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#467079 - 12/28/11 03:02 PM Introducing myself...
Selfist Offline


Registered: 12/28/11
Posts: 13
Loc: Maine, USA
...is a very difficult thing for me to do. But I shall try.

I became an ex-Christian about five years ago. As most of us ex-Christians know, our views often aren't conducive to expanding our social circles. In my case, as one who has suffered from severe social anxiety disorder (SAD) for years, my social life is practically non-existent. (If interested, "My Gossamer Dress" is an article I wrote about SAD.) The isolation was bad enough before I banished the Xian god from my life!

So, I seek camaraderie with like-minded people online (even though communicating via computer can feel like salt in the wound of social anxiety when many SAD sufferers are in desperate need of real human contact). Unfortunately, I've not been satisfied with the forums or others avenues of communication I've been involved with so far.

I'd run across the CoS website some time ago, and knew I wanted to learn more about the organization. Since yesterday, I've spent a lot of time reading about its principles, and I'm very much liking what I'm learning. And I like what I'm reading at this forum.



Edited by Selfist (12/28/11 04:32 PM)
Edit Reason: At the good advise of verszou - changed "most of us" to "most of us ex-christians"
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"Of moral purpose I see no trace in Nature. That is an article of exclusively human manufacture – and very much to our credit." ~ T.H. Huxley

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#467082 - 12/28/11 04:08 PM Re: Introducing myself... [Re: Selfist]
verszou Offline



Registered: 09/05/07
Posts: 1814
Loc: Denmark
Originally Posted By: Selfist
...is a very difficult thing for me to do. But I shall try.


Don't worry - it was pretty intimidating when I wrote mine too.

Originally Posted By: Selfist

I became an ex-Christian about five years ago. As most of us know


For the sake of clarity, I would think that refering to "us" is not a good policy. It does assume that Satanists are by default former christians. This may not be true for all, some are simply atheists who identified with The Satanic Bible.

Originally Posted By: Selfist


In my case, as one who has suffered from severe social anxiety disorder (SAD) for years


I've fought with that over the years ... I do say "fought" not "suffered", because I'm currently where I feel that I'm in the winning position. But I also know that it is not something that is easy to work with. And a forum full of Satanists can be very intimidating, even if you're not fighting anything already. Not trying to discourage you or anything, just saying that people can be pretty direct or even harsh at times.

Though, compared to the time when introductions actually were required things are pretty mellow smile

Anyway, just continue reading through the site, the books and the old posts and you'll get there.
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While having never invented a sin, I'm trying to perfect several.

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#467083 - 12/28/11 04:37 PM Re: Introducing myself... [Re: Selfist]
Selfist Offline


Registered: 12/28/11
Posts: 13
Loc: Maine, USA

I appreciate your input, verszou, and I've edited the original post to reflect your good advice.

And thank you for the words of encouragement. It does sound like you understand that that "SAD people" can be rather thin-skinned, and I'm no exception!
_________________________
"Of moral purpose I see no trace in Nature. That is an article of exclusively human manufacture – and very much to our credit." ~ T.H. Huxley

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#467088 - 12/28/11 04:58 PM Re: Introducing myself... [Re: Selfist]
dvlchild Offline


Registered: 10/29/07
Posts: 30
Loc: austin texas
greetings esteemed mediators members of the cos ive been away and would like to re-introduce myself.I am 46 years old,my intrest in the occult began at 13 or 14 years of age at the time my mother a devout xstian was busy trying to redeem my soul.As i stepped into adolescence the notion of a rebellious angel appealed to me yet i was bored with the rest of the philosophy.Like so many others i had seen several "elders" out on weekends carousing drunkenly,chasing after the fairer sex.It was about this time i fisrt came across The Satanic Bible.The seed was sown i was from then on that devilworshipper to my peers. Around my 18th birthday i stumbled upon a copy of crowleys,Magik in Theory and Practice,this led to a very seriuos intrest in the "Black Arts". I decided to put aside my Satanic Bible in pursuit of the teachings of "The Most Wicked Man in The World". For the next12 to 15 years i sought out keys,clavicals,tablets of union,watchtowers,the deeper meanings of the tarot,yet throughout all of this something eluded me.My now ex-wife prompted my return to studying Satanism in earnest by her intrest in The Compleate Witch,I realized these texts were living breathing manuscipts not antiquated dances around chalked pentagrams.This was a philosophy for man!! Im still inerested in demonology and the black arts but my view off all things esoteric is permanantley skewed.I will continue to visit this informing and exciting forum and hope to further my understanding of Modern Satanism thanks for your time... Hail Satan!!!
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ave satanis dvlchild

