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#475401 - 06/25/12 03:43 PM How did you discover Satanism?
Mr_Darkside Offline


Registered: 06/17/12
Posts: 14
Loc: England, UK
For me I would say I've always been different, an outsider even. When i was a small child, I would always be attracted to the more "darker" elements of things. I always wanted the bad guys on TV and in movies to win out against the hero. As a teenager I remember staying behind after school and sitting in the library alone until the old women kicked me out and told me to bugger off home. I had very few friends, - I was in no way "cool". I wore black and listened to heavy metal.
I loved to paint and read books about atheism and religion. I also hated sports. I had a keen interest in The Bible and would often sketch out things I'd read in "Revelation". Because of these "odd" interests and my choice of clothing, some of the other kids used to tease me by calling me a devil worshipper and a Satanist. I never really paid much attention until a couple of years ago when I discovered TSB. It wasn't until that point that I truly realised who I was all along, and there was a reason that these kids never liked me during my teens. I think me being labelled "Satanist" by my peers acted as a self fulfilling prophecy in a way. It urged me to dig deeper into the dark side of myself, and discover what all the fuss was about. Would I have eventually found Satanism anyway? Probably. But looking back I think this was the catalyst that prompted me forward.

So, over to you... How did you discover Satanism, and do you think that your earlier experiences prompted you to research the subject, or did you stumble upon it by chance?

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#475402 - 06/25/12 04:14 PM Re: How did you discover Satanism? [Re: Mr_Darkside]
Numb-Lock Offline


Registered: 03/16/12
Posts: 23
sounds a bit like this thread: What does Satanism mean to you - LTTD But I am not a mod, so I can't say anything.

Nonetheless, I discovered Satanism after years of studying other religions. I was inspired to study other religions, philosophy, and science because of my rigid Christian upbringing. We had the whole 9 yards, no poke'mon, no Magic: The Gathering, Fantasy novels, TV shows that my parents church friends deemed "evil." The first time I ever mentioned Satan to my dad what after I had spend a week mowing lawns at 14 years old. I had mowed for $10 a lawn and earned 30 bucks, which was alot for a 14 year old kid who grew up in a lower middle class home.

We lived about 20 minutes outside of Springfield, OH and we would travel into town from the countryside at least once a week when dad got paid. One time I told my dad I had earned my own money and so I wanted to buy some gaming cards. At the time I was Christian (enough to make my parents happy, once I turned 15 I became an atheist), and so when I got this super white-light looking angel card I was desperate to show him, and finally prove to him that not all indulgences in life are evil. Once I showed him he told me "Satan dresses up as an angel of light to deceive us from the path of righteousness." At that moment I realized that the path I was one was damned if you do and damned if you don't. In a fit a rage I told him that if enjoy life meant aligning with Satan, then I would. Though he was gonna beat the crap out of me right there in the supermarket. Needless to say, I was a small Satan, I wanted the heavy metal, the gothic clothes, the magic power, because I loved it, I was obsessed with it. Nights I wouldn't sleep, I would read books about magicians, witches and wizards in fantasy lands and lay awake thinking about what I would do with my own personal power. I had an unusual enjoyment about reading about Black Magic. I would always play as a Black Magician in the old (I mean the old) Final Fantasy games. Music was a very small role in influencing me Satanically, but it did in a small way.

The years in college gave me time to get involved in all the Logic and Philosophy classes and groups I could, I though I was going to be some great psychologist. But then I remembered the oldest desire I had since I was a small child, being a Firefighter and Medic. It was due to a car accident my mother, me and brother was in with a guy who ran a red-light. So despite the chiding from my family about how dangerous the job was, I enlisted in the city fire academy. I kept doing logic, philosophy, and religion classes hoping to find the best answer for myself, but everything seemed empty and idealistic to me. I could question everyone of the religions to the point where people would get so pissed at me, but I could single handily break it down to a level of absurdity. After awhile, through some weird channels I met some people and settled down in a small Buddhist group in Dayton, Ohio, only for a short time.

However, over the years as I studied and protested nuclear manufacturing, warfare, and wrote lectures, and hosted Buddhist meetings on Environmental Issues I felt a small fire deep inside that this was all B.S. It wasn't until I was browsing though the New Age section at a book store that I stumbled on the Satanic Bible. I picked it up and flipped through it. I just started reading it, right there, never did that before with any other book. I agreed with everything in it. Being a Buddhist I was starting to kinda get embarrassed with all the stuff in it that I was agreeing with. I bought it, the Satanic Rituals, and Satan Speaks all that night and by the end of the week I was privately considering myself a Satanist. As my library grew with the rest of the Church's books it has concreted Satanic philosophy in my Life. I had realized what I was even since I was a small boy, yearning for the desires of Life, Will to Power, and Indulgence.

