download the mp3 now!

http://www.aplaceformystuff.org: Tales of Combat Clutter and other Adventures

(Wenn du Google's ▄bersetzer verwendest, um diese Worte zu lesen, dann bist du ein Arschloch.)
Re: After Dinner Parties and Rude Guests. [Re: TrojZyr] #381281
05/13/09 05:25 AM
05/13/09 05:25 AM
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,814
Denmark
verszou Offline

verszou  Offline


Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,814
Denmark
These are all really good advise, especially this one.

Originally Posted By: TrojZyr

*Resist the urge to get into power struggles or pissing matches. Don't let the rude person become your tar baby. If you respond to their actions or remarks, do so calmly, without rage or hurt.


I've noted that if you du give your very blunt opinion to such people, harshly but calmly they will often try to appeal to the rest of the people with things like "that wasn't very nicely said" or "you're being mean", so if one just calmly reply "yes, I know" it usually shocks them into shutting up for a while smile

Ignoring them, changing the subject etc. works with most of them, though with some people it just works as an incentive to be more annoying until they get the attention they're after.


While having never invented a sin, I'm trying to perfect several.
Re: After Dinner Parties and Rude Guests. [Re: Unknown] #381289
05/13/09 07:41 AM
05/13/09 07:41 AM
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,263
Behind You
tekku Offline
CoS Witch
tekku  Offline
CoS Witch

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,263
Behind You
I prefer to use the 4th Rule of the Earth.

If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

Having said that, I have only had to use it once in respects to a friend's former fiance, who somehow got the idea one night that he was the king of My castle. He was quickly shown otherwise.

If you are to come into My home & cannot behave in an adult fashion, then I don't see why I should have to spare any kindness.

It's My home.

Outside of a few close friends, partner's and family, I prefer to go to people's houses or meet them elsewhere.

I will not invite "randoms" here, under any circumstances.


That is not dead which can eternal lie,
And with strange aeons even death may die
~H.P. Lovecraft~

La bonne cuisine est la base du v´┐Żritable bonheur ~Escoffier~

Church of Satan
Re: After Dinner Parties and Rude Guests. [Re: Bill_M] #381322
05/13/09 03:27 PM
05/13/09 03:27 PM
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 12,990
The Solid State
TrojZyr Offline
CoS Witch
TrojZyr  Offline
CoS Witch

Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 12,990
The Solid State
Or, you could just pop some Gordon Lightfoot into the ol' CD player, and play "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald." laugh


"Gentlemen, the verdict is guilty, on all ten counts of first-degree stupidity. The penalty phase will now begin."--Divine, "Pink Flamingos."

"The strong rule the weak, and the cunning rule over all." HS!
Re: After Dinner Parties and Rude Guests. [Re: TrojZyr] #381668
05/17/09 06:52 PM
05/17/09 06:52 PM
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 92
Brooklyn, NY
Venus Flytrap Offline

CoS Member
Venus Flytrap  Offline

CoS Member

Joined: May 2009
Posts: 92
Brooklyn, NY
If by chance, your guest is a "friend" of your roommate or spouse, and it's a situation in where you have NO say in part of his entering and the dwelling is your domain, and it is known that he is an arrogant asshole by whatever degree, use his weakness to make him feel most uncomfortable. Like using alot of imagery around the house that will unnerve him, or blast the AC if he typically is prone to easy chills. I find he will greatly reduce his occupancy. Subtle detail matter.


"We have such sights to show you" -Hellraiser




On the Undercroft:

http://www.satannet.com/Shadowedlight/

On Facebook

www.facebook.com/Satanicdragon




Re: After Dinner Parties and Rude Guests. [Re: Venus Flytrap] #381833
05/19/09 02:10 AM
05/19/09 02:10 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 47
Terrenial Offline
Terrenial  Offline

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 47
Usually people get in line with one snap if they are guests and thats all it will take. They probably dont even realize they are being rude so just let them know the second they do something out of line... If you dont, you have set the precedence that its ok for them to continue that behavior.