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#467089 - 12/28/11 05:00 PM Re: Introducing myself... [Re: Selfist]
-Ember- Offline


Registered: 12/13/11
Posts: 23
Loc: Mississippi
Welcome.
I can relate to the isolation one feels when everyone you know believes one way and you believe another. Can seem overwhelming at times, for many different reasons. But you are here; that would be a step. smile I second what Verszou said, don't let any intimidation scare you. Just keep your wits about you. Don't talk about a subject you haven't the slightest clue about and before you ask a question, see if you can answer it easily with a little research. I'm not a long time user of this site for sure. I poke my head in every now and then, but I've found that those few 'rules' help when dealing with a group of satanists in general. And rightly so.

And the only reason I really mention any advice is because of your SAD. I just thought you might appreciate it.

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#467090 - 12/28/11 05:11 PM Re: Introducing myself... [Re: -Ember-]
Selfist Offline


Registered: 12/28/11
Posts: 13
Loc: Maine, USA
Originally Posted By: -Ember-
Welcome.
I can relate to the isolation one feels when everyone you know believes one way and you believe another. Can seem overwhelming at times, for many different reasons. But you are here; that would be a step. smile I second what Verszou said, don't let any intimidation scare you. Just keep your wits about you. Don't talk about a subject you haven't the slightest clue about and before you ask a question, see if you can answer it easily with a little research. I'm not a long time user of this site for sure. I poke my head in every now and then, but I've found that those few 'rules' help when dealing with a group of satanists in general. And rightly so.

And the only reason I really mention any advice is because of your SAD. I just thought you might appreciate it.



All advice is welcomed! Thanks, Ember!
_________________________
"Of moral purpose I see no trace in Nature. That is an article of exclusively human manufacture – and very much to our credit." ~ T.H. Huxley

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#467091 - 12/28/11 05:13 PM Re: Introducing myself... [Re: dvlchild]
Selfist Offline


Registered: 12/28/11
Posts: 13
Loc: Maine, USA
Originally Posted By: dvlchild
greetings esteemed mediators members of the cos ive been away and would like to re-introduce myself.I am 46 years old,my intrest in the occult began at 13 or 14 years of age at the time my mother a devout xstian was busy trying to redeem my soul.As i stepped into adolescence the notion of a rebellious angel appealed to me yet i was bored with the rest of the philosophy.Like so many others i had seen several "elders" out on weekends carousing drunkenly,chasing after the fairer sex.It was about this time i fisrt came across The Satanic Bible.The seed was sown i was from then on that devilworshipper to my peers. Around my 18th birthday i stumbled upon a copy of crowleys,Magik in Theory and Practice,this led to a very seriuos intrest in the "Black Arts". I decided to put aside my Satanic Bible in pursuit of the teachings of "The Most Wicked Man in The World". For the next12 to 15 years i sought out keys,clavicals,tablets of union,watchtowers,the deeper meanings of the tarot,yet throughout all of this something eluded me.My now ex-wife prompted my return to studying Satanism in earnest by her intrest in The Compleate Witch,I realized these texts were living breathing manuscipts not antiquated dances around chalked pentagrams.This was a philosophy for man!! Im still inerested in demonology and the black arts but my view off all things esoteric is permanantley skewed.I will continue to visit this informing and exciting forum and hope to further my understanding of Modern Satanism thanks for your time... Hail Satan!!!


You seem to be in the wrong "introduction" post?
_________________________
"Of moral purpose I see no trace in Nature. That is an article of exclusively human manufacture – and very much to our credit." ~ T.H. Huxley

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#467094 - 12/28/11 05:58 PM Re: Introducing myself... [Re: Selfist]
Shade Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 07/08/06
Posts: 6135
Loc: A Trailer Park
That was very interesting article, both of them. Is SAD the same thing as agoraphobia?
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"What happens in the shadow, in the grey regions, also interests us – all that is elusive and fugitive, all that can be said in those beautiful half tones, or in whispers, in deep shade." ~ The Brothers Quay

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#467095 - 12/28/11 06:18 PM Re: Introducing myself... [Re: Shade]
Selfist Offline


Registered: 12/28/11
Posts: 13
Loc: Maine, USA
Originally Posted By: Shade
That was very interesting article, both of them. Is SAD the same thing as agoraphobia?


