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#483478 - 12/02/12 09:50 AM Turning the other cheek
AdamBomb Offline


Registered: 05/25/11
Posts: 75
Doing unto others as they have done unto you is not a bad philosophy. I personally enjoy treating others they like to be treated and if the person remains a jerk to me, it only makes them the bad person and not me. Especially, on the job I'd like to have that sense of respect and appreciation that I am out there to make everyone succeed and help them in as many ways possible.
I keep a very polite attitude at all times and expect the same of everyone else to do so to me. If not, then we will not be working with each other for long. When an employee gets upset at me, I simply don't retaliate back at this employee and escalate a situation in the work environment. I also feel much better about myself being the stronger person and resisting anger by not letting something get to me.
It is an empowering feeling to me to leave that negative energy with the person and make them dumb and weak by getting so upset easily and me ultimately basking in kindness.

I'm curious about others here (not only COS members) on their views about turning the other cheek and it benefiting them.

PS - I respect the COS views on life and am NOT challenging them at all. In fact, I agree with a decent amount of Lavey's teachings. I am just simply curious about certain topics and how people deal with them.

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#483480 - 12/02/12 12:27 PM Re: Turning the other cheek [Re: AdamBomb]
Bill_M Offline
CoS Reverend

Registered: 07/28/01
Posts: 11460
Loc: New England, USA
Quote:
When an employee gets upset at me, I simply don't retaliate back at this employee and escalate a situation in the work environment.

There are reasons why "Counterproductive Pride" is in the sins list, as well as reasons why companies often have an HR department for policing bad activity.

Originally Posted By: AdamBomb
I'm curious about others here (not only COS members) on their views about turning the other cheek and it benefiting them.


Aside from the obvious Satanic statement #5, have you read "The Satanic Bible"? I thought this was adequately covered in the chapter "Some Evidence of a New Satanic Age".
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#483485 - 12/02/12 01:18 PM Re: Turning the other cheek [Re: AdamBomb]
TheAbysmal Offline


Registered: 09/22/06
Posts: 1017
Quote:
I'm curious about others here (not only COS members) on their views about turning the other cheek and it benefiting them.


Well, since you're polling opinions, I suppose I'll share mine.

I sometimes turn the other cheek, depending on the severity of what someone else has done to me. For me, it comes down to "What do I really want here?" I try to be smart about it, not to invest my time and energy in a full scale war or overkill retaliation for a simple slight.

Sometimes, a simple slight against me is just a signal to me to figure out where the other person is. Maybe that rude remark is just the other person acting out because he or she is having a bad day. I can let it slide, or I can make his or her day even worse, and possibly my own.

Hit me hard enough, however, and turning the other cheek may very well prove an excellent strategy. He or she gets overconfident, lets down his or her guard...

Then, sometimes still, immediate retaliation in kind is just what the doctor ordered.

Some people sow self-destruction so thoroughly into their lives that retaliation need be nothing more than grabbing some fresh popcorn to enjoy the show. smile
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#483487 - 12/02/12 03:33 PM Re: Turning the other cheek [Re: AdamBomb]
Insurgent Offline
CoS Member

Registered: 08/08/01
Posts: 2303
You can only "turn the other cheek" when you are actually struck (harmed) in some meaningful way. I do not ever turn the other cheek.

That said, if I retaliate when I don't have to (as in I have not been struck but an attempt has been made) then it's only to enlighten the other. That's only if I think that it will affect the person in the desired way, otherwise it's a waste of time. I do believe life lessons are cumulative across the species as a whole.

Otherwise, anger that serves no beneficial purpose one way or another is something that I think should be relinquished.

Retaliation when one has to is never a question. Turning the other cheek is therefore never valid.
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#483490 - 12/02/12 04:12 PM Re: Turning the other cheek [Re: Insurgent]
TheAbysmal Offline


Registered: 09/22/06
Posts: 1017
So, you view it less as a continuum, and more integrally: either or. Interesting.

It's a useful perspective. smile
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#483496 - 12/02/12 05:43 PM Re: Turning the other cheek [Re: AdamBomb]
anna Online


Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 210
Loc: Poland
I think that you mean being able to control your emotions rather than turning the other cheek. If you got mad over trivial matters you would be simply petty. A professional does not let his emotions run away with him.

Turning the other cheek is an overused phrase. Many people are so "forgiving" because they have no opportunity to rip their enemies to shreds.

