What do you think your last words will be?!

I know this topic is a little crazy, but what the hell, it's boring if we take ourselves too serious

I hope my last words will be something like this ''I lived, as I was''

I´m gonna live forever so you will never hear my last words!

I want to live forever too, but this topic is just for fun, sooooo

I cannot imagine that my last words will be anything philosophical in nature. To me death is one big inconvenience, and a lengthy dying process would only piss me off. If it is quick, then either "Oh Shit!" or my standard orgasm noise would be a safe bet.

Confronted with the prospect of death looming, I don't know that I would bother with words. If it were abrupt, I might very well also eek out an "Oh, shit!" Given more time, it might be "Oh, shit! I should have [looked both ways before crossing the street, or insert my shortcoming here]." Perhaps, that additional information might at least go through my mind as the bus overcame me, if not so spoken.

Invariably, my thoughts would as much amount to "I do not want to die," whether I vocalized the words or not.

I don't know that I would necessarily treat this question as "fun", but it is at least an interesting one to pose. I'm curious how others might reply. I suppose if you come to a useful conclusion, it matters not if it were "fun" or "serious".

In the Satanic Bible, starting on page 91, Mr. LaVey wrote of utterly refusing to die.

Sorry if I appear as a party pooper.

Twice I thought I was going to die for separate reasons; once through participation in extreme sports; another time because another person threatened me.

In both instances, there was a complete erasure of every other thought except,"I'm going to die!"

In the first case, I jumped out of an airplane, and the force of the wind was so strong I could not exhale, but instead froze, air rushing into my lungs. Instead of enjoying the fantastic view and thrill, I was calmly trying to figure out what to do. Finally I put my hand over my mouth to create a more breathable space. Then I enjoyed the rest of the jump.

I thought later how funny it would be to jump out of an airplane and die from suffocation mid-jump. Funny in the way of reading strange obituaries on a Sunday morning with coffee.

The second time someone threatened me. In that moment, I was terrified, and frozen. Immediately after, I loathed this person with every thing I could muster, and wished them a lifetime of humiliation and pain. All I wanted was to get the fuck out of there, and never see this person again.

No great philosophical epiphanies or even thoughts of my loved ones; just absurd statements of obvious fact.

Conjectures on death are interesting, but I wonder how very, very different ones response here would be if they had actually seen - been a raw, harsh witness - to the absolute reality and finality of death. Questions such as this are asked only by those who do are not confronted with its reality.

death holds no interest for me, i wish to live as long as possible so i can indulge in all the carnal delights mortality has to offer

HAIL SATAN

"I told you i was sick"

"Send more paramedics..."

"Nice kitty."

"You must be her husband. This isn't what it looks like."

"I did it my way!"

Good one.

"Looks safe to me!"

If the circumstance allowed it I probably give a message to someone I cared about.

Also a reminder for them to delete my downloads folder.

I have had one near-death experience, and I can’t remember saying anything. I don’t even remember screaming, which is odd.

It’s a long story, but let is suffice to say that I fell off of a cliff/outcropping (it was about 75 feet...I went back and got a good estamite...but it sounds better if I call it a cliff).

They say all is well that ends well and I didn’t die (obviously). In fact I ended up with nothing more than a bunch a stitches, a lot of friction rash, hydrocodone and a good story.

As I was going down I was certain that I was going to die (and by all rights I should have). There was a moment of sadness when I thought of loved ones (some of which were watching me fall at the time). After that I went blank…probably because I brained myself pretty good on a log…but I was ok with it. If there was something I could have done to increase my chances of survival I would have done it…but at that point I was pretty much helpless. Death isn’t that scary…It’s just sad…it’s the end.

Come to think of it, I’m pretty sure “Oh shit,” made an appearance as I went over the edge.

If I could chose something to say it would be something along the lines of…”is that it?”

"So, what's this button for?"

Pancho Villa the Mexican Revolutionary general was reputed to have said:

"Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something”

From Famous Last Words : The Ultimate Collection of Finales and Farewells by Laura Ward and Robert Allen. This is doubtful, given the way he died after receiving nine bullets in the head and chest which tends to make someone not that talkative.

Just reading all the posts there’s a quite a variety of responses from taking the topic seriously to the just-for-fun responses that LightAngel was seeking. Not sure what I’d say but building on from what Woody Allen’s character says in the 1997 movie - Deconstructing Harry:

"The most beautiful words in the English language are not 'I love you,' but 'It's benign.'"