And that's how I came to realize I was a Satanist. I like the idea of being a Satanist in a burning house, putting a fire out. Sometimes I use those feelings I have in ritual. I it as the Ultimate Will to Power for myself. I can also feel Satanic doing CPR and saving a life. It's the idea of inverting what people assume you are being a Satanist that makes me smile as well.


Edited by Triath (06/25/12 07:55 PM)
_________________________
Triath: The Inquiring Satanist and Firefighter/EMT
Profile graphic used with permission from ASP Apparel


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#475405 - 06/25/12 04:37 PM Re: How did you discover Satanism? [Re: Numb-Lock]
Mr_Darkside Offline


Registered: 06/17/12
Posts: 14
Loc: England, UK
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I enjoyed reading them.

And if snyone has the ability, feel free to delete the thread if need be. I will learn to use the search function a little better next time wink
My apologies.

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#475433 - 06/26/12 10:29 AM Re: How did you discover Satanism? [Re: Mr_Darkside]
Marz Blaqk Offline


Registered: 06/26/12
Posts: 12
When I was about 17 I began dating a very vocal Satanist. My personal beliefs were still lined with a thin veil of Christian dogma, but I was truly Agnostic if anything. He gave me a copy of the Satanic Bible for Valentine's day and also a selection of essays by Nietzsche. From then on it was history. I felt myself becoming less and less deluded as I read on like "Wow, how could I have been so blind."
The boyfriend turned out to be a bit of a sociopath and he did break my heart into a bunch of little bloody pieces, but one good thing that came out of it was the realization of my true nature.

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#475437 - 06/26/12 10:48 AM Re: How did you discover Satanism? [Re: Mr_Darkside]
Wolfe
Unregistered


I'd say that I first began thinking in a Satanic way at an early age. As a child, I had to attend a funeral, someone I didn't know, just an acquaintance og my mom's and grandmom's, I guess. After the funeral service, I asked my mom the question, "why do people have to die," certainly a normal question for all kids to ask at some point. My mother's answer was, "because it's God's will." Well, right away I knew something was wrong with that answer, and I wasn't comfortable with it.

Later, at the age of twenty, when I first read The Satanic Bible, to be honest I was terrified, because I still associated Satanism with Christian "devil worship." I read but I did not understand, simply becuase I did not have enough experience of life to understand and put the concepts of Satanism into practice. But the seed had been planted, and later in life, after I'd travelled a bit in the world and seen for myself how shitty, ignorant and hypocritical most people are, I was able to see my experiences reflected in the philosophy of Satanism. I cloistered myself away for some time, reading all books written by LaVey and Blance Barton, and finally I understood.

Some time after that I applied for membership in the CoS, and now Satanism is a part of my life, something I think about and feel on a daily basis. I now understand why I've always been something of a "lone wolf," why I heed the call of the dark. I was born for it, and it is so very true that Satanists are born, not made. Like Magus Gilmore has said, one can't read the writings and then say "I want to be that." One can't "convert" to Satanism. We are born for the night, so revel in it!

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#475439 - 06/26/12 11:08 AM Re: How did you discover Satanism? [Re: Numb-Lock]
Unknown Offline
Unknown

Registered: 03/31/05
Posts: 1649
Quote:
sounds a bit like this thread: What does Satanism mean to you - LTTD But I am not a mod, so I can't say anything.


Thank you for directing people to my thread. But I think this thread has to do with how one discovered as to where mine deals with how much does Satanism mean to you at this point in your life after you have made such a discovery. Quite a difference between the 2.
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#475517 - 06/27/12 04:52 PM Re: How did you discover Satanism? [Re: Unknown]
Mr_Darkside Offline


Registered: 06/17/12
Posts: 14
Loc: England, UK
Before actually "discovering" Satanism in the truest sense a few years ago, and due to my keen interest in religion and the bible (I have a degree in the subject) I even started to study it in my late teens with the local congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses. Even in this environment of "unconditional love" (which actually translates as love for only fellow members of the cult) I was still an outsider. I enjoyed debating with them the fallacies and inconsistensies found within their most holy of books. Plus there was an attractive young gentleman I'd have liked to have got in the sack. Once they actually started pressuring me to get baptised and knock on doors I thought screw this, I'm off. The knowledge I gained from them proved very valuable when writing my dissertation, allowing me to give first hand accounts on life as a "member" of a Christian sect.
It really proved to me how ridiculous the whole thing is, and how happy I am that I have not wasted my life worshipping false gods and waiting for a "perfect" life once my present one ends. It also made me sad for the children of these deluded fools, who are forced into submission three times a week at their meetings.

