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#444890 - 02/11/11 03:14 PM Re: Realization of Intelligence as a child? [Re: Liberterius]
Furrtiv Offline

Registered: 10/04/08
Posts: 112
Loc: Derbyshire, England
Hm, my university experience obviously differs from the US versions, as we simply opted for one subject to study - you didn't have to do both a major and a minor, you could do either a single degree or a combined degree, but you still got to choose.

School was a nightmare for me, but I loved some things - art was my best subject, followed closely by both English literature and English language, and graphic design - before computers! - was great fun. I just love making accurate diagrams and technical drawings with nothing but pencils, rulers, potracters and paper.

Maths was, and still is, the subject that most lets me down. I absolutely loathe it, cannot grasp some of the most basic concepts, and have dyscalculia, so numbers sometimes appear backwards and often don't have any value to them. Certain numbers in combination, especially with mathematical symbols, look like nothing more than fancy squiggles. So all my maths teachers thought I was mildly retarded, whereas my English and art teachers would rave about my prowess. Oddly enough, the concepts of physics appeal to me and I can often grasp them quite rapidly, but lacking maths skills, I can't explore training or a career in the field.

But art is my passion. I can draw anything. It's absolute, pure instinct, and even though art degrees and various courses, books, etc, all claim to be able to teach you how to do art, including how to see things the way an artist does, to me they just fail. I've been trying to teach a subordinate how to "see", and also how to interpret an image before him, all to no avail. He simply doesn't get it, and I can't put him into my head so that he can see what and how I see, and interpret things the way I can. It's virtually an unconscious thing that is an intrinsic part of my being.

Just don't ask me to do maths, particularly not in my head!

Anyhoo, school was weird; I was both a genius and a retard, I guess, but only to other people. To me, I was well, just me. I have problems relating to other humans at the best of times, and a suspicion I have a very mild form of autism, so being aloof and cold towards the other kids at school probably helped to make it even more hellish.

As for when I discovered my Satanic self, well, that was only a year or so ago.

#444928 - 02/11/11 10:07 PM Re: Realization of Intelligence as a child? [Re: Furrtiv]
Bill_M Offline
CoS Magister

Registered: 07/28/01
Posts: 11651
Loc: New England, USA
Originally Posted By: Furrtiv
Hm, my university experience obviously differs from the US versions, as we simply opted for one subject to study - you didn't have to do both a major and a minor,

US colleges in general don't require both a major and a minor. Different schools all have different ideas on what's "best" for the students. That's why there are thousands and thousands of them in the US. They certainly don't all have the same requirements.

Maths was, and still is, the subject that most lets me down. I absolutely loathe it, [...] But art is my passion.

I think I just felt a slight rumble from the graves of Dürer, Escher, and Mandelbrot. zombie
Reverend Bill M. Carnal Comedy Clips, Netherworld Novelty Numbers,
New hour every week. Download the mp3 now! Tales of Combat Clutter and other Adventures

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#444947 - 02/12/11 02:45 AM Re: Realization of Intelligence as a child? [Re: anna]
LightAngel Offline

Registered: 09/10/05
Posts: 1738
Loc: Scandinavia
If a student have university-trained parents, then they are often very good in school because of their environment. My husband is a good example of that because his father was a professor, and his mother a doctor.

There is of course exceptions. If you have passion for school, or at least is interested in school, then you will often be good too.

My parents was business people, and they both had their own firms, so my environment was very different than my husband. Even though my father had his own bookstore, they didn't force me to read if I didn't feel like it ( I have to admit that I'm actually a very good, and fast reader wink ) but they had a very relaxed relationship to my education.

They just wanted me to be happy.

I was free to be whatever I wanted to be, academic or not, they just wanted me to have passion for something.

#444959 - 02/12/11 10:24 AM Re: Realization of Intelligence as a child? [Re: Liberterius]
Furrtiv Offline

Registered: 10/04/08
Posts: 112
Loc: Derbyshire, England
Bill_M, I understand that maths can be intrinsic to types of art, but I hit stumbling blocks when I try to use it. Escher is one of my favourite artists and I could never attempt to do what he did. It's just a strange paradox that I enjoyed technical drawing, although I had to concentrate extremely hard to make the numbers needed for it work in my brain. I had to get other people to help me with calculations and to check my measurements.

#445001 - 02/12/11 09:08 PM Re: Realization of Intelligence as a child? [Re: Liberterius]
womanking Offline

Registered: 11/16/10
Posts: 10
Loc: Wisconsin
Growing up, I was a very shy girl, so I guess excelling in school gave me the attention I craved, attention I couldn’t get from my peers. I was always considered the “teacher’s pet,” and redeemed the title of “Student of the Month” every year in elementary school, usually every September when classes resumed. Being a twin also helped me do my best, seeing as I was always in competition with my sister.