I might go with the epitaph: “But my doctor said it was benign” which could also double up as famous last words, so I’ll go with that.

Not sure if I’m seguing the topic of this thread into another, but the feeling I get is most of us won’t have a chance to utter any famous last words when death comes calling. So to offset the fact that we might not make that pithy quote we’d want to say as we die perhaps our famous last words on an epitaph might do.

Some of the posts referred to immortality so I’ll conclude with another quote from Woody Allen:

“I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.”

Infernal regards

Sanguinary

I enjoy reading all the different answers

"Wait, I forgot my wallet!"

"Are you going to eat that?"

Some great responses here! (Well, aside from the few who needed to chime in just to let us all know how humorless and pretentious they were.)

My last words might be something along the lines of "So finally, the third guy walks up to the bartender and --- [GAG, CROAK] [*flatline*]"

Actually my last words would probably something way more simple, like: "BUS!!"

So in that case my last words would probably be something like "Trust me, I know what I´m doing".

It would totally depend on how I die. If it's a sudden spur of the moment, I may not even say anything. If I know it's coming to me and I feel it any second will come I might say "goodbye" to the whole world.

"I bet you a dollar I can jump that."

"I have video of Obama in college that will change the 2012 election."

Is this the poisonous spider you were telling me about?



http://www.google.com.au/imgres?um=1&hl=en&sa=N&biw=1081&bih=620&tbm=isch&tbnid=hKWhaX8Wmv7BJM:&imgrefurl=http://tyrrells.com/blog/2010/11/03/a-sydney-pest-the-funnel-web-spider/&docid=OX3WdkgHGXu_dM&imgurl=http://tyrrells.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/FunnelWebSpider.jpg&w=500&h=398&ei=FwNnT724IeXimAW4wpivCA&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=379&sig=113042845107090103543&page=1&tbnh=117&tbnw=150&start=0&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:0&tx=78&ty=46

What about "Look that cute little kitty.."

"I'm gonna have to see this myself."

That, or "This was made with what, now?"

"How fast does this go?"

"That's why I fucked yo bitch you fat muthafucka!"

"Shit."

"Why would I pay someone $200 an hour to do this when there's videos on youtube explaining how? Whatever happened to self-reliance? It's really not all that complicated. You just put this here and push... wait, it's stuck, hang on..."

"Oh, please! That's just an urban legend."

"I'm pretty sure this is how you do it."

Last tag.

"I was the one who ate the last cookie."

In all seriousness, it would depend on the situation.

"Leave the gun, take the cannoli"

Actually I want to die in bed while asleep. So no last words -

I'd be ok with dying in bed, but not asleep.

Hmmph.

*slowly crosses Zaftig off Birthday Party list*

If I were to die this moment, my last words would have been, "I'm going to bed early."

Very poignant.

I'm gonna come

Ooh - is that a biscuit?

Looking at it as a serious point...."I'm going to bed early" would be a nice few words to utter.

I can't think of a better place to croak than under my duvet.

"Can you taste my cock when you kiss your girlfriend?"

Homer said it best. "Doh"

Heh. I was feeling a little morose at the time.

My new answer would be, "I'll show Rev. Bill who's humourless!" before dying in the most absurdly ironic way while trying to be funny.

I´m gonna laugh myself dead!

" Don't worry. I'm a professional."

"I drank what?" (Inspired by Real Genius)


I suppose you could tell "The Aristocrats".

"What's the name of this game again? Russian what?"

"Yes Honey, those jeans DO make your ass look big."

"I've seen worse!"

"HaHaHa... dude! Who the fuck would tattoo MS-13 on their forehead anyway? That just makes you look retarded!"

''You can't scare me''

Oh, you are such a tough guy, aren't you?

Honestly, my last words are likely to be, "You may be an A student, but this is F work."

*snort* That one made my day.

Good one!

"This should clear up by itself in a few days."

"Well technically the Sushi only had to be sold by that date, not eaten."

Alternately:

"I've had better."

Everybody is posting their little "last words" thingy...and having a little chuckle to themselves...thinking how brilliant it is what they just came up with...

Nobody else has got a fucking clue what they are talking about.

It's the most interesting and dullest thread ever.



**shuffles back off into his corner**
Merlot, apple and cheese...DONT TOUCH ME

"The gold is buried in............"