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#475568 - 06/28/12 11:59 AM I can't say it was "dark". [Re: Mr_Darkside]
Mason_Rust Offline

CoS Member

Registered: 08/25/02
Posts: 1780
Loc: Michigan, USA
I would have to say that logic and reason led me to discover that there was a term for me, and it was Satanist, as described by Dr. LaVey. In general terms, I suppose I'm comfortable to say I discovered Satanism, but it would be more accurate to say that I discovered The Satanic Bible, LaVey's other works, and The Church of Satan. Satanism, in a way, was like my nose - it was always with me, but I didn't always know the word for it.

I wouldn't say that my attractions were always towards the "darker" things in life. My interests have been whatever I've found interesting. As a child, I found insects to be extremely interesting (still do) along with other reptiles and mammals that many fear. However, butterflies and their metamorphosis is incredibly interesting to me as well. I like what I like, and care not if it is traditionally "dark" or "cute and pretty".

In High School, I too wore black clothing, but primarily because it's not as easy to stain rather than some feeling that I was a "dark" individual. Black, after all, is a color that matches any fashion choice.

I didn't hate sports in school, and in fact found much benefit from competitions and physical fitness. I suppose I can say I was drawn more towards the ones where my personal performance wasn't dependent upon my fellow team mates, which is why I preferred track and cross country.

I was neither shunned nor extremely popular in school, and had a slew of friends, some closer than others. I can say, though, that of the friends I had, we were all thinkers and skeptics. Not all of them were Satanists (or any, from what I could tell) but I had good company with them, and it was productive.

All that being said, I discovered LaVey's work when I switched from reading fiction to primarily nonfiction. I enjoyed the work of Henry Rollins and his anecdotal stories, and when looking for the next Rollins book to read, saw Marilyn Manson's autobiography. I read through it, and found the portion on his meeting with LaVey to open up my curiousity. As a skeptic, I assumed his work would likely be that of just another religious nut, but pointed towards the dark side rather than the typical white light stuff. I picked up first "Satan Speaks" and was pleasantly surprised. Within his essays, I found whit, rationality, and a healthy middle finger.

Immediately, I purchased The Satanic Bible, and found that my own thoughts, feelings, and conclusions had previously been laid out and published in 1969. There was nothing I disagreed with, and instead, found philosophy I already was living with, and applications of it I had yet to entertain.

Since reading The Satanic Bible, it has been enjoyable to have a term more accurate than mere "atheist". It has also been a pleasure that, when meeting other Satanists (who know what they are) they are not a cliché of black clothing and depression (that's called "goth") but instead, vibrant individuals with much variety from one to the next.

The measure of a Satanist, I think, is not how "dark" their clothing is, nor how much people have shunned them. It's not whether they like or dislike sports, snakes, butterflies, or pancakes. It's that they think in unique, rational ways, are successfully avoiding misery in their lives, are productive and talented in their chosen fields of effort, and, of course, find themselves described in The Satanic Bible.
_________________________
"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence."
-Carl Sagan

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#475575 - 06/28/12 02:09 PM Re: I can't say it was "dark". [Re: Mason_Rust]
Mr_Darkside Offline


Registered: 06/17/12
Posts: 14
Loc: England, UK
I wasn't meaning to say that because of my choice in clothing was the reason I "became" something or another. I was just being a dick of a rebellious teen who wanted to horrify my mother. This is just how I was born. I never knew there was a name for the lifestyle I have lived, or the beliefs and views I hold. It just happened to be revealed to me through the works of LaVey. I take great pride in who I am as a person, I am sure that I am getting the most of my life in the here and now, and that is something no one will ever, or could ever take away from me.

On a side note, now in my mid twenties I am more likely to customise my own clothes than walk around in a band t-shirt I got from a record shop. I love being asked "wow where did you get that?" and being able to say I made it. I am very creative and like to express myself in that way.
Marilyn Manson is one of my all time favourite bands. His lyrics and themes are at times genius. Infact, just today I sat listening to Mechanical Animals on my lunch break :-)

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#475587 - 06/28/12 03:43 PM Re: I can't say it was "dark". [Re: Mr_Darkside]
Mason_Rust Offline

CoS Member

Registered: 08/25/02
Posts: 1780
Loc: Michigan, USA
"I wasn't meaning to say that because of my choice in clothing was the reason I "became" something or another. I was just being a dick of a rebellious teen who wanted to horrify my mother."