Thank you, Shade.

Social Anxiety Disorder and Agoraphobia are often confused, just as "anxiety attacks" and "panic attacks" are. The clinical symptoms of SAD don't include panic attacks, although one can experience anxiety attacks.

Agoraphobia is an intense and irrational fear of being trapped in a situation where escape would be difficult or embarrassing, or help would be unavailable in the event of a panic attack.
_________________________
"Of moral purpose I see no trace in Nature. That is an article of exclusively human manufacture – and very much to our credit." ~ T.H. Huxley

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#467113 - 12/29/11 03:54 AM Re: Introducing myself... [Re: Selfist]
Shade Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 07/08/06
Posts: 6135
Loc: A Trailer Park
Thanks for replying! I've weathered panic attacks all my life and've always been kind of curious about the, uh, (?...werdz verdz) more "unsociable" disorders like agoraphobia, Asperger's, etc. A lot of these things seem very difficult to describe, kind of defy categorization or easy definitions, and are shamelessly romanticized by media. All of which exacerbates confusion/misunderstanding about what's what. Know what I mean, jelly bean?
_________________________
"What happens in the shadow, in the grey regions, also interests us – all that is elusive and fugitive, all that can be said in those beautiful half tones, or in whispers, in deep shade." ~ The Brothers Quay

We're Just Regular People

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#467116 - 12/29/11 07:42 AM Re: Introducing myself... [Re: Selfist]
Selfist Offline


Registered: 12/28/11
Posts: 13
Loc: Maine, USA
I'm sorry to hear that you endure panic attacks. I've had anxiety attacks, but I understand that panic attacks are a 'whole 'nuther animal! I don't envy you...

This jelly bean sure knows what ya mean about the confusion and misunderstandings about these kinds of mental conditions. And don't get me started about the role the media, and the pharmaceutical companies play in cruelly giving people false hopes for relief - for the almighty dollar!


Edited by Selfist (12/29/11 09:44 AM)
Edit Reason: Additional comment

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#467140 - 12/29/11 02:24 PM Re: Introducing myself... [Re: Selfist]
Bill_M Offline
CoS Magister

Registered: 07/28/01
Posts: 11565
Loc: New England, USA
Originally Posted By: Selfist
Agoraphobia is an intense and irrational fear of being trapped in a situation where escape would be difficult or embarrassing, or help would be unavailable in the event of a panic attack.

Or at least that's what Wikipedia tells people in their article's first paragraph. Agoraphobia can also take the form of a fear of open spaces and essentially the opposite of claustrophobia. It doesn't always have to entail social situations.
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#467141 - 12/29/11 02:32 PM Re: Introducing myself... [Re: dvlchild]
Bill_M Offline
CoS Magister

Registered: 07/28/01
Posts: 11565
Loc: New England, USA
Originally Posted By: dvlchild
Im [sic] still inerested [sic] in demonology

I'm not sure how you reconcile that with the non-theistic nature of Satanism. Care to explain?

Quote:
and hope to further my understanding of Modern Satanism

One small correction here: "Modern Satanism" is a redundant term. There doesn't seem to be any evidence of a religion called "Satanism" with adherents who called themselves "Satanists" existing before the Church of Satan. You certainly had occultists like Crowley and the like, but seemingly nobody using that term for themselves.
_________________________
Reverend Bill M.

http://www.devilsmischief.com: Carnal Comedy Clips, Netherworld Novelty Numbers,
New hour every week. Download the mp3 now!

http://www.aplaceformystuff.org: Tales of Combat Clutter and other Adventures

(Wenn du Google's Übersetzer verwendest, um diese Worte zu lesen, dann bist du ein Arschloch.)

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#467157 - 12/29/11 08:01 PM Re: Introducing myself... [Re: dvlchild]
Phineas Offline
CoS Magister

Registered: 08/16/06
Posts: 8274
Forget about demonology and black arts for a while.

Instead, invest in a course on how to properly punctuate, capitalize words, etc, and effectively and correctly compose paragraphs.
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#467163 - 12/30/11 12:06 AM Re: Introducing myself... [Re: Selfist]
-Ember- Offline


Registered: 12/13/11
Posts: 23
Loc: Mississippi
Sorry my reply is a little late. You're welcome, Selfist

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