I have a cold. Y'all know how that goes.
Snot, coughs, sneezing and misery. This is SO not the time to be representing myself in any sort of social context. I stay at home and wallow in self pity, whilst reading books and shit. A cup of tea. Even television!
Unreasonably, I have a clear and present feeling of a steel rod penetrating my entire skull, making me itch and sneeze whenver I have to turn my head (which for a lot of reasons you of course have to do every so often).
Now... I have some strong codeine tablets that really helps with that. (I do of course also have all the Sudafed and NyQuil shit all stocked up.) I take a pill and I get relieved of this insane idea that one of my eyes is trying to escape from its socket in order to do god-knows-what on its own out there in the big bad world.
I hate this shit!
But it is necessary. I have to endure and prevail. Take it like a man. With the pills. And the tea. And the mind-boggling fucking stupidity of all the shit that comes on TV. WTF? Is this my species? Is this me? Will I have to answer for this to anybody? Fuck me running, that shit's just embarrassing!

"The Power of Illusions"...???

Yes, banana revoked.

Wow, talk about violating Satanic Rule of the Earth #2. And maybe even #3 (if an admin implements #4, we'll know).

Dear diary.....

E.T. go home...

>>

I'm a fan of pills numbing the pain, as much as the next guy, but I can't imagine codein helping the flu or a cold. I'm pretty damned sure this isn't the place to produce your disjointed, high ramblings. (not trying any civilian policing or anything)

I do get what you mean, about how when you are ill you are something else entirely and being yourself goes out the window. I had my swine flu jab the other day and spent the night having surreal nightmares about cows, BUT I also think you hit the nail on the head in the opening statement... Now is not the time to represent yourself!

Now THAT is a story of interest. Please tell me more about these nightmare cows.

Well as you asked.

At the farm we have a feeding area which is pretty much a road through two sets of cows, and while I had a fever state after my flu jab I had to get the amount of food even on each side of the track, but instead of a pitch fork I was using the two forks on the front of the tractor. The cows had red eyes and were going mental. It was pretty scary at the time and it seemed to last hours!

It isn't a nightmare that will bother me though. The next day at the cow house all it took was to see a cow buck along, run head first into the wall and fall over into shit to know that the only thing scary is how stupid they are.

We call the rest of the world cattle for a reason.

I can graciously inform the world that I am feeling better today. On the birthday of Baby Jesus! Yay! (Hark! Now hear the angels sing.) This is of course no coincidence. I think it is caused by magnetic radiation from the Rosslyn Chapel in Scotland. I can only wish I had been further away when the aliens came.

Okie-dokie. Now that that has been cleared up, I would like to proceed. Does anyone here remember the story that the doctor wrote about whoopee cushions? I like that one. In fact, I like things that are funny - and not just because I am a smart motherfucker who likes to laugh at all the simpler life forms - but because it just feels good to laugh. It really does!

In a ho-ho-ha-ha-ha kind of way. Who cares? It's the birthday of Baby Jesus! (Hark! Now hear the angels sing.) It is quite amazing how many images that have been crammed into any average contemporary human being and how this motivates them to take action. Those poor motherfuckers are even worse off than when they were serfs. They just don't get it.

Here's my contribution to the party:

Okay seriously... I give up. *User Ignored*

What are you on? I'd like some. Before I disconnect my internet of course.

I'm with this guy. Whatever chemicals you're under the influence of are sure to put me on quite a bender.