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#430283 - 08/27/10 10:24 AM Knowing me
Cresenne Offline


Registered: 08/25/10
Posts: 4
Loc: Nevada
Hello everyone,

I am happy to finally be on here and ask my own questions, and gain my own insight into what I feel. My fiancé Kirath had a post that I was confused, I still am. I know that I have asked him more questions in the last 24 hours, then anyone could ask in a lifetime.

I am still confused because I was brought up to believe certain things (I am talking about the christian faith), and what I should do and not do according to a book. I am very happy to say that I was always the rebel and never did what I was told to do, still don't. And I have always questioned. I would get so pissed when someone would not be able to answer a question that I had, or they would sit there and say "uuhhhhhh....because that is the way it is" or my favorite "because it says so". Well moron I can say that the sky is green, but does that make it so.

I know that some had a question if I had a problem calling myself a Satanist, no I do not. In fact I enjoyed the look on people’s faces when we were at the book store asking where we could find 'Satan Speaks' and 'The Devils Notebook'. And ironically I can not wait till the day that my father starts preaching to me (he is a so called reborn christian) about how I have to go to church more, or to my fiancé, and we tell him. I know the look will be priceless, and it will stir so much shit in my family (I have a uncle who is a pastor).

I have to say that thanks to my fiancé and to TSB I know longer question who I am.

I know who I am, I am me.

I know what I am, I am a strong individual.

Unknowingly I have lived my life by TSB, even though I have never heard of it before. I have never let anyone tell me what to do or how to do it. For those that might say that I did go to church once, I would have to tell them that I never respected church grounds the way it was expected of me. I smoked walking to the front doors, and after I entered them I questioned everything that was said.



But quite honestly I am still confused on what that makes me.


I welcome anyone’s input, comments, and suggestions.

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#430295 - 08/27/10 01:49 PM Re: Knowing me [Re: Cresenne]
Fnord Offline


Registered: 06/19/08
Posts: 211
Loc: Texas
Originally Posted By: Cresenne

But quite honestly I am still confused on what that makes me.


Confused, evidently.

Define or be defined. If you are a Satanist then you will have no trouble finding the courage to define yourself.

As for intentionally stirring the pot in your family relationships, I'd suggest reading about counterproductive pride before going too far down that path.

Other than that, good luck on your journey.

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#430298 - 08/27/10 02:11 PM Re: Knowing me [Re: Fnord]
Cresenne Offline


Registered: 08/25/10
Posts: 4
Loc: Nevada

Quote:
As for intentionally stirring the pot in your family relationships.


I would not intentionally 'stir the pot' in my family. But I see no reason to allow my family to think that I have found myself a good little christian boy. And I do not expect my boyfriend to sit there and let them think that. I was simpling implying that when they do start preaching I have absolutly no problems telling them that no matter how much they preach it will not help.
We are in charge of our own destiny. The path that we choose is the path that we are going to take.

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#430315 - 08/27/10 05:30 PM Re: Knowing me [Re: Cresenne]
Original Sly Offline


Registered: 09/10/09
Posts: 205
Loc: New Zealand
If you value your identity and the feeling of independance and autonomy more than you value a well-oiled, easily flowing family relationship, I say go ahead and let them know who you think you are (I say think because you're still confused).

But if you don't want disharmony in your family, which is very trying in any situation, let them believe what they want about you and your fiance. Hell, it might make your fiance's life easier if they think he's a good Christian boy. Maybe they'll accept him into the family quicker.

There's no shame in giving off an impression of something you're not. If they think you're a Christian, maybe they'll stop the preaching?
_________________________
"It stands to reason that where there's sacrifice, there's someone collecting sacrificial offerings" - Ellsworth Toohey, Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead p.637

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#430320 - 08/27/10 06:38 PM Re: Knowing me [Re: Cresenne]
Ygraine Offline

CoS Magistra

Registered: 07/11/01
Posts: 2849
Loc: Florida
Quote:
I know the look will be priceless, and it will stir so much shit in my family (I have a uncle who is a pastor).


Nice. When looking to make an acquaintance I always look for someone who demonstrates loyalty and integrity in their other meaningful relationships.

So...are you this warm and kind to all your family or just to those who you disagree with religiously?

Quote:
. For those that might say that I did go to church once, I would have to tell them that I never respected church grounds the way it was expected of me. I smoked walking to the front doors, and after I entered them I questioned everything that was said.


