So, guess I probably should write an intro.
I'm 24 year old female located on the east-side of Australia in a small(hick)country town.
I am a single mother and am studying a double degree in criminology and forensics, and am also studying a Diploma in lanuages, doing a bachelor of arts (majouring in art-history) and also studying towards a diploma in business, as well as working part time doing admin for a small business and creating fine-art-graphite portraights for a small base of clients (usually by word of mouth). I have always been very ambitious and constantly bite off more than I can chew much to everyone's consternation, however I almost always end up doing it all anyway, even in the face of the general populace's disbelief.
I generally don't tell people I know in day to day life about all my projects as the common reaction is to tell me that I'm crazy and heading myself for burnout, or some have a tendency to become jealous and catty. What they don't realise is that anyone can do almost any of the things they wish to do only if they decide they are going to do it and work hard and apply some discipline, persistance and make sure they do what they love instead of investing in something they abhor. I haven't burnout yet and have been going at it since about the age of 8, always having yet another (or 5 or 6) projects going at once. I enjoy every moment of it - makes my life all the more exciting.
Now regarding my journey to this site... I grew up in a strict christian home and constantly upset my parents with my questioning. I left christianity in my early teen years and was excommunicated from their church and kicked out of home at 17 for my sacriligeous views.It probably didn't help at all that I was an arrogant prick and had turned my bible into a reference book of my own (cross-referencing it throughout and listing discreprencies between verses and Hebrew and Greek translations and early church father records etc...).
After being kicked out of home, I made some really fucked up choices because of my lack of preparation for the world - basically I had no idea what the real world was like, having lived in an isolated christian community for the first 17 years of life. One of my fucked up choices involved, marrying an absolute religious nut-headed arsehole at the age of 18 and by the age of 21, I'd had two of the most wonderful kids (fucked up choice but wonderful kids). Left that marriage a couple of years ago and have been creating myself ever since.
I stumbled upson Satanism a couple of months ago by accident really. I hadn't really known anything about Satanism before that except the rumours that satanists all performed "satanic ritual abuse". But being one who likes to know the ins and outs before I make an opinion on anything, I researched - looked over numerous websites, found a copy of The Satanic Bible at a local curio-bookstore and ordered "The Satanic Witch" and "Satanic Ritual". I've since place another order for a couple more books written by Anton LaVey but unfortunately will take awhile for it to come in as it's been ordered from the US.
I read "The Satanic Bible" in two days and was moved to finally find a name for what I'd been living since I was a child. I guess you could say that it was also very empowering and freeing for me to read this book.
I am a closet satanist. I prefer to keep it this way, as most people, especially my parents and siblings (one of my brother's is studying to become a minister) would not understand my way of life whatsoever and no doubt would feel it to be a personal attack. So it is unlikely that I'll ever tell anyone I know in my day-to-day life. Most people would never guess my beliefs and I tell most people (except my parents and siblings - they seem content in their knowledge that I'm a still a possible candidate to "accept" jesus into my heart again
and every time we talk they give me the run down) that I am atheist, and because I'm living in a country town,just saying that "I'm atheist" is frightening enough in itself to most and inconprehensible to many. Unlike a number of years ago, I no longer feel the need to prove myself to anyone; I'm happy with my life and where I'm going with it, and not everyone on earth has the capacity to understand or comprehend my journey. I do not wish to waste any moment of my time on those who cannot and will not understand my path - I would rather spend my time on getting on with my life and enjoying the moment.
I come on here to socialise with others who are of like mind. I get very little intelligent discussion in my day to day life and I tire of being unable to express my views without being looked at by some idiot who thinks that their way of thinking is the only way of thinking on earth. Looking forward to getting to know you all.