I did not take it as being the reason. My apologies if what I wrote implies that I did. Rather, I wanted to just point out that Satanists come from many different walks of life. I could see the popular blonde cheerleader being a Satanist in high school (in fact, aren't there some here on this board?) along with the science nerds (that'd be me, but with some muscle), the preps (who probably make a LOT of money these days), the bullies (don't mess with them...well actually, any of us), along with the metal heads. That's all I was trying to address.
_________________________
"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence."
-Carl Sagan

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#475646 - 06/29/12 03:03 PM Re: How did you discover Satanism? [Re: Mr_Darkside]
TheMerryRose Offline


Registered: 06/25/12
Posts: 54
Loc: the City Of Sin.
My mother actually dedicatied me to Satan on the day I was born. I dont think I realy discoverd satanism untill I was 13 though, That was when I chose the religion/philosophy for myself. Pluse she was much more of a reversed christan then a satanist.


Edited by TheMerryRose (06/29/12 03:06 PM)
_________________________
tiki You don't get to make the rules in my house! - T. M. R. tiki

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#475653 - 06/29/12 07:46 PM Re: How did you discover Satanism? [Re: TheMerryRose]
Gemini Offline


Registered: 03/24/12
Posts: 40
Loc: New Zealand
I was brought up a Catholic.
A turning point in my life was when i was about 27 when i hit rock bottom and wanted out.

I then realised, at that low point that it was only me and me alone that decides the course of my life no "man in the clouds"

After that i became an athiest.
Later on i read a Q and A article in a magazine with Dr Lavey.
From then on i knew i wanted to study his books and align myself with the ideals he promoted.

Only after that did i really realise the non responsibility ideal the church promotes and the burden of guilt they push as well.

Glad to say now , that shit is not my concern any more.

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#476056 - 07/07/12 12:32 AM Re: How did you discover Satanism? [Re: Mr_Darkside]
Old_Pig Offline


Registered: 11/27/02
Posts: 3969
Loc: The Deep South
I didn't discover Satanism. One day I was minding my own business and Satanism discovered me.
_________________________
You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once.
Robert A. Heinlein


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#476173 - 07/08/12 10:27 AM Re: How did you discover Satanism? [Re: Mr_Darkside]
deon24 Offline


Registered: 07/07/12
Posts: 18
I was always considered different because of things i was into. Such as music, art, reading, and tons of other things a teen wouldnt normally be into, espcially being apart of the black community i got a lot of hassles for my differences. My family always preached to me about God and going to heaven and living in the name of the lord, But being that i was the way i was i could no longer buy into a lie that they're feeding me. SO i began doing research myself on many different religious beliefs and philosophies. The day I stumbled upon Dr.Lavey's Satanic Bible online and read it briefly. I went to my nearest barnes and nobles and bought me a copy. MY mind was blown after reading, and after a period of time of me being "lost" and not knowing what to believe. I found something that pushes exactly whats been running though my head for years of my youth.

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#476252 - 07/09/12 12:18 AM Re: How did you discover Satanism? [Re: Mr_Darkside]
J. Favenris Offline



Registered: 04/12/09
Posts: 152
Loc: Portland, Oregon
This is a bit of a long read, but I hope it brings enjoyment to a select few.

Growing up, I was never drawn to anything remotely "demonic" or "evil", but rather held certain Nietzschean ideas that emphasized looking at herd conformity as a vice, and the continuous need to better yourself in the naturally stratified society which operates based on Social Darwinism.

Anything close to "magick" or "spirituality" was given my scorn, and I always disliked the main philosophy behind Christianity, but noticed that the anti-life and anti-human components of Christianity were not limited to that religion alone. It was found in new liberal movements or hippie culture, in where dependence on leaders to show you the way was seen as a good thing, and turning the other cheek and leeching via Nietzche's slave morality idea was rampant.

From there Ayn Rand's 1964 The Virtue of Selfishness: A New Concept of Egoism as well as Objectivism became central parts of my life in the sense that I was excited and glad that other people felt the same way I did. However, I did not like that she dismissed all religious activity as useless. There is a psychological element to ritual, prayer, deities, Gods, and other spiritual things that obviously serve a mental need within the human animal to be happy, otherwise people wouldn't be so fanatic about rockstars, politicians, celebrities, or doing ritualistic things like getting married, celebrating birthdays, performing funerals, etc.

Then I read Marilyn Manson's autobiography and upon his positive nod to Anton LaVey and real Satanism, I decided to give the religion a chance and read The Satanic Bible. Within it, I didn't find anything stupid having to do with animal sacrifices or magick mumbo wizard jumbo, but rather the gray line between psychology and religion.

The symbology within Satanism, including the infamous Sigil of Baphomet, did not seem anything different than Marilyn Manson utilizing the Cross of Lorraine, the stars and stripes on an American flag, or a sports mascot. Symbols, flags, slogans, have always been used by the human animal to represent a concept, whether it be in a corporation, war, sports team, etc.