Imagine that your boss is a real asshole. (Most people do not have to imagine this, they know this from experience.) You would gladly speak your mind to him or, even better, punch him in the face or kick him in the butt. However, you will not do it, because you are afraid of losing your job. It takes a bit of courage to admit to yourself that you are angry, frustrated and anxious, that you feel exploited, humiliated and powerless. Moreover, a feeling of shame may appear, if you are too honest with yourself. So why not just "forgive" your boss, turn the other cheek and suffer nobly to boost your ego. You will feel better if you manage to convince yourself that your morals are higher than those of your boss.
And then you come back home and get mad at your wife because the soup is not warm enough. mad

Some people in certain situations are capable of forgiving others. For example, a wife forgives her husband for betraying her. She is furious at first and full of sorrow but she gets over it, because she really loves the guy and gives him the second chance. She also does it for the sake of their children. Or a mother can forgive her child, a troublesome teenager, who stole her jewellery to buy drugs.

However, love and forgiveness are not stupidity, irresponsibility or bullshitting yourself. A responsible mother will forgive her son, she will not throw him out of the house but she will make him get a treatment of his addiction. The wife will give her husband one more chance, if she wishes so, but she will not tolerate his love affairs over and over again. Love and kindness have their limits.
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#483520 - 12/03/12 11:05 AM Re: Turning the other cheek [Re: AdamBomb]
Zeviander Offline


Registered: 10/12/12
Posts: 26
Loc: Canada
Striking back does not necessarily mean physically, nor does it mean it has to happen immediately. An indiscretion that goes unpunished will encourage the attacking party to continue doing it. Especially in a work environment.

Being unwilling to treat others like they treat you could be seen as a sign of weakness. However, of course, one must be able to see the masochists for who they are, and avoid accordingly.

Interacting with people is a most complicated dance of wit, intellect and emotion, that can easily drive all but the most skilled to the point of insanity.
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#483521 - 12/03/12 01:10 PM Re: Turning the other cheek [Re: AdamBomb]
TrojZyr Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 07/25/01
Posts: 12982
Loc: The Solid State
I tend to take the long view, and act accordingly.

There are plenty of situations in life where sniping someone directly in the moment isn't the wisest or best response, for any number of reasons.

There are situations where appearing to turn the other cheek, or appearing to let something slide, will actually win you more admiration, privileges, and kudos in the long run.

And, there are oodles of potential ways to stick it to somebody, above and beyond coming at them with a bat, or flaming their Facebook page, or filling their shoes with clay, or any of the other dumb, impulsive, often-illegal routes people knee-jerkedly choose to go down. It's rightly said, for example, that success is the best revenge, and there are many potential ways to attain success and self-satisfaction in one's life.

So, that's that.
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#483528 - 12/03/12 06:38 PM Re: Turning the other cheek [Re: AdamBomb]
Callier Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 08/30/06
Posts: 2159
Loc: On my grind
Are you the employer by any chance? Because you said "employee" instead of co-worker. If so then why not just 'let them go'?
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#483531 - 12/03/12 09:19 PM Re: Turning the other cheek [Re: AdamBomb]
Shade Offline
CoS Witch

Registered: 07/08/06
Posts: 6130
Loc: In transit
Originally Posted By: AdamBomb
Doing unto others as they have done unto you is not a bad philosophy.


No, it's not. It's also not Christian, is it? I thought the infamous quote was about treating others the same way you want to be treated not about how you are treated ("do unto others as you would have them do unto you"). Your twist is a lot closer to Satanic kind of reciprocity. Reminds me of this:

"Revenge is an act of style. For all practical matters, no one is known to come back from the dead after being avenged in the name of justice. However so, man can fight anything but his nature. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth will forever make better grammatical balance than turning the other cheek." ~ Bunraku

Originally Posted By: AdamBomb
I keep a very polite attitude at all times and expect the same of everyone else to do so to me.


I think it does reflect well on people when they can maintain their composure in any situation. It would be awesome if civility were the universal default and people weren't jerks 99.9% of the time. Having certain standards can help you choose who you spend time with but I think expecting... well, anything from people is a good way to give yourself a headache. You may as well just beat your head against a brick wall.

Re: dealing with jerks. Context, yadda yadda, it's going to depend on the situation, on the circumstances. We all know that. So, in general...

When I feel like flattering myself I tell people I've mellowed with age. It's a total lie. I still have a bad temper. My threshold may be a lot higher but I still have a short fuse. Nowadays, though, how I respond to a situation has more to do with whether or not I have the energy.

