To REALLY break free is to change your perspective.
Sounds like you already know what you don't want.
Now you might want to focus on what you DO want.
One critical thing you have mentioned is that you want to be happy.
My strongest advice right now is to not exchange one set of external chains for another.
External events give you the opportunity to be happy but they really do not CAUSE it.
Happiness is a choice.
Ongoing happiness is a habit.
Habits require that you do the same thing long enough that it becomes natural for you.
If you try to pin your happiness on meeting with other people (Satanists) then YOU are still not in control over choosing your happiness.
I strongly suggest that you NOT rely on having to have things be a certain way externally to start CHOOSING happiness right now.
Happiness is a feeling INSIDE of you.
You CHOOSE it or nothing outside of you will make it happen.
Notice things around you that do like, do enjoy, that do please you.
Decide that it really is important for you to want to feel that way more often.
Notice also what things take you in the opposite direction, away from happiness. Consider not dwelling on those things when you do not have to.
The great thing about Satanism is that it is not intended to make you dependent upon Satanism to be happy, fulfilled, enjoying and winning in your life.
It is intended to restore mastery and control of your life to YOU.
It can work even if NO ONE ELSE IN THE WORLD agrees with you.
It is a set of tools to be used and not just another costume to wear or identity to assume.
In my opinion, THAT is the most important thing to understand.
When you do get what I am talking about you will no longer feel compelled to find others to make you happy.
You will BE happy naturally more often than not.
THEN meeting with other Satanists may very well be the icing on your cake that makes for a delicious dessert.
Right now, in my opinion, the main course should be determining how you can use the tools of Satanism to get what you want - happiness.
Hopefully I've given you some direction on what that really requires and what you need to be doing to get that.