From there on I found that a more accurate and specific label for myself is Satanist, because upholding the Milton or Ancient Hebrew definition of Satan encompassed a lot of ideas that represented things I already felt were right. Perhaps the symbol of Satan is no longer as relevant to society for a new Übermenschen creed as it was in 1966, but the philosophy and ideas inside The Satanic Bible have always been utilized by people who have brought society to a more Renaissance-like and secular level, and within the elite levels of the Church of Satan are not kooks or losers, but people who have mastered life in all of its different levels: interpersonally, financially, health-based, and pretty much whatever you can think of.

Peter H. Gilmore has done an excellent job of continuing the aesthetic terrorism of Satanism, and the people who are among the religion are those who are not stupid, but rather embrace the philosophical aspects of the religion, whatever it be called.


Edited by Favenris (07/09/12 12:19 AM)
_________________________
"Training is nothing! The will is everything! The will to act." - Ra's al Ghul

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#476254 - 07/09/12 12:43 AM Re: How did you discover Satanism? [Re: Mr_Darkside]
Dax9 Offline

CoS Member

Registered: 10/16/10
Posts: 768
Loc: near Baton Rouge, LA
Putting it very simply it was when I discovered The Satanic Bible in a B Dalton Bookseller over two decades ago.

After that nature just took its course.

HS!
_________________________
"The difference between the man or woman who's a practicing Satanist, from an identity Satanist is that the practicing Satanist looks at the picture, while the identity Satanist studies the frame."
-- Anton Szandor LaVey

"Anyone without a sense of humor is too pretentious to be a good magician."
-- Anton Szandor LaVey

Life Everlasting

World Without End





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#480734 - 09/19/12 08:23 AM Re: How did you discover Satanism? [Re: Mr_Darkside]
Cain Smith Offline


Registered: 09/12/12
Posts: 39
Well, some good day I was searching something on Internet and then I don't remember why but I finished reading the FAQ's of the website of the Church of Satan grin
I don't remember if it was one or two months after that but I remember that I was walking in the street when I saw a kind of bookstore that sold old books grin
I looked through the books and I found a copy of the satanic bible (in Spanish) I bought it and I read it in detail.
Since then I consider myself as satanist grin
It happened when I was 13 coopdevil
_________________________
He that is slow to believe anything and everything is of great understanding, for belief in one false principle is the beginning of all unwisdom.
-The Book Of Satan 2:7-




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#480756 - 09/19/12 04:31 PM Re: How did you discover Satanism? [Re: Mr_Darkside]
Alonocus Blight Offline