My reading level was always higher than the other students’, and my spelling was exceptional. I probably would have mastered the spelling bees if it weren’t for my stage fright. Math always came easy, and my handwriting was very neat- I remember my 2nd grade teacher asking me to write down announcements for the class since mine was the most legible.

I was never forced into completing my homework, I just did it. I always aimed for perfection, which made me fumble tremendously in high school. Skipping school was a weekly thing for me in my teen years- I spent so much time on assignments that I began to fall behind in every subject. The days I missed would be spent catching up on homework.

Art class and creative writing were always my top priorities- I remember staying up all night just to finish a simple drawing for my weekly sketchbook assignment. My teacher told me it had to be at least an hour’s worth of work- I made it 6. My creative writing teacher told me of my potential to win contests. He said the fluidity and detail of my works were amazing. But I was never in school enough to participate.

I barely graduated high school. In fact, I almost dropped out. Senior year I quit going to my classes. The school’s psychologist sent me books and assignments in order to complete my credits. I also took classes online.

I guess my point is that I had so much potential, but my lack in time management interfered. Other than that, I was always brighter than most. I look back on all this now and wish I would have enrolled in a 4-year college after graduating. I just couldn’t bear the stress anymore. This summer many of my fellow students will be graduating with degrees already. Personally though, I take more pride in painting what I want, or writing about my life rather than taking orders from teachers. I guess I really don’t need a degree to define my talents. I am more passionate in my creations when I am not monitored and graded.

I am just now realizing that I don’t have to feel worthless about not continuing my education. I know I have potential, I just have to find a way to use it!
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth." -Thoreau

#445022 - 02/13/11 03:48 AM Re: Realization of Intelligence as a child? [Re: Liberterius]
Insurgent Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 08/08/01
Posts: 2331
I don't spend a lot of time gauging my intelligence, but I find very few things I'm interested in or need that I can't understand.

Public school:

I used to have a bit of a chip on my shoulder about my experiences but I don't anymore. Suffice it to say it was a fucking nightmare. I hated every miserable moment of it. I would have been better off if my parents had yoinked me out of it by about the 4th grade and focused exclusively on history, literature and arts, which are the areas I excel at now and did so then.

Ironically, this was the advice "experts" gave to fend off school administrators. The administrators were convinced I needed ample doses of amphetamine duplexes coursing through my veins to learn my times tables.

What a bunch of head butchers.

I was a retard at math and still am; big deal. I can learn the entirety of all the formulas I'll ever need for undergraduate level math courses in two weeks and then forget them in a month. I don't retain it, despite my best effort, and have accepted that unlike the other intellectuals in my family I will not pursue doctoral level sciences.

I had "college level" reading skills and vocabulary by 3rd grade. It instantly set me apart. Other children thought it was freakish that I spoke like an orator.

Those people are now adults that can still barely comprehend High School level literature.

Score one for the home team.

"My dear Insurgent you're an extremist, intolerant and you have prejudices. That's all."

"I am a fucking Satanist and desire in all of my being to be the Queen of the World if at all possible...."

#445025 - 02/13/11 04:26 AM Re: Realization of Intelligence as a child? [Re: Liberterius]
Jack_Lantern Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 07/06/05
Posts: 2785
Loc: America
I was repeatedly punished for not doing homework, for not reading along with the rest of the class, and for being a smart-ass. I didn't study beyond reading the elementary school textbooks once, I didn't read along because everyone read too slow, making waiting for them a total bore. All I wanted to do was go home, play video games, and read the books I found to be actually informative and entertaining. My teachers wanted to advance me several grade levels, even though I I got poor grades, because they felt the reason my grades were so poor was because I was bored (I got D's in math, but I was also tutoring younger students, hyuck!), but my parents refused, they didn't want me to be friendless or an outcast, not realizing that I didn't like my peers, didn't want to be their friends, and was already an outcast, oh the irony.

Anyway, yeah, public education sucks. It would still be useful if America was a manufacturing economy, but we aren't, so now it is soul crushing, broken, and obsolete. Hurray!
"If a man empties his purse into his head no one can take it away from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest." -Benjamin Franklin

#445026 - 02/13/11 05:19 AM Re: Realization of Intelligence as a child? [Re: Liberterius]
Hedonist Offline

Registered: 01/21/09
Posts: 108
Loc: Australia
I'm going to join the 'suck at maths' chorus - I remember early on thinking 'I don't need to know this, and why do I need to know the times tables when I have this thing called a CALCULATOR'. I regret dismissing the alphabet in the same way - even now I need to run through it fast when trying to look something up.