I usually don't. I don't want to deal with the continued drama and aggravation; it's too tedious and I can only take so much Tylenol. I prefer things simple and quiet. I try to figure out how long something is liable to give me a headache before I start what can't be easily stopped. But when I choose to start something, I own it. No one "makes me" react the way I do. I don't get to decide how people are going to treat me but I can decide what I do about it.
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#483544 - 12/04/12 03:34 AM Re: Turning the other cheek [Re: AdamBomb]
Labyrinthine Offline

CoS Member

Registered: 02/05/12
Posts: 500
Loc: America
Personally, if I am wronged by a stranger in some minor way like being cut off in traffic, I do my best to calm myself down and realize that merely my pride is hurt and I'm letting myself get rattled by some random asshole I'll never see again.

There's no point in staying angry, I'm not going to take the effort/risk to get even over really small stuff.

With co-workers I see once or more a week it gets more difficult, but generally: I treat them initially with benefit-of-the-doubt respect and manners, but if they don't return the favor, and instead take inconsiderate, rude, assholy actions towards me, my behavior towards them will change in kind.

BUT, I only will "Do unto others as they do unto me" to the extent that it is practical without totally blowing up work-place cooperation or getting unwanted attention from higher-ups: so usually, not very much, it is best to be more subtle.

Generally, it is more practical to do any sort of getting even behind the scenes, while remaining a smiling and polite face on the surface.

That is my take on the subject.
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#483641 - 12/07/12 12:43 AM Re: Turning the other cheek [Re: TrojZyr]
Dax9 Offline

CoS Member

Registered: 10/16/10
Posts: 699
Loc: near Baton Rouge, LA
Quote:
It's rightly said, for example, that success is the best revenge, and there are many potential ways to attain success and self-satisfaction in one's life.


Very much agreed.

And AdamBomb,

I think you are right in maintaining a professional attitude in the work place; it will always make you look superior to all your antagonists. Just don't assume that your bothersome coworkers will always improve their behavior toward you.

Remember the third Satanic sin: Solipsism.
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#483652 - 12/07/12 11:56 AM Re: Turning the other cheek [Re: AdamBomb]
verszou Offline



Registered: 09/05/07
Posts: 1810
Loc: Denmark
Originally Posted By: AdamBomb

I keep a very polite attitude at all times and expect the same of everyone else to do so to me. If not, then we will not be working with each other for long. When an employee gets upset at me, I simply don't retaliate back at this employee and escalate a situation in the work environment.


To my mind, you are not turning the other cheek here. When one doesn't enter into an escalating situation, turning the other cheek is not implied by that behaviour.

In some cases the employee can be trying to bait you into getting some kind of confrontation, but you don't have to go there - just like one doesn't have to reply to a troll on the internet smile

So, well done to you for not going there. I know from my own experience in middle management that it can be difficult at times to keep your calm when dealing with people. These days, having a manager who is younger than me, I find it interesting to not some of the insecurities I had myself in him and seeing him do things that I did myself but later found to have been counterproductive.
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#483655 - 12/07/12 03:21 PM Re: Turning the other cheek [Re: verszou]
Callier Offline
CoS Warlock

Registered: 08/30/06
Posts: 2159
Loc: On my grind
Originally Posted By: verszou
In some cases the employee can be trying to bait you into getting some kind of confrontation, but you don't have to go there


I don't know about anyone else here but if it were me, the employer, and I had an employee who kept trying to push my buttons, he would be 'let go' in a heartbeat.

Do you have any idea how many people out there looking for work? There are millions of people who would love to take this asshole's place. People that have jobs and don't respect people in the workplace shouldn't be working there.
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#483659 - 12/07/12 05:03 PM Re: Turning the other cheek [Re: Callier]
TheAbysmal Offline


Registered: 09/22/06
Posts: 1017
I agree. I also think this can be interpreted as "turning the other cheek".

It occurs to me, though it didn't in my first reply, that "turning the other cheek" can be an expression of personal power.

It can also be a sign of weakness or myopia if it is the only strategy used.

One of the fun sayings that gets tossed around a lot in my line of work is "Don't mistake my kindness for weakness." I've only ever heard it spoken from superior to subordinate. It's a bit of a threat, but it's also a nice verbal confirmation from the speaker that the next action won't be one of forgiveness, but of retribution.
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