CoS_Member

Registered: 10/31/11
Posts: 211
Loc: NC
I had always been attracted to the “dark side,” but I never knew that there was a particular term that applied to me.
When I was in my teens in high school, I wore black a lot and was in a gang called the Hell Patrol. It was our “anti-hero” version of the “preps’” gang which was known as the Pearl Street Posse (P.S.P.). We never did anything illegal aside from fighting jocks at football games, etcetera. Most of my friends didn’t participate in athletics during high school, but I was involved in track and field and wrestling. It’s interesting to note that like Mason Rust, I too was involved in individual sports. The sport that I excelled in the most was power lifting and I took a gold medal in 1994 at the state highs school power lifting meet. I was very proud of myself, as I had not excelled in other sports.
After high school, I became interested in Wicca and studied under a mentor for a short time. I met my first wife at a metaphysical shop in our hometown. At that time in my life, I was searching for the darker side of me and of life. I would listen to and ponder the lyrics of King Diamond and Mercyful Fate. I later married the girl from the metaphysical shop.
Somehow we became involved in Christianity for many years. As time passed in our marriage, I became a guilt-laden slave to Christianity with all the “bells and whistles.” There was a time when I drove the church bus to pick up the kids for Sunday school. On one particular occasion, the church’s pastor had to ride with me to the gas station to refuel the bus. When we arrived at the gas station there was a feeling in me that was hard to shake. I looked over at the feeble man that preached the philosophy of a risen zombie that pushed slavery and passivity over aggression and deliberation. I kept thinking to myself, “I would like to punch this man right in the nose and shatter his spectacles and watch him bleed!” “Then I will strangle him with my bare hands.” But, I fought off the sinister urge. At the time I didn’t fully understand my feelings. Later on I realized that my contempt for the preacher revolved around the notion that I was merely working for a “good guy badge” which the church’s committee dangled over my gullible head.
I was in the Army then as well. Later my wife and I moved with the Army to Colorado. We found a different but similar church to attend there. I quickly became involved in the church’s choir and was satisfied with my life for a time. But, strange things kept happening to me of which I had a hard time dealing with. One noteworthy detail was when I began remembering all of the dark and wonderful music that I used to listen to as a teen. I would be driving the 45 miles to work and absolutely have to listen to some black metal. When the local radio station wouldn’t play my odd requests, I began to download the lyrics to my favorite songs so that I could perform them a cappella. Later on, I started telling my former wife that I was working late just to get out of church. I would pull up to our house which was 45 miles from Fort Carson after my wife and kids had already left for church and the house would be empty for hours. I would quickly get busy performing a cappella versions of my favorite King Diamond, Mercyful Fate and Judas Priest songs. I was still involved with the church choir and I was asked to perform a trio, music special for the Sunday service. I did my best to incorporate some falsetto and timing changes into my parts to make the song sound heavier. The song was performed on Sunday morning, and recorded as well. But the song did not become publically available because of the way that I sang my parts.
I later deployed to Afghanistan in support of Operation Enduring Freedom 10. While deployed, I became increasingly fascinated with the carnality of life and the selfish pleasures of which I had denied myself for so very long. In my spare time I read many, various horror stories including Alfred Hitchcock, Stephen King, and Clive Barker. Additionally, I would spend my spare time reading the works of Aleister Crowley and the works of the Order of Nine Angles. All the while I was fascinated by the philosophy and music of King Diamond and Mercyful Fate and I practiced my growling and scream singing every chance that I got. I also began an affair with the beautiful woman of my life who is now my wife. My antics at work while deployed attracted the attention of one particular individual who identified himself as a former Satanist. He challenged me to read the Satanic Bible. When I couldn’t find a copy of TSB, I ordered TSB and TSS from Amazon. When the books came in I tore through them and saw myself in the captivating, bold words of Anton LaVey. I began performing the rituals as outlined in the TSB with the minimal accoutrements necessary for productive rituals and I truly saw greater magic working for me. During the deployment I realized that I could not just let the love of my life simply slip through my fingers as the sands near the sea. And so, I made a deliberate commitment to live a life of happiness and prosperity instead of a life of entrapments and religious slavery.
My girlfriend and I were later caught together and we were both dealt with, compliments of the uniform code of military justice. However, after I proposed to her, we made secret arrangements to divorce our former spouses so that we could legally marry each other after the deployment.
After the deployment and a re-read of TSB and TSS, I married my new wife, who accepts and loves me just the way that I am and I mailed off my request to become an active member with the Church of Satan.
One thing that kept me going through the turmoil that arose during the deployment was a quote from TSB which says, “Blessed are those that believe in what is best for them, for never shall their minds be terrorized.”
_________________________
"Satanic Story Time is a podcast which takes the listener on a journey through fiction's satanic history." http://www.satanicstorytime.com/

"Life is the great indulgence--death, the great abstinence. Therefore, make the most of life--HERE AND NOW!"

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#480759 - 09/19/12 05:47 PM Re: How did you discover Satanism? [Re: Mr_Darkside]
Robert K Stock Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 08/22/12
Posts: 39
Loc: El Reno, Oklahoma
I saw an ad for the Satanic Bible on Amazon.com and wanted to see what the Church of Satan had to say about the occult. When I recieved my copy of the Satanic Bible I did not find anything about the occult. However, by happy accident I found the same rational egoist philosophy that I had been trying to apply in my life for the past twenty years.

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#480884 - 09/22/12 12:37 AM Re: How did you discover Satanism? [Re: Robert K Stock]
mercfocus Offline


Registered: 09/01/12
Posts: 20
Loc: San Diego CA
How did I discover Satanism? Facebook

Someone shared "this is awkward"s photo.

It had a top and bottom part:
On the top part, it showed VP candidate Ryan quoted as saying something like- All my philosophies on capitolism and self improvement come from Ayn Rand's philosophies (paraphrased). Note identifies him as the VP candidate.
On the bottom part: It showed Anton Lavey and him saying something like- My philosohpy is alot of Ayn Rand's with rituals and religion (paraphrased). Then it identifies him as the founder of the Church of Satan.

This was about over a month ago. I'd never seen or heard of Anton Lavey or the Church of Satan before that but since I have a very personal and sincere resentment against xtians, I immediately started Google searching things. Found out who lavey was and all about the Satanic Bible and that it is readily available at Barnes and Noble and Amazon! Holy shit!

I read the SB in just a few short days. I didn't read books that well or that fast when I was in college.

The rest is recent history.

