I'm thrilled to hear you say that you have been working on sobriety, Mercocus. It's a worthy endeavor to obtain control over the things that we realize have control over us. Keep at it.
Yeah... So you developed a philosophy and found out it wasn't so original after all.
Welcome to the club.
Here's the good news: It gets even better than you might have imagined. You just have to keep digging.
There is more to discover that someone else already figured out.
It all started over 18 years ago actually. I first started trying to get sober in churches. I read the whole bible (from genesis to revelation, every word on every page) . Did all their prayers the way they said to, tried to be of every kind of service I could like they said to, and still no recovery. I was in and out constantly for about 6 years or more. I even got court ordered into AA in the last 2 of those years.
My sobriety date (the one that finally worked) is March 17, 2001. It was at about that time that I decided, all that shit was a waste of time and I'm going to have to do this myself. If I can't do it, then nobody ever could have. I did go back to AA and never stepped foot in another church ever again unless a AA meeting was there.
What I remebered about AA is I could customize it. So I made "reality/the air around me" my higher power. I felt like, and still do, the air we breath has more substance than all this "only god can do it" bullshit. I never prayed ever again and decided faith was an "f" word I will live just fine without.
It has been over 11 1/2 years of successful sobriety. In that time, I've earned 2 college degrees, both with highest honors, and I no longer need those meetings. I didn't go to hardly any when I was in school for over 5 years. I graduated last December and have since started going back to meetings so I can be part of the population that helps keep the doors open for someone who might need help. I don't talk with them too much about my concept of higher powers and recovery. Most of those people are confused about the strength of "self-will". They think it's dangerous.
Reality as my HP evolved into MY RIGHTFUL PLACE in reality and then just recently, I found the Satanic Bible that COMPLETELY confirmed my experience.