I agree .... This topic is strange hehee

And I also learned that if I want some people to think that I'm a guy, then I just have to post ''Dracula's laugh'' then I will be all tough and stuff, I should use this little laugh everytime an enemy is near

Oh the irony.

On the contrary, I would say that I've had a few experiences when I almost(obviously) died, and in most of them I didn't even have the time to think of saying something. Maybe just thinking "Oh, fuck NO!" but definitely not having the time to voice this thought as I was focused on surviving.

But keeping in mind that the author of this topic asked us to share our thoughts or quote our probable "last words", this is why I guess each chose to answer in their own way. But again, we were ASKED to share our thoughts on the 'last words' thing. On the other hand, I think nobody asked of any man here to give opinions on other people's way of commenting or sharing thoughts on other people's humor or lack of such. I would like to say that I don't like it, so please don't do it again whoever might think of doing that. Don't know what the others might think, but if something is funny to me I still don't suffer from the dellusion that everybody should like me, my humor or have the capability to 'get the joke' or the surroundings to grasp what I put in it. So, giving opinions would really not help much. Or, when criticising, please at least be specific to whom does this concern in particular.

As I said before, I enjoy reading all the different answers in this topic, people can be funny if they like, or they can be serious, or they can be both .... all is fine with me

I do find this topic a little strange, but that's why I like it

It is like I said before, I am gonna live forever so none of you will never hear my last words! I still wrote answers to this thread just cause it is actually quite funny to think these phrases tongue on my cheek.
I think that even if we take our life very seriously, it has no value if it does not include any sense of humor.

As epicurean I believe that pleasure is the greatest good, but the way to attain pleasure is to live modestly and to gain knowledge of the workings of the world and the limits of my desires. That means I feel very important to attain freedom from fear of the death and physical pain.

I laugh to death cause I will not let it rule my fears in this life, so little black parody which we see in this thread is actually quite refreshing reading..

Good one

That's twice now. Do you actually believe that you are going to live forever? Like a Christian in the Kingdom of God kind of forever? Like your accomplishment so great that your name will never die kind of forever?

You do realize that Satanism is a carnal religion right? As carnal beings, we will all die. Every single one of us.

Well I do not believe in eternal soul if that was what you meant? So I do not see how could I live forever in some spiritual level like heaven or hell. I see these "places" more like states of mind!

I don´t see Satan as spirit like Christian people do and do not worship him like God, to me Satan is symbol of my animal nature.

When I say that I am gonna live forever I mean that I like to live in this flesh with these bones and blood so I do not feel interest for dying but living as long as it is possible in my case!

No punishment or prize after death will be waiting for me. Only disappearance to emptiness which is fine by me!

I have actually wrote a blog about this issue called Satan worship or Satanism :
http://www.satannet.com/blogs/7492/11494/satan-worship-or-satanism

That's much clearer.

Occasionally users on this forum make statements that can be considered either quasi-pseudo-Satanic, or merely ambiguous and confusing, and I simply did not want to leave it go unchallenged. "I am going to live forever" is a very different statement than, "I want to live as long as possible."

Thank you for clarifying.

I have seen many kind of theories and opinions about Satanism also so I preserve that you Witch Zaftig challenge these people!

I have seen some of these spiritual Satanist societies also in internet, though I will not support them by advertising their names here..

With Respect:

Janina

Laughed the hell out of myself! Loved the humor...

Oh come on, you could have come up with a better "death wish" quote than THAT.

BRILLIANT

"Hi, sorry for running late. As requested, I brought fava beans and a nice Chianti. What's for dinner?"

A few come to mind...

"Well, this sucks..."
or
"I think I just shit my pants..."
or
"she said it was unloaded..."
or
"Don't worry, I've done this a million times..."

Nice one

What about electricity, I am professional!

Damn! You beat me to it. Sort of. I think mine might be worse. Somethng more like,

"Go ahead, asshole. Shoot. I don't give a damn. I am 95 years old and she was totally worth it."

I got run over by a suburban moving 55-60 mph on a back road years ago driving a four wheeler when I was a kid. I looked up and saw the grill of the truck move from about 8 feet in front of me to about 3 inches from my face and my only word was "shit!"

The heart patient in me knows that I will probably die taking a dump on the toilet making some grunting noise

If I had a choice, I would say "I'm not done yet".