I was definitely smarter than the other kids and gravitated towards adults for as long as I can remember, but smart enough to not show it off too much to become the target of idiot bullies (I actually organized the bullies into a 'police force' by giving them rank and titles and leading patrols around the school ground to 'keep order' by attacking other kids who were fighting until the principal put a stop to it).

My parents actually took away a book I loved to read as a very young child called 'the Mind' (time life library) - they thought my extreme interest in the subject matter to be alien and disturbing.

Long story short, I was probably more cunning and manipulative than academically brilliant as a child, though I excelled at writing and drama.

I do find the common thread (for the most part) of being mathmatically challenged an interesting one..
"Here and now is our day of joy! Here and now is our opportunity! Choose ye this day, this hour, for no redeemer liveth!"

#445028 - 02/13/11 05:52 AM Re: Realization of Intelligence as a child? [Re: Liberterius]
Spelled Moon

During my earlier school years, I haven't been paying special attention to how "bright" I was in comparison to others, because almost all kids in classroom had been somehow bright. Since my age of 10, I have been attending classes for the talented children (Math was my specialization) and sensing it like something 'normal'.

Because, whenever I felt better than other kids around, then showed my success or observation off to my parents, they said that my success was not a surprise and I better compared myself with the more experienced ones that I encountered, and not the worse ones.
And I stopped showing off my successes and celebrating my exceptionality. Their attitude has been something to praise and also blame them for, at the same time. But, the approach itself is useful for life and I have adopted it.

So, over years, I have fully understood the meaning of: 'Who is more competent to praise you, than yourself?' wink And satisfaction with the self has become the deepest reward.

And just later, I have understood that I had been 'slightly' different kid than average ones outside my collective.

A talented kid between talented kids, who had her brighter and darker moments.

But I don't build my pride only on my past. A manner of handling of the current mind-breaking situations is what matters. Currently, I've plenty of them, the time to catch up and they try to grow over my head.

But I am not going to let them. smile

#445029 - 02/13/11 06:39 AM Re: Realization of Intelligence as a child? [Re: Liberterius]
Zaftig Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 09/23/06
Posts: 3415
They were moments where I knew that I understood something better (either in terms of the reality of the situation or the conceptual framework in which it was happening), but as a child I never qualified that as "intelligence".

One of my earliest memories for this sort of thing was witnessing my mother overreact to something (though I cannot remember what), noticing the behaviour and identifying it as an overreaction. It was sobering, actually. It made me feel very aware of the world. Suddenly I am not an insular and protected child oblivious to the faults of her parents, but instead I am someone exposed, vulnerable to the irrational motivations of my adult-protector.

In school I was similarly insightful to people's secret and unacknowledged motivations, but I cannot say whether this translated into good grades. I hated school for the most part, and dropped out when I was 14 years old to work as a nanny.

Now, in university pursuing graduate studies in the social sciences, this ability serves me very well. I am rewarded for insightful commentary into people and their underlying drives.

As a related aside, because I have found that people react to my voiced observations on them negatively, sometimes aggressively, I wonder about my own desire to study people in a formal and objective manner; academia is much less personal than individual to individual. Less hazardous also.

#445054 - 02/13/11 02:09 PM Re: Realization of Intelligence as a child? [Re: Liberterius]
Delta Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 12/18/07
Posts: 6756
Loc: Nar
The earliest bit is one I don't remember- Apparently I was forming sentences under the age of 1 with an abnormally large vocabulary. My parents tell me at one point a kid pointed and stared and told his mother, "Mom! That baby is talking!"

I was best at math at first, which my parents taught me at home in addition to schoolwork. This annoyed my first grade teacher when she taught subtraction and tried to trip us up by asking if you could subtract 5 from 3. Everyone said no and I said -2. The teacher said I was wrong and we argued and I got in big trouble. I don't know why she said I was wrong instead of saying we weren't working on that yet, but it was kind of a harbinger of things to come. I was doing variables and algebra when I was in 2nd grade, but I wasn't talking about it at school anymore.