The reason im guessing you asked this question is because doing the above would seem to create drama/upset at a mature setting where everyone is expected to act like ladies and gentlemen. And if its that kind of party, then you can still be polite while enlightening them. Like "You know, I have to be honest with you, ... I found the way you did/said xxx to be quite rude and out of line" If you say something like that in a very calm and disarming voice(aka not attacking), how likely is it for them to not listen to you? And if they get offended/act unreasonable after you've been so polite to warn them in a very neutral way, then be a rude bitch to them right back and throw them out!

Last edited by Terrenial; 05/19/09 02:33 AM.
Re: After Dinner Parties and Rude Guests. [Re: Unknown] #381835
05/19/09 02:52 AM
05/19/09 02:52 AM
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,580
Calgary
TheDegenerate Offline
CoS Member
TheDegenerate  Offline
CoS Member

Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,580
Calgary
Be stern.

If it is someone you know really well, it's easier to be nice. But if some punk is over not by choice, (The boyfriend or girlfriend of someone you have invited) it might be more effective to say "I'd cut that shit out if I were you." than simply trying to be as civil as possible. Some people, especially very rude ones I find require a higher level of discipline...maybe they crave it, even.

Re: After Dinner Parties and Rude Guests. [Re: Unknown] #381882
05/19/09 04:31 PM
05/19/09 04:31 PM
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 7,000
Pre-Apocalypolis
Roho_the_Rooster Offline
CoS Warlock
Roho_the_Rooster  Offline
CoS Warlock

Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 7,000
Pre-Apocalypolis
When I was dating my soon to be wife, one of her "friends", a guy, came to visit. My wife was cooking. He kept complaining about what she was cooking, or how...whatever.
I simply told him to leave if he did not like it.
He did.
I've not seen him since.
I don't do subtle.

Re: After Dinner Parties and Rude Guests. [Re: TheDegenerate] #381891
05/19/09 05:24 PM
05/19/09 05:24 PM
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 326
northwest
S810 Offline
S810  Offline

Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 326
northwest
I like this take on it Phosis. Sometimes if someone is rude I will start a conversation on the things that piss me off.

And even bring up the fact that my children are smart enough NOT to pull that shit. Of course many times my children's manners will take care of the job.

I've even had the experience where the kids actually do the clean up detail with said 'rude guest'.


"Morality" It's a fickle thing, little thing,little thing. Depends on WHO, is your king, IS your king. -Fred A. Padilla-
Re: After Dinner Parties and Rude Guests. [Re: tekku] #381893
05/19/09 05:54 PM
05/19/09 05:54 PM
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 282
VA
crystalclear Offline

CoS Member
crystalclear  Offline

CoS Member

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 282
VA
I agree with tekku. I do not invite those over I don't already know. I meet them in public, and if I find them offensive I can leave. And as already stated, if they behave badly in my domain, they will wish they had not!


"Those who appear most sanctified are the worst" Elizabeth I

"The important thing is not what they think of me, but what I think of them" Queen Victoria
Re: After Dinner Parties and Rude Guests. [Re: crystalclear] #381896
05/19/09 06:36 PM
05/19/09 06:36 PM
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,814
Denmark
verszou Offline

verszou  Offline


Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,814
Denmark
Originally Posted By: Adrasteia
I agree with tekku. I do not invite those over I don't already know. I meet them in public, and if I find them offensive I can leave.


I once had a colleague of a friend ask me why he was never invited to my place, and being a bit drunk at the time and quite pissed off with the way he usually behaved when I met him at their place I simply told him that he did not qualify for being invited to my place.

This was somewhat contrary to rules of good behavior since I was at the place of friends, but afterwards I choose to not be available when invited to situations where this person was invited.

In the end my friends started lying to me about him being invited, hoping that I'd endure his company once I was there. Of course this only resulted in me being even more reluctant to be with them.


While having never invented a sin, I'm trying to perfect several.
Page 1 of 2 1 2

Forum Statistics
Forums59
Topics43,731
Posts401,443
Members13,396
Most Online227
Sep 17th, 2018
Advertisements

hold
Page Time: 0.027s Queries: 15 (0.021s) Memory: 1.1012 MB (Peak: 1.3030 MB) Zlib enabled. Server Time: 2018-12-14 05:03:42 UTC