I decided to join this forum because I enjoy reading through threads, and I also like to ask questions from time to time. I want to learn more, and that's why I'm here.
I consider myself a late bloomer, as I did not discover Satanism until I was 30 years old. By that time, I'd done quite a lot of religious researching and had come to my own conclusion that I was an atheist. Reading about religion and spirituality was entertaining to me, serving as good reading while taking a soak in the bath, but it didn't go far beyond that for me. I did visit a few alternative churches and such, but moved on. I always felt like I could see what others could not, and I always wondered why some things that were so clear to me were unseen by the people around me.
My first encounter with true Satanism was via the Church of Satan
website. It was my way of facing a great fear and also succumbing to my innate curiosity. Prior to that, my only experiences with "satanism" were in my youth- kids who actually believed in the devil, did a lot of drugs, and were extremely cruel to everyone, most especially the people they loved the most. Naturally, I was repelled by these values. When I finally visited the Church of Satan
website, I couldn't stop reading. What I found there was what I had already determined for myself. It was an explanation for why all those other religions never resonated with me, why I could see so clearly what others couldn't or wouldn't. My troublesome dark side could come out of hiding and bloom, because the qualities which had always set me apart from my peers were in actuality very strong survival instincts.
Since then, I've read quite a bit of Satanic literature, including the Satanic Bible and the Satanic Scriptures. I've also done a lot of social experimenting. When I discovered Satanism I knew it was something I wanted to approach with care, not something I just wanted to jump into. I didn't want to introduce myself into a forum of any kind until I was quite sure of my strengths and weaknesses from the perspective of this newly acquired understanding of Satanism.
I feel like I'm still learning, and I still want to approach Satanism with care. That is how I treat everything I cherish. I like to take things very, very slowly. I like to examine things from all angles. I want to be very careful about how I commit myself, because my life is precious to me. I have a lot of thoughts/feelings/interests that seem to conflict with one another but in a way that I find very satisfying. I really like to get to the root of things, and I will spend a very long time doing so if that is what is required.
So, basically, I'm here to read threads, ask a few questions, and occasionally post on a topic of interest. I'm not an official member of the Church of Satan
, but it is a possibility that I often consider. I'm currently very interested in family life, history, cooking soul food, making my own skin care, writing, feminism, creating my image, photography, wilderness, and the magic of words. Also, I am extremely enamored with the idea of making an art out of living. I haven't been too interested in having power over other humans, because I prefer to spend my time with free thinkers, but lately I'm beginning to understand the practical value of empowering myself in this way. I do have a very strong practical side, but I also tend to be very romantic. This slows my evolution somewhat, but I'm okay with that. In my opinion, its better for each person to be true to themselves, grow and learn at the rate and manner which is best for each. The world would be boring if everyone was the same.
So, that's a bit of me, and I hope I've been thorough and accurate. Maybe there's more, but I don't want to give it all away in one post!!! Take care!