In the rest of school I did all the gifted programs and advanced classes. My parents never let me skip grades because they thought it would hinder me socially, which was really a non-issue because everyone hated me anyway for using words like "intriguing" and "unremarkable" which I'd learned watching Star Trek and reading Calvin and Hobbes. The advanced classes kept me interested for a short while but when the school ran out of advanced math in 7th grade, they stopped teaching me advanced math and made me go back about 5 years to shit I didn't care about. From that point on I failed nearly every math class because I just didn't care anymore, and now I suck at math like everyone else. I doubt I could even do long division if I tried. They also put an end to letting me audit 12th grade science and pick my own books for English. The teacher who had let me do both got fired, I don't know if his departure was related to the special treatment he gave me, but it certainly ended with him.

After I got kicked out of that school (For always getting picked on, it was tuition based so it was more cost effective to boot the victim than the numerous paying bullies) my parents enrolled me in something called the IB Program which was supposed to be a utopian realm of unbridled education on anything we wanted without any busywork or lack of attention for students to learn at their own rate. It was in fact, all busy work and strictly bound to a curriculum no different from the common AP class, just with harsher grading. I got straight As for a year (And really loved Government and Law class where we held a mock senate and got to filibuster) then dropped out of the program. It was kind of like a horse getting beaten harder to run the same speed. I also began skipping classes in general and I think I saw maybe 5 days worth of class for my last 2 months as a senior. I ended high school with an high GPA, some honor classes and some classes like "Math for the Football Team". I'd figured if I wasn't going to learn I was going to relax, which I did fairly happily and got away with it.

College was more of the same and I left before graduating, which I don't regret given the utter worthlessness of the degree I was after. Basically I took the classes I wanted to learn from instead of the ones that would let me graduate. Everyone had to take at least one "Core" class per semester so I had one worthless shit-heap every time and eventually just stopped going to them. Once I gave up on graduating I learned a lot from the professors and library and the few classes I was allowed to take in my field of interest. Eventually those ran out so I left.

And since this is the thread for it, most of my childhood IQ tests and all the legitimate ones I've taken as an adult have all put me at exactly 144, one point short of genius. Great title for an autobiography.

#445055 - 02/13/11 02:25 PM Re: Realization of Intelligence as a child? [Re: Liberterius]
Shade Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 07/08/06
Posts: 6135
Loc: A Trailer Park
I don't remember the "other kids" much. Don't have a clue how I fared compared to them. I was off in my own little world.

Still am. grin
"What happens in the shadow, in the grey regions, also interests us – all that is elusive and fugitive, all that can be said in those beautiful half tones, or in whispers, in deep shade." ~ The Brothers Quay

We're Just Regular People

#445061 - 02/13/11 05:11 PM Re: Realization of Intelligence as a child? [Re: Shade]
Entity Offline

CoS Reverend

Registered: 03/23/02
Posts: 1774
Loc: Avalon UK
That's a straightforward reply and one I can relate to.

I spent much of my childhood extracting noises from inanimate objects, by bashing, stroking, flicking and massaging until I heard something appealing.

My elderly aunt often tells me of how many hours I spent as a two year old turning dials and pushing buttons on her short wave radio to create "songs". And so it was that I spent most of my formative years alienating other people with peculiar electronic noises.

Later, when other kids were studying hard to become mediocre academics, I was utterly consumed by synthesizers and sequencers. I could never understand why nobody else was even remotely interested, so isolation became normal and preferable.

Like you, I love my own little world. coopdevil
~ Reverend Entity

Nothing is better than to live according to one's taste. - François Villon

Test Everything. Believe Nothing.

#445062 - 02/13/11 05:35 PM Re: Realization of Intelligence as a child? [Re: Entity]
Quaark Offline

CoS Reverend

Registered: 08/22/03
Posts: 8930
According to my Mom, the third word I ever spoke (after 'momma' and "dada'), was 'stupid'.

I was in a high chair eating my baby mush, and a commercial was on TV.

I pointed excitedly at the screen, and said over and over...


I'd watch the shows I liked quite happily, but anytime a commercial came on, it was "STUPID STUPID STUPID!!!"

Judgmental little bugger even then. coopdevil

Then, when I was about four, after learning a friend of the family was in school to become a doctor, I drew an elaborate anatomical diagram explaining how the process of urination worked.

It involved levers and pulleys and tubes and pistons and electrical circuits and what-not. I presented it for confirmation and was most disappointed to learn I wasn't even close, but got points for originality and inventiveness. crazy

#445063 - 02/13/11 05:52 PM Re: Realization of Intelligence as a child? [Re: Quaark]
Entity Offline

CoS Reverend

Registered: 03/23/02
Posts: 1774
Loc: Avalon UK
You should come and live in England. Original ways to "take the piss", (mock the stupid), are a national pastime. witch
~ Reverend Entity

Nothing is better than to live according to one's taste. - François Villon

Test Everything. Believe Nothing.

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