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#411693 - 02/08/10 02:21 PM Re: How many kids do YOU want? [Re: Bill_M]
Remo razz Offline


Registered: 03/20/07
Posts: 68
Loc: Canada
ROFL
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#411694 - 02/08/10 02:25 PM Re: How many kids do YOU want? [Re: Original Sly]
Branwyn Offline


Registered: 02/20/09
Posts: 92
Loc: Montana, USA
I think that I would like two. I know I want at least one, and I'll decide on the second after the first comes along (barring interesting luck such as twins, which would be okay with me).

I know I want to be a parent (not yet, but I do). I think siblings are good, and I've known far too many only children who resented their parents and were unhappy as children for being too lonely. I also think it would be good to have few enough children that a single parent can keep one hand on each child, or both parents together could carry all children. Therefore, two seems good.

~Branwyn
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#411696 - 02/08/10 02:33 PM Re: How many kids do YOU want? [Re: Branwyn]
Furrtiv Offline


Registered: 10/04/08
Posts: 112
Loc: Derbyshire, England
Nope, no kids for me thankyou! There's no way on earth anyone could persuade me to go through pregnancy and labour, only to be responsible for another human being. And, due to the influences you exert over that child, you are probably going to be responsible for its actions and the way it thinks for the rest of its life, not just until it reaches eighteen or twenty-one years of age.
I've had all sorts of insults levelled at me for being a woman who doesn't want children, but these days I just ignore such stupidity. As if it's not my choice whether to have kids, and how many? But yes, even in the vastly overpopulated UK, I am feeling the societal pressure to have kids. But i resist, because as far as I could see, they would never appear in my own future. I never even got broody as a younger woman when freinds had babies, all I could think of was "Well, there goes your individual identity - from now on you'll be (insert kid's name) mother. Not (insert your name) anymore."
Not for me.

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#411709 - 02/08/10 04:23 PM Re: How many kids do YOU want? [Re: Bill_M]
M.D. Roche Offline
Banned

Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 513
Loc: Albany, New York
Originally Posted By: Bill_M
I've seen some horrible reasons by the same demographic for intentionally having children. I've known women who tried getting pregnant to force a man into staying in the relationship with them. I've known couples who never really talked it through, and both just assumed that having children was what the other partner wanted. There's also pressure from "friends" and family members who want to be grandparents. And I've seen people who just assume that establishing a family was just the naturally next thing to do after getting a career and a house.


What really disturbs me are couples who think that having children will help save their marriage. Of course it doesn't and the child/ren ends up having to live through a divorce, which can lead to all sorts of other issues.
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#411711 - 02/08/10 04:51 PM Re: How many kids do YOU want? [Re: Bill_M]
Spelled Moon Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 12/25/08
Posts: 1691
Loc: Germany
I heard girl saying, that she wants to have a baby and it's about time, because almost all her ex-classmates from grammar school do have.

crazy

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#411714 - 02/08/10 04:57 PM Re: How many kids do YOU want? [Re: Spelled Moon]
M.D. Roche Offline
Banned

Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 513
Loc: Albany, New York
That reminds me of a movie when a woman goes to her high school reunion and sees that all of her classmates have big bellies. She makes the comment "Well, at least I'm not fat!" to which one of the girls replies "We're not fat, we're pregnant!"
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#411754 - 02/08/10 09:01 PM Re: How many kids do YOU want? [Re: Original Sly]
TheAbysmal Offline


Registered: 09/22/06
Posts: 1024
Zero for me. I have been happy my whole life without them, and I see no reason to potentially screw up a good thing.

And, beside that, I have good reason to fear any children I have could be born with deformity. While I think I have gotten along quite fine--most of my scars were emotional--I see so reason to subject a child to that needlessly.


Edited by Vitaeviternus (02/08/10 09:04 PM)
Edit Reason: Forgot the Deformity Part
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#411762 - 02/08/10 10:17 PM Re: How many kids do YOU want? [Re: Original Sly]
ArtAche86 Offline


Registered: 10/24/08
Posts: 380
Loc: Cthulhu's Bowels,Kentucky
Originally Posted By: Original Sly
If one believes himself to be the elite, to possess an intellect and abilities above the herd, should one procreate in order to populate the world with superior offspring?


If one feels compelled to do so,do so.And make the proper arrangements.
But know this first,no one is ever truly "ready" for their first child.You have NO clue.

As far as how many I want.
The one I have,and the one i'm having.
Two reasons:
1.)It will be 2028 when my daughter turns 18 and (hopefully) goes to college.That means I will be 42,and will then be able to take some time for myself and my significant other. a chance to finally walk naked around the house again. . .eating chilli
2.)With only two children,I know I can afford their needs,and can give significant direction to them in their lives.This is just the number that is right for me. I don't see how the Amish do it,aside from stating that farms need farmers,and they like 'em "home grown".

As far as purposely spawning the "alien elite". . .
I'm not going to push my children into anything.I will guide them,and protect them.But they will naturally become whatever it is they will become, of their own volition.
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#411766 - 02/08/10 10:37 PM Re: How many kids do YOU want? [Re: Original Sly]
Nammu Offline

CoS Member

Registered: 10/18/09
Posts: 402
Loc: Pacific NW
Zero kids for me and I am a female, too! I've ended relationships over this as there isn't a compromise.

I've never felt any "biological imperative" or "urge" to procreate. For me the imperative is to screw, adulterate and create grin.

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#411796 - 02/09/10 04:49 AM Re: How many kids do YOU want? [Re: Original Sly]
ruraldean Offline

CoS Member

Registered: 08/21/08
Posts: 227
Loc: England
I'm probably unusual on here, in that I have two children, both adults, and one of them is a member here (Warlock MJD). For the record, he introduced me to the CoS.

