I too am new to this idea. I did go to the website and read quite a bit there. I too suffered a loss some years ago with the death of my son. It is a much older wound and I wanted to pass on this bit of advice about loss. It isn't going to leave you, you will not be the same person you were before the loss, part of the grieving process is letting that loss integrate and become part of who you are. To do otherwise is to fight your memories of your mother and deny your pain.
I have not explored the Theory and Practice
section completely as previously suggested, but I have obtained and read The Satanic Bible by Anton Szandor LaVey. It captivated me, I saw myself in the pages. Read it, for you have nothing to lose, it is, after all, just a book.