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#451763 - 05/11/11 02:37 PM Introduction
Teufelhund Offline


Registered: 05/10/11
Posts: 118
Loc: Kansas
Hello to all.

I've been lurking around the LTTD message board for years, but I never officially registered due to the fact that I never felt like a 100% Satanist until recently.

My back story is similar to a lot of people here who have posted before me. I was born and raised Christian, and made to feel that a big scary sky being was watching and judging my every move. After leaving home to join the military I sought out various religions to answer life’s precious questions. I realized after a few years that the questions I had been asking, and the answers that I had been receiving, were equally pointless. I then decided to basically quit looking and live my life.

About four or five years ago, I again got the itch to do some “soul searching”. The only religion that I hadn’t bothered researching was Satanism. I think it was more inner fear than anything that kept me from looking into it. I had denounced my Christianity, but something inside kept saying “What if?” I bought and read The Satanic Bible, and patiently waited to see if the big scary sky being would hit me with lightning. When that didn’t happen, I was finally able to let that inner fear pass away. I enjoyed reading Anton LaVey’s thoughts on what he defined as Satanism. I identified with those thoughts, but there was still something holding me back from being able to fully accept that as being the type of person that I am.

Last week I took the finals for my college class titled Religions of the World. Throughout the course I learned about various religious beliefs, and why on earth people believe the way they do. The last week of course material covered cults and religious sects. One of the “cults” listed for research was Satanism. I quickly picked the topic, because I knew if one of the Christians in my class got a hold of it their postings would be horribly slanted. The topic made me want to revisit The Satanic Bible, and I read it cover to cover once again. In my answering of classmate’s questions I realized that I had a better understanding of Satanism than I did four or five years ago. I even managed to make one of the holy folks accept that LaVey actually had a point with the 11 Satanic Rules of the Earth.

So just like my brother can’t help but realize that he prefers dudes…I can’t help but realize that I am a Satanist. I am looking forward to learning more, and occasionally chiming in with a solicited opinion.

Hail Satan!

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#451773 - 05/11/11 06:14 PM Re: Introduction [Re: Teufelhund]
Nemo Offline
CoS Magister

Registered: 10/06/02
Posts: 13219
Loc: Point Nemo s48:52:31:748, w123...
Quote:
I bought and read The Satanic Bible, and patiently waited to see if the big scary sky being would hit me with lightning. When that didn’t happen, I was finally able to let that inner fear pass away.


Yes. Getting free of the visceral belief in a Big Parent in the sky who will punish you for disobedience is not a small part of what this is all about. This is also why performing a ceremonial ritual as a Satanist for the first time and still not getting "hit with lightning" can be quite liberating.

The same small child we all once were can be afraid of the dark and feel intimidated by the adult giants he remembers. To stand up straight in a darkened ritual chamber and declare yourself as you are, as your own God, addresses this deep-set part of the mind and is also a declaration of adult maturity.

Congratulations on your insights and welcome to the board.

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#451778 - 05/11/11 06:29 PM Re: Introduction [Re: Teufelhund]
Esiaba Offline



Registered: 05/10/11
Posts: 10
Loc: Nebraska
You are a very eloquent writer. I too am new to this and had the very same feelings as you, but from a socialogical stand point. I felt that if I even said what I was thinking, fealing, desiring; I would have some sort of retribution from some unknown entity. Guess what? It will not happen.
_________________________
What you thought was freedom is not freedom.

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#451782 - 05/11/11 07:24 PM Re: Introduction [Re: Teufelhund]
Kernel Offline


Registered: 04/20/11
Posts: 81
Loc: Nothern Europe
I just felt alone for the first time I "realized" so to say. It was like feeling alone in the world, not that I believed in anything but myself at the time, but still.. I didn't wait for some kind of retribution, but it was, I don't know. It just was, and then it passed.
_________________________
"It's not what we were or what we will be, it is what we are now that makes all the difference and the potential we have at this moment to become even greater."

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#451822 - 05/12/11 01:05 PM Re: Introduction [Re: Teufelhund]
Teufelhund Offline


Registered: 05/10/11
Posts: 118
Loc: Kansas
Magister Nemo,

I completely agree with you in regard to a feeling of liberation. Pounding my chest and declaring independence from once deeply held imaginary beliefs feels fantastic. I know that I have become an even better person as a result of accepting that my fate is in my own two hands. I am more driven than I once was, and know that my successes or failures are ultimately the result of my actions alone. I prefer it that way.

I greatly appreciate your comments and warm welcome.

--

Esiaba and Kernel,

I thank you as well for your comments and experiences. The day I recognized that my idea of God was a lie, was an interesting day for me also. Before that point, no matter what I believed, there seemed to be at least the possibility of a higher power being present. Afterward I was so pissed off that I had wasted so much time trying to find truth in false information, that I resented everyone that had any sort of religious influence upon me as a child and young adult. Now I feel sorry for them. As they continue through life working toward a salvation that will never come, they are wasting precious time that could be spent making this life wonderful and fulfilling.

It sounds like a lot of us take the very same path and reach the very same understanding. Thanks again for the conversation.

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#451825 - 05/12/11 02:00 PM Re: Introduction [Re: Teufelhund]
WolfMoon Offline


Registered: 04/03/06
Posts: 735
Greetings and welcome to Hell! coopdevil

HS!

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#451857 - 05/13/11 06:09 AM Re: Introduction [Re: Teufelhund]
Teufelhund Offline


Registered: 05/10/11
Posts: 118
Loc: Kansas
Thank you Lucifuge

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