You're kidding, right? You think any Satanist gives a flying rat's behind about what takes place on church grounds? Do you think that land has some special meaning to us, or to Christians, or to anyone in reality? The only thing you've demonstrated is a LACK of Satanic rules! If you go to a Christian church you are to show proper respect or don't go. Your smoking to show rebellion isn't meaningful enough to even be silly.
Quote:
But quite honestly I am still confused on what that makes me.


I welcome anyone’s input, comments, and suggestions.


Jeez I wish you hadn't asked.

Based on your writing you are a Satanaflipperoo of the third degree. If you were a First degree we'd be forced to issue a public proclamation, so it could in fact be worse. Second degrees are pretty serious, too. Why they have to put all their death metal in storage and wear pink nail polish on their pinkies for a year before they are even allowed to read The Satanic Scriptures.
Third degrees are fairly common. They harbor silly fairytale ideas about devils and demons and church grounds and such. They think that being unable to fit in and breaking all the rules is the same thing as being an interesting individual. They flit about having meaningless confusion over which fairytale to align themselves with and believe that confusion makes them deep rather than delusional. They are common.

'food for thought,

Y~





Edited by Ygraine (08/27/10 06:39 PM)
_________________________
Magistra, Church of Satan/
Autocrat of the Damned





http://magistrayrainetwo.blogspot.com/

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#430334 - 08/27/10 08:32 PM Re: Knowing me [Re: Ygraine]
Cresenne Offline


Registered: 08/25/10
Posts: 4
Loc: Nevada
Ygraine,

As far as a meaningful relationship with my family, please allow me to clarify a couple of things, my family was extremely important to me until the point that they stabbed me in the back and cast me out for accepting and continuing a relationship with my brother, who they have all labeled "evil" according to their own needs and desires, among numerous other reasons. There exists no "meaningful" relationship that exists there despite my constant attempts otherwise for the past 9 years, and before that there was no relationship period.

So to assume that I am looking forward to "stirring the pot" and destroying meaningful relationships based simply on religous beliefs is rather judgemental. However, I suppose that is partly my fault for the lack of information in my initial post.

Without a meaningful relationship to begin with, and the fact that I no longer desire one because of the way I have been treated (4. Satan represents kindness to those that deserve it not love wasted on ingrates), it no longer matters to me what they think, therefore there is no reason for or against telling them what I think or believe as it will not change the (basically non-existant) relationship either way.


As far as the "smoking on church grounds" issue goes, I guess I should have taken the time to clarify things a bit more...I was forced to go to church, I was not there by choice, and as a teenager I refused to show respect to people who obviously didn't respect me enough to consider my opinions. As I have grown up and matured I have come to see the importance of accepting the views of others regardless of whether I agree with them or not and showing them the respect that is deserved. So smoking on the grounds of a church was something that I did in rebellion as a child, and something I would refrain from doing now out of respect for the views of people that have done nothing against me.

As for your input and comments, I suppose that is my own fault for asking for them, but since I did, and since you obliged, I do not believe that breaking all the rules makes me interesting.

I am interesting as I am and not because of what I do. I do not break rules as a means to define myself but rather ignore those rules that are meaningless to me simply because they can not possibly have any impact on my life.

I have not titled myself as a Satanist currently. If I am fine, if I am not and I am just common that is fine also. I am who I am and that is all that I am.

My confusion stems mainly from the fact that I have never really had a reason to sit down and contemplate the subject. I have always been to busy with other things (being a dumb kid, working, raising my own kids, and generally living life) to waste time trying to find a "label" that fits me. I don't need a label to define who I am and I am not looking for one now. This journey started simply from the desire to better understand my fiance and his views.

Hopefully this clarifies some of my earlier posting and I still look forward to all input and comments.


Edited by Cresenne (08/27/10 08:34 PM)

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#430355 - 08/27/10 11:53 PM Re: Knowing me [Re: Cresenne]
Unknown Offline
Unknown

Registered: 03/31/05
Posts: 1649
Quote:

As far as a meaningful relationship with my family, please allow me to clarify a couple of things, my family was extremely important to me until the point that they stabbed me in the back and cast me out for accepting and continuing a relationship with my brother, who they have all labeled "evil" according to their own needs and desires, among numerous other reasons. There exists no "meaningful" relationship that exists there despite my constant attempts otherwise for the past 9 years, and before that there was no relationship period.


