Life on the farm is a funny thing. Do you even have any realistic idea about how powerful a common pig is? Man, I tell you; those are some pretty fucking strong animals. I grew up with cows and pigs and sheep and chickens and shit and shit and shit. Yeah I know what nature is about. It's about the fucking birth canal, the screaming bloody explosion of a torn pussy that evicerates a foetus so that the world can roll on. Or it is about the colon. Eat this, shit that. Animals do it. Chomp chomp.
Some friends of mine had a pig that went a little evil. Actually it became quite dangerous. Do you know anything about pigs? If you don't, just trust me when I say that you don't want them chasing you. What were they going to do? Lord of the flies! Of course! "Kill the pig!". Being four guys they felt pretty confident. They had ropes and knives. And a shotgun. The only problem is, you can't kill a target that refuses to stay within range. And you don't want to get too enthusiastic with your shotgun (a Cheney?) within the firing range of where your mates are moving.
So... stalking a pig with lassos. Fabulous. They finally suceeded in capturing one of its legs inside the barn, making the really rather large male pig become REALLY furious, so it was at the point when all four of them came smashing right through the wall, splinters flying all over the place, men and beast hanging at ropes for their bare lives, that the neighbour "grandpa" simply walked right up to the wiggling pig and shot it five times with his handgun. Then he grinned. "Y'all guys dreaming of becoming farmers? Go back to the fucking city, you pussies."
Previous Topic
Index
