A man from the other side of the world, admired and famous and unaware of my existence.
I saw him on video, and I was instantly infatuated. I found myself seeking out any snippet of information or imagery I could, becoming glued and sinking deeper into a kind of obsession, wanting more and wanting it only for myself.
He is the embodiment of innocence. Small and feminine with a kind of spirit and blinding purity that makes me physically weak and realizing I have stopped breathing, cuz I've beheld something words can't describe. I see his smile when I close my eyes. My chest hurts when I think of how I want to reach through my screen and touch his face, wrap my arms around him...I'm even now realizing this is felt in lieu of a single sexual thought.
I'm in love.
And never like anything before. The intensity is like nothing ever felt. I'm sick from it. Can't leave my room. And stuck right here.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
You are either an overgrown pre teen or a total nutjob. Either way, you don't belong here. The sort of help you need isn't going be found on a message board.
You really ought to stop making an idiot of yourself, not to mention wasting people's time. It would be great if you would leave of you own accord.