Ha ha! Doesn't sound like a bad way to go...

"Where did that tie strap go?"

"You disconnected the power, right?"

"I need an adult!"

"It looks safe enough to me..."

"Relax. She's forgotten all about that."

A few weeks ago I had a very random allergic reaction to one of my cats, Tip, while hugging and kissing her. I had to rush to hospital to get pumped full of steroids and other lovely (expensive) medication.

Luckily my throat didn't quite close up and I was just about able to communicate my situation with doctors, otherwise my last words would have been literally 'Tippppyyyy babbbyyyyyyyy mmmmmmmmmmmm'.

Hugging the cat is not so bad way to day. Not at all

Wow

I'm glad you are better, but you should do something about this! - You should get injections of cat allergens, because that will help the body build up a tolerance, I know this help many people.

If i were on my death bed and I knew I was dying, I don't know what mine would be. All I know is that they would be shared with my sister.
If it was a quick, it would probably be, "Fuck me."

I like you!

And you are NOT done!

You have a lot to create.

"This is my lucky day" :)))

Very well, Mr. Chigurh, since you insist. I call heads!

It'll work. I mean, I'm practically a surgeon.

I only intend to have one word on my gravestone...


fiction

Cheer up sweetheart! I mean, how bad can it be?

Another variation could be...

"Sure it is safe, this volcano was asleep for..."

I think inscriptions on graves can be a topic on its own. We cannot actually know what our last words will be, though we can decide what we would like to see on our gravestone.

'Does this Magic Spell actually do something..?'

I´m bored with dying!

I love you, baby. See you on the other side.

Fiction is great gravestone text, though if you want to be more dramatic you could also put it to form ´Stranger than fiction.´

"What other side?", I would ask. But I guess that if those were your last words, you'd be already too dead to answer, right? :P

I'm not sure does it really mean so much in this context what some person means by talking about 'other side' on the topic which is pure speculation anyway. After all the subject goes 'Your last words' not 'Your last believes' or something like that. I see that in this context believing something and speculating with words are too separate things.

Of course Satanism as religion is purely carnal tradition which does not teach anything spiritual about eternal souls, saving God or places like Heaven and Hell, this is still after all topic which should be fun and for that reason not taken so literally.

After all we will never know our last words until we die, cause if you die on car accident for example there is high probability you won't even have time to say anything, but having fun with the issue and playing with the words is fun. No matter what the words actually include..

just my opinion!

It's nice to see you have fun with this topic Janina, because you were a little grumpy in the beginning

Now I do have fun LightAngel. At the start I thought this actually far too seriously and maybe that is the reason for my last post. Like I earlier said to you in discussion I am not willing to die but live 'forever' or at least all the days possible.

The fun part here after I started to make up these phrases is to imagine myself to situation where I might to use phrase like this or that. It includes some dark parody which is quite refreshing to my thoughts.

Good topic LightAngel, glad you started it!

When talking about last words I think my last one-liner in this life is probably something short like 'Oh shit, I'm gonna die..'

Good one!

P.S. I see you upgraded your account, which means - you got your red card. Congratulations! Membership is something I am also planning in the future.

I have actually been member for sometime already, but I just upgraded my member title here.

I think that membership is serious commitment and you should consider it carefully from many perspectives.

Still, thank you for noting!

Oh, definitely. That's why I am not rushing it. I mean, the Church of Satan isn't running away.

Every time I have come close to dying it has been 'Fuck' or a grunt, usually it is something happening so fast that it's not much.

I wish it was "There's no way you could fuck me to death"

My first thought was that my last remark would probably be something unedifying and unladylike, such as “shit!”

However, if I had time, I would say the name of the Cat currently living with me.

Whilst we are discussing the fascinating subject of death, may I point out that everyone should make a will. Even if you think you have nothing to leave; wouldn’t you rather your books went to a friend, instead of being thrown out with the garbage? Most important, who will care for your pet[s]? At the very least, arrange for someone to take them to the local animal shelter.

Your cat sure is loved, all pets should be loved this way *Blush*

About the rest of your post, I haven't been thinking about making a will yet, because I'm still young, but you make a good point here. - The funny thing is that I've always been thinking about my pets, I've been thinking who should take care of them if I couldn't anymore.

Oh, hell, don't succumb to the illusion that youth is a guaranty of anything. Ever seen death turning away simply because it wasn't expected?

