It seems the newcomer's intro is a recurring topic here. I'll throw mine into the cauldron as well. I'm sure the more seasoned of you have read this "testimony" in the words of countless others. As the old preface goes: Stop me if you've heard this one.
I'd read bits and parts of the Satanic Bible years before, with a closed mind, just looking to find flaws. Ignorance is it's own lesser magic and of course I was able to find what I was looking for, thus deciding that LaVey and his teachings were a waste of time. My own nature kept drawing me back and it was recently that I decided to abandon my raging skepticism to really understand what Satanism was about.
Upon suggestion, I obtained The Satanic Bible, The Satanic Rituals, and The Devil's Notebook. I started with The Satanic Bible, deciding not to look for anything, letting the words speak for themselves. In a day I'd finished the book, and turned to the other books with the same enthusiasm, unable to put them down. The effect of what I was reading, was highly unexpected. As a pessimist, one who challenges everything to find his own way of thought, it was the first time I read something that even I couldn't dispute. Truth is undeniable and has a way of sinking into even the most headstrong nonbeliever.
It was as if all my thoughts and ideas had been taken from my head and put into words. Learning more about LaVey spawned a respect for the man that I'd never think I'd have. He was no longer just a mirror version of the Crosstitute world complete with his own brand of irrational insanities, but a deeply interesting and worldly individual whom from which a revolution in the before desolate field of common sense had been spawned.
The books I read just made sense, and it occurred to me that I'd been living as a Satanist in some fashion or another, even as a child. I was born a Satanist and through Crosstitution and Societal spellcraft I'd temporarily lost that way during my younger years. As I grew out of it, much like a snake shedding skin once too large to it, those Satanist views were brought to the surface, stronger than before. It wasn't until a deep study of LaVey's three literary offerings that I grew to understand that Satanism was the name for it. That revelation brought a clarity I'd never known before. I could always "see", but with the knowledge I obtained, I could see more clearly and understand what I was seeing. The Satanist was reborn, and once the demons have opened the gates there is no turning back....
Edited by Drakkar Tyrannis (11/11/09 12:31 PM)