Well Zink, pretty much emotional energy wasted for such a tiny matter. Why that?
I think you are not so experienced in buisiness communications, it is a complete different matter than day to day conversations with friends or strangers.

Keep just a simple rule in mind: "Communicate what I want."

For example:
You wanted a mattress. I bet $50 that this was the only idea about the product when you entered the shop. You put trust in the assumption that the clerk will help you. Congratulations, you're doomed!

The job of the clerk is not to give you advices, the job is to sell something. So, in most cases the clerk will try to give you the feeling that you are completly incompetent to make a sane decision about the product you want.
I know this from computer buisiness. A customer wants to buy a computer and I used to tell him things like: 1.5 GHz, FireWire, DualRaid, FSB200, Hypertransport, Advaced Sound System, Centrino, AMD but Intel compatible, MMX unit, anisotrope antialiasing, fault tolerant system, MMX again but now for video, twin-view, flatscreen, TCO97, Eco-Compliant, three layered internet defense system, USB2.0, U100, 4.200rpm, 15ms, 2MB cache, 802.11g WLAN, 4 port 10/100 nway switch, 2.0 dBi antenna, manageable by SNMP and MIB-II(RFC 1213) !!!

Now the customer feels like a complete idiot, and you are god. God tells now the little sheep what to buy. Of course the most expensive product.

Just keep in mind what you want. A matrress, cheap and comftable. Listen to the blah blah and repeat communicating your simple requests, especially low price!

Don't react, create!

Hail Satan!

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How do I stop them from ruining my day?

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This helps!





Note: The author made this post only for entertainment purposes. It does not reflect his opinion how to behave in society nor it is meant as an advice for real life behaviour.

Thank you for this reply.
The fact that she was (not) selling mattresses has absolutely nothing to do with my feelings towards her.
Last year I learned ‘the hard way’ that who I am and what I do are not related. I had to give up a job that had been my goal for 5 years. When I finally reached it, it didn’t prove worth it.
At first it felt like a failure, a major setback… but after some time I realized that it wasn’t: I learned a lot, about myself and others, and it was a very valuable experience.
I’m happy I did it, but not sorry to end it.

Thank you, Magister.
This is a useful answer. I will try to keep this in mind next time someone irritates me.
The frustrations I get from similar events mostly come from the loss of control. When I lose control over a situation, I often lose my ‘cool’. I am learning tough… with your suggestion in mind I might remember to keep control, if not over a situation, than at least over myself…

Off the subject of Lesser Magic.
I used to work as the delivery boy at a place that made mattresses. It was a local mattress place, not serta or anything.
While I was working there, I noticed something. The only difference between the $300 mattress and the $1000 mattress was the color of the cloth.
Same springs, same padding. Just different color cloth. The pillow top was about the only thing that changed how the bed went together, other than that, everything came from the same pile.
And the best part was that the customers would lay down on the "different" beds and swear that one was firmer or softer. HA! If they only knew that the only differences was the color of the bed.
Toad

>>Many people in the herd upon meeting someone ask, "What
>>do you do?", which implies, "How much more or less
>>valuable are you compared to me?" Like the line in the
>>movie Fight Club, "You aren't yer fuckin' khakis!"

I've also seen the career-comparing attitude used in a seemingly opposite way. I've run into both blue-collar workers and starving artist types on occasion who ask what I do for a living, and then once they find out it involves sitting at a desk on weekdays, the solipsism begins. Their projected idea is that I must be miserable if I work in an office, because of course they feel they would be. Or that I have no creative output in my life. They usually start off with the follow-up question "Do you like it?" or if it were phrased more bluntly, "Yeah, but are you HAPPY?" There's also the stupid religious-based idea here of "I make less money than you, therefore I'm more humble, therefore I'm superior". Of course, it never occurs to these annoying dweebs that there might be people who don't want to run their own business, or whose interests and skills are much better matched to a career that falls into a white-collar category.

Though I suspect some of them, like their pretentious white-collar counterparts that you mention, are probably secretly unsatisfied with their own jobs, and are merely trying to find false justification for liking what they do for income. Some even start to grill me. One of my friends introduced me to his mom, and after she asked me what I did for a living, then followed up with the "Do you like it?" line. Huh? I answered along the lines of "Yeah, it's alright." She says "Hmm, it doesn't sound like you do." Damn, I don't know this woman 15 seconds, and already she's trying to act as my shrink!

Personally, I don't identify with the people who act pretentious around me about being self-employed starving artists, nor the hobbyless ones who define themselves by their job title. My occupation isn't my life.

When I start small talk just to get a feeling for someone I always asks, "So, what do you do for work?" Then after they have answered I reply with, "Sounds like fun." That is when their true colors show (not always, but usually).

When people ask me about work or school I always answer them with a "I love it." because I truly do or I would not be doing it.

Oh, Discipline, true indeed, on both counts.

I have actually found that you may need to insert a negative point into a conversation about school or your job in order to keep the conversation going, because many people have trouble springboarding off of a wholly positive topic, if that makes sense.

Of course it makes sense. However, I don't do it to entertain them. I do it to entertain myself. Their reactions and responses can lead to a lot of information on what type of person they are.

point taken, but she still should not have given her attitude. it was both rude and unnecessary. I loved the movie fight club and i agree with the quote, "you aren't your khakis" and she may not be her job, but she gave her attitude and deserves to be mocked.

Oh, good to hear I'm not the only one who's noticed it, then.

>>point taken, but she still should not have given her
>>attitude.

I never said otherwise. In fact, I never said anything about the original anecdote.

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Then, by your reasoning, I suppose "The Satanic Witch" is a pointless book.

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Anyone who reads the book cannot instantly be made a witch. Self-help books sell like hot cakes, but most people never grasp the information enough to find a solution to their personal problems.

It has always amazed me that so many take jobs that they hate. So much of our time on this planet is spent at our work places, it boggels the mind that someone would spend that time, at a place they didnt want to be. A self inposed prison sentance. I hear so much complaining from people hating thier jobs, then looking at me like I'm crazy when I might suggest they quit. Are time on this planet is brief, use that time wisely. Most inportant of all be glad you are alive, enjoy your life. Espeacialy your work place you will spend so much time there.

I agree, with qualifications:

I saw someone post that "you are not what you do", but I always tend to think that that is EXACTLY what you are... Your actions and endeavors tend to define your identity. You may not necessarily "be your job", but that does not mean you shouldn't set out to define your identity based on your accomplishments - whether you make a living from them or not.

I think it's pretty grand when people successfully make a living on something to which they are very enthusiastic about, and are able to mould their character from a productive endeavor. I am often guilty of taking this a little too far, I admit, and I tend to identify myself rather strictly on my career performace. When I periodically step back and look at this, I'm able to back off before it starts affecting my self esteem. Those without enough of this sort of reflection can be these types who hate what they do and make sure everyone knows it; those with an excess of this type of reflection tend to take on tasks they cannot handle and always feel shitty about themselves because they're failing at things they aren't even qualified to do...

Not everyone is as serious about that, but I think failing to identify in some way with your work/career can make one lose the logical connection between their quality of work and quality of life. Losing this connection is what results in so many people these days expecting more out of life than they put in...

So, yeah: you're going to spend the majority of your waking hours doing it, so you may as well do something you enjoy and which reflects who you are and what you do best...

MM