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#480950 - 09/23/12 06:55 AM Re: How did you discover Satanism? [Re: Mr_Darkside]
Juliana Offline


Registered: 09/23/12
Posts: 1
Loc: England
I discovered Satanism from a special edition of the Classic
Rock Magazine, dealing with the link that Hard Rock and Metal have to Satanism.
Obviously, very curious about it, I looked up Church of Satan on Wikipedia, read it and then clicked the link for the CoS website.
I bought a copy of the Satanic Bible from Amazon, quickly followed by all the other books the Church requires you read.

I have always been an atheist, very unconventional and drawn to the dark side, not truly knowing what I was but, of course, I do now. Satanism has helped me peel away the remaining layers of convention and mediocrity to be the person I really want to be.

Hail Satan.


Edited by Juliana (09/23/12 07:04 AM)

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#481313 - 10/02/12 11:32 AM Re: How did you discover Satanism? [Re: Mr_Darkside]
ConquerOrPerish Offline


Registered: 11/29/07
Posts: 228
Loc: DC Metro Area
I was raised Anglican because of Pascal's Wager but I started thinking about it and it didn't make logical sense. I started reading the Bible and it made even less sense. I lost my faith and found I didn't need it. The only good it did was circular: to escape it's own final end, that is hell.

A few years ago after I graduated from Ivy, I started reflecting on the injustices of the world. I was particularly upset about how multiculturalism excuses sexist practices in other cultures, saying, you know, "oh well that's their culture."

I mentioned it to a pen pal, an Australian Calvinist. He said that's because in this world might is still right. Women are weak and at the mercy of whatever men they find themselves around, all over the world, but much less so in the West due to freedom and chivalry. I was intrigued by the phrase might is right and randomly put the phrase into Amazon. I found my favorite read Might is Right Survival of the Fittest. You know how when you order a book Amazon suggests other books? Well they were all Satanic books. So I absorbed them and knew I had found my home.

That's the short of it.
_________________________
"I, even I, am my own redeemer". -Ragnar Redbeard

"Making a difference makes sense only if you are convinced that you have mastered the subject at hand to the point where any difference you might make would be for the better." -Thomas Sowell


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#481626 - 10/13/12 12:32 AM Re: How did you discover Satanism? [Re: Mr_Darkside]
Zeviander Offline


Registered: 10/12/12
Posts: 26
Loc: MB, Canada
Nothing in particular really. Both my forays into the world of Mr. LaVey's work were happened upon by mere coincidence.

The first, in high school, largely because I was rebellious (for a high-achiever, this meant less physical, and more mental types of action; such as purposefully avoiding the capitalization of the Abrahamic "God" in a class whose teacher was devoutly religious), so while it appealed to this attitude I had at the time, it had no resonance within my actual person.

The second time was earlier this year (approximately a decade later). As I had mentioned in my intro thread, I had a non-religious religious experience that altered how I perceived reality (as a connected whole of matter and energy, with no discernable purpose or direction) that involved Alan Moore's "Watchmen" and a concentrated frustration with my efforts in trying to find a religion (hint: I found nothing but myself in the universe and truly "lived in the moment" for several hours).

A couple months later, I was working full time nights and needed things to kill time (and keep me awake amid severe illness; staying up that late destroyed my immune system). Out of the blue, I decide to read The Satanic Bible (admittedly, a digital copy ill-gotten of the internet; but this is why I was working nights, I could barely pay the bills) and pretty much finished it in a single sitting.

This is when the resonance really came forwards. Even the parts regarding ritual and magic (something I could never understand it's place in other religion... I was looking at it as an intellectual, not trying to "experience it") which actually made sense, and gave me insight as to how I can read people through body language much easier than their words.

For several months after (until present) I have been largely uninterested in any sort of intellectual pursuit, but have begun striving to do more with my life ("career apathy" kicked in) and have begun reading again. I started with several religious texts I enjoyed a while back, but found them boring and useless. Picked up the SB again and was drawn right back into a world of insight and interesting ideas.

Ever since playing Doom II: Hell On Earth at the age of 8, I have found great resonance with all manner of satanic imagery, whether associated with the CoS or otherwise. The inverted pentagram, occurrences of patterns of "6's" and macabre themes have always drawn my interest.

All in all, I'd say I am incredibly inexperienced with Satanism from an academic perspective... and absolutely inexperienced with it in an applied sense with my life. A lot of the basic framework strikes home true, but I have a lot of personal and psychological hangups that prevent me from really grabbing life by the balls and indulging without compulsion (excessive eating is a big problem for me). That, and I have a complex that makes me paranoid about what others are thinking about me leftover from childhood bullying, causing self-image issues, yada yada yada.