Good evening. Please note that I am not a spokesman for the Church of Satan as Magistra Ygraine is. But I would like to offer my personal take since you asked for public opinion.
If it were me I really wouldn't even give them the opportunity to know that I am a Satanist. Here's why.

1.) I am a God and could give two fucks who knows I am a Satanist or not. I would say that those who know I am a Satanist are very few and far between. Those who do know should consider themselves lucky as I have invested enough trust into them to share such a thing with. I also consider myself lucky in that I have those few close enough to me that I can trust. Really the title "Satanist" has enough negative ramifications without assholes using it as a tool to piss people off. I have found the most effective way to deal with people I don't like is to IGNORE them. If you can't do that then it sounds like you have more than enough on your plate already. Bringing Satanism into idiotic drama does nothing but make you like like a 3 year old and since these idiots have no idea what Satanism is they are looking to you and see the philosophy as such.

The Church of Satan has existed for over 44 years and in that 44 years it has dealt with every idiot you could imagine. So your little petty bitchy immature drama is in no way going to harm Satanism for what it really is. What it will do is cause more negative consequences for yourself and make you look like an ass.

So in my opinion you'd be doing a huge favor if you just worked on the situation from a whole other angle. Read Anton LaVey's The Satanic Witch. It has incredible insight on handling people. I have learned A LOT from this book.

Here are a couple readily available articles you'd enjoy:

Rebels Without a Cause by High Priest Gilmore.

The Church of Satan and People by Magister Svengali.


Quote:
I know that some had a question if I had a problem calling myself a Satanist, no I do not. In fact I enjoyed the look on people’s faces when we were at the book store asking where we could find 'Satan Speaks' and 'The Devils Notebook'. And ironically I can not wait till the day that my father starts preaching to me (he is a so called reborn christian) about how I have to go to church more, or to my fiancé, and we tell him. I know the look will be priceless, and it will stir so much shit in my family (I have a uncle who is a pastor).


Quite interesting that you say this in your next post;
Quote:
I have not titled myself as a Satanist currently.


So why proclaim yourself something you are not?

I think this will only stir up shit and you have no idea what you are even doing.
_________________________









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#430358 - 08/28/10 12:35 AM Re: Knowing me [Re: Unknown]
Cresenne Offline


Registered: 08/25/10
Posts: 4
Loc: Nevada
Unknown,



First I did not say one time that I was a Satanist and then turn around the next and say that I am not. I said that I would hove no problem saying that I was a Satanist if I was one.

Second I am done trying to explain myself to a bunch of people that I do not know. I will not sit here and listen to people pick apart everything that I say. So far all I see is a bunch of hypocritical people. You say that Satanism is about being yourself and not allowing people to tell you who you are and who you are not, but that is all that anyone has done since I have been on this site.

I know that Satanist have a bad rep with society because of the name. Hell I never really heard of it til my fiance said that he was one, but I like to think that I am a little out of the norm because instead of the reaction that he expected from me, I decided to read about it to understand what he believes in. I am guessing that right now the best course for me would be to read more about it to get a better understanding, and stop asking people that I do not know.

At least I know that a book will not sit there and nit pick every last word that I say. At least I know that I will have my fiance by my side to answer any future questions that I may have along my journey.

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#430365 - 08/28/10 01:10 AM Re: Knowing me [Re: Cresenne]
I'mPerfecting Offline


Registered: 02/03/08
Posts: 221
Loc: Florida
The greatest teacher is life, and the lessons we learn from it.

Only you can know what is best for you.
Barking up someone else's tree to tell you that, is how religious crutches, and dependencies happen.

Be glad the members of this site did you such a favor.
Now you know.
Even if it isn't the answer you where hoping for.
It is still the answer to your inquiry.

Be happy you have learned this lesson now rather than later.
Hail Satan crossbones
_________________________
"...And the truth that makes us laugh, will make you cry!"
"...Porcelain in a paper cup world."
~Almost Alice~

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#430371 - 08/28/10 02:50 AM Re: Knowing me [Re: Cresenne]
MagisterRose Offline
CoS Magister

Registered: 05/21/03
Posts: 2405
Quote:
I am guessing that right now the best course for me would be to read more about it to get a better understanding, and stop asking people that I do not know.


Exactly.
_________________________
Empty heads babble the most.

The good die young... because they see it's no use living if you've got to be good.
John Barrymore

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HARDCOVER KASIDAH

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