While it's true that children bring about lifestyle changes, it isn't necessarily for the worse - just different. I come from a fairly unemotional family and vowed that when I had children things would be different. My wife and I went through 13 years together (courtship and marriage) before we both wanted kids at the same time and started to plan our family. We were incredibly lucky to have a boy followed by a girl 2 years later.

Both kids had a period as teenagers which was not good, although the love endured, and now I feel as parents my wife and I are reaping the benefits. Both kids live away from home, but relatively local and we see them often. We still get together nearly every weekend and I'm proud of both of them.

Despite the restrictions that small children bring, I wouldn't change any of it, although if the downside of kids had been explained to me I probably wouldn't have had them. That would have been a huge mistake.

Although I feel I'm a relatively good communicator, I cannot explain the feeling of loving small beings, who in turn see you as their world. Neither can I explain how easy it would be to die for the protection of one's own children, without hesitation. I also believe that for some (although I speak only for myself here)the rearing of children brings an emotional roundness unattainable through any other means.

Making a decision not to have children is a very personal one. But it's difficult making a decision whilst only having half the information, and the subjective nature of the missing half only comes with actually having kids. Incredibly difficult, as there's no turning back once the positive decision to have children is made, but it can only really be judged by one's own experience, and then only after the fact.

Then again, perhaps it's true that you don't miss what you never had.
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#411849 - 02/09/10 10:48 AM Re: How many kids do YOU want? [Re: TheAbysmal]
JustinR Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 08/16/06
Posts: 1512
Loc: Newfoundland, Canada
My girlfriend has always wanted kids, but I think her mind is changing since she began working with autistic kids. She sees how difficult it can be raising an autistic child, and how it can impact the relationship of the parents. Now she seems very hesitant on parenthood.
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#411862 - 02/09/10 12:02 PM Re: How many kids do YOU want? [Re: M.D. Roche]
fire_vixen Offline


Registered: 08/31/07
Posts: 90
"I pity people who are around my age (24)--and any other age for that matter--whose lives have been complicated or ruined because they either didn't want to "wrap it up" or take birth control. In my opinion, this is the root of inner city crime. Women irresponsibly breed with several "baby's daddys", can't afford to live anywhere other than projects and ghettos, leech off of the welfare system, don't know shit about parenting and don't have a partner to help them. It's no wonder so many kids are joining gangs--they're literally the family they never had. Of course this isn't an excuse by any means, just something to consider."

It was shown that abortion was partially responsible for the reduction in crime rates. Since Roe vs. Wade decreed abortion to be legal, many women took advantage of this opportunity and as a result the kids who would have been the prime canditates for joining gangs were never born. The ability to have an abortion legally of tremendous benefit to those living in the ghettos, and in communities infested with drugs and crime. It is no wonder that kids born in that environment don't have much choice but to follow the footsteps of their parents. That is why not bringing these children into the world in the first place, as was enabled by abortion, was a great thing (both for these unborn children and society)

Source: Freakonomics

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#411864 - 02/09/10 12:19 PM Re: How many kids do YOU want? [Re: Original Sly]
fire_vixen Offline


Registered: 08/31/07
Posts: 90
As was said previously, just because you are a Satanist is no guarantee your kids will be Satanists, or intelligent or whatnot. Things are unpredictable that way.

As a kid I was told that I shouldn't lift my friends because that might ruin my ability to have children. So I lifted my friends!

My opinions on having children have changed a lot over the years. I think seeing them grow up, learn and develop their talents can be a very rewarding experience, but I don't know if it's for me. I wish I could get a child that is already 6-7 years old and begin raising it. I just don't want to deal with everything that comes before that. Adoption is a reasonable choice, but I also want the child to be mine, so I am kind of stuck.
Another factor that I am considering is the kind of parent I would be. I would feel sorry for the child unlucky enough to have me as its mother! My attitude towards caring for another being, and my lifestyle would not be good for the poor kid.
The best thing for me is probably not to have any children.

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#411865 - 02/09/10 12:19 PM Re: How many kids do YOU want? [Re: fire_vixen]
TrojZyr Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 07/25/01
Posts: 12990
Loc: The Solid State
Aye, and I don't think a lot of mainstream pro-lifers appreciate that concept. It seems that entirely too many pro-lifers are like the friends of the little red hen---everyone loves babies in theory, but no one wants to have to support those babies, especially if they are born with expensive, debilitating illnesses or disabilities, or are born to illegal aliens, or to single moms in the ghetto.



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#411869 - 02/09/10 12:52 PM Re: How many kids do YOU want? [Re: ruraldean]
Bill_M Offline
CoS Reverend

Registered: 07/28/01
Posts: 11560
Loc: New England, USA
Quote:
I'm probably unusual on here, in that I have two children, both adults

As I'm sure you know, there are a number of other members here with adult offspring. Though most of them stick to the members-only section.

Originally Posted By: ruraldean
While it's true that children bring about lifestyle changes, it isn't necessarily for the worse - just different.

In my experience, most of the parents who don't seem to have much of a life outside of parenting, were people who never had much of a social life to begin with. Likewise, many couples I've seen who had their own active hobbies, traveling, and other passions in life have still found a way to pencil time in for those things.

I'm quite happy that my own parents did have a life outside of parenting. They spent plenty of time with me and my siblings, but still got to enjoy plenty of time with their hobbies and spending time alone out for the occasional dinner, party, or vacation. Mostly it just meant leaving the party at midnight instead of 4 AM.
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