My hope is that the honourable LaVey's work, and that of his respected allies, will help me overcome my hangups, so I can start enjoying life completely free.
_________________________
"Man can focus his mind to a full, active, purposefully directed awareness of reality - or he can unfocus it and let himself drift in a semiconscious daze..." ~ Ayn Rand

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#481647 - 10/13/12 03:56 PM Re: How did you discover Satanism? [Re: Mr_Darkside]
Lilibeta Offline


Registered: 12/06/08
Posts: 157
Loc: Alberta, Canada
My parents were rabid Catholics who tried to force their beliefs on me. At one point I took the attitude that my allegiance was for sale. Which ever deity stepped up and gave me what I wanted, had my devotion. None stepped up. In the end, I made my dreams come true. I was the god that answered my prayers. Pretty simple but I did my best to complicate the matter.

Mistaking my love of nature for paganism, I joined a Wiccan group and was promptly ear-marked for the priesthood. I enjoyed the knowledge and the community but a lot of them just made my skin crawl, bunch of tree-hugging hippies with their 'perfect love and perfect trust'. I didn't love or trust any of of them but I enjoyed belonging and the sharing of knowledge so I stayed.

Part of the priesthood training was to learn about other religions. I picked up the Satanic Bible, something no one else did. Fascinating, honest read. It was like someone holding up a mirror to me. However my teachers were less than enthusiastic.

He's a charlatan. Nothing he writes is true. He's hiding the truth. You have to watch out for him. He used to work in a carnival, what does that tell you? I've met him, he's very charismatic. Don't read that again.
That's what I was told. Ok, maybe they're wrong and maybe they're right. Let's wait and see.

I missed a class, I missed a circle. Why weren't you at class? Why weren't you at circle? You know, if you want to be a priestess.... To learn you must suffer.... A lot of things came together at once and I realized that I wasn't being honest with myself and I was cheating the others. I walked, from the church and from Wicca.

One wintery morning while I was packing away my Wicca books I found TSB. I opened it and began to read. The next thing I knew I was reaching to turn on a light because it was night.

I've said before that for me, faith has always been work; a constant fight against my own nature to attempt to be what others have said that I should want to be. I decided at that moment as I turned on the light, that I was done fighting.
_________________________

For my sins I will ask no forgiveness. For my sins they are not to forgive.

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#481700 - 10/14/12 04:46 PM Re: How did you discover Satanism? [Re: Zeviander]
DamnedLucky Offline

CoS Member

Registered: 08/03/06
Posts: 371
Loc: Massachusetts, USA
First off, welcome to the boards. I was going to say that in your intro post but wanted to respond to this.

Originally Posted By: Zeviander
Out of the blue, I decide to read The Satanic Bible (admittedly, a digital copy ill-gotten of the internet; but this is why I was working nights, I could barely pay the bills) and pretty much finished it in a single sitting.


If that ill-gotten copy is still the only one in your possession then you are ripping off whomever owns the copyright (Blanche Barton?) It is not an expensive book, and from what you've written it sounds like it's had enough of an impact on your life to justify the purchase, even if a year from now you decide this just isn't for you.

Perhaps you've already made the purchase. If so, and if it's the only one of the canon you own, I'd recommend The Church of Satan next. It's an excellent introductory book.

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#481712 - 10/14/12 08:10 PM Re: How did you discover Satanism? [Re: Mr_Darkside]
CWH Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 04/23/05
Posts: 3746
When I was in high school I had a girlfriend whose brother had a copy of the Satanic Bible. I picked it up, but was too chicken-shit to even open it up; like I was going to get struck by lightning or something. That was in 1996 or '97, I believe.

In 2004 I was deployed in Iraq. I ran into another Marine that was carrying it and I asked him if I could borrow it.

I read it and of course I'm sure you can guess what happened next. I actually cursed myself for not reading it the first time I encountered it. In 2005, on my 25th birthday, I became a registered member of the CoS.

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#481720 - 10/15/12 12:29 AM Re: How did you discover Satanism? [Re: CWH]
Janina Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 12/06/11
Posts: 1489
Loc: Center of my own Universe
Originally Posted By: CWH
I'm sure you can guess what happened next. I actually cursed myself for not reading it the first time I encountered it.


Obviously your "process" started already when you first saw the book though you did not read it and recognize your Satanism in first place.

I see that we are naturally born this way, but we all have to do some job to find it out who we are and where should we stand. Some people find it easy way, some harder. Still cause Satanism supports us to be the way we naturally are it does not change so much in one´s nature. For that reason cursing yourself for letting the book off your hands without reading it is counter productive way to see this issue. You have read the book later and are member as a result of that. Everything else is just steps leading to the point you are standing today!
_________________________
Devil´s Advocate

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