"Well, my preference is for ancient Roman Bacchanalia, but that has run out of fashion these days. So now I just go with repressive Protestantism, because it matches my tasteful leather shoes."

Now that you mention it, I have seem some nice movies of the Spanish Inquisition questioning suspected witches. Questioning them hard. Those very authentic looking young blonde witches. Old school Catholicism.

And a Witchfinder General who looks like Vincent Price.

Indeed.

I hear ya.

In fact, next time someone hot asks me about it I am going to lament the loss of ancient Isis worship, and suggest a revival of yonic ritual adoration.

I don't think it's ever come up in conversations unless I brought it up, which I rarely do. I often claim to be a Pastafarian if people are taking a census as anyone who knows the term will get a good idea of my religious views without having to say the S word. Anyone else will simply think "lol wut".

The only people who have ever me asked outright are evangelicals. To the end of making these conversations as short as possible I spent some time training myself to recognize who was who. If I'm not in the mood to speak at all I just walk on or ask them to leave me alone, if I am in the mood for it I might engage them in debate by asking why they take their morals from a book claiming rape victims deserve to be executed.

But the benefit of knowing who's asking- If they ask you if you died today would you go to heaven, they're usually Plymouth Brethren and will leave you alone if you tell them you learned where in Bible College. If they ask if you've "been saved" around here they're almost always Catholic and a simple "Yes Sir I have!" will rid you of them. Jehovahs ask the same way but I've never run into one here. If they're on bikes in blue suits they're Mormons and can be dismissed by asking them which ward they attend and then telling them you're taken care of.

Note- The Mormon bit doesn't work as well if they find you drinking or smoking in a Cradle of Filth shirt that says "Jesus is a Cunt". But then, they probably won't be asking if they can speak to you about him.

Yes. I told them my lovely girlfriend, I worship the ground she walks on.

Yes it did.

I guess the REALLY witty answer would be, "I'd prefer you didn't ask," but as you know, I'm not witty.

Not sure how it is in other countries but in Canada it's "The military is your religion" in boot camp they don't care what faith you are, you don't get time off because of it. The only accommodations they allow you is meals (vegetarian or none) and headdress. They don't give Muslims time off to pray in boot camp and the men get kicked out if they take issue with taking orders from or working with women, gay people or people of a different race/religion.

That's a good answer. I like reading responses like this because I would like my country to consider improving their combat strength to meet or exceed the Spartans when they fought the Persians.



It's the other way around in the United States the last time I heard from a close friend who's been in for ten years. He used his time during the church's worship service to write letters when he was in Army BCT.

Sadly, I have had to explain what "atheist" means more than a few times. Even worse, several of those who needed clarification held masters degrees.

I have different answers depending on whose asking and the response I want to evoke with my answer.

At work I allow most of my co-workers to assume I am a Christian like them, because it keeps them out of my hair. The one person at work that knows I am an atheist came about when we unexpectantly ran into each other at Richard Dawkin’s “The Magic of Reality” book signing. It has been nice to have another atheist around to discuss the bizarre cultural norms and probable violations of civil liberties of our employer.

This is the first year that I have had a student persistently ask me my religious opinions, which no surprise came during a lesson on the big bang theory. I simply decided to refuse to discuss my religious opinions. In the past I might have insinuated I was Christian in some subtle way, but I’ve been pissed at some of the things that are going on this year at work and this felt like the appropriate volume of “fuck you” to the cultural norms that are perpetuated. It might have made a few students rethink what they thought they knew about me, but no one has said anything else and it has not altered my classroom culture.

Generally, if I want people to leave me alone I will say “I was raised Baptist/Pentecostal/Christian” which allows them to assume that I am still religious. Sometimes I will say “I am non-denominational “ or I have “no preference”. Oddly, this area is so saturated with homogeneous Christian culture that “no preference” defaults in their mind to “any protestant church”. If I want to be a shit-disturber and see little consequence I will answer honestly.

Amongst acquaintances and folks that move in my social circle I am known to be an atheist, but only my closest friends and of course fellow CoS members know I am a Satanist.

The beautiful thing about being Satanist is there is absolutely no pressure to “represent” the religion to the public. Therefore, as a Satanist I choose to respond to my environment in ways that benefit me or otherwise please me the most. The religion question is no exception.

I totally agree with your last 3 sentences, NaamahPink. I answer each situation differently and however it may benefit me the most.

Yes! This is such a welcome relief from the proselytizing perspective of the pious!