In The Devil's Notebook (I believe in the essay about being God or the Devil) Dr.LaVey says one should remember about mortality.

Indeed. Death has no respect for age. It comes indiscriminately and swiftly.

"We are here to drink beer and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.”

- Charles Bukowski.

And really, that's all you can do.

Somehow most people seem to think they are kind of immortal beings. One of the most common lies which I've ever seen people to make to themselves is that they think they are going to live at least hundred years or so. I mean you can die 5 minutes after you have read this or then you just might live next 60 years, we never know. You may be young or old, but you have no guarantee that you will see the next day!

I may sound crass, but what do I care if I am dead who gets my stuff? It doesn't matter. I am dead, whoever wants it can squabble if they want. Maybe if I was married had kids I would think differently, but even then, legally if you have a spouse it ends up being at their discretion even if you have a will. Just like when my father died he wasn't an organ donor but my step-mother decided his organs could be used. You have no legal say when you are dead.
The law is often more logical than some people.

This might just be my experience though, and in some places it may be different. Still even if there was 2 billion dollars of mine out there.. let them squabble.

Death can come at any age, I know that, it's logical, I didn't know I had to mention that

But when you are young then you shouldn't think so much about death, you should think about life, and that's what I do. - This topic was just posted for fun in the first place.

I replied to MagdaGraham's post because I think she made a good point

Of course, I assumed you are aware of your own mortality. My post was mostly in the context of making a will.

Yet, Memento mori is a good note to stick on the front of your refrigerator.

I have the gold... wonderful, shining gold!

Myyyy Prreciousss..

"This is the big one Elizabeth! I'm comin' to join ya honey!"

As can be expected, presumably, the Japanese have a tradition for "death poems" -- jisei -- where the point is to get your shit together and say something cool as you go. I once got a booklet of jisei as a present, and draw these lines from memory:

Seventy years and more
I have lived
The stench of urine
Clings to my bones -
I welcome the wind.

Of course, that's bloody serious stuff -- whereas this here post I find really funny insofar I get to think of things that could have been in a movie (or something).

I actually didn't know this, so thanks for sharing.

Indeed, thank you for sharing this. I think I would be glad to see a jisei on my gravestone. To leave a message behind, as it were.

I really like your posts Xul. I appreciate the sarcasm, because it makes it makes me laugh. Not saying honestly what you say doesn't bring truth.. Funny to hear someone who learned British English on this forum, aside from those who are actually British English speakers.

Here is a thought from Bob Dylan/ the media :


You may be an ambassador to England or France
You may like to gamble, you might like to dance
You may be the heavyweight champion of the world
You may be a socialite with a long string of pearls.

But you're gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed
You're gonna have to serve somebody,
It may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you're gonna have to serve somebody.

--(azlyrics.com)


Although true--ish.. WHY? Serve oneself and look after other people afterwards.

What I love about Satansim is, the idea. The adversary, the true meaning of Stan/Satan.

It is not about following, or even leading. It is about being. Who the fuck doesn't want to live, and live to the fullest. Even a nihilist wishes happiness. This is a carnal and obvious life need, some people need someone else to tell them how to do this. Some guy in the sky (Abrahamic), some guy who did it before (Buddist), another chance (Hindu), No Gods to lead you to a river (Shinto), etc etc.

We have ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIFE. Realize this, know there is no fairy tale after. If you damage your body it is not something anyone can say something about, it might be stupid but it's your fucking life. If you want to be stupid and waste your life prothesizing, worshiping do so. You are just a moron for doing so. We have a magic of will, if we so choose to use it. It is not mystical to me, but a logical magic. The world is what it is. We may never truly get it. There are things we know from thousands of years of observation though.

We have no modern philosophers, besides the self proclaimed ones.. and honestly looking at Mel Brooks' History of the World it would be the closest I can see. A stand up comedian. They are the only ones allowed to speak their mind whether it be racist, sexist, ageist, etc. Our modern philosophers are comedians.. and I believe Carlin was the best of our time.

Sorry I ranted waaay too much hope this will help further the discussion.

"touche, universe"

"That was one hell of a ride!"

he hee

"Yeah right. As if *I* am ever going to be intimidated by some cheap street thug with a shotgun!!"

"it's the red wire, right?"

Hmm...Check Engine Soon...I wonder what that means? (ref.:MST3K)

"Don't touch my stuff. I'll come pick it up on Friday."