Well well well... after a bit of a hiatus, I've returned to the network refreshed and pleasantly surprised! I'm rather glad that the activity here seems to be picking up from where it was when I first found this particular corner of the internet, as I had high hopes of the satanic community in general.
Now... on to the good stuff.
I consider myself a perpetual seeker, always striving to find and understand what purity there is left in our much-diluted world, and often I allow that to drag me from my plotted course in this world. However, if there's one thing that I always find myself returning to time and time again, it's the Church of Satan
. As such, when recently entered into a periodic purge of my subjective world, I found that my "holocaust of artifice" as I referred to it... had left me aching for some type of REAL interaction.
Now, let's please not confuse my desire to find truly kindred spirits with a neurotic compulsion toward acceptance or some adolescent need to "fit in." I've tried that path... and it was rather disturbing how EASY it really was to simply appear to fit the egalitarian mold that so many others seem unable to escape, and to be accepted blindly as one of the herd... it amazed me how dangerously close so many people were willing to let me get without so much as an inkling that I was an invader in their midst, and I walked away disgusted.
My failing has been idealism I believe... in my case the idea that everyone possessed some nugget of purity and realism that was just aching to be awakened so that they too could strive to see the world as it really is. It has been hard for me to accept and internalize that the majority of people... as Doctor LaVey illuminated all those years ago... simply are not capable, and that it is, in fact, better that way. This is a fact that in my overly-compassionate idealism, it's been difficult for me to really grok, but after the last two years of life... I suddenly found myself truly understanding the need for stratification in society... and that might truly is right.
So, now, after having spent many months studying the general writings of various satanic minds and re-reading Dr. LaVey's works, as well as the works of High Priest Gilmore, I've found myself in a quite interesting place in my development, I no-longer find myself trying to understand the practical application of satanic principals in my world... as I've been able to finally realize that I <i>already do</i> apply them quite effectively, and with GREAT success. As a matter of fact, I owe much of my survival to the application of Dr LaVey's concepts of lesser magic and his succinct presentation of his practical guidelines for social interaction, the Eleven Rules.
As such, as it sit here rampantly banging away at the keys... with those of you who have succeeded in reading through this and any others who dare to listen as my witnesses... I'm finally prepared to proclaim... I am, and always have been, a satanist. It's time for me to begin the process of earning my affiliation and engaging in the battle for my rightful place in the world, leaving behind the chaff of the mindless haunted masses behind.