I just returned from a friend’s house in disgust. It seems they went to a major competitor of mine for something my business could have provided. When I asked why they went there they said their friend knew the owner. Now I’m concerned with the third rule of the earth. Do I take it as disrespect and not go there or let it slide. They acted like it wasn’t personal but I’ve known them for years and never did them wrong. They know business has been slow and I could use the money. To them it wasn’t a big deal. To me it is. This is a tough decision and I’m not exactly sure what to do. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

You could always curse the transaction to failure.

Would your "freinds" not be pretty sore, if what-ever the dealings happened to be, turned out all wrong for them?
Maybe that Owner is a schmuck, who has poor follow up business ethics, to further complicate the deal.

Otherwise, I would chalk it up to a lesson learned in "loyalty", and pursue the means to make your immediate discomfort a launch pad of IN THEIR FACE future prosperity.

You could even poison the well by forcing perceptions upon the friends who burned you.

examples:

"I would of given a ten percent discount off of that and beat his price...but, oh well...too late now! Not to mention my excellent service and backing, I hope you get what you paid for! If their is anything I can do to help..."

"I hope you know about this feature... that other guy might not of known about it, but it sure will help you out in the long run. He didn't mention it? Maybe you should go back and request his help, and get yourself what you need. Mention that it should be FREE, due to your troubles, you know..."

Being subtle, and not overt in the detractions of your foe give you the feel and look of the caring professional, minus the blatant bitterness of some-one scorned.

Having a knowing smile on your sinister mug, when people come to you, bitchin' about their good deals gone bad...that is frosting on the cake.

Mantra:
"Create chaos, then fashion what you will from it...Be a god!"

You list in your profile that you are a tattooist and piecer. If the business in question was a tattoo, have you considered that perhaps your friend liked the style of another tattooist better than what you provide? Which is not to say anything negative about your work, but it is a sensitive area, finding the right tattooist for a new work.

You also seem to have some expectation that they should have come to you. Now where is the disrespect, that you are miffed about your friend making a choice that excluded you and your business, or that you are feeling the way you do because someone did not do something that you would have liked them to do?

Of course, it would be nice and friendly for your friend to have given you his or her business, but are you in possession of all the facts? Did you believe the reason they gave for going elsewhere?

Personally, I think you should just get over it and go about your life. It also seems that you are walking a fine line with solipsism. You cannot expect another to do what you would do, in a similar situation.

Do you really think that they showed blatant disrespect for you and your business? Do you think that it is possible that their other friend got them a great deal that they could not pass up?

You said that business is slow right now. Now I do not know about your State but here in New York, we are paying school taxes, with businesses down sizing or moving out of State money is hard to come by right now for most. Of course, these are just thoughts.

Now I have a girlfriend who wants me to come into her shop and get my haircut. However, I am going to my sister-in-laws Friday evening and will get my haircut free. My thoughts on this are why pay twenty dollars for an inch to be cut off when I can get it free. When I decide to have, it all cut off and a new style done then I will be glad to pay the twenty dollars but until then I am not.

You might want to ask your friends what they paid for it and tell them that when they are ready to get any thing else done to let you know and you will give them a good deal. When someone gets a good deal, and quality work done, they tell their friends, and their friends will come.

Talk to them about it, see if they really meant anything personal. They probably didnt know it was so important to you.

Bitterness.

Some people hate to see others succeed (especially those close to them).

I've been self employed all my life and business is going well. However, for some people this really eats away at them. Always remember there are people (even ones you consider friends) who would love to see you fail.

I have a friend/costumer who does that to me a lot. Going to someone else for a job I could have done, in this case, repairing her computer.

The problem is every time she does it, that other "expert" just ruins something and she has go come back to me to fix the mess. At that point I have the double satisfaction hear her apologize and admitting my superior skills... and being paid for my work.

Maybe you can make your friends realize they made a mistake by going with someone else, and have they come back to you next time. Then you will have double the satisfaction of the ego boost and the cash reward.

“ Do you think that it is possible that their other friend got them a great deal that they could not pass up?”

They only saved $15 and we talked about it a week earlier. I would have gladly saved them more.

I did and they just seem incapable of seeing outside their little world. Which makes me think I need to let them go. If I never call them again they wouldn’t call me because they are an out of sight out of mind kind of people.

“If the business in question was a tattoo, have you considered that perhaps your friend liked the style of another tattooist better than what you provide?”

It was a tongue piercing so artistic style doesn’t come into play only proper placement.

“ It also seems that you are walking a fine line with solipsism.”

I’ve known them 13 years. We met at the shop in 1991. I’ve done work on her and her husband. The shop they went to was 1 mile from me and only opened 6 months ago. I’ve been there for them all these years. I think I deserve to be treated better.

“I would of given a ten percent discount off of that and beat his price...but, oh well...too late now!”

I’ve tried this but they just roll their eyes and act like I’m making a big deal out of it. After knowing me so long they should treat me with more thoughtfulness. I don’t think it’s to much to ask of them.

It's tough, but surely you can't force someone to buy from you, only you, even if that someone is your friend. You know these people more than I do, I can't make your decisions for you.

Is business that slow that one customer makes a difference? Try taking a look at your business and see what changes you can make to make it better, so that if your friends do shop wherever they are already free to, your pocket wont be hurting.

Why do you really find this disrespectful?

“Maybe you can make your friends realize they made a mistake by going with someone else, and have they come back to you next time.”

She got her tongue pierced so she probably wont get it redone. She claims she’ll come to me for her next piercing in 2 weeks. This will be the test. But I think she only said this out of guilt. It is a piercing bellow the belt so I wont know if she got it done or not.

“Why do you really find this disrespectful?”

I’ve known them 13 years and we talked about it the week earlier.

All this would make him look like a crybaby bitch. That someone didn't like my toys so I'm going to make them feel bad about it.

Don't you think?